we’ve been in southern utah the last few days spending time with josh’s parents at their home in st. george. we’ve loved our time here, the kids especially, since there have been plenty of wild bunny and lizard spottings, time in the pool and lots of loving from their grandparents. always the struggle of living so far away from both my parents and josh’s is not having ample amounts of grandparent quality time for these three little ones, but even in small doses, we’ll take it. and even in small doses, it’s everything.
something i struggle with often is trying to navigate if i’m doing everything right for my family. i know i’m not the only one who feels this guilt in some shape or form, but it shows up on occasion and it hits you hard. about a month ago, someone asked eleanor where her favorite place she’s traveled to has been, and she didn’t miss a beat before responding excitedly, “utah!” following up right after with, “because nana and granddad and grandma and grandpa live there!” it was very sweet. but then it also made me feel really bad. because we live far away from utah, and like, are we doing this all wrong not living next to grandparents? and then people tell you, “you should live here.” or “you should live over there.” or “you should be by family.” or some variation on that phrase and after you hear it enough, you do start to second guess everything a little bit. family is so important to us, and i want my kids to have meaningful and deep relationships with family beyond their immediate, but i also know that no one can call those shots for us but ourselves, and we know where our family needs to be and how we thrive together in our own little space, which for now, feels right for us in manhattan. it might be hard from time to time, but it’s right. and it makes the short weekends together with grandparents or FaceTime calls a little more special, that is for sure.
we’ve taken the week a bit slower out here, but we still brought the camera around a bit, and below are some photos from marshmallow roasting last night in the back yard. i don’t know how southern utah can go from such high and dry heat in the middle of the day to such freezing cold nights a few hours later, but we’re somehow in swimsuits around noon and puffer jackets by sundown! it’s facinating, and we love it!