welcome again to my little corner of the internet! i blinked and it was suddenly mid october. something you’d think would make my heart giddily skip a few beats since i’ve been dreaming of autumn since like, the last hot humid week of august. but like much of my world at the moment, autumn appears to have arrived with her running shoes attached. and she’s moving so quickly, her arms extended as she’s trying to catch up to winter and i’m realizing i need her, all of it, everything, to slow the blank down.
i passed newborn twins in a stroller a few days ago. babies. babies who were maybe 6 or 7 pounds. fresh, new, teeny tiny babies. it was a sight to see but at the same time it broke my heart the way only time can break a heart. i couldn’t hold myself back from offering up all the congratulatory phrases and asking all the gushy questions i was asked myself with my new teeny tiny babies 6 or 7 pounds, once upon a time. “…and how old are yours?” the new twin mother asked as she acknowledged my own set of twins beside me. i looked at my beautiful baby girls smiling and signing with their hands the word “baby” as they do whenever they see one (or two) littles that are their size or smaller.;) forever and ever my “babies,” they are currently sporting 24-month sized clothing and some days acting like straight-up teenagers as they place their hands on their hips and give me some playful sass while i try to get them to the table or to their beds, these my big beautiful girls who really aren’t babies anymore – though i’ll never not be able to let go of calling them my baby girls. “15 months.” i replied. “wait, 16 months.” then i tried to picture the october calendar in my head. was it the 19th already? 20th? “oh gosh, in a few days they’ll be 17 months.”
while it’s been a chaotic month of attempting to get so much accomplished, i have been diligently trying my very best to slow down the things i can control. even the smallest little bits of the day, so amidst the short and fleeting moments of autumn twirling by in a matter of what feels like a few hours, i’m present for the hours she’s here. some of the tasks i once rushed with my babies – a quick bath before bed, a quick bedtime routine, a quick race to get everyone and everything ready and out the door – don’t really need to be so quick. my girls never want bath-time to end anyhow, so what’s more splashing, more bubbles, a few more minutes playing beside the tub with them and really being there. waiting – before i race to shampoo their wet hair and grab the warm towels to dry them off like i’m winning some sort of medal at the end of the evening for quickest and most efficient bath-time of the day. i could stroke their soft heads and sing a few more songs at bedtime as they drift to sleep without it hurting anyone. i know how desperate i can feel at the end of the evening wanting bedtime to be done and over so i can have my own minutes before my own bed but as i’ve stayed in their room, kneeling between their two tiny beds and soaking up the moment, it’s felt more special and meaningful than many of the moments that came before it in the hours leading up to bedtime. and i’m not great at this last one, but throwing away the phrases like “hurry hurry!” and “quick, let’s go!” at the doorway is something i’m always working on. we’ll still be late either way, frankly. and tying the shoes and putting on all the layers of coats in a little bit more of a “chill” manner helps my own head feel less stressed. not totally sure, but i have a feeling everyone feels less stressed when this mama is chill. ;)
anyway, a few little things i can control to help time remain here in a meaningful way. to help the month slow down. to not blink and have it be over already. one of my favorite months at that — october.
these photos, of a coat with plenty of orange, the bodega pumpkins on the corner and wool in my laced up boots because IT’S COLD OUTSIDE!- are my nod to this glorious month. my thank you for being one of my favorite months where we eat lots of chili and drink lots of broth. where we pull out the thicker blankets and the hats and point out all the vibrant color in the trees on our walks together in the park. where we realize autumn is always gone before we’re ready so we relearn to slow down and soak her up once again. to control time in the ways we can and celebrate our little babies not being babies but big kids. because we’re blinking and they’re growing and it’s not a terrible thing. it’s the best, really. mid october, you’re the best.
also, a few posts that are great for this time of year:
WHAT TO WEAR IN THE COLD (i put this together last year but updated the post with new info and findings since many things sold out last year. all about cold weather prep for you and your little ones.)
A SPOTIFY PLAYLIST (that’s great for the entire family this time of year. :)
HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE (freaking love how much the neighborhood truly comes alive this time of year!)
PHOTOS FROM LAST YEAR’S HALLOWEEN (costumes, halloween parties, our apartment decorated for the big day!)