flash forward moment.

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this sweet boy sat ever so still on saturday during a haircut.  while propped up on the big chair by a few pillows at the hair salon, there was no clutching of a choo choo train or a treat or even an iPad in his hands. he sat with his arms clasped in his lap, ever so calm, looking himself straight in the eye through the mirror as his hair dresser went to work.  like most things in our life, it was a davis family affair and we all stood around him kind of in awe, occasionally voicing praise for how well he was doing and sometimes helping him brush those clusters of loose hair away from his nose and lips before they made way inside his mouth.

it’s not often that samson will sit still for that long.  he is a spirited curious toddler who craves adventure more than anyone i know.  he’s always asking questions, wanting to hold or touch something and feels the need to be on the move pretty much always. he also likes to bug his big sister like it’s his job, and is impeccable at driving her nuts. because like i said before, full on toddler.

so for a moment there during this haircut where he didn’t seem to mind the loud scissor sound by his ear but rather was just crazy chill, i saw this flash forward to an older samson in the chair, later on in life. he looked eerily like my little seventeen year old brother, but also still like my little samson.  seeing a flash forward to an older boy, almost a man…. it was weird. and then all those thoughts come as i’m seeing this older version of him like, “gosh, i hope he’s a hard worker, a good learner… i hope he gets the door for his date and is clean and brave and still curious about everything. i hope he’s kind, doing well in school or work or whatever it is he’s doing. i hope his friends are good people. i hope he’s close to his big sister and little brother and God and us and i just hope he’s happy.”

it was a little bit stressful, that flash forward moment for me.

and then of course it was followed by that gut wrenching feeling of “samson, please don’t grow up and move away from home. ever.” while at the same time this super proud mama feeling of “samson, i cannot wait to watch what you do with your sweet life.” obviously, it made for a partly confusing, partly monumental moment in my little world of parenting.

i’m always hoping and praying i’m doing my part in prepping my three little ones for the big crazy world. of course there is room for improvement many days in many areas, but i’m already just so proud of them and the people they will become someday. because they are good people already, and it’s my greatest privilege to know them. and through a lot of trial and error on both mine and their part, i truly cannot wait to watch what they will do with their sweet little lives.

  1. Georgia

    I love that working hard is more important to you than intelligence. I’ve never raised a kid before, but I have a feeling that with that attitude, you’re on the right track.

  2. Teresa

    first off, he looks adorable! he’s such a handsome little boy and that haircut just suits him. I’m with you my friend… part of you wants to hold them tight and protect them from everything that’s out there but the other is just so happy to see the wonderful little man he’s becoming. Hang in there. I think all parents fee this way. What helps me is to focus on the good things and to not allow myself to think about all the bad that can potentially happen. xoxoxo

  3. Nanette

    this was so sweet. i know how you feel. i have those moments too, where you see them get older and hope that you’re doing everything you’re a great mom to all those beautiful kids you have. xo.

  4. hanna

    He looks so much older now! –Hanna Lei

  5. Kate

    Hi Naomi,

    This post reads very differently from your normal style of writing. Did you write it or did someone else write it?

    • TAZA

      i wrote every word of it! i write everything on my blog unless the post specifically says it’s a “guest post” of some sort.

  6. Melissa

    Love this! This is one of the things I wonder all of the time as we prepare to start a family of our own in the future… what type of people they will be when they grow up. You guys are doing a great job with your three children, it’s so evident in their huge smiles and curiosity and sweet gestures you describe in your posts. Keep going and have faith in all of your hard work!


  7. Oh my days, you gotta savour every single moment with your littles, they grow up so fast! Even in the top photo he looks like a teenager, so cute.


  8. He’s so adorable!I dont know how they grow so fast!

  9. Stephanie MacLeod

    Lovely post. I often have similar thoughts on my 2 little ones :) On another note….where can I get Samson’s t-shirt, I love it!!

    • TAZA

      It’s by my girlfriends clothing label, welkin NYC! I don’t think they are available online anymore but a few shops in brooklyn still carry them. :)

  10. Chelsea

    i love this post- possibly one of my favorites- only because I know that complicated feeling so well. The back and forth and the fear of the loss of such a magnetic time yet a desire to see them live out their beautiful hearts. Anyway- you worded it so perfectly, and I loved it!


  11. This is so so sweet – and he is beyond blessed to have a momma as mindful, patient, and insightful as you are. he will do great things and appreciate you laying a solid foundation of faith and love.

