another year around the sun.

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today, i am 33 years old. it feels good.

this day last year was one of my most vulnerable days on this earth. madalena and beatrice were just a few weeks old, and we were doing test after test at the hospital for one of my baby girls after she’d gotten a high fever in the middle of the night before my birthday (let me insert hear before getting any further that she ended up being totally fine, thank the Lord – but we didn’t know that going into our 2 day hospital stay). when i shared a little bit on my instagram after we arrived home, i was met with a lot of comments and DM’s like “you’re a terrible mother...” and “maybe if you hadn’t done [this or that]…” and also “you’re so tone deaf and full of yourself you can’t even see that this is your fault. she got sick because of you.”  

while i’ve prided myself to never put much weight into the comments and opinions of others in general – because the over the top #goals and #you’rePerfect comments from others are just as dangerous and damaging to soak in as the #youSuck and #weHateYou comments – and you definitely cannot base your own self worth on what someone else is writing/saying/thinking about you, i wasn’t able to cope with it last year on this day. i was already thinking and believing all of these bad things about myself, and seeing them in writing just made it all the more real. i remember laying on the floor in the hallway of our apartment all by myself with this pit in my stomach repeating the words, i am a terrible mother to myself. i didn’t feel worthy of being anyone’s mom. i felt my kids deserved so much better.

it took me longer than i’d like to admit to pull myself out of that spot mentally. a really long time. like months where i still didn’t feel deserving of anything i’d been given but especially of taking care of my kids because i allowed myself to believe i wasn’t a good mom.

365 days later, here is my birthday once again. this year, in my head, it doesn’t feel as dark and vulnerable a place. i’ll still make mistakes in the coming year, i’ll doubt myself on occasion and it’ll be valid because i’m not perfect. people will still talk and comment crappy things about me, my mothering, my life, even my hair (lol, bless them). and because i’m human, i am sure there will be times where it’ll sting and i’ll feel crushed. but only for a moment. because at the end of the day, there is no longer any room in my headspace to give it much thought after that. because i’ve found a personal rhythm inside my head over the last several months that i have longed for in the past. where i’m not carrying things that don’t need constant carrying, where i love the strong parts of my body and the softer squishier parts, too. where the make up, the false eyelashes, the walls have come off and down, and i’m okay going out the door into the world without any of it.

i’m still working on a lot of things. i’m still evolving and discovering and learning so much. but this birthday already feels a lot better than last year’s, and that has nothing to do with today’s itinerary but everything to do with my own headspace.

cheers to these moments in life where you can finally look yourself in the mirror with the bedhead and no make up and tired eyes, with the extra baby weight still holding onto your gut an entire year later and not a single ab in sight – but you like what you see… because you have taken the time, the self-care, the self-love to get there.

33. i like myself. i know myself. i’m a good mama, wife, friend. i’m imperfect. i’m still learning. but i know what is important and what isn’t. i’m eating the donuts and i’m prioritizing skin protection. i’m cuddling my babies close and letting go of the dumb grudges. i’m finding confidence in my role as a daughter of God. i’m seeking out the comfortable shoe over the cuter one. i’m thankful. i’m happy. i’m trying. today, i’m 33.

for those interested, the blouse i am wearing is on sale, linked here! also it is available in this color! (i’m wearing it here in LA last week.)

  1. Kate Ruiz

    Thank you for articulating so many of my own thoughts. On this journey, you’re a bit of a lighthouse, beaming out key reminders and aspirations that I need as well. So, thank you for your vulnerability and the stunning, authentic beauty that comes with it. Also, for a bit of the “unhealthy” praise – your blog photography is becoming a favourite “collection” of mine! I especially enjoy this portraits of you with the NYC food cart behind. Classic and fun. Happy Birthday, Taza :)

  2. Kelly Bowman

    Happy Birthday, Naomi! I’ve been following your journey for many years now (nine, maybe), and it’s so cool to see you in a place where you feel happy and confident. I’ve grown right along with you, and there’s something to be said about this magical thing called aging… we might not love the wrinkles and softer spots, but we can appreciate them, because of all the wisdom, self-assurance and bravery that also seems to form over time. It feels good. So, you keep on ignoring the haters and living your truth, because there are so many of us out there cheering you on and drawing inspiration from your authenticity. Best, Kelly

  3. Courtney

    Happy Birthday. You are a beautiful woman inside and out and I pray this year is your best yet.

