nursing.

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nursing1

one of the things i have loved most about these last four years as a mother, has been my experience nursing my babies! i know not everyone is able to or chooses to, and it also might not be a pleasant experience at times for many women, but for me, it’s been incredible and has made me feel very grateful, especially since others aspects of having kids hasn’t come easily.

for example, i’m not one of those lucky ladies who blinks and suddenly is pregnant, or has had birth experiences i have all loved. when someone starts talking about how “…and then i was pregnant with twins and we weren’t even trying!” or, “and then i pushed once after my water broke 5 minutes beforehand and there was my baby!” i try to make myself feel better by telling myself, “well naomi, you’re basically a milk maid, so at least you have that!” so i know it can be hard to talk about or listen to others talk about these sorts things. but acknowledging everyone has her own trials and that nursing is different for everyone, i’d love to share a few of my own experiences and things i’ve learned along the way in case they might be helpful for anyone else!

so far, all three of my babes have been breastfed. while i was still nursing eleanor and pregnant with samson, my doctor gave me the ok to continue nursing her, and so i did through samson’s entire pregnancy and then tandem nursed (breastfeed them both) once he arrived. after a break, it’s been such a fun experience for me once again nursing conrad.  i have felt this close bond with each of my children as they often look up at me while feeding, and for me and my little ones, it’s been a really great and intimate thing.  when my day can feel hectic or rushed or my little one is frantic and unconsolable, i know that stopping whatever we’re doing and taking a moment to nurse, calms and comforts us both. it’s a really special thing.

i mentioned this in my baby essentials post last fall, but i loved reading the womanly art of breastfeeding before eleanor was born. also, if you can find a le leche league in your area, they hold several types of meetings and support groups which are incredibly helpful too as you get started.

over the last few years, i’ve pretty much ditched the slings and blankets often sold that you can nurse under mainly because my kids were always pulling them off and hated being covered up. so instead, i try to always wear a really loose shirt or button down that has a lot of “give” so i can lift it up a bit and still tuck the fabric around his or her head somewhat and be modest while nursing in public. side note, i laughed SO hard the first time i saw this commercial, because that “first time mom” was so me with eleanor during her first months of life. if we were out, i felt i had to find a restroom and nurse her in a bathroom stall, because i just wasn’t comfortable with it yet and truly felt like it was the only way. it’s different for everyone, and like all things in motherhood, i don’t believe there is only one correct way to do it, but i really appreciate that here in new york city, no one even looks at you twice while you’re nursing in public.  but i also think i’ve figured out how to be pretty discrete about it, although i’m sure i’ve accidentally flashed someone somewhere once. :\

below is a quick round up of a few nursing friendly tops and dresses… they are also great options for those several months after baby arrives when you aren’t feeling totally ready to get back into your regular wardrobe and appreciate anything with a little extra room as your body adjusts to its new self (at least in my case)…

nursingfriendly-clothes

1. tisket popover
2. color block boyfriend shirt
3. dip-dye linen tunic
4. summer winds dress
5. spot printed blouse
6. striped cowl dress
7. color block high neck tunic
8. collarless denim shirt

it can also be helpful to keep track of your feedings during the first few weeks as a new breastfeeding mama, until you and your little one find your own groove.  there are several apps that are great at tracking feedings as well as sleep and wet diapers, like this one. eventually, you’ll find a pattern or schedule that works for you.  although i prefer nursing on demand, rather than keeping to a schedule.  when i’m trying to get out the door with my little ones, i like to have everything ready to go, bag packed, coats on even, and then nurse conrad one last time as the final thing i do.

i also use nursing pads during the first few months as my milk supply and self get acquainted.  and i’m still always on the hunt for a better nursing bra option (do you have one you love?) but this bravado seamless nursing bra has been my best find so far.   and even after my pregnancy ends, i keep taking my prenatal vitamin while nursing, as my doctors have always recommended.  also, you can never drink enough water while you nurse! so keep a water bottle on you if you can.

i wanna wrap this little post up with a thought based on some of the best mama wisdom i ever got. basically, you know you, and you know your baby best. educate yourself with all the options and advice you can, but then find the way or method that works best for you and your little one, and don’t let anyone make you feel like your choice is second best. 


(ps. i’m wearing these boots in the top picture. i’m asked every time i post pics in them where they are from, so i am trying to remember to share that sort of thing at the bottom of the post more often. and yes, they are rain boots, but yes, they are very comfortable, so i tend to wear them everywhere in this city.)

  1. Dearest Taza, never in my life had I thought I’d read a post about nursing and then continue to save the link for future purposes! I’ve said it many many times before but you inspire me so so much. One day when I get to be a mamma, I will have so many wise lessons to read back from you! Lots of love,
    Yara

  2. I am not a mom (yet) and don’t know crap about nursing, but wanted to say thanks for mentioning in the beginning snot not being the typical pregnancy situation. My hubby and I have been trying and it’s been hard and it’s refreshing to hear others are the same way too. Thank you for that!

  3. Alida

    You go Taza! It’s wonderful that you chose nursing and did it for so long. I can just say, as an encouragement for anyone out there who needs it, that the 1st 6 weeks of nursing both my boys was extremely painful for me. Contacting La Leche, and trying feeding lying down tummy to tummy worked for me. I ended up feeding them pain free, both for over a year. Was so glad I pressed through because of the health benefits to all of us, and also how easy it was not to worry about bottles and other issues. And the bonding is awesome.

  4. Chelsea

    I love this sweet post. I have nursed four little bugs, and like you- I love it. I love the 15-20 minutes that I get to sit and be quiet and take time to just snuggle. It did not go well with my first, in fact it was terrible, but we stuck it out until around 8 months when we finally got the hang of it. Egads it was difficult, but since then it has been easy. Although you would think I would get better at the whole nursing in public thing. I still feel weird and go to the bathroom or car. I really should just get over it. Have a great weekend!

    http://www.hollandsreverie.blogspot.com

  5. Jennifer

    I also have really enjoyed nursing my three, and agree it’s an incredibly boding experience. One I feel very thankful for.
    But I do have to add that you have had three children in a very short time frame. Yet you claim that getting pregnant doesn’t come easily to you. I think for women who truly do not ‘blink’ and get pregnant your comment is laughable and almost insulting. It seems like you were clutching at straws when trying to find something that wasn’t easy for you.
    I only mention it because you have previously alluded to not getting pregnant quickly, and that idea just seems absurd. With you three kids in four years.

