10 things i’ve learned raising twins in their first 2 months…

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b and m01i will probably never be an expert on my newfound role as a twin mother and mother of 5. with that said, i have taken a couple of mental notes over the past few weeks of things that make situations easier and less stressful when i am in the throws of all the struggles, as well as things that just don’t work right now. thought i’d share some for anyone else in a similar phase of life right now trying to get by!

  1. if you’re estimated arrival time is 10AM, tell yourself it’s actually 9AM. you’ll still barely make it to the 10AM start time. (honestly, i’m still arriving ten minutes after the proper start time, so maybe scratch that and give yourself an entire hour plus ten minutes.)
  2. however many diapers you think you need for an outing, take those and then take 4 more. (because the day you don’t, is the day both your babies will be like, “haha mama, watch this!”)
  3. you’re not going to sleep. and you’re going to eventually look really tired. (and some people will be awkward with not knowing what to say and so they’ll say things like, “you look so tired!” insert side eye smirk here.) this is the chapter of your life where rocking a bold lip is everything. i like to think it distracts from the tired eyes and makes you look put together even when you don’t feel put together. red lips! i’m talking red lips!!!
  4. when you’re not sleeping because you’re up all night feeding, THIS is the time to binge watch all the shows or movies you normally wouldn’t have made time for. (in anticipation of hopefully someday soon seeing ocean’s 8, i binge watched all the other ocean’s movies in like, 24 hours when my babies where fresh home from the hospital and all i was doing was nursing in our bed! i’m currently doing this now with the mission impossible movies (i’d never seen the first couple) in hopes that maybe josh’s and my first official date away from all our babies can be to see mission impossible 6 in the movie theater over the next couple of weeks! (a girl can dream!) and another tip for this one— while on your nighttime movie binge, stock your night stand drawers with your favorite snacks! (if you’re like me, then you’ll choose to stuff it with all the cookies you want!) your other kids would never think to look in there, so they’re all yours and will be safe during the day when you’re not eating them.
  5. if you’re nursing, find yourself an insulated water cup with a straw and carry it with you everywhere. i have learned i drink 5x more water when i have it cold and with a straw.
  6. find someone to hold your babies even for just 20 minutes at some point during the day so you can have one-on-one time with your other children without the newborns in sight. read or play with them, even if you’re a zombie that would rather be sleeping, because you’ll actually feel more energized and productive after dedicating attention solely on each of them individually without the babies in your arms. the kids will appreciate it, too. and i promise, it will feel better than the boost a 20 minute nap could have given you.
  7. the apartment will look like a tornado just swept through, so it’s best if you just don’t look around your space for the first couple of months. like, just close your eyes when you walk by the playroom.
  8. get outside. as often as you can. some people might judge you and say cruel things about the way you mother by taking your newborns out too soon, but if you’re like me and fresh air and little walking is your jam, just cover your babies stroller canopies or child carriers as best you can and go breath in that fresh amazing air outside. it is everything during this transitional stage when you’re tired and not feeling like yourself. fresh air is good for the babies too!
  9. let other people help you. this one is so hard for me. i like to do everything myself and asking for help, or accepting it, isn’t my strong suit. but it does make a difference. and i’m so very thankful.
  10. when you’re feeling overwhelmed or so exhausted that you’re not sure you can do it, pick up your babies and hold them. just hold them so close. smell them. kiss them. and talk to them. you absolutely have this, you’re a good mother. you’re their mother, and you know them better than anyone else. those cuddles are magic when you’re overwhelmed and tired. let it all go and just enjoy holding them close.
  1. Sarah

    Good list! Getting outside with our twins absolutely saved my sanity! I would walk with them for hours. Those night feedings are also a great time to plow through a lot of books. I find it incredibly annoying to hold a real book and turn pages while feeding babies but it’s the perfect time for an e-reader. You can even turn the pages with your nose 😉. Since we adopted our twins I was usually bottle feeding one at a time but most e-readers are light enough that you can hold it with your fingertips or lay it on your lap while tandem nursing. I started to jump out of bed excited when each of our kids woke at night once I realized I could catch up on all the great books that wouldn’t fit into busy daylight hours.

    The other big thing that worked for us was assembly-lining the kids (even more so when we added two more kids to our family and had four two and under). If one needed a diaper change, everyone got one. One needed a feeding, both got one, etc. It helped both get into the same routines, and prevented some of the “ugh, I JUST fed the crying one and got back to bed and ten minutes later the twin is up!”

  2. Rachel

    6-10 are 💯. People judged me for taking my newborns out but they were healthy, it wasn’t flu season, and no one has able to come anywhere close to them. I NEEDED to walk around and pretend to be a functioning human being. It made me become an actual functioning human basing SO much faster.

    Prioritize your tasks, lower your expectations (for yourself and everyone else too), and snuggle as much as possible. It goes by so fast.

