so my 30th birthday is a little over 8 weeks away! i normally wouldn’t be counting down the weeks like that, but the past few months have been so full of reflection and also goal making and setting into action, that it’s currently more or less front of mind. i feel like birthdays are a big deal no matter what age, but this 30th milestone just feels a little more “bam! you’re 30!” to me than years in the past.
honestly, for a few years there in my twenties i couldn’t even remember how old i was, and would sometimes say the wrong age! lol! i remember once when josh so kindly leaned in at the hospital after conrad was born and yet another nurse came in to ask me my age along with a billion other questions…he whispered, “i didn’t know if i should correct you during labor, but you’re actually 28.” it was kind of the cutest thing, that he just let me keep saying 27 for the past several hours when staff would ask. we laughed so hard.
i’m so grateful for the things i’ve been able to accomplish so far in my life, my biggest accomplishment becoming a mother to my three beautiful babies. i look at them and feel so fulfilled. i remember just a few months shy of my juilliard graduation when my peers were hitting the professional dance company audition circuit really hard, confessing to one of my directors at school that i was feeling less fulfilled dancing and longing to find something else that fulfilled me the way dance once did. people ask me all the time if i miss it, the dancing. it’s such a funny thing, and i think it’s sometimes hard for someone to understand my decision who is looking in on the outside, but no! i love seeing dance, supporting dance, still being somewhat a part of that world, but i do not miss it the way i once did when just going a weekend without moving my body felt like torture. in fact, i feel happier and more fulfilled during my chaotic days as a mother than i ever have. with a baby tugging on my shirt and two others talking over each other wanting my attention. usually surrounded by legos and always running late. but i love it. being away from my kids just for a few days last weekend while in nashville almost felt painful towards the end. i just wanted to squeeze them and love on them so terribly. i kept asking josh for updates and pictures every couple of seconds. ;) i while i feel fortunate to have other outlets, like this blog and all that has come with it, which most definitely feeds other parts of me that crave that sort of pace and change and outlet, i feel most confident and like myself when i’m with my family. sometimes i don’t even know what i’m doing or if i’m doing it correctly when it comes to being a mom, but i try and learn and do my best and when my head hits the pillow at night and i can’t keep my eyes open a second longer, i can’t help but silently thank my father in heaven for giving me this chapter of life that i sometimes feel can’t ever be topped.
with that 30th birthday just a few weeks away, i’ve been making lots of lists! working on personal habits and goals that i’m realizing won’t change or take place unless i do the work to make them happen! you know how sometimes you’re like, “i’ll do it this way when i’m an adult.” well, i can’t tell you how many times i feel like i’m just faking it till i make it when it comes to some things in regards to adulthood. so, i wanted to share a few things i’ve been working on, a few goals, and a few bucket list dreams i wanna make happen in my 30’s. i’m afraid they just might never happen unless i write them down and get to work!
the big and little goals for my 30’s…
-carry a water bottle with me everywhere. stop buying plastic water bottles when i’m out.
-limit time spent on social media (i actually have been working at this one for a while now! i’ve started charging my phone in the kitchen at night about a month ago so it’s never brought into the bedroom, and i try to not look at it until well after breakfast and morning routines with the kids have taken place, as well as limiting my time on them during the day when i’m with my kiddos. it’s been changing my life! little by little!)
-take a hot air balloon ride at sunrise or sunset.
-take my make up off at night and find a skin care routine i’m willing to stick with. (embarrassed to say i often go to sleep without washing my face. so gross, i know. but i’m working on it.)
-send a few hand written notes each month, to family, friends and loved ones (since i’m terrible at talking on the phone.)
-volunteer more, and bring my kids along (we’ve loved volunteering with many of you at meatloaf kitchen every few months! but i want to find more ways to involve my kids as well in service around their community.)
-continue developing my daily habit of exercising and build upon it (hey, i did successfully “run” on the treadmill for 3 consecutive minutes last week during my speed walking routine. beginning to feel like anything is possible!)
-become less of a night owl, and more of a morning person. maybe get a more solid morning routine down before the kids wake up so i’m ready for them instead of the other way around!
-learn a language. this is a big one, because after trying to teach myself italian several years ago and unsuccessfully only walking away with a handful of phrases, i’m more determined than ever to begin learning properly as the kids will begin learning spanish in school. i want to learn with them! i’ve committed!
-go on that african safari (our kids talk about it on the daily. haha! which is so funny because it’s been my dream since before they were even born. i love how they love adventure and travel as much as i do. making it a goal for my 30’s to take the entire family there.)
what’s on your list of goals or dreams for the next decade of your life?