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LOVE TAZA_

i know i have already admitted a few times over here on this blog of mine that this twin pregnancy has made me feel like an entirely different person at times over the last several months. one of the harder parts of it all for me isn’t the physical pain or exhaustion i’m feeling regularly as much as the guilt that has found its way into my day to day as an already mother to three little ones. i feel like i physically and mentally haven’t been able to be the fully present and active mama my children deserve since basically october, and it hurts. i’ve been the mama in her freaking pajamas 80% of the day, who struggles to sit down on the floor with them and then stand again when i need to get up. who struggles to read a story to them because i feel out of breath mid-way and have to pause (how lame is that?)! i totally get that it’s pregnancy related and not forever, but it’s actually been a lot harder for me (possibly more so for my pride) to take than i ever expected.

i found myself crawling into bed one day last week after some morning meetings i had to go to with josh and sleeping until past 7PM (a miracle honestly because i sleep in 30- 40 minute increments at night lately since my body wakes me to either pee or because it aches so much on one side and i have to switch sides until the other side aches). anyway, when i woke up and wandered out of my bedroom, the apartment was dark, the kids were already in bed and asleep for the night, and as i walked into the kitchen and saw their art work from the day across the dining room table, and their dishes rinsed and piled neatly in the sink from dinner (the dishwasher was already running), i totally lost it. i just felt so bad that i hadn’t seen them, been with them, been available to them AT ALL that day because i was….sleeping. and that hurt. thankfully, they have a papa who is always on top of his game, but it felt like someone had hit me in the throat because i suddenly felt so lazy and when josh came into the kitchen and offered to make me some dinner, i lost it all over again. he kept hugging me and telling me that growing two babies WAS work and i wasn’t just sleeping to be lazy. but for many reasons, it’s still been hard for me to come to terms with the fact that this is me right now.

it’s a funny spot to be in. because so much of me is so dang excited to be carrying these two little girls and i daydream all the time about finally meeting them soon. i know it will be hard work and crazy for a long time after their arrival, but still. it’s feeling more and more real every day as we’ve been prepping their things, reading up on twins and feeling them dance and kick around in my tummy during most of the day. i just wish the guilt wasn’t here and that i could offer more to my other babies right now. i feel like this is one of the hardest things i’ve done, physically and mentally, this twin pregnancy. physically, just because i’m used to being in control of my body and being active and able and fully mobile. and mentally, because it takes a toll on you when you are suddenly so limited physically, and feel completely out of control of your own body.

i am not sharing this looking for sympathy and i’m also not fishing for any comments telling me i am a good mother. i just wanted to share because sometimes people will say things like,  “wow you make pregnancy seem easy or look good” or whatever and i just want to share that while sometimes getting dressed helps me feel a little bit more put together, for the most part, this is what i’m struggling with right now and this is how i feel.

i don’t want this post to feel like a complete downer, and i wish i had more positive words to end it with. but i don’t. so i’m going to just wrap it up with some photos of my beautiful babies and their smiles because that’s just as good if not better than any positive words i could try to muster.

these photos are from sunday, and samson and conrad took many of them. there were maybe 15 photos of conrad’s toes and all laughed so hard when we were looking at them together on the sofa. i should have included a toe photo from conrad in this bunch. if i find energy later, i’ll pull out my hard drive and upload it here.

LOVE TAZA 0LOVE TAZA 2LOVE TAZA 5-3

they are the silliest and they know how to make each other (and me) laugh so hard when we are playing around.

LOVE TAZA 5-2LOVE TAZA 5-5LOVE TAZA 5 LOVE TAZA 5-6

samson took this photo and E and me. my settings got all flipped on the dial from the kiddos playing with the camera so it’s extra grainy and badly lit, but i love it just the same. her little star wars socks! (for those who have asked, my dress is by sonnet james and eleanor’s is available here. and i have been living in these shoes because they are really comfortable. tempted to get them in every color.)

LOVE TAZA 5-4

and one of the photos conrad took which was a pleasant surprise! haha! no toes in this one!

  1. Cassandra

    This reminded me of the handful of times I broke down like you, during my twin pregnancy! Something my husband said that was completely full of Grace, and reminds me of Josh was, “You carry our babies and I’ll carry you.” It was exactly the Grace I needed!

  2. SophieCappa

    Your kids can tell how great mommy you are and they will keep telling you the following years! The best gift to them is to be able to give them siblings for life! 😊

  3. Nancy

    Thanks for your honesty. I can only imagine how tough carrying 2 babies while raising 3 more must be. Thinking of you and your family and wishing you the best these next couple of months. My Mom always says “this too shall pass”. I hope that expression brings you comfort as it often does for me. Before you know it you will have those sweet babes and all will be well with the world!

