Roughly 24 hours ago, my first book, A Coat of Yellow Paint, officially released into the world! Physical hardcopies left warehouses en route to front porches and mailboxes across the country (and a few across oceans!) as many of you generously preordered in the weeks leading up to this day. Audio files of me narrating my book found their way to many of your tablets, too — marking April 6th as the birth of my book and a day my online community showed up for me and lended support. (I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU!)
Coming up on almost two years now of working on this book, I felt so many emotions yesterday (and even right now, 24 hours later.) A little bit anxious, so very thankful, frightened to an extent but mostly, so incredibly honored. There have been times in my life where many of the vulnerable stories I share in this book felt too terrifying to ever dig into publicly. Unsure how to navigate the world weighing in on experiences I knew I didn’t have the proper tools to wade through the noise with, I held them close and hoped for someday. Sometimes I’m not totally completely sure someday has fully arrived. I still get into my own head plenty, I still struggle with wanting to please other people. I still have days where the constant feedback on all the things in my life is a lot for me. But with time (and too many sleepless nights to count where the urgency in my gut kept me wide awake pulling me to do so), I know I don’t really have a choice. Because someday is now. And I am confident my messaging will find the woman or mother who needs this right now. Not someday, but now. And for that, I feel optimistic. I feel hopeful. I feel so very thankful.
Can I share one more quick thought? On an Instagram Live on the eve of my book release, I read the first paragraph from my acknowledgements in the back of my book. Because the first paragraph is a big thank you to YOU. My blog readers (and social media friends) who have been here since way back when. You have helped to build incredible community here. I have leaned on so many of you countless times over the years, through my own ups and downs and moments of growth. As I became a mother, carved my own path and shared lots of it with all with you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for choosing to stay. When our minutes are stretched so thin and life demands so much, I want you to know it means a lot that you choose to spend a few minutes on occasion over here on my corner of the internet. I hope to always make it worth your while, and I hope you know I love having you here.
Thank you for sharing this experience with me! I can’t wait to chat more with you in the coming weeks about many of the stories and topics in my book. Thank you thank you!