    Looking at these photos I can’t help but think “she is a classic woman that inspires many”

    ….keep being yourself, your voice is so needed in this world!

  4. Steph

    Thank you for the heart warming, birthday post. You are an awesome Mom. One of the reasons why I am changing my mind on never wanting kids. Happy birthday! Cheers to 33.

  5. Olga

    Happy birthday, Naomi! You’re amazing and I’m so glad you’re in a better place this year vs. last. Your confidence and positivity is infectious!


  6. Saskia

    Happy Birthday Naomi!

  7. Korin

    I remember reading those horrible comments last year and I’m sad to say I’ve thought about them often in these first few weeks of my daughters life, and even let them keep me from going out with my daughter as much as I might have otherwise. But watching you and your family explore the world together has inspired me to trust my own instincts as a mom and get out with her more and more, and our bond (and my mental health) is so much better for it! Thank you for sharing your life even when people make it difficult.

  8. Holly

    I can not believe how mean people can be! Your never ending optimism is such an inspiration to me. Thank you for being you and sharing your family with us.

  9. jackie

    i LOVE this! so happy that you have found a good headspace for you and aren’t letting the negativity get to you. that is a brave decision and inspires me to do the same. also, you are an incredible mother. i don’t have any children (yet), but follow your blog and instagram because your beautiful family reminds me of the good in the world and inspires me to live my life in a more compassionate and caring way. happy birthday and thanks for sharing all of this wisdom! 💗

  10. Natalie

    I don’t comment here often and while I am sure there are lots of things we do and see differently in life and parenting, there has never been a question to me of whether or not you are a good mom! Commenting negatively about someone’s parenting when they have a newborn sick in hospital is alllllllll kinds of horrible. I’m so sorry you had to go through that on top of the worry you felt for your girl. I hope you block and delete those comments with reckless abandon these days.


  11. Lydia

    I’m so sorry you received such hateful comments. Some people put themselves out there and some people sit in the shadows and judge. I wouldn’t last a day. I know it’s reflective of the commenter and their ugliness within but it’s still so hard to receive. I’m baffled by the lack of perspective/superiority. Your kids are so fortunate to have you.

  12. Kim

    As a mom who has been through the sick newborn in the hospital thing, I can’t even imagine coming home to comments like that. There is nothing scarier than a sick baby, plus all the emotional turmoil of being post partum and recovering from birth. I’m so sorry that happened to you and I am so glad you feel better now. Happy birthday!

  13. Elizabeth

    Happy birthday! Keep on growing keep on learning

  14. Teresita

    I needed this.
    Thank you for reaching your hand out mamas who feel defeated and reminding them that our Lord is always holding us.
    You’re an angel.

  15. Allie

    Absolutely amazes me that people would come at you like that. you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. You are always positive and sharing your beautiful pictures with the world. I hate to think of any troll getting to you like that. Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful birthday and magical year ahead!

  16. Gretchen

    Happy Birthday, Naomi!

  17. Claire

    happy birthday naomi!

    you’re such a strong woman and for sure a really good one.

    I wish you all the best, 33 definitely looks very good on you.

    all the best from france!

  18. Katie

    All the #fuckthenoise and #you are a good mama hash tags yiu can possible read today. It is so hard and we should support each other, not tear each other down. Go, year 33, go!

  19. KathyRo

    It seems especially cruel that the people who provide us with so much free entertainment and encouragement also have to suffer the slings and arrows of jealous and miserable strangers. I’m sorry you had to go through this, Naomi, I hope you have a brilliant birthday!

  20. Ally

    This was 110% one of the most inspirational posts I’ve ever read, brought tears to my eyes. Your vulnerability on this platform and just the simple way you live your life inspires me every day. Thank you for always sharing, even when its hard and scary! You inspire many.

  21. Claire

    Happy birthday! Another beautiful post, thank you for this blog, it’s been a huge source of positive inspiration on my own parenting journey. I’m also loving the new look sans fake eyelashes ! I’m trying to bin mascara – war on plastic and it’s a stupid single use number, I don’t have your gorgeous dark eyes though, which definitely don’t need any other definition! Keep growing – I think you are doing brilliantly

  22. Sydney85

    Happy Birthday! I so enjoy seeing you and your happy family. My children are much older than your little ones and yes if I look back I can see I made mistakes but at the time I did what I thought was right. Enjoy your days with the family as it goes so fast.