    Warm Regards,

  12. This is such a sweet expression of a parent’s emotional tug. When temper tantrums hit, I’m sure there are sentiments of ‘please just grow up.’ Whereas, in the stillness of a brief maturity, that innocence begs to be held forever. Nothing gets someone through these stages of life faster or slower; so may as well embrace the moment and keep them in the present, too.

    xx, leslie

  13. Emilie

    That was a beautiful post, and even though I do not have any kids, I can imagine the feeling(s!).
    I am sure all of your kids will be (stay!) awesome people, and they are lucky to have such loving and supportive parents.
    I love how you write so honest about both the easy and the hard parts of being a family and a parent. It makes me love your blog even more and it’s kind of relieving in this world of “Stepford Wives/Moms” blogs. You’re simply real and good! I wish you all the best.

  14. Erin

    This is so beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever commented on here (except that one time I really wanted to win a Sonnet James dress.. love those.), but I just have to today. I’m married, but not a mama yet. As much as I know I want to have kids someday – and I really, really do – sometimes it feels scary and intimidating. I know your family isn’t perfect, but what we get to read about you all on this blog is such an inspiration for me. Thank you for sharing pieces of your family with us. Reading things like what you wrote in this post make me so excited to be a mom someday, even during those weird, stressful moments.

  15. I also hope time slows down a little bit…I love seeing Samson’s toddler expressions, as well as his interactions with his older sister and little brother. Happy Monday :)

  16. I love this post, Naomi! What a beautiful moment. It’s those kind of moments that force us to gain perspective and realize the significance of life.

    Circus & Bloom

  17. vicky

    this makes me tear up. so sweet, Naomi. you have such an awesome little boy!

  18. You’re doing a great job : ) as long as you always are passionate about those things, he will be exactly that boy/man. Saying a prayer for your sweet boy now!

  19. Zanna

    This is such a sweet post about a pain/pleasure I know so well: trying to hang on to time as it swoops by!

    Its so funny that this moment happened in a haircutters chair…one of my aunts was telling me just the other day about going with her adult son for his pre-wedding haircut (as a way to squeeze in some quality time before the big day) and having a flash-back to all the stuggles to keep him still for haircuts as a kid and how many fights they had about his crazy styling choices (hair dyed green ect…) as a teenager…only to arrive here.

    Anyway, I found this to be a lovely post and just made me think of how mothers must experience flash-forwards and flash backs in equal number as the years fly by. Samsons new look is great!!


    • TAZA

      wow that’s crazy to think about! what a moment for your aunt before his big day, i’m sure! crazy to think about. thanks for sharing!

  20. You’re an amazing mom! Definitely prepping them perfectly ;)

  21. kiely

    this is so sweet! i was just thinking about this the other day. i was putting myself in my parents shoes at the moment when i told them i wanted to marry my fiancé. what a weird/sad/sweet/happy thing to hear from your oldest child. time goes by so fast doesn’t it?

    xo, k

  22. drea

    wonderful read! i don’t usually comment, but the honesty and poignancy of the moment was so vivid while reading it. as a mama of a spirited toddler (girl), I try to appreciate every dramatic moment. thanks for this post.

  23. Hayley

    My boys were both born days apart from your boys, and I had the same moment with my older son just last week! He was sick and wanted me to cuddle in bed with him and in his face I saw him as a teenager, so this post is so close to my heart! I just laid in his bed next to him crying because he seemed so big, and I am so proud of who he has and will become. Beautifully written in your style, as always :)

  24. marie

    We, mothers, always have this flash forward moments ans thoughts, don’t we? :) I do hope that my sons will continue to be brace, kind and curious when they’re older too. I think we, as parents, are the role models for our kids and they really look up to us in times of need and trouble, esp when they’re so young. That scares me sometimes as I’m still in my twenties and I’m still growing as a person. Well, hopefully my sons will know how much I love them and they mean to me.. :)


  25. marie

    Gosh to many typo errors! Lol. I meant moments AND thoughts, and brave kind and curious!

  26. What a sweet post! I’m already having those moments and my daughter is only 8 weeks old, gah!

  27. Carmel

    Oh I know that bitter-sweet feeling so well! Sometimes I am almost dying with curiosity to see what my children will become and then I swing just as quickly to just wishing that time could stand still. Life is a series of flashes with children, We go forwards and backwards, trying to remember every little detail of their lives so far, and as you so beautifully described, wishing for that crystal ball to see their future and try to head off any difficulties they may encounter. We do need reminders that they’re not going to stay little forever so thank you!

  28. Charlie

    One of the little boys I used to babysit turned ten years old last year and I’m still not over it. They grow up so fast ! It’s amazing to see their development along the way though. And what a beautiful son you’ve got !

    xx, Charlie.