  4. C

    I so enjoyed reading this, rooting for you to hang on just a little bit longer! You and Josh are going to absolutely crush raising your family in the city. I know that your mom had twins too, did she ever feel the same way?

  5. Christine

    Pregnancy is so hard. And then when you’re not pregnant, you see pregnant mamas and miss being pregnant so much. :) Even though you also remember the sleepless nights and leg cramps and aches and food issues and throwing up. It’s some hard work! Harder the more little ones you have running around. Maybe to make yourself feel better you can share with us finding out you were having TWINS! :)

  6. Sarah-Louise

    as any good mom friend would tell you. You’re doing great, mom guilt is an ever present thing most of us deal with I think.. I’m 14 weeks with babe number 4 and have had a few nights of needing to just go get in bed the second hubs walks in the door and the whole time worried and feeling a tad guilty, a mix of ” I need and deserve this, and hoping my husband is ok with it and feeling bad I’m not helping etc”. i think the most important thing is remembering this is temporary , you won’t feel guilty looking back in 5 years and think you shouldn’t have taken the rest when you needed it.. but thanks for sharing real feelings, we all need to connect on these things i think!

  7. K

    Like your bangs trim. Very Audrey H. :)

  8. Whitney

    Hope you’re somehow able to start sleeping better! Or at least get a few solid nights. That’s such a hard part of pregnancy for me too.

  9. Reba F

    I really appreciate reading this. I’m not a mom yet, but warming up to the idea. I anticipate pregnancy being difficult at times so I like your honesty. I know you’re excited and thankful too… but sometimes it’s just good to be real. Thank you for sharing this. Hang in there sister!

  10. Kellianne

    Hey! I really appreciated this post. Just wanted to let you know that (1) I hope the good moments that redeem the hardness keep coming and (2) I can empathize to a degree. I had my first two fairly close together and when my second was born, for several months I felt an unexpected grief at the loss of time and attention I was able to give my eldest. It just hurt a lot more than I thought it would.
    It was helpful for me to tell myself that it was okay to be sad, okay to be missing a good and beautiful thing whose phase had come to end, and that the “pain of delivery” can begin before a baby is born and extend for weeks and even months afterwards. As you certainly know, it’s worth it! Having more people to love on and receive love from in a family is pretty much always a wonderful thing. :)

  11. Hi Naomi,

    We are all human and have good days and bad days,
    As hard as it is to acknowledge the bad sometimes, I thank you for doing so and in turn finding the positives and things to be grateful for.
    Sending love and strength x

  12. Amy

    I have suffered extreme “morning” sickness with each of my pregnancies leaving me useless for 6 months or more. I’m always riddled with guilt over the time I’m missing with my daughter(s), especially right before introducing another one and really rocking her world. It’s an aspect of pregnancy that isn’t talked about much, so I really appreciate you sharing your story. I’m sure your husband already told you all these things, but children are so resilient and will never remember this part (just as us moms quickly forget it when we see that baby!). You are an amazing mom!

  13. Naomi, I have been following your blogs for quiet sometime and love reading them.

  14. S

    Hi Naomi, I recently discovered your blog and have found it to be such a source of joy and comfort during some of my most stressful months of medical school. I just wanted to say, stay strong! You are beautiful, both in spite of and because of your struggle. Thanks again for always bringing smiles.

  15. G

    Hang in there. You are doing your best. Your kids are very lucky to have a Mom as caring as you.

  16. Steph

    As a fellow twin Mum (currently pregnant with #3) I hear you and understand everything you are saying. I don’t have any advice because that’s not what you need – you will rock this and also have rough days, because that’s how this parenting gig goes… but I did just want to say that your honesty in this post is a gift – a gift to all the other mums out there thinking they are the only ones laying in bed at night and adding up all their faults and failings and wins for the day and wondering if they are the only ones struggling and trying to do better every day. Thank you xx

  17. Jen

    I remember feeling this way about my mothering when I was pregnant and sick as can be….I have four kids and one of my biggest struggles in life is being able to give enough mommy time to them all. We do a lot of individual dates whenever we can swing it and I pick up my kiddos at school for individual lunch dates during preschool hours. Being a mom is hard work but hang in there. You have inspired me as a mom many times and continue to do so……do your best and forget the rest ❤️❤️❤️ and know there are many of us in this same boat.

