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one of the things i have loved most about these last four years as a mother, has been my experience nursing my babies! i know not everyone is able to or chooses to, and it also might not be a pleasant experience at times for many women, but for me, it’s been incredible and has made me feel very grateful, especially since others aspects of having kids hasn’t come easily.

for example, i’m not one of those lucky ladies who blinks and suddenly is pregnant, or has had birth experiences i have all loved. when someone starts talking about how “…and then i was pregnant with twins and we weren’t even trying!” or, “and then i pushed once after my water broke 5 minutes beforehand and there was my baby!” i try to make myself feel better by telling myself, “well naomi, you’re basically a milk maid, so at least you have that!” so i know it can be hard to talk about or listen to others talk about these sorts things. but acknowledging everyone has her own trials and that nursing is different for everyone, i’d love to share a few of my own experiences and things i’ve learned along the way in case they might be helpful for anyone else!

so far, all three of my babes have been breastfed. while i was still nursing eleanor and pregnant with samson, my doctor gave me the ok to continue nursing her, and so i did through samson’s entire pregnancy and then tandem nursed (breastfeed them both) once he arrived. after a break, it’s been such a fun experience for me once again nursing conrad.  i have felt this close bond with each of my children as they often look up at me while feeding, and for me and my little ones, it’s been a really great and intimate thing.  when my day can feel hectic or rushed or my little one is frantic and unconsolable, i know that stopping whatever we’re doing and taking a moment to nurse, calms and comforts us both. it’s a really special thing.

i mentioned this in my baby essentials post last fall, but i loved reading the womanly art of breastfeeding before eleanor was born. also, if you can find a le leche league in your area, they hold several types of meetings and support groups which are incredibly helpful too as you get started.

over the last few years, i’ve pretty much ditched the slings and blankets often sold that you can nurse under mainly because my kids were always pulling them off and hated being covered up. so instead, i try to always wear a really loose shirt or button down that has a lot of “give” so i can lift it up a bit and still tuck the fabric around his or her head somewhat and be modest while nursing in public. side note, i laughed SO hard the first time i saw this commercial, because that “first time mom” was so me with eleanor during her first months of life. if we were out, i felt i had to find a restroom and nurse her in a bathroom stall, because i just wasn’t comfortable with it yet and truly felt like it was the only way. it’s different for everyone, and like all things in motherhood, i don’t believe there is only one correct way to do it, but i really appreciate that here in new york city, no one even looks at you twice while you’re nursing in public.  but i also think i’ve figured out how to be pretty discrete about it, although i’m sure i’ve accidentally flashed someone somewhere once. :\

below is a quick round up of a few nursing friendly tops and dresses… they are also great options for those several months after baby arrives when you aren’t feeling totally ready to get back into your regular wardrobe and appreciate anything with a little extra room as your body adjusts to its new self (at least in my case)…

nursingfriendly-clothes

1. tisket popover
2. color block boyfriend shirt
3. dip-dye linen tunic
4. summer winds dress
5. spot printed blouse
6. striped cowl dress
7. color block high neck tunic
8. collarless denim shirt

it can also be helpful to keep track of your feedings during the first few weeks as a new breastfeeding mama, until you and your little one find your own groove.  there are several apps that are great at tracking feedings as well as sleep and wet diapers, like this one. eventually, you’ll find a pattern or schedule that works for you.  although i prefer nursing on demand, rather than keeping to a schedule.  when i’m trying to get out the door with my little ones, i like to have everything ready to go, bag packed, coats on even, and then nurse conrad one last time as the final thing i do.

i also use nursing pads during the first few months as my milk supply and self get acquainted.  and i’m still always on the hunt for a better nursing bra option (do you have one you love?) but this bravado seamless nursing bra has been my best find so far.   and even after my pregnancy ends, i keep taking my prenatal vitamin while nursing, as my doctors have always recommended.  also, you can never drink enough water while you nurse! so keep a water bottle on you if you can.

i wanna wrap this little post up with a thought based on some of the best mama wisdom i ever got. basically, you know you, and you know your baby best. educate yourself with all the options and advice you can, but then find the way or method that works best for you and your little one, and don’t let anyone make you feel like your choice is second best. 