    • TAZA

      thanks for your comment. glad you’ve enjoyed nursing as well, jennifer. i can see how someone might wonder about the point you raised. however, it seems you are making a lot of assumptions about how long it took us to get pregnant for each of our children and that you are assuming you have all the details about each process for our pregnancies. i’m not trying to insult anyone else who is trying to have a baby (i know firsthand how hurtful women can be to each other). on the contrary, i recognize that women all have their own difficulties and burdens to deal with. your comment is hurtful and insensitive to my own experiences and i wonder about its purpose. i’m very grateful to have been able to have these three babes close together.

  6. Alanna

    Always enjoy reading your posts! Such great words and tips! Have you ever done a post on dressing “the bump”? Not seeing anything on your blog. LOVE your style!

  7. I love that nursing is “your thing”! I think it’s awesome to be aware of the things you rock at, as well as the things that are hard for you. It’s also cheering to know that there are other people who aren’t blessed with the “blink and then I’m pregnant” gift. Sometimes it feels lonely being without that gift. Go you for rocking your thing and nursing those babes all over the city! Not sure if I’ll ever get to nurse a baby, but you’ve inspired me not to be nervous of it if I do!

  8. Maddie

    Lovely post, thank you!

  9. Melissa

    I really love that you are being more open and sharing the part you want to hide (typically). I think it really brings all us mamas together to support each other. xoxo to you!

  10. martine

    i am breastfeeding as i read your post! ;) i love it!

  11. Kelly

    Great post! Can you share a little about the weaning process? I assume eventually Eleanor just stopped nursing, since you were tandem nursing once S. Was born. I also think I remember you mentioning in a previous post something about weaning Samson. My babe is 12.5 months and we are moving toward weaning, but it’s so intimidating and confusing to me!

  12. Willow

    Are you kidding me? “i’m not one of those lucky ladies who blinks and suddenly is pregnant”?! You are under 30 and have three healthy and beautiful children! Are you really complaining about (I’m guessing) needing some medical help to get (and/or stay) pregnant?

    I really like this blog, but this is just a slap in the face for someone at 31, trying for more than five years, having thrown tens of thousands of Euros at doctors (and basically out the window) only to mostly not even get pregnant and if so, just to have miscarriages.

    • TAZA

      hi willow. i can see how someone might wonder about the point you raised. (i just replied to a different comment asking about this.) but you are making a lot of assumptions about how long it took us to get pregnant for each of our children and you are assuming you have all the details about the process for our pregnancies. everyone’s situation is different, and it’s important for women to be more supportive of each other and recognize that women all have their own difficulties and burdens to deal with. instead, the hurt women feel often brings out comments that make it sound like it’s a competition of suffering, or that if someone hasn’t tried as long as another woman then her trying isn’t valid or she loses. your comment is hurtful and insensitive to my own experiences, and i am sorry that you and others struggle and worry about getting pregnant. i’m very grateful to have been able to have my three babes close together. having struggled in my own way in the past has made me all the more grateful for each and every one.

  13. hanna

    Love all your tips. Thanks for sharing. –Hanna Lei

  14. Katie

    Well, maybe you have to do more than blink, but three kids ages four and under suggests you do not have it that bad!

  15. KAC

    Thank you for this post. You always take the time to be very conscientious to note how everyone’s experiences are different. I especially appreciate how you make a point to try and focus on what you do rock at when faced with what you wish was easier. For me, I was terrible at being pregnant and totally rocked the labor/delivery! I also was not able to nurse and had to pump. I have found it quite bizarre how mothers were quick to judge my choice to pump without even knowing my difficulty. Reading this post was beautiful though and reminds me that this is always a safe space to feel good about my choices and celebrate motherhood. Thank you!

  16. I love this…while I fully know that not everyone can or chooses to breastfeed, it is definitely a great thing to be able to. So much easier and so much love! And on that milkmaid note? Yep…daughter is almost two and I’m over here practically unable to not get engorged. Yikes! XO Chelsea play. wash. rinse. repeat.

  17. Christy

    Naomi, I too appreciated your comment about getting pregnant not being the easiest. I think people often assume that when someone becomes pregnant it was their first month trying. I also think women don’t speak up enough about their own process and we allow the thoughts to go that way. My husband and I were married April 2014 with a picture perfect wedding and honeymoon, yet we’ve been trying to conceive since – with no one knowing. I actually had an appointment yesterday to discuss with my doctor our next options. I do believe that we will become pregnant on our own soon and I know when we announce it will be assumed that our picture perfect life was blessed quickly with a child as soon as we wanted. I do plan to speak to the fact that it was a process for us, but for now I’m looking for the courage just to tell my mother. Thanks for the post! Lovely as always.
    xo

  18. Caitlyn

    THANK you, Naomi!! This was very helpful, and I ordered the maternity bra! Thanks for putting yourself and what you’ve learned out to the public. I wish others could be more supportive, because as humans, we are all in this together. And helping each other along the way would do our world some good :).

  19. KAC

    And, on a separate note, my husband and I struggled for two years and two miscarriages before we were able to have our son. Not for one second was I insulted by Naomi’s comment on her own issues. Absolutely no one should ever diminish someone’s journey to motherhood just because it ended with a baby (or three). I know exactly what Naomi meant when she said “blink and pregnant” and I’ve totally known people who were able to do that! Please people get a grip and do not be so quick to judge.

