the first month of being a mother.

eleanor and me. and the first time i held her.
i have learned so many things this past month as i’ve become a mother. i’ve learned a lot about babies. i’ve learned a lot about my own specific baby girl and her signals and signs. i’ve learned that it’s ok to let other people help you… even if you *think* you can do it all on your own (which you can’t, by the way. and if you can, then you’re superwoman and i want to meet you.) i’ve learned a lot about myself, too. and how to function on little sleep (kind of) and type with one hand (kind of, again). i’ve learned how to bounce a fussy baby to sleep with one arm while taking care of chores or kingsley with the other. i’ve learned how to let some things go and just sit beside my baby and take it all in. i’ve learned a whole lot about a love, too.
if i could go back and tell myself a few things before baby eleanor showed up, i’d shout from the roof top that “THEY AREN’T KIDDING WHEN THEY SAY TO SLEEP AS MUCH AS YOU CAN NOW….” because i really thought they were kidding. how hard could it be to lose a few hours of sleep here and there? and what was i thinking when i was thinking “a few…”?
i’d tell myself to forgo anything in the newborn size and just start buying clothing for a 3 month old. between it all shrinking on the first prewash, eleanor not being anywhere near 6 lbs like my doctor estimated and all of our naked baby time, all that newborn stuff was never really worn.
i heard it a million times. to trust your instincts over the things you read and hear. but i felt like i’d be so unprepared if i didn’t read everything out there on babies or pick every mothers brain as much as i could. i’ve certainly learned to trust myself and do what i think works best for E and me. and i’m really thankful for that.
i’d also tell myself to relax just a little during this first month. i call my mother far too often starting the conversation off with “mom, is this normal….?” or “what do i do if…” or “ahhhhh!” everyone will be ok and everything is just fine.
i don’t think i would have believed myself though if i would have told myself just how much bigger my heart would get for another person. i already loved life, my family and close friends, my little monster of a bulldog and my dear husband. i even loved my pregnant belly. but after meeting my baby girl, and then spending practically every second of this last month by her side, i can’t even begin to tell you the kind of love i feel for her. it’s just different. it’s constantly growing. and it’s absolutely wonderful.
  1. Sini

    Sweet post, and I love that picture. So amazing. I hope to feel that someday too, have the pregnant belly and become a mom. My biggest fear from this life is that it wouldn't ever happen.

  2. Aly

    I agree with all of this except the newborn clothes. My little girl will be 1 month on thursday and we are still in preemie diapers. I will gladly take those new born clothes off your hands :) haha

  3. Great words…when my babygirl showed up I was thinking the same about this special kind of love. Normally you have to know someone a while to love him/her but when it comes to hold your own child, the love is suddenly there and just can become bigger and bigger!

    All the best to you…

    Penny
    http://fabulousimpressions.blogspot.com

  4. Eleanor has the sweetest cheeks! Congratulations on savoring these tender moments with your sweetpea. I am sure you are a wonderful mother.

  5. Lela

    Aw, congratulations! This was so sweet.

    Lela London – Fashion Blog

  6. Yulia

    I remember thinking when my son was 1 month old" "it'd give up all of his naps during the day if only he could sleep from 7pm to 7am every night…" It drove me insane. Hang in there! It lasted longet for me, but they say babies being sleeping through the night at around 12 months. Only 11 more to go :(

  7. I love all of your thought on motherhood. I am trying to tuck some of them away in my mind for whenever my day comes… :)

  8. Eleanor is a very lucky baby girl!!

  9. the best love ever~ so beautiful..

  10. wonderful, isn't it?! i was scared to have #2 because i thought i couldn't possible love another as much… but guess what? i happened again! motherhood is awesome. :)

  11. Rachael

    I can't believe it's been a month for you already!
    Wow, time sure goes by fast!
    Love what you said in your post!
    It's so wonderful that you're sharing this journey with us!

  12. So sweet. Congratulations all over again.

  13. Beautifully put.

    I felt the same way right after I had Sadie. I couldn't believe that I had "thought" I was prepared and knew everything. In the first week, I realized I had known nothing. But you learn, and it's beautiful.

  14. Rachel

    This is so sweet. And kind of nice for me to hear..though I guess a lot of things don't really sink in until you actually have a baby!

  15. I just stumbled across your blog and I have enjoyed so much reading it so much. Even though I'm not close to becoming a mom anytime soon reading your sweet posts makes me really excited about it.

  16. Beautiful baby and wonderful Mommy! Special little pictures!
    How's that Kingsley??? ;)

    Beth

  17. such beautiful words, naomi. thanks for sharing. i cannot even imagine the range of emotions you experience in a 1 year time frame – those 9 months leading up to the birth and then the new mother experience. wow.
    xo

  18. katou

    I looooove this picture congrats for the little pumkin it's a real blessing i wish you and your beautiful babay a lot of laughter, peace and joy!!!
    http://insidekatouscloset.blogspot.com/

  19. katou

    I looooove this picture congrats for the little pumkin it's a real blessing i wish you and your beautiful babay a lot of laughter, peace and joy!!!
    http://insidekatouscloset.blogspot.com/

  20. katou

    I looooove this picture congrats for the little pumkin it's a real blessing i wish you and your beautiful babay a lot of laughter, peace and joy!!!
    http://insidekatouscloset.blogspot.com/

  21. katou

    I looooove this picture congrats for the little pumkin it's a real blessing i wish you and your beautiful babay a lot of laughter, peace and joy!!!
    http://insidekatouscloset.blogspot.com/

  22. love this post. love the photo. you're a mother!!! still can't believe it.