  3. I love this! We need to get outside right away too.

    xo, brittany
    my thoughts on potty training on my blog today
    http://www.notablob.com

  4. Kristian

    WTF…. people got on you about “taking newborns out too soon?” It is summer! Good on you or taking them out, if that is what you and your family wanted/needed to do!

    You are a great mother, it is obvious from your other three, so no doubt you will be for these two too! Being a mother of twins sounds like a challenge and a joy.

  5. Karolina

    Beautiful blog post! I will try to remember this when I have kids one day. Keep going! You’ve got this!

  6. You’ve got this, mama! I love this post… this is everything every mom needs. I remember when I had a newborn, it was also summer time, I was outside all the time with him. People will judge because that’s the only they know how to do. So don’t even listen to that!! Just do what you do and you’re a wonderful mama.

    Xx,
    Fernanda

    wwww.blogmeandthecity,com

  7. Aileen

    I live in the UK and seriously we are not as obsessed about keeping our children away from all the “germy people” as people in the states seem to be. When our wee one was 3 days old we got discharged and took our girl straight of our favourite restaurant. I didn’t think anything about it until someone on instagram mentioned it. I then spoke to my midwife (in the UK we deal with midwives unless there is something “wrong”) and she wasn’t concerned at all. She told me getting out for fresh air and exercise was great for everyone. The only thug she discouraged was taking her swimming until she had her vaccinations. You just do you! Xx

  8. Emily

    This is beautiful. I will definitely reread, revisit, and share this one. Thank you. ♥️

  9. Eden

    This is everything . Wish I could have read this before I had my twins! The cuddles still works at 1.5 years when you’re feeling overwhelmed :)

  10. Olivia Susan

    Such a beautiful post and I am so thankful for your honesty. You are an amazing mother, you’ve got this!

  11. Hanalei

    Twin Mama’s and mom’s of multiples are seriously some of the strongest women I know!! One thing I heard from a twin mom is that is DOES get better and it does get easier with time…once you get them to potty training, you’ve made it thru the hardest part. Hang in there you are an expert mama by now!!

  12. Barb

    Great advice for any new mom! It’s hard hard work. Well done.

  13. Erin Pierce

    Love this list! I don’t have twins but I just had my second baby girl 9 days old and also have a 2 years old. Getting out of the house has been so good for me and essential with an active 2 year old! Also accepting all the help after a c-section is so key since I can’t lift my toddler or the baby carrier! And also agree with the binge watching shows while your baby binge feeds 😬 congrats on your baby girls!

  14. Christina M.

    I’d add- be gentle and forgiving with yourself, your spouse, and your older kids.

  15. Iva

    Of course you are a good mother and an inspiration to so many others !!

    PS : I hope you are using reusable straws 😉

  16. I loved this post! I love following your family!

  17. Tily

    Lovely and realistic post. Currently pregnant with my second son while having a 2 and a half year old boy too.. I am a bit scared of how we will split the time to be the center of both their worlds, but hopefully will be fine.! Ștefan was born in November, i don’t think he has 10 days in his life when he wasn’t outside for walk. We took him hiking, went on trips countless times and it was always fine. Enjoy each day and take lots of pictures :)

  18. Pamela

    I wish you the very best. I have two beautiful adult children. Just yesterday it seems they were my bsbies. Life goes by in an instant and I admire you for working to create a beautiful home within a city that can ve a chskkrnge. I live in Bed Stuy and that’s bustling. Enjoy and as your kasr line sorry noted cuddling them, smell them and I’ll add give yourself as much time as you need to get to know them. For some moms it’s a right away thing but don’t feel bad if you note a slight disconnect. The binds are there but you’re too tired and overwhelmed to see them.
    I
    Admire your safe haven in Manhattan. You seem to enjoy it it mdje the best of it. Thank God every day for your bounty, go forth eith joy and simply love each other. That’s it. The foundation for a happy life. We

  19. Sabine

    dear, why wouldn’t you take your babies out for a walk. I took mine to my husband’s theatre performance aged 2 weeks (standing in the back, nursing, while ready to get out anytime he might have started to make a sound, so no, not disturbing anybody else). as long as the babies are happy and healthy and calm, get out, enjoy the world!!!

  20. Oh, my goodness. I do not even have tiny babies, but I do have two smaller ones I’ve had later in my late 30’s and 40’s. So number 1, 7, 8 and number 9 still fits my life to a Tee. :) I do have lots of help…my older kids. In which I hope they do not move out before my small ones get grown. :) lol

    I know I am not an expert after all this time and I am still learning as well. Nonetheless, you are doing a wonderful and I can tell the new littles are getting lots of hugs and sugar.