(ps. i’m wearing these boots in the top picture. i’m asked every time i post pics in them where they are from, so i am trying to remember to share that sort of thing at the bottom of the post more often. and yes, they are rain boots, but yes, they are very comfortable, so i tend to wear them everywhere in this city.)

  1. Liz

    I’m not usually one for leaving comments, but this post was must appreciated. I love to hear of other mom’s expereiences through breastfeeding! My journey with breastfeeding has been a roller coaster to say the least. My little lady (my first) is turning 6 months old next week and we have made it exclusively breastfeeding- YAY! Our journey has definitely gotten easier over the last few months, but goodness, the first few were rough. I love hearing what works for other mom’s and how they choose to breastfeed in public (since we had so many challenges, I wouldn’t breastfeed in public for months). I’m just now getting the hang of it. Thank you for your inspiring post and blog. I enjoy how transparent you are with your life while trying to remain positive.

    I must ask though, how do you breastfeed in a dress?!

  2. Eileen

    Taza – This is the first time I have commented after following your blog for years! I recently found out I am pregnant with my first! A total whoops. Now more than ever I am glued to your blog and searching the archives for all your baby advice. Please! Please! keep it coming. And don’t let the insecurities of others bring you down. You are doing a great service to many.

  3. JEnn

    You publicly write about all your pregnancies on your blog. Anyone with half a brain can count the number of months between each of your children. You poor thing….you had to wait a whole 9 months to get pregnant after Eleanor? And you had to wait almost two years after Samson? OH MY GOD THAT IS SO AWFUL. You should definitely complain a lot. In particular, make sure to sob to all the women who have tried for years and YEARS, or those who have never been able to have children. We all feel SO badly for you.

  4. Raquel

    Good afternoon from spain!
    I want to tell you that i have really liked your post; specially because of the moment i’m living.
    I know you aré not an expert but sometimes what a mother needs the most is not an expert but just the experience of other mum.
    My son is now 13 months and i nurse him. Nursing has been a great experience for me as well. The tenderness of that moment is just magical and i see it as a gift. However, my son usually weaks up through the night severas times, and he needs me to nurse him to get asleep again. This situation is becoming hard the lasts weeks. I am a lawyer and i have a lot of work; sincero se don’t sleep at night i feel very tired di ring the day.. I don’y know what cand i do to make him sleep better ir to find a way to rest a little bit moré.

  5. jenni

    Thank you for this post – I have 5 kids and I am one of those that gets pregnant quickly and has smooth deliveries – no c-sections, no miscarriages, etc (I have been blessed). BUT nursing was a hellish ordeal for me, I tried with all 5, went through severe pain, frustration, tried different techniques, nipple guards, and all ended with a frustrated mom and a baby. And then the guilt of not being able to give your baby the “best” nutrition, not being able to bond, and then thinking they may not be as smart as their breast-fed peers! Sometimes, it ruined thost first few weeks of their life due to all those negative emotions! I had my 5th the first week in December, and I did try but also didn’t push it and it has been the most enjoyable post-partum experience yet. Thank you for your advice to moms to choose the best method that works best for them. Thank heavens we are in a day and age with so many things to help motherhood go more smoother, period!

  6. fawn

    “i know it can be hard to talk about or listen to others talk about these sorts things. but acknowledging everyone has her own trials and that nursing is different for everyone” ~ so thoughtful; thank you

  7. Nic

    You go girl! (I can’t really pull off saying that in the real world so I have to say it in the cyber world any chance I get.) Thanks for reminding me to find the positive! I’ve had 3 babies in 4 years and have been nursing or pregnant for 5 straight years! My body is spent BUT I’m so grateful for my babies and my body and that I too am a “milk maid”. Also I’m so glad that you don’t hide your babies when they nurse! The world needs to see more images of women using their bodies to nurture and nourish instead of objectify and sexualize!