  23. Suzanne Visser

    Dear Naomi,

    I’m so very sorry to hear about those nasty comments. I keep wondering what it is that makes people want to hurt other people – just because they can. In the end, it’s because we’re all broken, I suppose. And those people maybe more than you and me. But please, please, don’t let them hurt you again. You are a wonderful, brave person and a lovely mother, the best your children could have. And you’re an amazing example to young mothers all over the world. Lots of love on your birthday!

  24. Joy

    Happy birthday! Inspiring thoughts and beautifully written. I’m only 2 years ahead of you (in age) and can relate a lot to letting go of the stuff that isn’t serving my mental health. It sure is a journey!

  25. Tammy

    Happy happy Birthday!

  26. Hanne

    Thank you, Naomi… And sincerely ‘bravo’. Happy Birthday xxx

  27. Sara

    I’m so glad you shared this. It’s hard enough having to deal with those comments, but piled onto postpartum is near impossible. PPD comes in all shapes and sizes. I’m so glad you are on the other side. Happy birthday!

  28. Rachel

    Happy Birthday sweet Mama!!!! I pray that God continues to bless you and your family and speak to your heart everyday that He loves you and you are doing the best you can, and that’s all that matters. I pray that He will build up a hedge of protection around you that will allow you to fend off the negativity and protect you. All the love Mama!!! You’re not alone :)

  29. Katia

    A very Happy birthday, Naomi!! May this new year of your life be full of love, laughter, happiness and bright magical moments!
    You ARE such an inspiration and you will never really know how much you help others by just being REAL, being YOUR TRUE SELF!
    I’m 34 and due to health difficulties haven’t had children yet, and many a times I was wondering whether God would sent us even one child to love and care, whether I would be able to be a Mother to even one human being. And your example really and trully shows that everything IS possible with God and great husband (of course!) :) 5 gorgeous babies at 33 – you are rocking it, Mama!!
    Have a fantastic birthday and a super year being 33 🎉🎉🎉

  30. Emi

    Happy birthday! Thanks for sharing the not so good times. I think your IG is an inspiration, to look for the bright side of motherhood. I prefer to say positive things is like smiling , you can change someone’ day, if you can’t you better be quiet!

  31. Tracy

    Happy Birthday, Naomi!! So glad to hear that you are in a much better place this year. We are all imperfect and still so very worthy! Thank you for allowing yourself to share your feelings, your hard days, your triumphs, your beautiful and loving family, and everything in between. You are a wonderful writer, mom, and role model. I”m sure it is not easy to stay so open, but as a long-time blog reader, it is definitely appreciated.

  32. Brooke

    Happy birthday! I’m not quite sure how anyone could write anything cruel about you. You are darling, and it is so obvious how deeply you care for your family! Much love today!

  33. Lindsay Haws

    Ive had a sick three week old in the hospital for a week and it is still the worst thing I’ve lived through. I can’t imagine hateful comments making it even worse. You are amazing! You make mistakes but that doesn’t make your heart any less golden! Our kids are similar ages and I’ve been reading you since almost the beginning. Our lives are totally different but one thing I love is that you choose the happy. You choose the sunshine. It’s a total inspiration. Happy birthday! I hope in a few short years that 33 is as fabulous for me!

  34. Meagan R.

    Happy birthday, you beautiful soul. The world is better and brighter with you in it. <3

  35. Misha

    I am wishing you the happiest of birthdays today! 💕

    And it absolutely unfathomable that someone would ever make a comment on you being a terrible mother. While I realize it’s hard not to internalize things, I really hope that you know those comments are about them and not about you! I’ve been reading along with your blog for years (since before you were a mama) and I’ve always admired you so. Please know that there are so many readers that just adore you! Happy, Happy Birthday! 💕

  36. Kate

    Happy birthday Naomi! I’ve been visiting your page since E was about 6 months old and have loved all your posts since. You’re a constant inspiration (I even considered moving to NYC once because of how fun your life is there until I think of the winters and I just can’t do [classic Australian]!) who so clearly shows pride in herself and her family and her life. It’s fun to come visit your page and feel like a very super, 15 times removed distant relative.

