two pieces of my heart, at ten weeks.

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ten weeks. where they coo at you, sleep for slightly longer stretches in the night (slightly being key here), and occasionally catch your eye to smile so wide at you– you forget all the pain your body ever endured bringing them into this world. ten weeks. with arms and legs getting cute little baby rolls as they start to fill out and when the sound of your voice registers in a special way that can calm tears by just saying, “mama’s here.” it’s a sweet spot for sure in the stretch that is this newborn madness.

the love each of my children has allowed me to feel is difficult to express. and the way it grows and continues to grow, with every passing day, is something i’m surprised by when i stop to think about it long enough. i loved you so much the moment i met you, or held you, or kissed your chubby cheek for the very first time. it wasn’t possible to imagine a greater amount of love there. but then the next day comes. and the week after that. the first birthday, first steps, first day of school and all of life after that. and that love that was so great in that first moment of being acquainted– it’s somehow greater now. it seriously has me asking “what is life!!!!?!?!?!?” when i really try to fathom it. it’s just weird. and crazy. and totally fitting. it just makes sense even if i’m making absolutely no sense right now trying to artiulate this.

i was changing two diapers and dressing two babies on my bed yesterday morning when eleanor opened my bedroom door and walked in. “hi mama!” she said with her pony tail bouncing through the back of her baseball cap. her shirt was covered in sweat and she had the biggest smile across her face. it was still early in the morning, and she’d just been at tennis lessons. “papa dropped me off downstairs and let me come up with his keys! he took the boys to get bagels down the street.” she was very proud of herself that she’d let herself in all on her own. “are you surprised to see just me?” and i was. but she looked so old and mature and basically like a teenager that it wasn’t so surprising at the same time. who knows where we’ll be when my kids are old enough to be coming and going on their own, but i suddenly had this flash forward vision of it all happening… of them coming through my bedroom door to say hello and then leaving through that same door out into the world with their own set of apartment keys. taller versions of them, grown versions. to be honest, it was kind of terrifying to walk through in my head. it’s just hard to acknowledge sometimes how quickly it all goes by. how these baby girls are ten weeks old already, how they’ll be sitting up and eating solids before i know it and on to crawling and talking and then basically wandering into my bedroom with a set of keys looking more grown than when they’d left an hour or two before.

all i can do is try to savor the time now. and prep them to be the best versions of themselves for when they do leave this little apartment nest and wander out that door and come and go as life would have it. and i start to think, am i crazy?! as i find myself praying on occasion for the people i myself have never even met yet but who will be instrumental in my childrens’ lives in the future: friends, teachers, love interests (oh gosh, writing this publicly is making me think i am crazy!). but it’s like, “heavenly father, i’m trying here and prepping them to be good people. please have them find other good people.”

i remember hearing this quote once about how being a mother means you have decided forever to have pieces of your heart walking around outside of your body. and i so feel that. and it’s a given to know each of my five little ones will go through difficult things, their own hard moments, heart break, hurt…  it’s selfish to say but sometimes i wish i could keep them ten weeks old forever. in my arms. safe. warm. loved.  at the same time, loving them means allowing them to grow. and eventually, grow up.  fortunately, my oldest is only seven and a half. HA! thank goodness! i still get to blink a couple of more times before we’re giving eleanor her very own set of apartment keys and holding our breath while she’s off on her own.

and these baby girls, our littlest. hopefully by the time they are walking out of mama’s bedroom door and into the world, they’ll have three other examples from their older siblings to look to in the best of ways. and those older three will look out for them when they are all out there together, outside of mama’s arms and home. it’s the one piece in this entire thought process that leaves me feeling confident sending pieces of my heart out into the world… that those pieces of heart will love each other so much, they’ll take care of one another, love and protect one another when i can’t be there to do the loving and protecting.

GAH. i have to just stop now and go find some cookies before i think about this anymore. but ten weeks. ten weeks! this really is a sweet spot in this motherhood ride and i’m thankful to be experiencing it once again. i love them so much.  all five of them. my davis five!;) my five biggest blessings. my loves.

  1. Lindsay

    This post is one of my favorite things I’ve ever read on your blog. Your caring and tenderness toward all of your children is inspirational to me, as someone who’s always wanted to be a mom but isn’t quite there yet. I also don’t think it’s crazy, at all, to pray for the people who will impact your children’s lives to be good ones – it’s really amazingly thoughtful. Anyway, I’ve rambled enough. Thank you for sharing these beautiful words.