  18. Merle

    I love it, that you write a post to say that its hard! (and also no fun at all from time to time), especially that you say you wish you had some positive words to end the post but you don’t! I often wish I had more positive things to say (about being pregnant) but sometimes, well, I just don’t have them and then it should be okay too!
    xx
    Merle

  19. Michelle

    Hi Naomi

    I have twins aswell, they are now 2.5 years old, a boy and a girl, it’s not easy carrying twins, i slept sitting straight up for the last 2 months of pregnancy. dont be to hard on yourself mamma, your are a great mom and those 3 little kiddos know that. Best of luck, the best is yet to come once those littles arrive,

    Xx

  20. Whoop whoop whomp

    I’m sorry you feel bad. And so thankfull for an honost post. As I read your Posts the last couple of years it inspired. And itched. You are very fortunate to have had so much energy and health with 3 kids the last years. This is not a normal given for all mamas.
    Plse write sincere posts about the struglle with finding energy to mother and live. There are many mamas that can barely care for their families and themselfs because of health, not just pregnancy.
    You can do this. Kick the guilt to the curb. The little moments of light everyday are worth it.

  21. Kathy

    I’m pregnant and my son had diarrhea in the bathtub last night while my husband was at work. So I got everything and everyone cleaned up and put my son to bed. Then I cried and felt sorry for myself. Giving baths is hard enough while pregnant- now a diarrhea bath!? Then I felt guilty and ashamed because I felt sorry for myself when the poor little guy is the one who is sick. I clicked on your blog before work this morning and I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to read a mother, who I respect very much, talk about her struggles and guilt. It made me feel less alone. So thank you! I hope if you read this comment you know you’re not alone too!

  22. Rebecca

    Solidarity from a fellow twin mama! I had such guilt during my pregnancy, and I only had one older child to worry about. My kids are 7 and 5 now, and I still struggle to feel like I am giving them everything they need. I’m probably not–there’s just not enough of me to go around! But what I constantly remind myself is that they gain so much from the relationships they have with their siblings. And, having to fend for themselves here and there is teaching them to be self-driven, independent, and creative! It doesn’t always soothe the guilt I feel, but I truly do believe that, so it’s a helpful thing to remember. Also, 1:1 dates, even if it’s just a walk to the corner market, go a long, long way for everybody.

    Hang in there–it can be so tough, and this end-of-pregnancy phase is one of the hardest parts of twindom. Take care of yourself in whatever way you need, believe Josh that you ARE doing hard work, and remember that your kids are awash with love every single day!

  23. Kellie Denton

    Oh friend you are in the hardest part of pregnancy – hang in there! You’re doing great and Josh is right! (I know you know these things already – just wanted to pass on some encouragement from my neck of the woods. I have hypermesis gravidarium during pregnancy and I felt the same way with my boys. I’ll be praying for you and I can’t wait to “meet” your girls! :)

  24. Krystal

    It is hard and that’s ok. My guilt was when my twins were born. There were two babies I had to take care of on top of my 3yr old. I felt so guilty that all my time was being taken up taking care of two babies that I felt I didn’t give my oldest much if any attention ( I still feel the guilt of that 13yrs later ). But with all that there were good times and funny times. I remember a time I was feeding one of the twins and the other was screaming crying. I myself started crying because I was busy feeding the one and couldn’t attend to the other ( I’m sure I could have but in my newly born stupor I couldn’t multi-task very well ). My 3yr old comforted me by saying ‘it’s ok mommy….babies cry….that’s what they do’. He made me smile through all those tears and made me realize it was all going to be ok :)

  25. We have a 3.5 year old girl and twin girls that just turned 1. My twin pregnancy was so much harder than my single pregnancy, and I resonated with many of the things you said- you are not alone! I also struggled with a lot of guilt, feeling overwhelmed at the thought of taking care of two babies and feeling worried at how hard this would be on Norah, our oldest. The first months were pretty tough, but I am so thankful for where we are today and for how faithful He has been to our family over the past year. It’s still super busy and always will be, but it feels much more manageable now. Being a twin mom is truly a joy! I wondered why He chose us for this while I was pregnant, but now I am so very glad He did.

  26. Lara Tenorio

    It’s very positive that you share this
    So that people can realize that no one’s life
    is always perfect! I’m an lds, stay at home/
    homeoffice lawyer, mother of 3 from Brazil
    and I’m expecting baby #4 (“Noemi”, the
    Portuguese form for Naomi) and I totality
    get what you are experiencing. Don’t
    feel guilty, get all the help and rest you
    Can so when you are around your children
    You’ll have The energy and pacience you
    Need. Xoxo, Lara.