  20. Kim

    Thank you for your honesty in this post, it was exactly the reminder I needed. We have just started trying and even though it hasn’t been very long, it can be really discouraging and feel like it will never happen. It’s just really helpful to see someone go through that too and come out on the other end, I wish more women would open up about this. I really am sorry to see some of the previous comments criticisms, and I just want to thank you for encouraging me today, and for sharing your experience.

  21. I understand of course why it’s easy to take issue with the suggestion that you found it hard to get pregnant when you’ve had three healthy pregnancies close together. At first, it hurt me too, as someone who wasn’t able to make it to her third trimester. But you explained it beautifully when you said that everyone has their own trials and experience. Just because someone else has it worse, does not negate your own pain!

    We all have the right to feel how we feel about our pregnancies and births (or lack thereof), ESPECIALLY since the experience of becoming a mother is SO incredibly fraught with ideas of beauty and perfection and so much judgement. The reality is that the dream of pregnancy and motherhood isn’t actually what happens for (i think) most women. Even if it seems like someone else’s journey was way better than yours, it doesn’t mean they don’t carry their own conflicted feelings about it.

    I haven’t ever commented here, but I just wanted to pipe up on this post. I think it’s important that we be open about this stuff and support one another. We all struggle sometimes.

  22. steph o

    Love this post! I am days away from weaning my 14 month old, as determined by her and gently encouraged by me :). In addition to your clothing tips, I wanted to add my two cents. Firstly, I never bothered to buy nursing tanks, instead I got tanks with stretch in them and wore them under a shirt. I’d pull the tank neck down and the outer shirt up to nurse in public. Also, nursing upright in an ErgoBaby carrier was a lifesaver! Great for planes or when you’re somewhere you can’t sit comfortably.
    On another note, I feel for both you and the ladies who are upset about your allusions to previous conceiving difficulties. Having a baby doesn’t diminish the sometimes very long and difficult journey to that point. I am glad that your struggles ended in 3 wonderful children (thus far!) and I hope the frustrated commenters are able to have such wonderful resolutions to their struggles as well. It took me a year and lots of Clomid to get pregnant with my first. 14 months later, I’m currently in shock from a surprise pregnancy we found out about on Valentine’s Day! As you said, no one truly knows what others have struggled with. I appreciate your compassion towards those who are lashing out due to having a really tough time. And to those who are struggling, hang in there. It’s so so hard to want a baby and not have it happen when you want/need it to. Chances are, your little one will come eventually and all the misery and crap will be worth it. Until then, hugs to all.

  23. Chelsea

    Thanks for this post, Naomi! I am 20 weeks pregnant with my first and suddenly my ears perk up at information like this. I’ve been following your blog for a few years now and love so much about how you and Josh parent. I’d love to see you write more about these kinds of motherhood journeys for you…though I can see why you don’t, because of the kinds of negative comments like a few I see above. Try not to let that get to you—the fact is, if you are wanting to be pregnant and it’s not happening, whether it’s one month of getting that unwanted period or two years, it’s hard. And I love what you said about it not being a competition of suffering, or someone’s suffering not being valid because someone else suffered more/longer. I think we all need to be sensitive and careful to one another about things like that, but at the end of the day, that competitive spirit only hurts women. Thanks for being honest even though I’m sure you anticipated some backlash.

  24. Kailey Fisher

    What a wonderful post. I’m not a mother (yet!) but I love reading about your experiences. Your honesty about your experiences with pregnancy and parenting are refreshing and lovely, and I always appreciate your understanding of everyone’s individual journey – that is particularly rare given the amount of judgment that parents often face today.

    I am so looking forward to having little babes of my own and I am excited to refer back to these posts then!

  25. Melanie

    Hi Naomi, I really enjoyed this post and related a lot to what you said. I have a question for you, but feel free to ignore it if it is too personal. Was Samson fully weaned before you got pregnant with Conrad or were you still nursing and able to get pregnant?

  26. Rachel

    love this post! just wanted to say that i am so impressed with your replies to the negative comments. you’re amazing!!

  27. Love this! It’s been pinned – i’m so glad that today with blogs and social media, breast feeding has so much more advocacy and voice!

    Warm Regards,
    Alexandra
    http://www.littlewildheart.com

  28. nicole

    Naomi!
    I love love love this post! I’m totally one of those people who nothing came easy, except the breastfeeding. We had to go through IVF to get our little miracle, but she latched right on, and I’m still nursing, with plenty of milk! My little one HATES being covered up too.
    I tried so many nursing bras, but I found this one, http://www.target.com/p/women-s-nursing-comfort-sleep-bra-gilligan-o-malley/-/A-13568139#prodSlot=medium_1_4&term=nursing+bras
    It’s the best, I bought it in all colors.
    Thanks for the awesome post!

  29. I am very thankful for your posts like this. It helps me because breastfeeding was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But also the most rewarding! I was going to ask you about the weaning process but I saw the previous comments! Thank you for all of your motherly advice Naomi!

    http://pepperexpress.blogspot.com/

  30. Carla Lauti

    I love reading about nursing. I think as a first time mom, it’s my favorite topic! It’s kind of a love-hate topic with my husband though. He still isn’t used to it AT ALL! It’s still super weird and cringing to him, unless we’re at home and no one else is around. So I think I need to get him to read more on nursing. Maybe that’s something you could talk about in the future, how your husband reacted to nursing, unless he was fine with it and there’s not much to say, theeeen that’s okay :) Thanks for sharing, though!