    I hope 33 is a great year for you. You’re only 3 years older than me, but when I grow up to be an adultier adult, I hope it’s to be as someone like you!

  37. MH

    Happy Birthday Naomi!! I’m so sorry about all the nasty people out there. I have always loved your joyful spark when it comes to motherhood and I have noticed that you seemed a bit different after having the girls. I assumed it was because you were extremely busy since duh, twins! As a mom myself of only two kids (and without an audience), I’ve experience difficulty with thoughts of inadequacy which have led to anxiety and depression. With God’s help, I was able to overcome that after a year of suffering. I really do not wish it upon anyone and to hear that you’ve been going through a difficult time breaks my heart because your joy for motherhood and dedication to your kiddos has always inspired me. Please don’t let others dim your light. I know it’s probably easier said than done. But you’re an amazing mom and don’t let anyone ever convince you otherwise! xoxo

  38. Caitlyn

    I really like this you. Happy birthday!

  39. KATIE

    HAPPY 33!!!

    PS What is wrong with some people!? Been reading your blog for years – back when you were a mom of 1. It’s a privilege to us that you share so much of your life with the internet. As we all know, it can be a wonderful community or a place where people hide behind screens and say things they’d never dare say to someones face in real life. You’ve been a great mom since day 1 with Miss E and you’re an ever greater mom now with your whole crew!

    *insert nasty word here which isn’t appropriate for a happy blog* the haters!

    Hope you receive nothing but love on your day :)

  40. Maren

    This space is such a breath of fresh air. Happy Birthday Naomi! You are one of my motherhood inspirations!

  41. Amy

    The messages you share on your blog and in social media are so important. You have managed to stay true to yourself and never lose your authenticity despite unfair judgement and criticism. I look forward to your positivity. It’s truly admirable and I hope you never give it up. Happy birthday!

  42. Laure

    What lipstick are you wearing? It’s beautiful!

    You always inspire me + I appreciate you sharing!

  43. Anneke

    You got it right, babe. The truest and most worthy of birthday wishes is to know and to love the whole parts of you. I love the light you’re sharing, and I hope this next trip around the sun brings even more of that goodness. Happiest Birthday.

  44. CARMEN

    Muchas felicidades. Gracias, gracias, gracias por alegrarme un poquito todos los días con tus maravillosos post. Gracias por compartir .

  45. Michelle

    Happy Birthday! Why is it other Moms can be the worst shamers? It seems like we should be the most understanding…the biggest supporters. I think one down side to social media is that it often makes others more comfortable saying things they would never say to someone face to face. It’s not constructive. It’s not helping. I’m grateful for how genuine and positive you are. You encourage me as a woman and mother. I also assume that though you’d never choose to have your little one in the hospital that you have a new perspective from the experience and growth from making it through. Bless your heart and your beautiful family!

  46. Julie

    Ha, I’ve followed you since Eleanor and Samson were just babies but it’s not until just now that I realised we share the same birthday!? Well, happy birthday to you – 33 suits you.

  47. Emily C

    Happy Birthday Naomi! I’m glad you’re feeling good these days. It’s a bummer that people feel the need to write nasty things – such a bizarro impulse that so clearly stems from a place of insecurity. THEY NEED TO CALM DOWN! 😂

    I think it’s awesome that you’re still doing your thing and continue to be vulnerable and honest with us in spite of the haters. That takes a lot of courage and strength. You’re humble, loving, and self-aware, and I think those are such valuable attributes for children to observe in their parents — not contrived “perfection.”

    Hope 33 is your best year yet! Sending love from Saigon 💕

  48. Laura

    It’s crazy people would say such nasty things. It’s just a reflection of their own unhappiness and has nothing to do with you. You are a light!

    Happy birthday!

  49. Amy V

    Happy birthday! I can’t believe anyone would say those awful things to you when your child was sick in hospital. Here’s to focusing on what’s important, on growing and taking care of yourself and loved ones xx

  50. emily

    I typically am not one to comment, but this had me in tears. The internet can be such a wonderful place, but also a cruel one. I’ve followed along for years, not just for your style, etc, etc, ETC, but because you are such a wonderfully positive voice and mother to your babes. I envy you guys because I hope to be that adventurous, patient, kind and loving with my family.