    Girl, you doing great and that is real talk.

    xo Tangie

  21. Jenny

    I hear you on the water thing. I loved those giant insulated cups they give you at the hospital. I used it until it fell apart. This is a really good one that I bought after I finally threw the one from the hospital away: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XHP7QG8/ref=twister_B076X4X9HJ

    I drink a ton of water now that I have it.

  22. Rachel

    I so appreciate this! I’m 22 weeks pregnant and we just found out that we are having twins, and I have 3 older children already- 6 years old and under! I would love to hear about any baby products that have helped you manage things easier as well. Thanks!

  23. Azadeh

    Here in Denmark, babies sleep outside in their strollers in all kinds of weather – and I swear at first everyone thinks it’s weird, but once you try it you end up being hooked. They sleep SO much better in the fresh, cool air. We have these special sleeping bags with duvets, where you can change the inner filling of the duvet from silk (for summer) to wool (for winter), and we use those when the babies sleep outside. All three of my children have slept outside that way – so I don’t get why anyone would say anything to you about taking the twins out for a walk :) I guess it’s a cultural thing! :)
    As for the rest of the list – it’s a great read, thank you – it reminds me of the important stuff and also reminds me that whenever I think three kids is hard, I should try five kids and twins!! ;)

  24. Haleigh

    I may be a fresh, 3-week old mother of only one; but you just made me cry with your kind words. Your tips are also just really encouraging. I love cookies too, people DO judge me for taking my baby out even at 3-weeks, and I nurse while watching netflix! And I AM a good mom–an amazing mom!! Thank you again for your kind, encouraging words. We are truly not alone…

  25. Hanna

    Lovely thoughts, and look at you lemonading in your yellow dress! It looks great on you. :D

  26. The snack drawer trick is genius! I never would have thought of that, but I definitely want to make one now since our babe is due in just a few weeks! But it won’t be other kids who I’ll be hiding them from since this is our first, it will be my husband ;)

    And love your tip about getting outside. We get really antsy when cooped up inside and we love to walk so I know we are going to be doing the same. Enjoy those walks with your babes and your little family – those everyday experiences showing them your favorite city at such a young age are priceless!

    xo Mary-Katherine
    http://www.goldhattedlover.com

  27. Stin

    Yes and yes to getting outside! Fresh air,seeing different sites and sounds makes mom, kids and babies happy! I’ll add to the list and say outsource if you can in the early stages. I sent laundry out for fluff and fold a few times because there just wasn’t time to get out to the laundry mat :)

  28. Amanda

    Oh goodness. We left the hospital with our third child and went straight to a park with our other 2 and had a picnic lunch. I actually think we were created to be outside!!

  29. Jane

    “like, just close your eyes when you walk by the playroom.” this was the laugh that i needed today!

  30. Araceli

    I’ve been a loooong time reader (before you had kids!) but never commented until now because this post hit home for me. I had my daughter two days before you had your twins (May 26)! So I’m going through this as well. I have another daughter who is four. And boy did I need to read these reassuring points because there have been plenty of times when I felt I just couldn’t do it anymore. In the midst of the massive spit ups, endless diaper changes, crying at night; I will remember that I’m not alone. Thanks Naomi.

  31. Birgit Putteman

    Why would people judge taking babies outside?
    In Scandinavian countries they let them nap outside all snuggled in.
    Best ever!

    You so make me want to have another baby ❤️
    Xoxo, b

  32. Cynthia

    What a good list! And congratulations!
    Any specific water cup/ bottle recommendations? I’ve been on the hunt for a good one (insulated! straw! fits in the stroller’s cup holders!) and haven’t had any luck. Does it exist?

  33. magali

    you are wonderful taza (and josh!)! you make it great and I admire you ;)
    A friend of mine had already 3 boys as she got pregnant with the 4th child…but in fact she was pregnant with…triplets (all natural…) I saw how tired they were. they had all my respect.
    you got this!
    kisses from switzerland!
    magali

  34. NAdja

    Completely unrelated, not sure if it’s the angle but it looks like you guys don’t have that marvelous Anthropologie bed anymore?! I’m buying it so I was curious to know why.

  35. Issie

    Hi taza. Thanks for sharing a great experience. It would be very helpful with my friend who will be a new mom with her twins next month. I can’t imagine how much she would be tired with her twins, I think it’s double. I’m thinking to find some gift for her, Diapers strikes my eye as you mention above, so my friend need them a lot. Is it possible to find Overnight Diapers for her as a gift? I visited here http://www.womensedge.org/best-overnight-diapers/. So, my friend can sleep longer at night? What do you think about that? Thank you in advance for your suggestions.

  36. Amanda

    Oh my goodness, you are so right everyone thinks it is their job to tell you how bad you are for taking your baby out before 2-3 months old!! I have had old ladies swerve over to me in Costco just to tell me my baby is too little to be out. So cruel, that’s exactly the word.

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