  29. Dana

    he looks so much older in this picture.
    I dont have a chilf yet. But i understand your feelings. :-)
    enjoy every minute!


  30. Bruna

    He looks so grown up with that new haircut! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, always so valuable! And with you guys as parents, I’m sure they will turn out just fine! ;)



  31. ashley

    this post was exactly what i needed to read.
    i too live on the east coast (north of NY) and we have been hit SO hard with non stop snow. this winter with littles has been especially hard. im all about braving the cold but this has just been TOO cold. but lately being indoors all day with the kids leaves me wishing the time away, and i hate feeling that way. these toddler times are trying, but they go by so so fast.
    this was a nice reminder — and also thank you for being one of the few bloggers that continues to write about real life as opposed to non stop sponsored posts. ;) just throwing it out there!

  32. Madelyn

    This is a beautiful post, Taza! What a sweet moment, thank you for sharing!!

  33. Michelle

    Absolutely beautiful post, sums up being a mama completely. Love your blog and your insights into motherhood and family life. Thank you!

  34. Kristen

    oh, I completely identify with these feelings! My baby boy is 7 months old and sometimes I swear I can see him as a senior in high school, big and brave and so beautiful. It hurts a little bit! Thanks for sharing this sweet moment.

  35. Melissa

    i’m about to cry. Loved this! Thank you for sharing!

  36. Meryl

    Can’t express how much I related to this post of yours here. So much so, it made me tear up.It is so touching/exciting/scary/amazing when they show us what the future holds for them… and us. Great post!

  37. Faith

    Love this taza! My little one and Samson are around the same age, and I have also been experiencing the same ‘oh my gosh, where did my baby go’ moments like this. Its so amazing watching them grow, but so hard to stop those intrusive thoughts and worries about the future. I totally feel ya girl! ha Thanks for sharing. Your blog has always been inspiring to me, and your openness has helped me navigate through those sometimes unexpected adventures of mommyhood. Reading your posts are always such a treat:) I think you and josh are fantastic parents!

  38. Jill

    Maybe because I’m reading this during a middle of the night feeding, but big ol’ tears! What a lovely and relatable sentiment and what a privilege to be these kids mamas!

  39. Katie

    I’m so, so with you!

  40. carly

    This is definitely my favorite post so far! You did an amazing job putting all the mommy feelings into words. I have felt/thought the same things a million times as I watch my little one reach new milestones. Beautiful post!
    Dresses & Denim

  41. Nancy

    What a wonderful glimpse in a family moment. I still remember my daughter’s first haircut. Even after many years (and many haircuts), she gets the certain “look” when she is in the chair. I see that child every time.

  42. I don’t have any kids yet but this brought tears to my eyes (I think the idea of hoping to try for a family of our own within the next few months makes me kinda, sorta, crazy emotional). I can’t even begin to imagine the roller coaster of experiences and sentiments to come with having babies and watching them grow, but reading about that feeling of having to enjoy moments/flash backs/flash forwards/hoping that they are well/happy/good people, hurts my heart (in a good way) just to think about. This makes me incredibly happy to know that this and so much more are hopefully in store for the future.

    Thank you as always for sharing. <3

  43. Maria

    What beautiful words. I find that motherhood has been a constant roller coaster of contradicting emotions! This post made me hug my little boys a little longer than usual this morning. Thank you.

    Maria xx

  44. Suegnet

    Thank you for sharing such beautiful thoughts I truely hope I get to be a mom to a little person and get to share such special moments with them xx

  45. Emily F

    That is so weird. I literally posted about a moment just like this–during a haircut, no less–with my son last year! He was getting a haircut and as I watched him interact with the stylist on his own I swore I could see him as a man. It was an overwhelming feeling. (here’s the post, see I told you! http://emilyssomething.blogspot.com/2013/11/an-isaac-update-95-years.html )

  46. Lindsey

    Hi and greetings from West Virginia! My husband and I and our 3 children (ages 9, 5, and 22 months) were enjoying a “snow day” from work and school today. My husband and 5 year old daughter used your cookie recipe to bake us all a treat…let’s just say, we managed to eat through all by 3 cookies! What a wonderful recipe: who knew baking powder would make such a difference! Yum!

    By the way, I’ve been following your blog since I saw your FEED campaign ad: very enjoyable: it’s a great glimpse into city life! Stay warm :)!

  47. Kelly

    I saw the same thing in the face of my eight year old son recently.

  48. Kelly

    I saw the same thing in the face of my eight year old son recently. I had to snap out of it!