  31. margaux

    love your post. i’m always looking for nursing-friendly tops (that also make it easy to pump at work!), so thank you!

    my hands-down favorite nursing bra is the elomi molded nursing bra. it’s great for larger-cupped girls who want a little support. normal, non-wire nursing bras just don’t give me a lick of shape, so this has been awesome for work or for when i left the house in the early days and wanted to look like i had 2 breasts instead of one. ( :

  32. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Naomi. As you well know, blogging about these sensitive subjects treads on unsteady grounds. Thank you for setting the positive example of sticking up for yourself in the face of readers who feel threatened. You set a wonderful example to us novice bloggers who might face these negative comments in the future. Stay strong, girl! :)

    Circus & Bloom
    ♥♥♥

  33. Ananda Carr

    Maybe it would be nice for you to share your struggle with getting pregnant or miscarriage if you’re going to reference it? I’m sure it’s a very personal struggle, though (so, clearly for you to decide)! As someone who has gotten pregnant pretty easy, I can see where your reference (to it not being so easy for you) could hurt others who are struggling with infertility. I think vaugeness on this kind of subject matter when you do have children so close in age might just make it hard for others to understand?

    That being said, I think we all say things and then our audience doesn’t completely understand (for lack of information). So, there’s no reason for anyone to be insensitive to your personal struggle. Please know that I am truly sorry for difficulty you’ve had!. But you sure do have 3 precious littles now, so praise God!!!! You’re family is beautiful , and I hope you have grown thru your struggles even if you never chose to share them!

  34. karla

    OMG i also nursed inside a bathroom stall at first cause i was so uncomfortable to nurse in public (when i cant find nursing rooms) then i found out it’s easier to wear loose shirt/button down with a tube inside!

    you’re one great mama, naomi!

  35. Meg

    Oh, Naomi, you are so wonderful. This is exactly what I’ve been needing to hear. I’m 37 weeks pregnant with our first baby girl & I’m overly stressed about nursing. This definitely calmed my nerves. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  36. Caitlyn

    If you like top #8 (and/or anything else from Gap today), don’t forget to use code MAJOR for 30% off!

  37. First of all, I love your blog. I almost go on it everyday at work so see if you’ve posted something new. I’m 24 and I’ve been in a relationship for a little over a year and BY NO MEANS am I close to having babies or starting a family but I LOVE THIS BLOG SO MUCH.
    This post is really cute and I have no idea about breastfeeding or getting preggers. I read the above comments and it hurts me to see that some people are attacking you about “i dont have babies in a blink of an eye”. Readers don’t know you and your family. They only know what you display and I think it is really rude that readers are attacking you and what you wrote when you simply just wanted to make a disclaimer that every woman has their own difficulties when going through a pregnancy. And with this disclaimer..people STILL had to attack at the fact you made that comment while having 3 babies within 4 years. It just makes me so angry for you!
    Dont listen to them! Do you girl! You’re the best and I hope this comment makes you feel better because you are awesome!
    P.S I can’t wait to go to NYC this summer! Hopefully you plan a meetup :P
    P.P.S Hi Josh, E, S, and baby C!

  38. Abbey

    I get it. I know a lot of people here are saying “oh but you have so many little kids you can’t have struggled!” but I had my daughter just weeks after you had Samson and then I had my twins just weeks before you had Conrad and in between my daughter and my twins…. a lot happened. And before my daughter was born a lot happened. There were doctors and losses and drugs and injections and while now others look at me and see 3 kids under 3 and think wow you’re so lucky (and of course I am!) also, you know, a lot happened. Just because we know have what we always wanted (and more to be honest) it doesn’t really invalidate everything that we went through to get there. Now, after nursing my older daughter and successfully nursing my twins I feel sort like you do, like thats the thing I’m great at, and its nice.

  39. Allison

    I just love this post. Thank you for sharing!! I am nursing my forth little one right now and I am desperate for some cute nursing compatible shirts! Thank you!! Your family is adorable!

  40. Sara

    beautiful post

  41. Katie

    Thanks for posting this. I’m going to reread the weaning post (we’re at almost 2 years with my first and still going strong, but hoping weaning will come naturally before too much longer). I love this post and that you are sharing your experience. Definitely agree we all need to go a lot easier on each other and realize that everyone has their various struggles of various kinds. I see what you were trying to say, which is that it’s easy to get down on yourself and better to try and realize it is all relative and could always be worse. Everyone has their struggles, and being a mother isn’t easy. Thanks for posting this and continuing an important, supportive discussion!

  42. Megan

    I love this post and I agree with everything you said! I also had a difficult time getting pregnant. It took about 10 months and I know to some that might seem like nothing, but for me it seemed like forever. Mainly because my husband and I waited, because he had been laid off several times. Everyone’s experience and struggle is unique and there is no point for judgement!!
    Breastfeeding did not come easy to me, but once I got it – I loved it. I tell anyone to give it 2 weeks, if you can get through that time, things fall into place.
    Finally, I wanted to ask a question to you and whoever else is reading this. My husband kind of feels left out with the breastfeeding. I have tried pumping and allowing him to give the expressed milk to her in a bottle, but she will not take it. We have tried different bottles and nothing seems to work.
    Any suggestions?

  43. steph o

    At some point, could you write a post on navigating with a double stroller? I love my jogging stroller and want to get the double version when our next one arrives…but I have no idea how I’d navigate stores and even some sidewalks with it being so wide. Thanks :)

  44. Dayle

    I love this post. My experience with breastfeeding has been similar to yours. I’ve loved it and am incredibly grateful I have been able to do it. It’s obvious some are making assumptions on your post and that is unfair. Sometimes people can just be too sensitive and offend easily and in turn last out and hurt others. Your experiences and feelings are valid. Thank you for sharing them. I also appreciate that you replied to the other comments instead of just deleting or ignoring them.

  45. Ellen

    Thanks for sharing. I live in Europe but originally from US. My mom was asking today if I wanted a cover for when I breastfeed and I told her not to bother. It just seems silly but I do think at first it will be weird for me in public (first time mom here). I love your advice!!!

    Oh and ignore the haters!

  46. Sam

    It seems truly monstrous to me that someone else’s path to pregnancy might not be considered difficult with the excuse, “well I had it worse.” Why is it a competition? Should we only feel compassionate to those who have spent thousands of euros or had miscarriages? Of course you deserve our sympathy and understanding, but so does every single person we come in contact with, every single day. Not a single person on earth gets to say “well I had at worse. Let all of your sympathy flow towards me. I am the most deserving.” I have to imagine you wouldn’t say this to a friend who came to you and shared her troubles getting pregnant, so why share your selfishness and bitterness on the Internet?