  8. Rachel

    Thank you for sharing these tips! I’ve bookmarked this page for future use as I’m now 21 weeks pregnant with my first child.
    This is a little off topic, but I would love to get your opinion or anyone else’s on maternity bras! I’ve been very hesitant to buy new bras since I’m constantly growing, and I have no idea how many new sizes I’ll have to purchase before baby comes. Searches on the internet have just led me to nursing bras, but those don’t seem quite right for what I need now. What solutions have you found that work for you and your constantly changing body?

  9. Lucy

    Thank you for a wonderful post!

    I have a 3 year old who I feed at night occasionally and feel self-weaning will work for us this time, who knows what my breastfeeding journey will be like if I am blessed with another <3

    I just wanted to say I hope you don't take certain people's comments too much to heart. Some of the comments about your journey to motherhood are incredibly rude and hurtful and I would be upset over them but I really hope you are okay.
    I honestly think if people have nothing nice to say then don't bother at all.
    It is a reflection of them, not of you.
    I had a hard journey, I've had a miscarriage and have PCOS and it took a while to have my son, yet I had him when I was 24 and people may look at me and think "yeah like you've had a hard journey, you're young!" etc…. it's just ridiculous.
    We each have our own journey, we don't know if you've lost any babies, you may not share everything, and if you haven't then you have still had your own journey, and people shouldn't judge anyone else!
    What is it with mother's tearing down other mother's, or women tearing down other women?

    Please keep sharing your heart like this, There are thousands of women who don't say these hurtful things, that love your blog posts so much.

    Thank you Naomi <3

  10. Betsy

    Bless your heart!

  11. Jenn

    I posted a really rude, hurtful comment earlier because of my own insecurities that emerged when I read this post. Obviously you moderated the comment (as you should’ve…it was pretty awful), but I just wanted to comment again to say how sorry I am. We all have our struggles and just because you have three babies it does not mean that you haven’t dealt with your own.

  12. Megan

    Thank you for sharing your story and for providing some information about nursing. I’m 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and it’s encouraging to find helpful posts like yours.

    Also, I’m sorry you’re getting backlash for sharing details about your pregnancies. People can be really hurtful and hateful–but usually that has more to do with them than with anyone else. Be well and take care.

  13. Kelly

    Naomi,

    You’re amazing. I have been following your blog for 3-4 years now and I find the advice, the thoughts and the manner of your blog absolutely inspiring. Thank you for sharing your life, your struggles and your family life with us! The hurtful comments are absurd- you reply to them with such grace and kindness, especially considering how awful some of them truly are. You’re one of a kind! Enjoy little baby Conrad and your adorable babes.

    Kelly

  14. Antoinette

    First, I adore your blog. Second, this post came at the right time, as I’m nursing my first baby, my 7-week old son. While we’re having issues of our own dealing with oversupply and forceful letdown, it is always nice to read other mothers’ stories and experiences. Thank you for being an inspiration in so many areas!

  15. Katie

    Thank you, Naomi! My babe is 3,5 months old now and for me breastfeeding was so much harder than getting pregnant (took us 18 months) of giving birth. I thought it is the most natural thing in the world, but was so difficult “to learn”. I appreciate your experiences and that you share them with us.

  16. Gracie

    Naomi, I have been reading your blog for several years now and always enjoy your authenticity.Thanks for sharing your experience with nursing. I’m currently nursing my seven month old and laughed at your “milk maid” comment because that is what I jokingly call myself.

    We should all be able to rejoice over the things we’re good at and feel sympathy for the things we struggle with. Sorry for the hurtful comments left by other readers. You responded with grace and kindness. I want to keep your words fresh in my mind, “it’s not a competition of suffering.” Keep sharing life with your hubs and littles :)

  17. Laura

    Hi Naomi! Thanks for sharing this experience. Your blog truly is a celebration of motherhood.

