on the notes section of my phone last week, i started compiling a summer bucket list for our family. writing down all of the things i wanna squeeze in during our summer days together over break from fire fly catching and kite flying in central park to family bike rides all the way over the brooklyn bridge. and don’t forget the mini road trips and adventures in new places! it started getting lengthy, and very full. and long. so very long. i hadn’t even gotten input from the kids yet, this was simply just my rough sketch before taking it to the family. and then, because of my current habitual state of always being overly tired, i yawned while reading it over. and then, realizing i was yawning while looking over what was becoming a rather listy to-do sort of summer list, i gave myself room to laugh for a minute. then i started a new list.
it’s a summer bucket list for myself. and it doesn’t consist of much. it’s more of a self-love sorta list, a slow down and take things off your plate – not add to it – kind of list. it reads in a way that gets me excited for these warm months ahead. because i only have the bandwidth for so much, and no more. and i see the toll it takes on not just myself, but everyone, when i exceed my own personal bandwidth and think i can do more. with less sleep, with less time. it’s a joke and it’s a trap. i’ve seen examples of this magnified in my own life and i’ve caught myself falling into the pattern more often than i realize. it’s tricky to identify at times because i enjoy keeping busy and challenging myself by taking on new projects or goals and i enjoy doing a lot with my little ones every day. as mothers and fathers and caregivers of anyone beyond ourselves, it’s easy to think it’s the only way, or a more selfless way, to go go go and give give give. but eventually, it will backfire. i think we all know this deep down but we keep trekking along full speed ahead thinking it won’t affect us the way it might others. lol. our brains are so cute sometimes.
my personal summer bucket list for myself consists of just five things – a few feeling rather personal so i won’t go into them here, with others more broad like unplugging from all things tech frequently and allowing myself to eat and enjoy all the treats summer brings my way. (i mean, who wouldn’t be excited for their summer list if seeking out the treats was a required staple!)
the kids will be fine, the family will be fine. we’ll still get out each day and do things together. we’ll maybe catch fireflies and maybe we won’t. we’ll take the bikes out, i’m confident of that, but perhaps not all the way across the brooklyn bridge. we’ll keep the kites near the front door incase a windy day presents itself and we’ll adventure in our own right together plenty. we won’t beat ourselves up though if we never get to the kites, or bike the extra mile because these things weren’t declared a summer “must” back when our energy felt a little higher. we’ll laugh and cry and make memories and have fun. but none of it will read as a to-do list – as a cross this off and move onto the next check-box ever so quickly because we are jamming in all of the things this summer! we’ll slow down and enjoy. and mama, she’ll be having the summer of all summers because she’s in the proper frame of mind – which counts for more than one might think – without the ginormous summer bucket-list in hand (because she has a treat in her hand instead)… and did i mention she isn’t sharing said treat?!
yep. it’s gonna be a good few months for me over here. i really believe that. and i’m so excited.
you are welcome to join me! write your own personal summer bucket list which has nothing to do with your kids or anyone else. just you. put some extra love on that list for yourself! even just two things. write them down. you don’t have to share it with anyone, either. and as summer comes, with the crazy pressure to do everything and be everywhere and hardly ever find a moment for yourself, you step outside and close your eyes and look up and feel that sunshine on your face and prioritize your little personal summer list! you and me, we’re gonna have the best summer ever. :)