the other day josh was telling me how his favorite time with eleanor is when she’s asleep. and i thought, “gasp! how rude!” but he kept telling me that nothing tops how sweet she looks when she’s curled up sleeping peacefully beside one of us or in our arms.
today, she was playing with a few toys beside me while i was on the computer and then i glanced over and saw my little bebe all passed out. it’s true what my husband has been trying to tell me. she really is the most beautiful thing in the world when she’s sleeping. but i also think she’s the most beautiful thing in the world awake as well…. i mean, even when she’s fussy, she’s kind of adorable. ;)
the other day i had my first “claustrophobic” moment as a mother. i’m embarrassed to even admit that and i’m not sure if that is what i should even call it… but it hit me the other day how life isn’t carefree anymore. not that it ever was carefree exactly, but that spontaneity of deciding to catch a late night movie with josh or heading out for a manicure… it’s different now. there is this little one here, for whom i am responsible, who requires attention and love and diaper changes and play time and silly voices and bouncing and a half hour just to prep and pack before leaving the house to grab one item at the grocery store, etc etc. that’s not to say all the fun times are over… in fact, i cherish spending these moments with eleanor, and i think i’ve had more fun in the last 5 months with my little family than ever before… and i can’t think of a time in my life when i was more happy and in love with my husband and confident in my own self than right now. but this claustrophobic moment, it really surprised me. and it scared me just a little, too. it’s a funny thing though, because it only took one little glance over in eleanor’s direction to remind myself just how good i have it. perhaps catching a late night movie last minute with my love isn’t in the cards for us right now, but there is always netflix and homemade popcorn in bed once the baby is asleep… and to be honest, that’s just as wonderful in my book.
oh this thing called motherhood! where you just gawk and aww over your little one and want to profess to the world every .7 seconds just how amazing this little human being is and how you never thought a little 15 pound munchkin could steal your heart so…
  1. I'm jealous of you for having such a sweet little baby!

  2. I appreciate your honesty here. These children are beautiful gifts, but do require lots of work and sacrifice. I've got six, myself.

  3. I'm a new mom too and have had those moments and there is nothing to be embarrassed about! We are only human right? You seem to be handling the change of motherhood beautifully and appear to be so in love with your babe. It's all good!

  4. Oh, hi it's me again. I just keep coming back to see these pictures of your adorable baby girl. She looks so precious in your big bed!!

  5. Kat

    The nice thing about the parenting claustrophobia is that when you DO get a chance to do something, you take it… and you're better at recognizing the chances. I think I've done more interesting things since my daughter was born than I did before.

  6. meg

    how sweet!!

  7. What a great post! And she really is so beautiful! I know that it will be a huge change when my husband and I have our first but at that same time, I think it will be the most wonderful thing in the world. You are a wonderful example of a down to earth, happy, and positive mom :).

  8. Gorgeous. It's totally normal to feel things like that, I do and have learned to give myself a break. My mom takes care of my son a day a week so I can do "my stuff." I come back, missing him, accomplished and semi rejuvenated!

  9. Jisus

    I have to agree with your husband. I love it when my 5 month old is sleeping too. So peaceful. And it's quite cute when he starts laughing or smiling while he sleeps.

  10. minta

    Thank you for sharing this, I'm due in 1 month. It is so nice to hear someone else's experience to prepare me for what mine might be like. It brought tears to my eyes.

  11. Whitney

    So cute! I agree…she's beautiful asleep. And it definitely doesn't help that she has those baby dolls lips.

  12. janis

    These photos are just gorgeous. I love all the white. It's nice to hear about the feelings new moms go through – I'm sure it's comforting to a lot of new moms!

  13. oh, she's absolutely precious!

  14. He & Me

    beautiful. i can't wait to be a mother!

  15. hannah

    very well put! Not sure if you read every comment, but your blog has been inspiring me as of late (well, ever since your little one was born)…my husband and I are waiting another year or so to have a baby, but what you just wrote in this post helped put a lot of my anxiety over "losing my freedom" to motherhood.. :) Love your blog. so glad I found it! -hannah

  16. Rinda


    your words about being "claustrophobic" really helped me out. I just had a baby a week and a half ago and every now and then i have a slight panic attack about how different my life will be from here on out. knowing that my daughter is worth every sacrifice makes those moments pass by quickly, but it's nice to know someone else feels that way now and again too.

  17. Ooooh she's such a cutie patootie!! I just love that 2nd picture of her all cuddled up snug as a bug. Such chubby, cute little cheeks! :)

  18. You are the cutest mother ever! And I am so glad to hear someone so cute and happy has moments like that.

  19. I agree, it is all worth it and there is nothing more precious than a sleeping baby..