  27. There’s nothing quite like the post bedtime guilt. It’s like the moment my kids eyes close for the night, I go through the ways in which I wasn’t the perfect mother that day and feel like crap for it, and then they wake up and I can do the exact same thing, make the exact same mistakes another day! And for you, all of this is of course complicated by pregnancy! hormones! feeling so dang physically exhausted! Anyway, just a message to say–I feel you. You’re not alone. And from where I stand, your kiddos seem so totally loved. Thinking of you, Naomi!

  28. Samiha

    Oh Naomi, from what I’ve seen you’re doing an amazing job. It’s my first pregnancy and the first trimester has been so rough, I’m feeling tired all the tired and everything smells and makes me want to be sick and I feel guilty as hell but I know my husband and yours both know this isn’t normally us. We’re bringing a new life into this world. He knows it’s not it’s not going to be easy. So cut yourself some slack. They understand. Your body takes what it needs and if it’s sleep then sleep.

  29. Cathy

    I while ago when I was having mom guilt over who know what, my mom sat me down and told me, ‘Children don’t realize your absence if your spirit is still present,’ and then she went on to ask me, ‘Do you remember all of my mistakes?’ And I said, ‘What mistakes mom? You were perfect!’ To which she responded, ‘Exactly!’ And it’s true. Put yourself in their shoes and realize you probably were never as hard on your mom as you are on yourself. Children are amazingly resilient and as long as you are there in spirit, that love is all they need. Sending love and strength!

  30. Katie

    Pregnancy is a whole boatload of feelings.

    I remember feeling similar in my third pregnancy. The out of breath thing is real and I only had one baby in my belly!

    I remember feeling guilty having my second baby only 1.5 years after my first. But as time goes on, every day confirms that a sibling is the best gift I can give my children!

    Thanks for your honesty.

  31. Celina

    Soooo relatable…cried reading this! Ugh.

  32. Ali

    I grew up in a two parent household, however my dad was only around on weekends or the rare weekday because he was traveling for work most of the time. He supported our family financially, and although I was very young, I understood how difficult his sacrifice was, and that it was done so we could all have a better life. I remember being in awe as a kid because he would work so hard all week, traveling from city to city, come home late Friday night, and then spend the whole weekend mowing the lawn and doing yard work. The time I got to spend with him on Sunday mornings when he would take us to breakfast (so my mom could sleep in every once in while) was so special and memorable – I never once wished that he could be around more – because I totally got it – even as a 5 year old. So do not feel guilty. I’m sure this is a change for your family and the dynamic, but I think you are SO SO lucky already to be able to spend the time that you do with your family. And even kids understand that sometimes adults have priorities that will make the family even better and more wonderful! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, I hope you get lots of support from your loved ones and that it eases up mentally and physically before the big day! I am so excited to virtually meet your twins soon :)

  33. Jill

    This post hit really close to home for me today, (on the one day I did my makeup this week) I found myself crying through it! Although I’m not pregnant with twins, I am pregnant with just one but this pregnancy has been so hard. Struggling to appreciate the hard with the good and the mom guilt is definitely there constantly. Thank goodness for good men and the best kids who support us and love us even when we’re not 100%. Excited for you and your sweet family!

  34. S

    You are amazing for having & caring for FIVE little ones right now. And you have to know that right now when they see you resting they see how selfless motherhood and pregnancy is. My mom was chronically sick for 2 years when I was 7 but I never resented her for it! I learned a lesson from her about caring for yourself first (sadly she learned it then as well… and the youngest of 5 was 1 year old). You are giving them the greatest gift of two baby sisters and that is what they will remember from this. They will be forever grateful.

  35. Ashley

    This is exactly how I felt when I was pregnant with my boys. I know you’re giving it all you’ve got and you’ll look back soon and just be amazed how tough you really were. I slept so much better after I delivered. People kept saying I must be exhausted with newborn twins but I felt so much better with them on the outside:) thanks for posting this!

  36. You are an extraordinary human being, mother and companion!! You are facing one of the most challenging and meaningful lessons that I’m still trying to refine after 30 years of mothering. This is a season when your dearest loved ones are blessed to serve and watch over you. Trust in the promise that your bonds will deepen and become even sweeter as they each have the sacred honor of extending that same pure love that you have offered to them throughout their lives. Be patient and gentle with yourself and try to treasure these delicate, beautiful workings of family. You and your honey and your little ones and your precious girls on the way are all unfolding into truly magnificent and wondrous people.