  47. 13bees

    the bravado seamless is definitely the best!

  48. 13bees

    whoops! i meant wireless!

  49. jess

    This has been my go to nursing bra. I had bought them post pardum and now that we’re almost at one year, my size has definitely gone down to a more manageable level, so I just ordered a few more. LOVE them!

  50. awlsn

    Thanks for sharing, and for being conscientious of differing experiences. I wasn’t able to nurse any of my babies, although I tried with every one, and I can’t tell you how judged and belittled I felt. Especially after my first baby, as everything was so new and I wasn’t sure if I was doing anything right! I remember a formula being recalled with my second baby, which resulted in a trip to the ER, and women posting really unkind things on message boards like, “Haha, that’s why breast is best!” I couldn’t believe a person, especially a fellow mother, could be so unfeeling. Obviously, you’ve experienced this firsthand, and it’s good to see you standing up for yourself. You are an amazing woman. Keep doing your thing!

  51. Laurie

    What a great post! I’ve been thinking about this a great deal with a baby on the way. Thank you for sharing your insight and information. I truly appreciate it.

  52. Mallory

    Love this post! It took me a few months nursing before I really stopped caring about a cover, which my baby had no patience for, and the struggle to keep it on drew way more attention than anything else! When I was a bit self conscious about lifting a shirt and flashing a tummy I wasn’t comfortable with yet after giving birth, a loose top over a nursing tank was my go-to. I’m a big proponent that women should be comfortable nursing in public without a cover. The sexualized state of boobs in this country needs a lot of work!

    I was extremely fortunate and blessed to quickly conceive, have a great pregnancy and delivery, and a wonderful nursing experience, but the first 6 months I dealt with post-partum anxiety that filled my evenings and nights with dread and cast a shadow on those wonderful (if exhausting and difficult) newborn months. Every woman has their own hurdles, and we should all support each other without comparison. It makes me sad to read the comments judging your particular struggles instead of recognizing the individuality of everyone’s personal battles and focusing on uplifting all women and mothers.

  53. susanne

    haha, so funny the “bravado” is your favorite! when i was expecting my daughter and asked my nursing-expirienced friends about nursing-bras they all told me to get the bravado! and though i’ve had others as well this on a was my favorite by far.
    and thanks on your “mama wisdom” because it is so so true!
    being a midwife i’ve always told all the mamas-to-be whom i had the honor to attend to, to do whatever feels right, regardless of what others may say. even more so since i became a mama myself!

  54. Kaitlin

    This is extremely insensitive to women with fertility issues. And honestly, not at all relevant to a conversation about breastfeeding.

  55. Alanna

    This is a wonderful post. I have one little guy who I am still nursing (he will be 2 in less than a month).
    Not everything about motherhood or pregnancy has been easy for me as well. I just want to say thank you for writing about your experiences. From what I read on here I think you are a wonderful person and mamma.
    I wish people wouldn’t judge you or your family based on what they read. It makes me sad to read some of the comments (and on some other blogs I really like- who are also mom’s as well). i don’t normally comment, but I just wanted to say something nice to help brighten your day. The world has enough negativity. I agree we can be so mean to each other.

    Enjoy your beautiful day (it’s sunny here in Ottawa,Canada) and I hope you are enjoy some sun too :)

    All the best :)

  56. Alana Gardner

    Hi Taza,

    This is my first blog comment ever! I love your blog, and your cute family! Just wanted to add my 2 cents, that I am 23 and currently 27 weeks pregnant. We started trying right away after we got married in 2012 as I had a feeling getting pregnant would be difficult due to my irregular cycles. I was happy I listened to that feeling because I was right! It took 1 year of trying, plus another year of using clomid, and the gonal f injections…. month after month I was getting so used to the dissapointment and felt so depressed and unsuccessful… everywhere I looked it seemed like pregnancy and children were staring at me! I was so lucky I finally got pregnant after 2 years on my first cycle of the gonal f injections… but let me tell you that was a very very hard 2 years with lots of doubt in my faith, lots of prayers, lots of tears, and alot of stress and worry!

    I am sure there are people who have tried much longer then me, and I am sure that people look at me at 23 … almost 24 ;)… and think that … 1. I am crazy for being such a young mom, 2. lucky to be able to get pregnant so young, 3… have no idea it took me two long years… 4… you get the idea…

    I don’t know what your story to get pregnant was, I know that for me it is a sensitive thing that I dont share to frequently, but what I do know is that during those years I followed your beautiful family, hoping one day I could share the same things with my own. I had no idea that made you shared a simular jouney too! Just goes to show jelousy is never a good emotion to let get the best of you!

    But long story short, I am sorry that people are minimizing your journey just because it may look different to theirs. I know that those months of trying are GRUELING… can a month feel any longer?????? Whether is 6 months, a year, 5 years… when you decide you want a family and you have no idea when and if that will happen.. it is soooo hard! It doesnt matter the time frame, or how it happens.

    I hope my thoughts make sense, just wanted to tell you that I do understand! You are an inspiration to me, and I admire your faith and how you raise your family!

    Love your post!

  57. Carrie

    I have to tell you that I love this post! I am currently nursing my 8 month old daughter and I feel that nursing has been one of my most favorite and cherished parts of motherhood so far. I know that a lot of women have struggles with it, and there were challenges for me in the beginning as well, but it is so worth it. The bonding, the relaxing, and the magical ability to calm and comfort my baby at any moment is such a wonderful feeling. I honestly feel sorry for moms who choose not to nurse, as they miss out on something very special, not to mention the benefits for the baby.
    Thank you!