    Keep on keeping on and Happy Birthday Naomi!

  51. Paige S

    Beautiful post, Naomi. Keep doing what your doing! And happy birthday.

  52. Ashley R

    I hope your birthday was wonderful! I’m halfway through 33 now and I realized a couple weeks ago that I’m finally feeling all these things too. I’m comfortable within my own skin and I’m taking better care of myself (physically, emotionally, mentally) than I ever have and it all just happened gradually. Mid 30s is such a magical time, I think.

  53. Liliana Ferrari

    Buon compleanno cara amica… grazie per aver condiviso ancora una volta i tuoi sentimenti, le tue paure e le tue insicurezze! Hai un sorriso bellissimo ed è lo stesso sorriso che c’è sul volto dei tuoi bambini…
    un abbraccio dall’italia! ❤️

  54. Yaindy Lara

    your words hit so close.. Happy Birthday!

  55. Adrienne

    Thank you for such an honest, warm, beautiful post. I’ve been reading your blog since I was pregnant with my first baby and, for what it’s worth, you’ve been a huge inspiration to me as a mother. Happy Birthday:).

  56. Lucie

    Thank you, Naomi, for being so honest.
    I turned 33 about a week ago. Two kids under my belt and a very squishy belly that just won’t go away, a 2 yo that still doesn’t get the concept of sleeping through the night and sometimes all I can see is how bad a mother I am because my kids keep moaning and protesting and fighting… Thank you for reminding me of what really matters.
    Happy birthday to you!

  57. sabrina

    absolutely beautiful. good for you!

  58. S M

    🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 🙌🏻have a wonderful day!

  59. Emily

    I love this, and I love your message of kindness and happiness. Thank you for always saying the right thing. You are a bright light.

  60. Natalie Dybzinski

    This post is why we all love you and have stuck around for so long! Thank you!

  61. Lisa

    As a mother of four this is one of the most realistic commentaries I’ve ever read about mothering. Thank you for being brave enough to share your experiences. I can relate 100%. We are own worst critics, We make mistakes, We are not perfect. We need to give ourselves permission to be human. Don’t worry about the.haters. They are not happy with themselves so they need someone to project their unhappiness on. Keep writing. You are contributing soemething very valuable to stressed out mothers.

  62. Jaana

    Hey Naomi, Happy Birthday! I’ve followed your blog since almost the beginning and it’s brought me nothing but joy. Hope you have a wonderful day!

  63. Rose J.

    You are a natural beauty Naomi and you don’t need all that stuff to make you look good! Coming from a 47 year old momma of four you are a wonderful mother and we all do the best we can and as your children get older I promise they will remember you for that! continue to ignore what others (who don’t even know you) write online, and just be your bubbly self. You truly are a wonderful person! Happiest of birthdays to you girl!


  64. Sammy

    OMGoodness! Why are you being so hard on yourself? You are obviously a good Mom. Does the Bible say we are suppose to be perfect Moms? If it did we would all be in trouble, I’ve never met a perfect Mom, but I have met Moms that thought they were perfect. : -)

    My husband and I have adopted 12 kids. All children deserve good Moms, but no children deserve perfect parents bc there is no such thing. Stop picking on yourself!

  65. juneypie

    happy birthday, Naomi!

    “seeking out the comfortable shoe over the cute one” – welcome to the ‘old age’ as my teenage kids say!

    but the old age is a good place to be!

    hope your day is awesome!

  66. Shandy

    Haters gonna hate! It is their self-projection and insecurity directed at you. Thanks for the very “real” post! Happy Birthday!

  67. Andi

    I had no idea people are so mean, I live in an absolute bubble. That is horrendous. Happy birthday o

  68. Ana Badallo

    I never post a comment but from the bottom of my heart know that I think you do an absolute great job at being a mother. Do not focus on those negative hurtful comments, focus always-always-always on the positive.

  69. Becca

    Happy Birthday! I can’t believe people were so nasty to you. It says much more about them than it does about you. There is nothing worse than having a baby sick in that first year when they are so little and vulnerable and hormones are just coursing through you. Neither of mine were sick enough to warrant a hospital visit (I can’t even imagine). I’m glad you are feeling happy with where you are in life. I think I’m a good mom too. Also, I have horrendous abdominal separation but I don’t care because I had two miscarriages before my daughter was born and I’m just happy she’s here. Here’s to 33, my dear!