  37. Katarina Walker

    My heart goes out to you. I’ve heard my parents express things like that too. I’m the 3rd of 8 kids and my mother had horrible pregnancies and my dad was establishing his career as a lawyer when we were kids. All of my siblings agree that some of our happiest memories as kids were when our parents were neck deep in parenthood; us siblings bonded and had the most incredible adventures together while my mom was sick in bed and my dad was at work. We also always rallied together to help out, which I think is great too. I think bigger family dynamics come with things like that. All of us have an amazing connection with our parents and with each other. You’re doing great and your kids are making amazing memories with each other. <3

  38. Valeska

    I was carrying one who was born in February and I think I cried almost every other day. I couldn’t play with my toddler because I was so uncomfortable, I could barely pick him up. It was the worst feeling. So I get it. A good vent session always helps.

  39. EB

    Thank you for this post! My comment is both in reaction to this specific post, but also so many of your other posts when you talk about how amazingly supportive your husband is, and the wonderful things he says to lift you up and support you. And to Cassandra’s comment on this post when she said her husband told her while she was pregnant, “You carry our babies, and I’ll carry you.”–Argh! Tears! Honestly. You should have your husband, Josh, write a recurring feature called: “Dear Husbands of Wives Who Read My Wife’s Blog.” Can Josh PLEASE spread his wisdom of how men can be more openly affectionate and caring husbands to their wives?! Josh just seems to GET IT. There have been many times after reading your posts when I have wished your husband and my husband could just sit and chat about marriage… xoxoxo, From a Loyal Reader and Wife Whose Love Language is “Words of Affection,” but has a Husband Who Thinks Love Languages Are Baloney. (My husband is an amazing man, husband, and father… just needs help in the Words or Affection department!)

  40. Don’t feel afraid or guilty about asking for help, or receiving help even when you haven’t asked! You have such a loving family and you are such a loving mother <3 -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s

  41. Sandra

    The struggle is real! When I was pregnant with my son I had major mamma guilt. I felt that no matter how hard I tried i was always letting someone down, my kids, my husband, work, family or myself. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier but we can only do the best we can and as long as we try to do the best we can thats all that matters.
    Hang in there. Life will change when the two littles come, new obstacles will come but the best you that you can be for your family and everything else will work out. You are doing a great job!
    Its important that Mamma takes care of herself first so she can be the best mom that she can be for her littles.

  42. Tina

    Thanks for just being real! One of the reason I’ve read your blog for like 6 years! You are just authentic. You got this!

  43. K

    Sometimes we want to be good at things, without going through the growing process that is required. Growing is always hard, but think how much better and stronger and more empathetic you will be when you have made it through this pregnancy. Also ,by not being 100% there for you kids they are learning the best lessons! How to rely on each other, how to fill new rolls that they will have to learn when the babies come too! It’s all good, banish that guilt, it does NOTHING!!! Anytime it comes into your mind, immediately replace it with the positive thoughts of your growing family.

  44. Britney S.

    I remember feeling the same way when I was pregnant with my third and then even after when I was so exhausted, having trouble breastfeeding, having PPD, etc., or letting everyone down and not being enough. Being the vessel that brings our children, people, into this world, is no joke. Being a co-creator with God is incredibly joyful and incredibly hard. I don’t know what to say other than that what we do is a miracle. And miracles aren’t easy. They require a lot of sacrifice from the person receiving it. You’re bringing miracles into the lives of you and your husband and children, parents, etc. You already are enough. More than enough. You focus on these next two months and don’t even for a second feel guilty. Everyone who is touched by the lives of these girls are already indebted to you.

  45. Annabelle

    Naomi, I don’t personally know you or your family, but from the little snippets of you that you make available online, it’s really hard for me to imagine your children holding grudges over you being tired, having a hard time keeping up etc. My mum had 3 girls, in 1985, 1989 and 1995 (that’d be me!) and despite my sisters being old enough to take care of themselves while my mum was busy with baby me, she was EXHAUSTED. You are carrying two girls while looking after 3 young children. One would find even just ONE of these two things absolutely impossible! They may not even realize it now but one day E, S and C will look back and wonder, “how did mama do it?!” You are a powerhouse of a mother, and just as strong a woman, because I’m sure many pregnant mothers feel the same but feel too ashamed to express it. You don’t just feed and clothe these little sweethearts, you educate them and raise them to be good people. Some parents don’t go that extra mile. Nothing we can say will alleviate your guilt, and even without being a mum I can imagine I would share the same feeling if I came to be in your position. You can never do as much as you’d like, but you are already doing so much for these 5 cuties of yours. You and Josh were made to be a team of parents! Much love to you for the remaining months, take care of yourself Naomi x

  46. Imogen

    Don’t feel guilt- just think that your other two little babies need looking after right now!