  58. sympathy

    Hi Naomi,

    It is great to read your response to the negative comments. I hear you. The negative comments reminded me of the other negative comments I read on TTC forums. (I stopped reading them). One woman was saying that “she can’t believe a smoker was having a baby and she cannot.” She even thought the smoking mother did not deserve the baby. I am appalled because I always ask “who are we to decide who’s more worthy of having a baby?” Someone else might as well think what we do is unbelievable or not “right”. I just had a miscarriage, a very early one. Even before the miscarraige, during our trying months, I felt upset when my friends, with good intentions (I know), say that “soo hurry up so and so are having their second kid”… I want to say that I had a miscarriage and they don’t know a thing but then I don’t want to deal with “ooo I am sorry” or “don’t worry it will happen again” stuff. Cherish the time you spend with your babies as I know you do. Lots of LOVE and SUPPORT to you and thanks for opening up on a difficult subject.

  59. Beth

    Fertility is such a touchy issue because for a lot of us it ties in to how we feel about ourselves as women and our place in this world. I’ve watched a close childhood friend struggling for nearly ten years to conceive with her husband but another friend who was just as devastated because she had an early miscarriage her first time trying. Both of their pain is valid, both struggles are real and all we can really do is try to be sensitive and realize everyone is fighting their own battles.

    Beth

    http://haphazardlyher.com

  60. Alicia

    Thank you for this post and for sharing your experience. I think you’re just wonderful. Don’t let the negative people in this world get you down. I don’t understand why people assume to know everything about someone else’s life / struggles, especially when that person is a stranger on the Internet! Everyone is facing challenges, whether they choose to talk about them or not is a different story.

  61. Jennifer

    I would like to apologize for the comment I made earlier. By way of explanation I did indeed blink and get pregnant. While people whom I love have struggled. Heartbreakingly. It’s with the guilt that I feel that I commented on your post. Of course your blog is not always a direct reflection of what may be going on in your life. I feel a little embarrassed my intention was not to be hurtful.

  62. Ali

    I literally opened this post this morning as I am sitting here nursing! Breastfeeding is still bittersweet for me at the moment…having lots of trouble with latching etc but feel very grateful to live in a country (nz) where there is a huge emphasis on breastfeeding (if possible for you) and lots of support and perseverance. I am so hoping it gets easier each day and I’m able to experience the joys! Good on you for sharing your experiences. We all have different struggles and journeys which can never be compared, just because it’s not the same as someone else’s it doesn’t dismiss it. Now to find some nursing clothes….

  63. Alice

    Hi Naomie,

    Thank for being open with these topics. It’s always interresting to read someone’s experience and perception. I dont know why but i always felt very inconfortable with the idea of nursing. I even remember being very ambarrassed when my mum nursed my little brother in public (I was 8). I hope my perception will change and it certainly helps to read that it is a positiv and enjoyable experience for you.
    Love.

  64. Louise

    Dear lovely you –

    Love nursing my little daughter and feel the same as you with “a least that’s working really super duper great”

    Found this amazing nursing bra from Carriwell. It looks great on with a little lace going on on top, super cute, holds everything in place and is organic cotton…amazing!

    http://www.carriwell.com/organic/cotton_nursing_bra.asp

  65. Debb

    Hi Naomi! I really enjoyed reading this post because I, too am a nursing momma, and have really loved my time nursing my 15month old. At what age did you stop nursing both Eleanor and Samson? Did you have to stop, or did they want to stop on their own? I’m having trouble weaning him, for multiple reasons. I would just like some advice or to know I’m not alone in this? I love that you did tandem nursing as well, would you do that in public or only home? Thanks so much!

  66. Anne

    Naomi this is such a great post! As a fellow milk maid I have to agree with everything you said!

    The Hills Are Alive

  67. Sienna

    Thanks so much for sharing. I am so angry for you at some of the hurtful comments above and really respect your ability to respond in such an understanding and tactful way.
    I personally was unable to breastfeed with my first baby, something I still struggle with, but am just so grateful for the experience to be a momma! And certainly plan to give it my all again with the next one, so found these tips very helpful. I love your attitude and acceptance that we each have our own struggles. Wishing you and your family all the best!

  68. Maria

    Hi Naomi,
    I am breastfeeding my 4 months old baby and from the moment she was born I tried to find the best way to feed her in public.
    I did not want to spend lots of money in nursing clothes and one day I found some tops that go until below the breast. You just pull up your shirt without leaving the belly out. I use it every time I go out and know that I will have to breastfeed.

    http://www.breastvest.co.uk/

    All the best!

  69. vicky

    I love reading these posts and even love going to comments to see if you’ve replied to another person’s question that maybe I was thinking of asking already – just to make sure I don’t ask twice if you’ve already answered.

    it’s a bit hurtful for me to see people sort of ‘lash out’ at you for just making statements about your own lifestyle. this is your blog. you always respond very cordially, which makes me respect you even more. since day 1 of reading your blog, i’ve soaked up every single bit of advice you’ve given and pocketed it. you’ve got some wisdom and i would gladly take it from you any day via blog posts!

    all of the women in my family have struggled to breast feed (or maybe just don’t believe in doing it) and, when the time is right, i’m glad i’ve read and taken all of the advice i can get (from all of my favorite bloggers) to apply to my first pregnancy/nursing stages/little baby. thank you, Naomi! you’ve helped me so much already just through the blog world ;)

  70. Jessica

    I’m glad you shared your struggle with having children. I’m 32 and I have been trying for 4yrs ivf, iuis and so on. When I feel like I cant have another injection or try again another month I go to your blog. I look at your family and it makes me able to try again.

  71. Robin

    Thank you for this post! I am still nursing my 15 month old daughter and I’m not really sure what to do about weaning during pregnancy. She still loves nursing but I worry if I wait to wean her until after the baby arrives she will be resentful of the new little one. A little intimidated to be a mama of two now that our little family of three has found our “groove”. Thanks for always giving a good heap of “here is why family life is awesome” with a dash of “but sometimes it’s not”.