  70. You are an EXCEPTIONAL mother.

    It breaks my heart that moms need to shame others to justify their own parenting style.

    As long as you and your family are happy and healthy, that is all that matters.

    Thank you for bringing sunshine into our daily lives.

  71. Liz

    Dear Naomi, wishing you the best new year. You go momma, you are an inspiration to me and I love coming to this little corner of the internet to see your beautiful children and to read your words on life, love, new york, parenting and everything inbetween. I’ve been reading your blog for almost 10 years now and am amazed how you manage to do it al. You are enough, Naomi! God bless you and your family. Take care, love from the Netherlands xo

  72. Mindy

    Amen sister! I have followed you for years and admire you as a mother and woman. I’m always amazed by haters. How do their hearts handle all of it?

    I struggled for years with perfectionism, eating disorders, the desire to be perfect. My mom would say, “perfect is a finished project. Do you really want to be finished?” No! Keep growing and learning and be the amazing person you are!33 looks great on you! I’m 46 and I will tell you… it just keeps getting better and better! Happy birthday! x0x0

  73. Grace

    Beautifully written and so candid! I don’t have kiddos, so I cannot necessarily relate, but I feel for ya. People can be quite cruel, especially through via social platforms.

    But happy birthday and I hope this year brings you nothing but goodness!

  74. Anna

    dear naomi
    you are our sunshine, our guide, our almost-perfect-mommy that We try to be, thank you for all your wonderful posts about motherhood, about your family, these all little sweet smiling faces showing how wonderful you are, please never give up, we love you and need you, you’re the best

  75. Emily

    This post is just what I needed to read. Please stay as you are and a belated happy birthday!

    Emily | Snippets of Em xx

  76. Jenna

    Thanks for sharing about your journey of coming into yourself. I’m at the start of the same process—esp the not carrying things that don’t need constant carrying. Your kids are so lucky to have you as a mama and you’re doing a great job! The internet is a mean place sometimes, but thanks for adding your dose of positivity to it :)

  77. Natalie

    Naomi, you are so inspiring! Happy birthday and may your new year be wonderful! Cheers! :)

  78. Jess

    I have so much respect for you putting yourself out there in this inter-web world. It shows so much courage to be you and not let the haters get you down. You are a gorgeous woman but the light that shines from within you is the prettiest part. You look like a wonderful mother and I am inspired by you! Keep on, keepin’ on!!

  79. Ashley

    What in the world??!! Why would people say such things? They clearly have nothing but time on their hands to be jerks. #getajob

  80. Monica

    Happiest birthday! I think this is your best post yet. Thank you for being “YOU” and sharing the hard right along with the good.

  81. Haridian

    Wow Naomi! What a wonderful text! If it is hard to be a good mom, good wifi, good friend, good worker,.. in a normal life (without pain messages) i can not imagine how hard it will be for you. Continue domingo it as you are doing. You have a really beautiful family. Enjoy your 33 years. Greetings from the north of spain. XOXO.

  82. Lottie

    The start of this post makes me so sad – you’re doing a fantastic job, don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

    Happy birthday :) xx

  83. Nina

    Congratulations also from me afterwards!

    A great text – respect!

    It probably cost some effort. I didn’t know about the comments. But I know the feeling, if one of the children is ill, high fever, the cause still unclear, you are standing next to it, nothing can be done, the child / children is getting more and more worse… And then you get such comments?!? Frightening, what kind of people there are :-(

    Ignore them, go on like you are and stay true to yourself!

  84. S

    I can’t think of one person who shouldn’t ignore a ton of stuff people would say if they were to voice their full opinions to her. It doesn’t mean sticking your head in the sand, we’re just a world of all different kinds. One of the greatest gifts I’ve given myself is letting myself follow my gut about when to do that without feeling guilty or needing to justify it to myself. You’re not some namby pamby who’s just going to ignore criticism because it goes against your ego, right? You have good reason if you genuinely feel something is not worth engaging with. Safeguard your own spirit, happiness, and time – you need it for all the stuff you have to do!

  85. I can not believe how mean people can be! Your never ending optimism is such an inspiration to me. Thank you for being you and sharing your family with us.