  47. Emmalee

    I remember feeling so much guilt when my baby was crying and I was trying to do anything. It got to the point that I would skip meals so I could care for baby. The guilt I felt from letting my child cry was overwhelming. One day I realized, I am taking care of myself so that I CAN take care of my babies. Hang in there, don’t forget to take care of you. The best thing you can do for your kids is be there for them, and the only way to do that is to take care of yourself. Good luck!

  48. Susan

    I have six children and I totally understand your feelings. You are an amazing mother and your older children will not remember any of the hard times. What they will remember are the beautiful babies that will be joining your family soon and how excited they are to meet them.. Hang on!

  49. Caitie

    this is so real and normal. i love it – pregnancy is so beautiful and unglamorous. these feelings aren’t fun at all but they’re real just like your unconditional love for your kids. thanks for offering us readers small bits into your life! you got this, grrl!

  50. Ruth

    I only had two kids when I got pregnant with the twins but I remember that feeling so well!! It’s just the worst and I’m so sorry to say it gets worse before it gets better😅 but once I had the twins, even thought it felt like I was nursing and changing diapers all the time, I realized that as soon as I would feed them I could put dad in charge and run off with the littles even if it’s just for an hour at the park (and a lady at the park congratulates you for your upcoming pregnancy!). Best of luck and just remember the quality is always more important than the quantity of time with kids :)

  51. Chelsea

    Twin pregnancy is no joke. I was exhausted through mine and I only had a 2.5 year old to watch let alone 3 kids! The good news is that you will feel like you are more rested when the babies come because even though sleep will be broken for the first while it is so much more comfortable! Totally understand the story comment, it was hard to breath when my daughter sat on my lap, or I walked up a mild hill😊 best of luck!!

  52. Sara

    I can’t believed I haven’t printed and framed this for myself yet, but “To Every Thing There is a Season”! It is my motto. During school, during morning sickness, during trials, during that third trimester that I swear actually lasts longer than the entire pregnancy combined. This too shall pass, and we will be better for it. And your babies will not remember these days and think of you missing, they’ll remember the fun and the good times and the preparation. The next season of life brings its own trials and the next. A new season is coming. You’ve got this.

  53. Shannon

    I have heard (from my mom among others), that you can eat WHATEVER the heck you want when you are nursing two babies. And it just falls right off. That sounds exciting.

  54. Elizabeth

    My almost three year old left me a leg picture. For some reason it makes me smile just as much as well taken pictures. I

  55. Sarah

    Naomi, hi. I’m a mother of 5. My oldest is nearing 6, and my youngest are 9 month old twins. I was right where you are not so long ago. Carrying twins is no small feat, and the last trimester is simply exhausting. You’ll need to rest more as the pregnancy progresses, more so than a singleton. It’s so important so that you can make it as close to full term as possible for the health of the babies. Perhaps if you think of it this way you’ll have a bit more grace for yourself, knowing it’s not just for you but for your babes? I’m wondering also if you’ve gotten your iron checked recently. It might be worth it to get tested to see if you’ve become anemic as your pregnancy has progressed? Either way, hang in there sister. You’ve got this!

  56. Hanne

    thank you so much for sharing this. And for not ending it with a pure positive wibe. sometimes life is hard, and knowing others (even successful, sparkling people like you😊) also feel that way, well it makes me feel less alone. i’m due in May too; hoping for a summer for both of us filled with a easy going fourth trimester! Love to you

  57. Dear Naomi, thank you for sharing this feelings and thoughts.. It makes me feel a little better. Because i can relate to everything you say. We are waiting a little brother in may, and this pregnancy has been tough. Since day one i have been nauseous and constantly dizzy, and it seems like it will be like that all the way this time. In addition my pelvic (i use google translate, so hopefully this is the right word;) is crashing down, and force me to be very inactive. This hurts and give me a feeling of constantly guilty, for the big brother and my lovely husband. I dont feel like the mum i want to be. I love to play around, lay on the floor, and have energy to everything to come with my guys. And i also often takes the role to come up with stuff to do, but now i dont have the surplus.
    But, do you know what we should do? Take this words from our husbands, and really have that as a focus. The real job right now is to create humanbeings. AND take care of our bodies. So we CAN come back, stronger than before, with new ideas, activities, and energy!
    Right now, it is ok to be just the way you are. And you are even a more lovely mum. Real, genuine and warm. With all of this feelings <3

    Love from Katrine

  58. CathyMA

    You are doing a great job! Look at the smiles on those kids. Have a wonderful day, even if it means sleeping!!! That just means the babies are growing and your body needs to be still for a few hours. It’s good.

