the last several days, i’ve felt like the exhaustion from life these past few months and the changes we’ve experienced have slowly been catching up with me. mama is tired. there is this never ending cycle over here of someone always hungry and needing to eat, dirty clothes into the wash and clean clothes needing folded, putting toys away and then still stepping on toys, trying to be attentive to each of my 5 babies while also trying to put out their little fires and keep the peace in a loving way. and then once one baby is fed or changed, it’s time to feed and change the other one. even with structure and routine incorporated into this day-to-day….it’s a chaotic life, this one we’ve created. a tiring life, at least this chapter of it. of course, a full life, too, in the most beautiful way. i’m not discrediting that in the least. but tiring. it’s tiring. it’s really really tiring.
sometimes someone might observe a photo or a post of mine and comment along the lines of how we get out and do so much. and then maybe follow that comment up with something about how we must have so much energy. those comments are hard for me. because here’s the thing. we don’t. (or at least i don’t.) i’m tired and still catching up on sleep from last year. but a few thoughts. 1. we can be either cooped up inside a tiny apartment driving each other mad or we can get outside where fresh air seems to do everyone some good. and 2. one of the reasons i love living in new york city so very much is because the city carries a sort of energy that invigorates yours when your exhaustion levels are at their lowest. it’s hard to explain. but let me try… i think this city carries itself in a way that feels like a charger. i’m the phone and my battery is in the red all the day long but new york city is like finding an outlet and plugging in your phone when it’s at 1% and still getting to use it at the same time. you don’t have to wait for it to charge back up to 100% before using it again, you can be at 1% and still open all the tabs. all the freaking tabs PLUS all the freaking apps. hey, you can keep your screen crazy bright, too. it’s cool. because it’s somehow giving you a full charge while letting you do your thing simultaneously. so for me personally, i might feel in the red at 1%, but i get outside and i walk and i walk and i pass people and places and smells and signs and colors and emotions and love and lights and new things and old things and foods and sounds and as i do so, i feel like i’m being charged. 15%, 22%, before i know it, 48% and it’s only lunchtime. we head home after a full day of exploring with the kids… different neighborhoods and a lot of eating, playgrounds and chatting with strangers, making new friends and wandering streets we’ve never been down. nursing the babies on city corners and city steps. walking and walking some more. even a subway train delay mishap that leaves us a sweaty hot mess with no train to ride and several avenues to walk crosstown on the way home, somehow still feeling like i’m being charged and i’m inching up to 80%. maybe this metaphor made zero sense and you aren’t with me anymore. in my defense, i’m inside my apartment at 1% and haven’t been outside in several hours. so you understand. ;) anyway, the short of it is, new york carries an energy that replenishes my energy and i’m so very thankful for it in this chapter of life where sleep just isn’t as plentiful as i’d like it to be. thank you, new york, for being my charger.
some photos from saturday when it took me a solid hour that morning to even get into the shower before we left because i was tired and kept being sidetracked by wanting to sit down. we didn’t get out of the apartment until much later in the day than we first anticipated, but once we did, i was glad because #nyccharger. turned out to be a really good day.
an incredible brother (most of the time, we’re 3 years old after all), and the way beatrice and madalena light up whenever one of their siblings comes over is very special. it’s apparant they love each other so much. ps. how much do you die over beatrice’s upper arm rolls?! they make me so happy.
madalena. i could get lost looking into her eyes all day long.
the aftermath of sleeping in her braids from the day before. this beauty and her pretty locks are something else.
photo by conrad!
another photo by conrad. (there were maybe 20 like this because he discovered the rapid fire/continuous setting and went to town!)
halva toast from dez. one of our favorite restaurants right now (the moroccan meatballs and the chicken dish that has pistachio nuts is insane! we get those everytime, too!)
i love them i love them i love them i love them.
have a wonderful week, everyone!