  72. Sarah P.

    Naomi,
    After reading some of the comments responding critically to your post I felt the need to say Thanks.
    Thanks for sharing your life and your family. Yours is a brave soul to life in the public eye. As one who constantly strives to improve on being a mom, wife, person … I very much enjoy following the posts of women like you. Those women who are living life to the best of their ability and learning from the process. So … Thank you.
    PS ~ your babies are beautiful and anyone can plainly see, they are very much loved. Also, the Bravado nursing bra was my favorite … and I tried several!
    Sarah P.

  73. Chelsey

    I’m so sorry a few people have posted insensitive comments about this post. I’m sitting here nursing while I read it! Your journey is yours alone, we are lucky to have a small window into peices of it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. All the love in the world to your little fam-jam.

  74. Lillian

    Thank you for always being as honest and open as you can on this blog. Sometimes I wonder how you do it when I read the comments from women who feel personally vindicated by your posts. I just have to say you handle these situations with a lot of grace and restraint.

    Keep doing you. Your babies are beautiful no matter how they got here.

    x- Lillian

  75. Leanne

    Naomi,

    I so appreciate your honest, gentle and humble spirit in posts such as these. As someone who does not yet have a family but wants one someday in the future very badly, I look up to strong, loving women such as yourself when imagining how I will handle the highs and lows of life and motherhood in those days. Please know that the honesty and loving nature you bring to this space radiates inspiration in me, and I’m blessed to have discovered you and your family’s little corner of the Internet. Please, please, keep writing and posting as you do. I don’t know what I’d do without this space to turn to — even when it is just helping to fuel daydreams of my future:)

    Hoping you and your four loved ones have a cozy, blessed weekend.

    xx
    Leanne
    https://somebodysdove.wordpress.com/2015/02/20/what-we-did-for-valentines-day/

  76. Kelly

    Naomi, I totally got your post and I am a loyal reader. However, I am not sure how sensitive you were in your replies. It’s not always easy to get pregnant so you seemed even more defensive of why we should feel bad for you. Why not be sensitive to those who have responded who have been struggling for 5 years? Don’t you think they have it worse than you do? You are extremely lucky to have healthy babies. No matter what you have gone through- miscarriage, trying every month- you have three kids within four years.

    Maybe you meant to be more sensitive but that’s not how I read it (in your reply). It would help if you were more open about it with a nicer tone. Tomorrow will be a better day.

  77. Carly

    Another fabulous post! I so admire you & feel like we are kindred spirits as I have my own Eleanor (17 months) and Baby James (2 months). Keep writing, your voice is inspiring and encouraging to us mamas in the trenches :)
    This might seem like a dumb question but to nurse in the free people dress, do you just pull down the cowl neck? Lapel, the bra you mention is the best isn’t it!! Xo

  78. Kristin

    Loved this post…my little ones are 6 and 9 now and I have to say I miss nursing them soooooo much. It truly did come easy to us and it was the streets and most competent I had ever felt in my life. It was amazing meeting their nutritional and emotional needs all at once and to experience the intense bonding experience. My daughter nursed about 2 1/2 years and my son 3 1/2. So happy for your special moments too…

  79. Kristin

    Meant to say “strongest”….NOT streets! Whoops!

  80. Brittany

    Love this. I have to say, the “at least you’re a milkmaid” comment stung, having had the worst nursing experience imaginable…I’d rather go through giving birth many times over again (and I almost died!) than have to go through the struggle and excruciating pain of nursing. Pumping 8x a day only produced 1 ounce of milk after 4 months of trying & going to nursing support groups & taking supplements…I had to call it quits. I feel like such a failure and carry such guilt purchasing formula (at least I can afford the organic stuff…barely). However, though that comment stung for me on a personal level, I am genuinely HAPPY for you that you’ve had such a wonderful experience nursing. I appreciate you recognizing that it’s not easy for everyone. We all have our struggles. Just because one woman experiences pain in 1 area doesn’t mean she can’t be happy for another who has a better experience. :) We women/mothers/people should be able to put our feelings aside and just be HAPPY for others! So, I choose to be happy for you, follow along your journey, and be a genuine loving human being. Wonderful post—love how you aren’t afraid to take on controversial topics. <3

  81. Lisa

    Big loves from over the pond! I love your posts. In fact I read them at night when nursing my baby, as I’m often tired and something to stop me from falling asleep. I love all posts and like you have a 4 year old little girl and a 5wk old baby boy. So love how your posts relate to both my children. I find breast feeding toe curling painful ( yes my connection is grand just it’s early days) I do find it the easy option though as in the middle of the night & no faffing with formula. Thank you for your post/s. We downloaded the Dr Pepi and Magic books reading app and my daughter love, love, loves them both. Your right as mums we know our babas better than anyone.

  82. Jackie

    Mothers are really terrible to each other! We really should all just get along.
    Your blog is lovely and i look forward to your posts.

  83. Kathryn

    Hi! I love your blog and reading about your cute, cute family. Thank you for all the great tips and for sharing your life with us.

    I love love love those boots ever since you posted them on your favourite boot list but CANNOT find them anywhere in my size and that ship to Canada. Do you know of any shops I can try?

    Thanks!
    K

  84. Stella

    I usually can’t read blog posts about nursing because it’s still too painful of a topic for me. My daughter is 8.5 months and we weren’t able to nurse past the first month. Even though it has been very sad for me, I am happy for the women I know who are able to breastfeed successfully! I wanted to say thank you for how respectful you always are of mothers’ choices and how much you stand up for women supporting each other. I was incredibly lucky to basically blink and become pregnant and have a near perfect birth experience. Breastfeeding was my trial and you’re right that every mother struggles with different things and I wish we would all just support each other instead of judging and making things into a competition! I was sad about a few of the insensitive comments people made on this post. You rock, Naomi. I’m always impressed with your ability to stand up for yourself in the kindest, most respectful way.

  85. Patricia

    Loved this post on nursing! For some reason, I feel it’s still a very taboo topic or something that needs to be covered up! It’s refreshing to see it portrayed as what it is – healthy and natural and nothing to be ashamed of. I really enjoy your honesty about your personal struggles and about your day to day life. You are absolutely right – no one’s life is perfect, we all have obstacles on our path. It’s how we react to these obstacles that determines our true strength and integrity.