  59. Emily Crane

    Aw, Naomi! I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. You’re undergoing one of the most biologically challenging processes a human can go through, and you’re kicking a**, even if it doesn’t feel that way sometimes. If your body is telling you that it needs rest, you’re not being lazy for listening to it. You really are doing an awesome job balancing everything. Your kids won’t remember that you spent an afternoon in bed, but they will remember that you grew a business from the ground up, traveled the world, AND put your all into raising them. If ever there was a woman who deserves a nap…!

  60. Sammy

    All 12 of my kids were adopted so this post is very interesting. Of course, there is plenty of pain with adoption too. Money, mountains of paperwork, travel and lots of worrying trying to get it all done. Ha.

  61. Mare

    I think we can all tell from your photos and videos how happy and carefree your kids are. And even though we cannot tell how they are feeling about this situation, what I wish you knew is how much you influence mothers all around the world in a positive and uplifting way, including myself. Unfortunately, when I have a bad day or behave the way I didn´t want to towards my children, I don´t call my mom and ask for advice or inspiration, I go to your blog and find it here… I have been following you for 5 years and you have shown me the way a mother is supposed to be. Your video about parenting with Josh made me cry. Thank you Naomi and I am sure you have tough days like all of us but I hope you read these comments and think of them when you feel down.

  62. M

    I was on bed rest the last 6 weeks of my twin pregnancy, and it was so hard feeling out of control of my body and not being able to take care of my older daughter. But the most important thing is to keep those babies growing inside for as long as possible, so I tried to celebrate every day as a success. You are definitely not being lazy. You are working incredibly hard. Hang in there!

  63. Anne

    I can totally relate to this and I’m just pregnant with a singleton and have two small kids! Pregnancy and motherhood are so challenging, you are a superwoman! I really appreciate your honesty and transparency in this post

  64. Christina

    Hi Naomi….very worthful thoughts…
    Thx for sharing!
    Would you mind informing where the Petrol colored rug is from?
    Many thanks!

  65. Jessica

    Such wonderful photos! I know pregnancy is so hard, especially when you already have little ones who depend on you! This is so sweet!

    http://www.jessicabroyles.com

  66. Margaret Forsey

    Dear Naomi,

    Please try not to feel guilty about getting that extra sleep.
    It sounds like you really needed it!
    And it is good for your children to observe you taking
    care of yourself, and to see their papa caring for you.

    Your children need a healthy mother more than anything, so allowing yourself to rest is good for them as well as you! And it is important for children to observe the ebb and flow of life…..that sometimes we are active and full of energy, and other times we need to slow down and rest and be gentle with ourselves.

    Best wishes to you and your family <3

  67. Liz

    One of my favorite posts! I love your honesty! And I’m pretty sure Netflix was made for times like this!

  68. Jasmine

    Love you lady! I feel God is telling you to rest. You are a city girl and love to be on the go! go! go! But remember to take time to rest and realize it is okay to do so. Resting keeps us sane and allows the body to take care of itself in a way. What do you think about audiobooks? They may be a good alternative for now during bedtime-encourge the use of imaginations or you can purchase the books online to follow along.

  69. Erin

    I really appreciate your honesty and authenticity. Thank you for being real. Your kids are lucky to have a mom who loves them so much. ❤️

  70. Allison

    i remember feeling blue during my pregancny at times and I didn’t have any kids! I hope things get a little easier for you as you get ready to welcome two more!

    xo Allison
    http://allisons-eye.com

  71. JoAnna

    I cried all through reading this post. I’m currently pregnant with my 3rd child and have 2 other toddlers. I always have difficult pregnancies, but the GUILT this time around I have felt in letting down my children has been terrible!! Feeling like I’m a lazy mom is just so horrible. Obviously you are the furthest thing from lazy, but I know very well what it’s like to feel that way. sometimes I wish it wasn’t such hard work bringing these precious people into the world :). But I know the sacrifices our entire family makes for these babies will be worth it!! Thinking of you and your family these final weeks!