  2. Natali

    All I can say… WOW! I’m a mom of one and most possibly that will be my only child for forever but oh wow, you’re such an inspiration!!! Such a goddess mom or something, I truly admire you!

  3. Jen

    it’s so true. i haven’t in awhile but i have thought about my two all grown and i often pray about the people in their future lives too. parenthood is so surreal all the time!

    The Emerald Girl

  4. Kimberly

    This was such a beautiful post!

    As a first time mom I have been praying for my daughter’s future husband since I found out we were expecting a girl. I pray for his parents to give them wisdom and strength as they raise him. I pray they have patience and give him so much love.

    My parents prayed consistently since I was a little girl for my husband and I truly believe it helped shape the amazing husband I have today!

    So keep praying!

    Beautiful post, thank you for putting into words the thoughts that have been going through my head constantly.

  5. Luci

    This is SUCH a beautiful post. You are an amazing mama <3

  6. Sue

    Do you wear prescription glasses?

  7. Carolyn

    I can’t even imagine what it’s like to have pieces of your heart walking around outside of you! To love that complete is terrifying and so courageous. Thanks for writing this post!

  8. Kellie

    This is hands-down the best post you’ve ever written. Gotten this mama in all the feelings! Praying for these very things for all your babies.

  9. Julie

    I loved this post! And I just welcomed baby #5 two weeks ago, so I can relate so much to your experiences. (Except we have no twins in our fam.)
    I also pray for those we have not met yet with the hope they are being raised in love.

    I am new to reading your blog- have you ever written a post about your birth stories? I work as a childbirth educator and always love hearing/reading birth stories…

    Thank you for all that you share, I truly enjoy your blog.

  10. Hannah

    Totally agree, having children is basically letting your heart run around outside of your body. There is no greater role!

  11. Jess

    This post made me feel all the feelings!! So lovely, thank you for giving us a little piece of yourself by writing it.

  12. Lacey

    I relate so much to this! 💛

  13. Amy V

    My son is only 16 months but already I can sense how quickly time is passing and how exponentially my love for him grows when it didn’t seem possible it could grow any more!

  14. A

    You are such an amazing writer and mom. This post was just beautiful and nostalgic and so so so so loving. Thank you for your blog posts and thank you for sharing your life and thoughts with us

  15. Michelle

    I loved hearing your thoughts in this post, they are so endearing! It reminds me of the quote by Boyd K. Packer that says, “There are few things more powerful than the prayers of a righteous mother”. It is easy to see that you were MADE for motherhood! Be proud of yourself and all you’ve accomplished so far, you’re doing AMAZING! You’ve got this mama!

  16. Kenz

    This is probably one of my favorite of your posts. Probably hard to share, but so real and poigant and tender. Your insights on motherhood are beautiful and how you value the important things for your children. Love this SO much gah.
    xx God bless ♥️

  17. Tara

    My third is only just 6months old, I completely get what you are saying, it’s scary to think of them grown up, and I just pray I can equip them to do their best in this life. Reading this post I had tears streaming down my cheeks! 💕 Thankyou for your insights x

  18. Rachael

    Parenthood is so bittersweet and you capture it perfectly here. At the same time wanting to freeze them exactly as they are, finding immeasurable joy in watching them grow, and nostalgia forever for what they once were. It’s so mind and heart expanding.

  19. Lauren

    Sweetest ever! Totally curious how this works with twins…at night, do they happen to wake up at the same time? Or different times so you never sleep?

  20. Jessica Algrim

    I’m usually don’t read blogs, or maybe I quickly give them a glance but when I see you post one. I’m all hears (or to say all eyes) I absolutely loved this post. Having 3 of my own, reading each word and seeing my littles in the door way, having the oldest two be the best example for our littlest. You definitely have a way with words! Brought me to tears just the thought. Thank you for sharing- I enjoy every post!

  21. bridget

    oh dear heart.
    naomi, this is so poetic & just what i needed to read tonight.

  22. Rena

    You are definitely a wonderful mom! Thanks for this heart-warming post. <3 All the best to all of you!
    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena

  23. Thank you for your words! I want the same for my kids!

  24. These two pieces of your heart are so cute.At 10 weeks they are so active and they both looks so adaptive too as the way they are looking at you.

  25. Joan

    My mom used to pray for my future husband, long before I was at an age to date. She prayed that God would be forming his heart and He was forming mine. And I must say, I ended up with a pretty awesome guy xo

  26. Ashley

    I’ve never commented on your blog before but I have to let you know this is my favorite post you’ve ever written. So beautiful and genuine and heartfelt. You’ve gotten me excited to be a mom one day. Thanks and much love to your family!