    A small note on some of the negative & hurtful comments: as women, and mothers, we need to support one another and stop comparing & judging, Everyone’s situation is different, everyone’s children are unique, let’s try not to bring each other down, but instead lift each other up!

    From one mom to another, thank you for sharing such genuine honest tidbits of your life.

    Patricia

  86. Krystal

    I’ve been a reader for a while, and I’m 36 weeks pregnant with my first child (!) I have been stressing over nursing, and so many of the things you wrote in this post put me right at ease when I read it yesterday. Your point of view is so spot-on while still being humble and respectful. I want to thank you so much for putting so much of yourself out there, as I imagine it must be difficult with the criticism you get in your comments, but many of us first time moms look up to you and appreciate your viewpoints so much. Thank you!

  87. Addie

    Ahh… Nursing is such a sore subject for me! I love to hear about other women’s positive experiences, but for me it was nothing but frustration mixed with the worst pain in my life, no matter how long I stuck it out or how many lactation specialists tried to help me. So, thank you for acknowledging that not everyone can or chooses to nurse (and that it’s ok). All women should be encouraged to try, but shouldn’t be made to feel bad if it just doesn’t work out. My mom breastfed all three of us kids for a year and my difficult experience has made me appreciate her even more. I wasn’t able to stick it out for a year with either of my children, but if I ever have a third, I will certainly give it another try! Reading about your success gives me hope :)

  88. Lucie

    Dear Taza,

    thank you very much for this post and especialy for the “what to wear” tips. My son hates to be covered as well, he constantly pulls at everything I try to put over him… One can find nice maternity clothes relatively easily but to find nice breastfeeding appropriate clothes is an almost impossible task!

    I come from a country where breastfeeding is pretty normal (Czech Republic) and live in the European country with the smallest percentage of breastfeeding mums (France). At first, I was not sure about breastfeeding in public when so few people do it, but I try to be modest and I really appreciate the fact that I can feed my little anywhere.

    Breatfeeding is great, I am grateful I can feed my son this way. Now that he starts to eat vegetables, it makes me a bit sad to realize we won’t share those beautiful moments for that much longer…

    Thank you again for posting this, you have lovely babies.
    Lucie

  89. I love this photo! Nursing my babes has been the best. Now that I am older, more mature, and wiser I wish I could go back and nurse my first two longer. I was a poor newly married college student and couldn’t afford a pump so I rushed nursing and getting them on milk too soon. My third born nursed for 16 months and baby number four is 8 months strong. I selfishly hope he will continue to nurse for awhile longer since he is the last one. The days are long and the years are so, so, so short!

  90. Madeline

    Just wanted to say that I really respect and admire the way you actually observe and take on board the bad points and always address them in such a tactful way. Great trait to have :)

  91. Mirka K

    Naomi,
    Thank you for this post. I do think there is very little said about breastfeeding and its value vs formula in media all around the world at the moment. Probably because of the economical perspective and big companies producing formula as well.
    I myself have 2 little babies 3 ys old Julianna and 11 ms old Jacob. Both Breastfeed. Julianna for almost 2 ys and Jacob still without plans for stopping anytime soon. I do strongly belive that stories like yours have HUGE Power in pushing the knowledge to other people. If not for my mum and my ant BF I wouldn’t BF my kids. I think you have to be exposed to this as well as hear about from other.

    Thank you again for your lovely post.
    PS your photo from this post is my favorite for very long time.

    Loads of love Mirka from Dublin/Ireland

  92. Brooke

    People should be careful what they say in their comments! My sister tried for 5 years to have a baby, then after much thought and prayer decided to adopt (while still trying to get pregnant as well). Miraculously, after a year with their adopted son, they got pregnant on their own. They have since been blessed with another little bundle of joy. All three are quite close together. So from an outsiders point of view, they “have it easy” since they have three, healthy little ones of their own who are all close together. BUT, getting to that point was a roller coaster of a ride, with many, many heartaches on the way.

  93. Stephanie

    Thank you so much for sharing this story! I’ve loved watching your journey with 3 children and when I had my first baby 3 weeks ago, I hoped you may post some nursing wisdom. I’m excited to try my hand at nursing in NYC!

  94. jan

    wow. amazing. you can nurse a kid on a dirty sidewalk!!!

  95. Faith

    New reader, never posted before. Reading through the comments and just wanted to share that I feel for the women who have had trouble conceiving. And, I feel sorry that your feelings were hurt. It does seem like many women want to measure their suffering against others as some sort of badge. And, it’s just sad. I do suppose you opened that can of worms by comparing your own difficulties and allowing your breast feeding success to console you there. I’m glad you found success, no matter what time frame or road was taken to get there.

    Perhaps instead of the need to compare/contrast/measure our suffering…why not just accept we all have challenges in life. I have major depression. Because of it I only have one child. I could not handle the emotional guilt of bringing another child into my world of darkness. I am just learning now that she is six years how hard it js to parent with mental illness. If I ever meet another mom with depression, never would I ask how dark her darkest day has been. Or, how long she has suffered. One minute of pain like this would bond us. So, why the need to measure one’s suffering against your own? One day of trying and failing is still a test of resilience.

    Thank you for reminding me of the moments I shared with my girl when she breastfed. I remember the eyes locking with mine and feeling like I was a good mom. I miss those days

  96. Letishia

    Hi,
    Just curious as to how the dresses you linked are actually nursing friendly? I am struggling sooo badly with finding clothes to wear as a new mum. Something no one really warns you about. I was one of those people who conceived very easily, but pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding have been extremely challenging. The thing I remind myself of is at least I have lots of milk and a happy baby. I think its so important to remember what we can do rather than focus on what we can’t. And I especially appreciate the comments you have made about losing the competition between mothers. Thanks,
    Letishia