  72. Jillian

    Maybe you could do some cross stitching, knitting, or embroidering to occupy your hands/mind while you’re off your feet growing the babes? Doing something with your hands may be just what the Dr. ordered! Plus, since you have such an eye for beauty & love color, I’m sure you could quickly find something you’d love to start! Good luck, hope you feel better! P.s. I wrote you a little over 6 yrs ago about naming my daughter Naomi, you had the sweetest response, we ended up naming her Naomi Iris (Iris was my husband’s grandmother’s middle name). 💗💗💗

  73. Lucie

    Hi girl,
    I just wanted to send some energy (not much left here and I only have 2 kids for the moment!) over the ocean to you and tell you, you are not alone!
    I never went through a twin pregnancy, but the pregnancies I had were much more tiresome and hard than I expected (and than those most of my girlfriends or family had). For my two boys, I was sick for half of each pregnancy and for the second boy, I went directly from the “I am too sick and tired” to the “I am soooo huge I can’t walk, sleep, sit or do anything else comfortably” stage. Even for the first one, at 6 months, people were asking if I was due any day. The second boy belly was naturally even bigger (I’d say same size as yours with twins)… So I definitely feel you on that. I am not sure I will ever be getting to number 5, but I can’t even fantom it right now. Still too tired from not sleeping, I guess. And I still feel bad some days because my older one has to wait often for me to finish something with the baby. And all those kilograms sticking to me almost 10 months after birth are not helping my mindset, either. Well. Just wanted to say that you are not the only one in a difficult place. I am not sure that helps, but I wanted to give it a try.
    Crossing my fingers for Spring to lift all our spirits up and thanks again for those husbands who can be in charge like there is no problem!
    Sending good vibes and take care!

  74. CH

    YES! I am pregnant#4 (a girl) and have been experiencing the worst Mom guilt about needing time away from my other 3. It’s hard to be wanting to be with the kids and knowing your limits/self-care. The kids wont remember you sleeping, taking baths or needing a break, but they will remember you bringing home their baby sisters! It is so worth it:) Siblings are the greatest gifts. Thinking of you and hoping you keep taking it easy!

  75. Pregnancy is really hard for me, I have 3 girls and with each of their pregnancies I’ve thrown up 6 + times a day, every day for the first 6 months! I relate to so much of what you’re saying! I’m willing to make the sacrifice but it breaks my heart to have to lay on the couch all day and not be the fun mom for my kids! The only thing that gets me through it is repeating my mantra that siblings are the best gift I can give them.

    On another note I don’t comment on here a lot but I’ve loved following your blog through motherhood! I still remember your pregnancy announcement with Eleanor and it made me so excited to start our family one day too (my oldest is about Samson’s age). I just want to say thanks for sharing your journey and you’re not alone in those feelings during a hard pregnancy! Good luck with your sweet twins, I can’t wait to meet them (virtually) too!

  76. Robin Tallant

    When I was pregnant with my twins, at lunchtime I would go across the street to Bryant Park and find a bench or a patch of grass and take a 30 minute nap. Thank goodness the weather was nice enough to sleep outside. I couldn’t have gotten through the work day without it. Some days I would also go home and go straight to bed. Growing two babies is hard!

  77. Susanna

    There are many fathers who don’t see their children most of the day because of work. Only very few of them would ever feel guilty about that. You can be sooo PROUD of the enormous task you’re fulfilling at the very moment. The feelings you have are mostly caused by your hormonal situation. Rest a lot, let your fantastic husband take care of the three musketeers and continue dreaming of those two beautiful girls you will see soon. :-)

  78. Emma

    You are such a wonderful mother! You have so much love for your family, it warms my heart and I just love reading your thoughts. As I am not a mother myself, I am 1 of 5 children, and growing up I often felt like my family was all over the place, but the daily love and support from my family is and will always be my greatest memory. I felt there was always a little craziness, on a daily basis :-), but it was my wonderful family craziness and I cherish it. I wish you and your family all of the greatest!!

  79. Leigh

    I have wanted to comment for a while to say that it has been such a pleasure reading your blog over the past few years – especially now! I am also pregnant (due in May) and moved out of NYC less than a year ago (I miss the city!). It is always such a joy to read about you and your lovely family (and now it is so exciting to get to read about your pregnancy experience as I go through my own). Never apologize for being real, you have one of the best attitudes out there (even if you are feeling down)! Thank you for continuing to be my window into NYC and motherhood :). Hang in there!

  80. Thanks for keeping it real. I too felt similar to you during the last few months of pregnancy with my son. U got this mama! Don’t be too hard on yourself.

  81. Fatlume Qerkinaj

    You are such an inspiration! Sending lots of love from Germany!

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