  27. Mary

    Definitely pray for the people in your children’s life. I remember being in a moms prayer group many years ago when my friend started praying for a Godly spouse for her daughter. The child was in 4th grade! But I knew my friend was faithful and wise and I too began praying for faith-filled spouses for my children. My daughter and son each were married last year at the ages of 28 and 30, respectively. They married wonderful, Godly spouses. My youngest son is dating a faith-filled woman as well. My friend’s children also married strong men of faith. God is so good and so faithful. You are not crazy. Keep praying!

  28. Alida

    Oh Josh should be more responsible with the apartment keys, doing that to a Mama’s heart! But it’s absolute the best idea to pray for your children’s future & protection!

  29. Dawn Litke

    OMG I feel as if you post was reflecting my life! Having six children of our own I have lived this! It’s so awesome yet stressful when they are little, but when it’s time to send them into the world it’s a whole new definition of stress! It’s happens so quickly and right before our eyes! Continue enjoying every second because that day will come way to fast! Love all of you guys and I truly enjoy reading your posts and following you on Instagram! I feel as if I can so relate to you!!!

  30. Kelly

    They are so gorgeous and I love your littles- all five of them!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  31. Pingback: all i can do is try to savor the time now |

  32. Naomi

    I love that one looks so much like Samson and the other like Eleanor… strong Davis genes there! Xxx

  33. Adrienne

    I was just talking to my mom this morning as I sent me oldest 2 off to their first day at a new school about how when my kids were babies, it was so physically exhausting (still is bc I still have 2 at home all day) but as they get older it is emotionally exhausting! It is hard to imagine the hard times they will face and I just pray that I’m raising them to be kind, good people despite it all. I told my oldest last week as we were talking about school starting and I said “there will be mean kids but there are more kind kids than there are mean ones. just remember to be one of the kind ones.” Someone told me once that they always prayed that if their kids need to be humbled that they be ‘humbled gently’ and I love that. Not that there won’t be times where realizations about themselves are rude and abrupt, but I hope that many of the lessons they learn, are taught in a more gentle way! Maybe thats crazy. Parenting is the hardest thing ever. But it is comforting to know, like you said, that they will have each other and that they have a heavenly father who is aware of them and what they need and knows the bigger picture for them. He is helping us too. Thanks for sharing!

  34. Adèle

    Congratulations on your little girls! What a beautiful family! I have a 16 week old son and I was looking to get a name ring, I can’t find your blog post about your rings, could you please give me the link? Love from London xx

  35. Melissa

    Pieces of my heart walking around, oh my goodness!Two of my boys are traveling in Europe this summer and when I read that I burst into tears! They used to be ten weeks old and now they are all grown up and still are pieces of my heart ❤️

  36. Shannon

    Question- are they identical? I think they have a little bit of Josh in them. Cute shoes, great post, and hope you’re enjoying eating for three!!!

  37. Erin

    I’ve always wanted to be a mom and this post makes me want it even more. Praying for a world full of mommas who love their kids as much as you do!

  38. Connie

    OH man with these two adorable little Samson replicas! You look so thrilled in these pictures, like you just can’t fathom your good luck to have your arms full of them, its so special!

  39. So true. I am a first time mom to twin boys and I am going through all the feels already at them being almost 4 months old. However they were born 3 months premature so they’re still newborn size now, and finally starting to be feeding and getting more like proper “babies” and I find myself astonished at how much they seem to grow overnight!

    I almost want them to stay little forever, but I also want those grown up moments like going out for lunch together, hearing about their school or work days, meeting their future romantic partners, big family dinners, their kids… oh my mind races with all this stuff too. You’re not crazy. Or… maybe we’re both crazy. :)

  40. Oh, my heart. I feel like you took the words from my mouth and put them to the page. Watching my boys grow is such a mixed bag of emotions – beautiful, terrifying, heartbreaking, uplifting. You name it, I feel it!

  41. Mary Teller

    Waiting for the arrival of my first in a little over a week! This post had me feeling ALL of the feels. Thank you for sharing your insight and giving those of us who are anxiously waiting and wondering what it will be like a glimpse into the future.


    Mary Teller

  42. Lauren

    This is such a beautiful post. ❤️

  43. Casey

    I love your real posts. thankful to pop in and read, and not see it sponsored.

  44. I always feel love in your writings but this one … !! Each sentence you wrote is pure love and optimism. Thank you for sharing it! Let’s make the most of each day.