probably my most asked question these days, from friends and strangers on the street alike, is something along the lines of “THREE! HOW IS LIFE WITH THREE?!” the thing is, the transition from one baby to two babies was more of a shock to me, and while my arms are out numbered these days and there can be ample noise and chaos around me at any given moment, life with three is pretty darn good. while i’m obviously still not an expert by any means and am still learning myself, here are my three biggest take aways since adding conrad to our family a few months ago. i hope they’re helpful to someone out there…
accept help when offered. you don’t have to do everything by yourself. they aren’t kidding when they say it takes a village, or in our case, a city. and it truly does. i used to feel like i couldn’t be given the appropriate credit of even ‘adequate mother’ if i wasn’t doing all of it, on my own. but how does one even do all of it on her own? let someone help you with your bags if they offer, or hold the door for you if they’re willing, or tie your child’s shoe or watch you kiddos for a minute while you change the baby’s diaper…. how wonderful it is when someone says, “need a hand?” and extends one. you can also ask for a hand if one isn’t extended. chances are good someone will extend one within seconds if you just simply ask. thank the heavens for kind people everywhere. thank you thank you thank you!
right now, with my husband working from home with me, i feel extra lucky because it means he’s here to save the day several times a day when i need saving. i’m aware this set up right now for us of having that flexibility during our work day is pretty sweet, especially since i know what it’s like when he used to be away for long long hours even when i just had one, and then two babies. i don’t think anyone will ever realize how much he does, in all areas of our life. and no one will ever be as thankful as me.
while it might be slightly confusing to talk about letting go of control and allowing others to help and then say, don’t take crap from anyone but, don’t take crap from anyone. i don’t think you should tell people off, but i do think we shouldn’t let critiques and criticism get us down. sure, the sweet little old lady on the street might let you know you’re doing it all wrong, but in her mind she’s trying to be helpful. sometimes it’s best to just nod and smile and keep walking. those sorts of encounters can be easy to rub off. but then you might get that kind of comment from a loved one on a more personal level, and it’ll make you second guess how you’re doing because we all know the mom guilt is real. and while constructive criticism can be a really great thing, sometimes the comments aren’t constructive, or helpful in any way. and they just make you feel like a bad mom, or that you’ll never get this. and they can sting. which is why i truly am trying to live by the motto of just not giving it another thought. nobody has time for that, especially when you have your arms full.
take a break. motherhood is full and blessed and beautiful and i’ll say that until i’m blue in the face, but not every moment is that way. and every few days when i feel in over my head, making time for myself, even just a half hour after the house is quiet and sleeping (and i should be sleeping) to read or take a bath or do something entirely alone, in complete quiet, it’s AMAZING. i also think that in this time and age of go go go, especially with the digital world doing just that but sometimes twice as fast, taking a break from your phone, social media, even your computer, is pretty bliss too. just a couple days away from instagram, while such a fun app and community to check in with often, can help you feel refreshed and reenergized and more present in your own life.
what have been some of your take aways for making motherhood each day easier on you?