the three of us.

we are still adjusting to our new life in new york. for the most part, i think we are adjusting well. there are moments in the day with the littles where it’s complete chaos, but i think (or at least hope) that is to be expected with two children under the age of two. and we had those moments back in dc as well. so i don’t think i can blame them on our move exactly…
josh’s hours at the office are a bit more crazy than his hours in dc. he is traveling a bit more as well. so lately, it’s been just me and the little ones living life around here. and while i try to put on my “i’ve got this face” while i go about my life and motherly duties, i just want to state here and now, i’m exhausted. this is hard. and i’m exhausted (did i already say that part?) also, i tip my hat to all of you who parent alone or “solo-parent” far more than i do. i realize there are many people who don’t have others to help them or who work even longer hours or have even longer business trips or work back to back shifts…and goodness gracious – you are incredible!

my saving grace the last few weeks has been buckling both those sweet babes into their stroller and just getting out and walking. everywhere. all day. in-between naps, time at the playground, life in the apartment and all the errands that somehow never seem to go away… we just walk. and it feels good.
if the past few weeks in new york have taught me anything (besides the importance of investing in comfortable walking shoes), it’s how much i appreciate my husband. when he isn’t working long hours, he’s helping me here in the home. and i know he is just as exhausted as i am, which is why i appreciate it all the more.
when josh arrived home last night from a 2 day business trip, eleanor ran over and hugged and kissed him before we could even exchange hellos. my heart wanted to burst. and then she kissed him again! apparently she thinks it’s more fun around here when it’s the four of us, rather than three. i agree, sweet child. i agree. but we’ll keep on surviving our days and nights as just ‘us three’ when papa is away. and i’m confident we’ll survive them. and they’ll get easier?
  1. Carrie

    Thanks for such an honest post – I definitely know how it is to have a husband on business trips, it can be such a lonely time! But I have to second what a few others have mentioned about mom groups. I found one where I live on meetup.com, and if it wasn't for my momma + toddler friends on those long days while my husband was away, I don't know what I'd do! You're an amazing (and inspiring!) mom. <3

  2. smina

    Sweetest post you have posted Naomi. I adore the hard work you put into your life, your children and your marriage. It is really encouraging. Thank you.

  3. I Lelli

    I travel for work and Cesy takes care off Leo alone. I know what it means, how many energy it requires. Also for this reason I can't stop to loving you … moms!!

    A big hug. Daddy Lele from Lelli italian family

  4. You're my favorite little family ever. I hope Josh's travel lets up a bit soon! In the meantime, I can't imagine anything better than walking up and down The City in gorgeous autumn air. Sending all my love your way for some easier days :)

    <3 Josephine
    http://www.champagnestar.com

  5. You're my favorite little family ever. I hope Josh's travel lets up a bit soon! In the meantime, I can't imagine anything better than walking up and down The City in gorgeous autumn air. Sending all my love your way for some easier days :)

    <3 Josephine
    http://www.champagnestar.com

  6. My mother was a single parent and raised my sister and I by herself. I am so amazed and blessed to have been parented by one of the strongest women in the world. I know you aren't raising these littles by yourself, but more power to you through these stints where you are solo while Josh works. You can get through! If my mom could do it so can you! Blessings to your family!
    ~Anna Lee McFadden

  7. This is such a sweet post and I love that Eleanor got so excited when her daddy came back home. Sounds like its hard but you guys are doing great.

    Collections

  8. i can imagine you guys missing the husband much, but it's great that you see the good in the situation and it seems like you are managing well.
    walking is so good to de-stress the mind! You are the cutest family.

  9. Teresa

    I am going thru the same exact thing(except I have one babe) I feel your pain ;)

  10. thanks for keeping it real! i was going to write about how i am in a similar situation, but looks like so is everyone else that commented! sometimes it helps to know there are others who can relate, whether you know them are not.