    Though I find the vitriol of some of these comments disturbing, I noticed that I, too, felt a stab of something ugly and shameful when reading this. I think it’s because these issues (fertility, breastfeeding, etc) are at the heart of how we define ourselves as women. Though I appreciate you focusing on the positive as much as possible, and of course you should protect your privacy, it’s easy as a long-time reader to view this blog as a carefully curated catalog of Pollyanna-ish moments, at times. Though some people will lash out with hate no matter what, I know that for me it’s simply craving what’s real- the good with the bad.

    If there’s ever a time you feel comfortable sharing about your pregnancy challenges in whatever detail you’re ready, I know that for me that would provide a truly authentic sense of community and sisterhood. My two miscarriages were the most isolating experiences I’ve ever had – they were deep gaping wounds I carried silently and invisibly. The moments of comfort I had were when I learned that women I knew – “normal” women with happy families, to whom everything seemed easy – had also been through incredible hardship.

    Having said that, I rarely have the courage to share what I’ve been through with anyone else – it’s so personal! It’s at the most intimate intersection of your heart, body, and soul. So I understand your hesitation.

  18. Love your blog Taza and this post! I’ve been nursing for 0ver 10 months now and have loved every second – check out http://nadinestyle.com/2015/01/09/being-a-new-mum/

    I didn’t realise it would be such a lovely experience and will be really sad to stop. But I’m heading back to work in a couple of months so going to start weaning her off soon. Sob!

    Ace pic too :) Rockin the breastfeeding look! x

  19. Tania

    I’ve been a follower of your wonderful blog from the start! Wondering if you’d consider giving a plus size option where you can in terms of style posts! I know it isn’t always possible but I’m such a fan of your personal style that I’d love to see a broader spectrum of choices for us readers :)

    Xo

  20. Mar

    Thanks Naomi for this wonderful post. I really appreciate your honesty and sincerity. I follow your blog since Eleonor was a baby and I always wonder how do you manage with three kidos.
    I loved your final thought. It took me some time to understand there’s no only one way to raise your child, and whatever you choose it’s ok if it’s the best thing for you and your baby,

  21. toytulip

    Hi Naomi! This was such a nice post to read! I know a lot of us (new)mommy-readers can relate. Everyone faces their own personal challenges and how we deal with them and how much we decide to share with the world is an absolute personal choice. That is why I salute you and other bloggers who keep things real, by sharing this sort of experiences. I am not sure if my comment is not to late for you to notice, but I would love it if you could sometimes share what does your normal diet consist of…or better yet, are there any foods you avoid while breastfeeding? I love my food and am trying to keep things on the healthier side (-some cookies here and there) especially because I am breastfeeding my 6 weeks old exclusively, but I have found so much contradicting information about whether the foods we eat actually influence baby’s well being… What is your opinion on this issue? Thanks a lot! keep being an inspiration! :)

  22. Jessica

    Thank you for this post Naomi, I love your blog and have followed for a long time, since Eleanor was a tiny baby! My first baby girl, Annabel, is 10 months old, and I love our sweet nursing time. Thank you especially for the ideas of cool nursing clothes, am just starting to get my body back where I want it to be and thinking about expanding my wardrobe, but still need to bear breastfeeding in mind!
    I really appreciate you sharing everything with us through this blog, I wish you and your lovely family all the best. xoxo

  23. Anna

    Dear Naomi,
    Thank you very much for this post on the blog!
    I am currently breastfeeding my 9-month baby boy and feel blessed about it:-)
    My questions are:
    when did you stop breastfeeding Eleanor and Samson?
    how did it happen?
    I would like to breastfeed till my son is 18 months old.
    Thank you for being a positive and inspiring person you are!
    Love from Russia

  24. Beth

    This was a nice post to read. A little more personal and very helpful :) I wasnt able to nurse my first baby but Im hoping things go better second time around.