  23. PeBu

    Beautiful photo? Are you going to post Eleanor's birth story?

  24. Samara

    What an angel. I have a little girl who is 2. And people were always giving me unsolicited advice – I definitely believe in every parent trusting their instincts and defining your own normal.

    Your heart really does grow bigger. Loving a child is where you can truely experience having total and all consuming unconditional love for someone. It's an amazing experience.

  25. Berni

    I'm new to your blog and I just wanted to say congratulations!! Your baby girl is so beautiful :) You have a lovely family. And what a sweet post. Congratulations again!

  26. kym

    Nothing can prepare you for the LOVE and the exhaustion. But in the end, the exhaustion fades and the LOVE grows even more. 1,000 kisses a day just dont suffice on your little one. Enjoy this time, before you know it, you'll crave another newborn.
    Great post and lovely picture. El's head fits perfectly on your shoulder. As it should.

  27. I've been out of the blogosphere for a while & have only just dipped back in, so CONGRATULATioNS on baby Eleanor! xox

  28. This was SUCH a sweet post and that is a beautiful photo of you two. :)

  29. Marie

    This is a beautiful post. Your words express so much love.

    Yes, even if we hear something a million times nothing prepares you to when reality kicks in. The lack of sleep, cleaning, bathing, feeding, entertaining blah blah blah… It's hard! It is. But something that people repeat and you just don't get until you become a mamma is exactly that…
    It's a hard experience but when you get a calm moment, baby sleeping, or just hanging around laughing OH MY LORD! It makes everything worth while.

    I can't see my life not being a mamma now a days.
    And i'm sure you can't either right?
    Congrats on that gorgeous baby and god bless her.

  30. bethani

    all i can say is awwwww, how sweet the two of you are.

    its been so much fun watching her moments this first month.. cheers to many more.

  31. Lara

    I love this post – there is SO much truth to everything you've said! I especially liked the part about sleeping as much as you can before baby is born (and after – sleep while baby is sleeping!!). I have 8 month old twins and I was on bedrest for 10 weeks before – so I got lots of sleep. I just wish I would have been able to bottle up that sleep to use when babies were born!!

    I love the picture of you and E. So beautiful!!

  32. I feel like this picture just shows that you two belong together.

  33. Your blog is always a joy to read. However, now that we are patiently waiting for our first bubba to arrive, I find I absorb your eloquent words. They are most comforting. What a precious gift you have. Thank you, Naomi.

    P.S. Yes, I hear you. Off to have a Nanna nap. Immediately. Bless xx

  34. You are the most lovely person. I'm so happy to have found your blog, it brings so much happiness and hope to me!

  35. Natalie

    That photo is beautiful. One to be cherished and save forever. Congratulations, she is adorable.

  36. jenny

    oh so true. so true. Its crazy how much our hearts grow when we open them up for little ones. and i think its just going to keep on getting better and better.

  37. Auriane

    Wow ! This text is great, and so moving. Thanks for sharing it with us.

    A french fan

  38. It really is the LOVE that gets you. I've never loved anyone or anything the way I love my daughter. Like 'I will fight a dinosaur for you and die in the process if I have to' kind of love. Now I'm kind of used to it, but at the beginning, it constantly surprised me.

  39. tRiSh

    This is so nice of you for sharing all this: all I'm wishing you is all the best in the world for this new life. It's already started pretty well =)

  40. This post has made my excited to become a mother one day. x

  41. Em

    The photo says so much. Beautiful!

  42. so nice to hear your thoughts on the first month of motherhood! and so glad that you're doing well (as the first few months can be so rough for some). yay love & babies!

  43. eek less sleep than I already get now?

  44. Kristen

    this post just gave me chills. thank you for that.

    k

  45. LJ

    congrats. congrats. congrats! A pic worth 1,000 words.

  46. this is a beautiful, beautiful post, so endearing. makes me stoked to be a mother one day…
    enjoy everything about the coming months! xo.

  47. this is a beautiful, beautiful post, so endearing. makes me stoked to be a mother one day…
    enjoy everything about the coming months! xo.

  48. Such a beautiful post. I hope you printed it out and put it in Eleanor's baby book! Wishing you and your lovely family all the very best.

  49. this was absolutely wonderful to read. i'm due in a month with my first and i loved this post as well as all of the mommy posts. thank you soo much. your little girl is beautiful and you look fabulous as well!

  50. kwistin

    this is honestly one of my favorite posts you've written.

    it's so honest and so real in talking about how difficult some adjustments can be — yet in the end, you know that it's all worth it in the face of that sweet little baby.

    what a blessing!

  51. Ana*

    I am a college student who has no idea if she wants to be a mother someday, but oh boy! I enjoyed reading this post a (lot)

  52. I understand exactly what you mean…After I had my 16 month old, I told my mother…I never knew you loved me this much…and its true!

  53. Anna

    I loved reading this post. So honest and some practical tips. At 12 weeks pregnant, I appreciate these tips and will be taking them to heart.

  54. Qyellz

    Feels like this post was written about my situation :)
    Everything the same, every little thing :)
    Especially " pick every mothers brain as much as i could" :D

    But, now, we are 2,5 months old :) and now is much more easier,than i was right after my doughter Birthday :)

  55. well said, sister!