  11. superava

    I have to be honest, I am so glad you posted this. I have a little one just a month or so younger than E. Sometimes I have a tiring day with my little and I go to your blog and think, how does she do it? You and your kids always look so put-together, there is no food all over their faces, and they always look happy and well behaved at restaurants. Amazing!
    It's actually sort of comforting to know that you get exhausted. Because, gosh, I am tired and I just have the one! Good luck to you. You have every weary mom standing right beside you.

  12. my hats off to you! parenting is tough business with super sweet rewards but that doesn't make it any less exhausting :). however, i love your positive attitude. hang in there because it can only get easier.

  13. praying for you to stay strong and be the best mommy you can be despite josh's hectic work schedule now. :)

  14. Love this. I'm home with my kiddies (including a 3-month old) while my husband travels with his firm. Thank goodness for bright NARS lipstick and micro naps to help ward off the vague feeling of constantly being slightly out of control.

    Have you ever read Maternal Desire, or Simplicity Parenting? Both have inspired and interested me with new babies.

  15. I couldn't agree with you more! i only have one little baba and already it is super hectic when my hubs works late nights, early mornings and traveling for days on end… After a long day with kiddies, you need some sort of relief! Well done on being an incredible mom in the big city!
    x

  16. Such sweet pictures of you and your babies! I don't have children yet but can relate to a hubby that works long hours and it actually does scare me for when we have kids. I know we'll manage and he'll always make time when we have children but it worries me that it'll be a struggle. Hopefully it'll get easier soon!

  17. MK

    I can totally relate and you will get through it! When we lived in the city my husband worked such long hours. He didn't come home many nights and sometimes a good night was 3am. We are opposite from you in that we just moved to the DC area with our 18 month old daughter, and while I love the better hours for my husband, I miss the city like crazy!! It is the BEST for kids. So many amazing things for them to see and experience. Not sure where you guys are living but the Children's Museum on 83rd st on the UWS was a life saver for me… especially in the winter! And the public libraries make awesome outings as well. Good luck and enjoy! :)

  18. Megan

    Maybe it's time to search for a part-time nanny?

  19. I feel for you! Just having one little one is alot of work for us! We just moved to Brooklyn from DC, similar to you all. I actually joined a mommy group when I moved here and it helped tremendously with resources etc. Also meeting other moms in the park and playgrounds helps too. I do remember walking quite a bit when I first had my little girl, which helped. Hands down being a mom is very tough job, esp when our husbands are working alot in the city! Hang in there ;+) I hope it gets easier as well.

    ohlemonpickles.blogspot.com

  20. Melanie

    Thanks for being honest about how hard parenting can be. Your family and blog posts are beautiful (and I love following along), but it's nice to see you express some vulnerability. Thank you. Signed, another exhausted momma

  21. You're doing an awesome job Naomi. :) It's much healthier to admit when you're struggling than to pretend everything is fine.

    Have you thought about finding some local Mom's groups? When we moved internationally I joined meetup.com and found a few great groups in my area, there was always some fun activity scheduled and everyone was in the same boat I was, trying to meet new people and make friends for their little ones. It really saved my sanity to have other parents to hang out with during the day, and have at least a couple of activities per week to look forward to.

    Best of luck, you're keeping a great positive attitude and that is half the battle won. :)

  22. Samantha

    I completely get how tough it can be on your own. My husband travels all the time too. Even though, I mostly do everything any way, it's still nice when he is home in the evenings. I'm so ready for another one, especially when I see how cute Eleanor and Samson are, but it makes me nervous that it would be too hard.

  23. Ashley

    So extremely gorgeous, I have followed your blog for so long!! These precious moments are incredible! We just found out we are having a girl and I cant wait for this. http://bpbun.blogspot.com/

  24. Shannon

    you're doing great!

  25. Julia

    it does get easier! Just tonight we roasted marshmallows. the kids played together while my husband I talked. I realized we have exited the crazy stage of parenting. (my two are 20 months apart and my husband travels…) they are now 3 and almost 5.