  25. Rachael

    Keep up the good work momma! No matter who we are we all have a hard fight ahead of us as mommies and we should never tear one another down or dismiss someone else’s struggles. It’s not a “who has had it harder” contest. Hard is hard, bottom line. I did love nursing despite it’s challenges (I was not a “milk maid”) and now I miss that time of quiet with my babies. Soak in these moments. Our babies aren’t babies for very long. My favorite photo is one of me nursing my youngest son. I love looking at it and remembering that beautiful time we shared, he is now 8 and is really grossed out by that photo and can’t believe that I have a picture of “THAT!” But one day when he is a father he will understand. God bless you and your sweet family.

  26. Alison

    Hi! How do you nurse wearing the cowl neck dress? I would love to wear dresses like that but lifting the dress all the way up seems like it would expose my belly! And nobody wants that!:)

  27. M.G.

    Hi Taza, thank you for mentioning how it can hurt hearing ‘it was so easy for me’ comments from other women. I think sometimes others forget that every woman has a different experience with becoming and being a mother. I am infertile and going through treatment and wish I could hear more mothers around me saying “this is where it’s been easy and this is where it’s been hard for me” and acknowledging the experience of others. I’m really glad that breastfeeding came easy for you and hope I can have a similar experience someday. I don’t like hearing/reading a lot of mommy stuff b/c it is painful for me, but I still read your blog. You have the sweetest little family.

  28. Joana

    Naomi, please be realistic ! 3 babies in 4 years and you are complaining about not being fertile enough ??? I don’t know how one can be more fertile than that :/ Some couples have to try that long for ONE baby !

  29. Hi I really struggled to get Sebastian and lost 7 babies trying. I had breast cancer for 3 years so was unsure if I would be able to feed my boy. I was so lucky and it went well the most wonderful indescribable feeling. Seb was not a fan of being covered either so that lasted about 2 weeks.

    I have just stopped breastfeeding now at 14 months as I am trying for a sibling but having no joy. It is sad to stop did not expect the hormones to hit me. Thank you for sharing your story. I too am a city mummy, we live in Paris

  30. Sarie

    Dear Naomi,
    What a brave post! It was nice of you to share. I’ve lacked my share of confidence in learning to be someone’s mother, but I have milk. I think the milk comforts me as much as it comforts my baby.

    It’s nice to see your post! You make nursing look cool!

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  32. Nicole

    So wonderful that you’ve posted this. So many look up to you and you’ve done a great job at educating and sharing while being sensitive to others. I’m currently tandem nursing my son and daughter—something I never knew I’d do! Would you feel comfortable sharing your weaning stories? My son is 3 and I feel we are both ready but I know there will be a lot of tears. My daughter is only 14 months and neither of us are anywhere near ready to stop, which complicates things for my son. Do you have any advice?

    Love, Nicole

  33. Gillian

    I am sorry but have up you actually been diagnosed with fertility problems? I find people like you to be insensitive as you really have NOTHING to be upset about, to have three children over four years would be considered normal, the people who blink and get pregnant are not normal it takes an average HEALTHY couple 12-18mths to fall pregnant. When you have tried to have a child for 9 years like I have then maybe you can talk.

  34. Izzy

    Gillian what in the world gives you the right to say something like that to a woman and a mother you do not truly know? Yes, she has 3 kids in 4 years. But how long did it take for her first to be born? You don’t know. How many bumps in the road have happened over the past 4 years? You don’t know. No one should be allowed to look at the present situation of someone else’s life and judge them based on appearance. Just because it didn’t take Naomi 9 or 10 years to have children doesn’t mean her experience is any less heartbreaking or difficult than any other woman trying to have kids. You don’t know if fertility treatment was involved, you don’t know if there were miscarriages, you just DONT KNOW. You are the insensitive one here. Please next time think before you ever tell a woman that she has nothing to be upset about. Especially when you do not know anything about Naomi and her struggles.