  26. I read this yesterday and have not been able to stop thinking about the compromises and sacrifices you have made as a wife and mother. And it made me think about my own mother. My mom had me and then 18 months later had my brother (similar to E and Samson). My father was a lawyer and worked long/chaotic hours like your husband. Unfortunately my mother didn't blog about her experiences with us – but this post gave light to how they must have felt.
    Thank you for that. I called home today just to tell them thank you and that I loved them :)

    Thanks for the little inspirations!

    -Marissa

    sandalsandbowties.wordpress.com

  27. I can't imagine being a parent in Manhattan, much less a sometimes solo parent. When I lived in NY, I occasionally watched my friend's three kids so that she and her husband could go out for a date, and just thinking of the logistics…the triple stroller to fit all three of them, planning city adventures based on which subway stops have elevators…oy. Major kudos to you.

  28. KMB

    Love those Cybil flats! Thanks!

  29. Krista

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  30. Jennifer

    Your family has so much love. I adore it. I know I would be exhausted, too.

  31. Bianca

    I take my hat of to you. I have a 6 year old and a 1 year old, my husband works nights and I struggle some days. How you do it with two tiny ones in a big city like yours I don't know? but your doing so great! Those are two very happy smiley little people.They look at you with so much love I can see it in all your pictures. you have a blessed family enjoy :)

  32. Super cute!! Do you know when Kingsley will be able to join you or is gonna stay at your family's a little longer? I really like the name Eleanor :)

  33. They surely will!!!
    my husband was away for work when Dahlia was just 3 months old for the following 6 months. I know how exhausting it can be… but also how satisfying.

    you're doing great! Hold on and take care!

    Ale and Dahlia from Italy

  34. Tara

    What a beautiful, honest post. It is hard with two small kids, and I don't know how you're doing it in NYC! the baby will get older and so will Eleanor and it will get easier.

  35. Laura

    I'm not one to normally comment, but I wanted to thank you for writing this post. My husband recently started a full time MBA program and we've gone from spending a lot of time together to nearly no time at all. Since it's a new area and I'm currently looking for a job, I don't really know anyone and it gets old really fast! I don't have any children right now, but I still appreciated reading about someone kind of going through the same thing…..so thanks. :)

  36. Makismom

    One thing I can say as a single mom is, you never know how strong you can really be until you have to be. You have an adorable family…and you do an awesome job at making them a priority. Thanks for your posting, really enjoy reading your blog stories.

  37. MK Fihan

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  38. it's crazy fun isn't it? i have 1 year old twins and a 2.5 year old and a husband who travels a lot… so, i know what you mean about being tired and about just surviving… but, there is always fun to be had a long the way. i posted this quote the other day: From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
    -Dr. Suess
    it is true. even in the midst of "hard" and exhaustion, there are funny things to enjoy and fun to be had.
    hang in there!
    and, yes, it will get easier… at least that is what i chose to believe :-)

  39. Shifra

    I've never commented before but this really made me think back to when I also had 2 under 2 and a husband lawyer also working those crazy hours in NYC. My kids are now 4 and 5 and we got thru it :) I remember walking around the block a zillion times just to get some sanity, too, and get out of the apt… I now I look back and miss it a bit!

  40. Naomi, your positivity is inspiring! I'm curious, what good city-walking shoes did you find for New York? I'm getting ready to serve a mission in Spain, and I'd love your shoe advice! I hope the best for you and your family in NYC!

  41. R and M

    I get scared when my husband is gone because I'm a baby. He was gone this last week from Sunday to Wednesday and I SO appreciate his help now that he is back (and not having to check my closets every night).

  42. R and M

    I get scared when my husband is gone. He was gone this last week from Sunday to Wednesday and I so appreciate his help now that he is back (and not having to check my closets every night).

  43. I don't usually post, just read, but this is something that is dear to me and I have been talking to lots of people about lately.
    It doesn't get easier, but your heart can change.
    I posted about it here…which is easier than writing it all for you. http://truthfindsgrace.blogspot.com/2012/09/how-is-it-done.html
    hope you are encouraged!
    joanna