there was a moment last night during family home evening, where the littles and i were sitting on the sofa singing the wiseman built his house upon a rock, as josh played it on the piano, that i caught samson’s eye and he gave me this great very grown up, adult like head-nod, almost to say, “i sure love you mom.” or at least that is what it felt like his little head nod was saying as he raised his hands high above his head singing about the rain coming down. (he does those song actions better than anyone around here!) but in that moment, with that little grown up head nod from my two and half year old, i felt so proud of who i am, and ever so accomplished as his mother.
sometimes i get so caught up with how ambitious or educated or talented or successful people around me in this crazy city might be, and right now with this almost 8-month pregnant belly, i just struggle to walk up the stairs without huffing and puffing. and while i feel confident in many areas of my life, i mostly just feel guilty these days because i’m struggling to get up in the morning and get anything done. so even if that head-nod was just a coincidence, and samson wasn’t trying to send me a message of love and encouragement (and let’s be honest, he’s two….he probably wasn’t), i’m still going to pretend he was. because i needed it. and it felt so so good.
i think we need to take the time to tell ourselves we are good people. good mothers. good wives and friends and women. we have to believe it ourselves, and not apologize for who we are (i find myself apologizing a lot because i always feel like there is so much room for improvement in my life), but it’s unnecessary. we are good people. and good mothers. and good women. all of us. in our different stages of life, pursuing different dreams or goals, parenting or believing or living differently from one another, we’re all good. we just need to believe it. maybe we should just start giving ourselves head-nods every morning when we look in the mirror. ha. i might do that today…
these photos are from maybe a month ago. they don’t really have anything to do with this post. they are from a different night of family home evening, when we went to play soccer in central park to practice some of the moves eleanor and samson have been learning in their soccer classes this fall. (ps- if you ever want to laugh hysterically and be thoroughly entertained, go watch some toddlers at soccer practice! sometimes i feel really really bad for their coach!)
^^^i know this photo might look to some like josh is about to kick our kids in the face with a fast ball, but i promise, it wasn’t like that!^^^
^^^samson prefers the role of goal keeper.^^^
^^^he mostly just laughs and laughs when the ball starts coming towards him. haha!^^^
^^^and then he gets all excited when it hits the net! i don’t think he quite grasps his role as the goal keeper just yet. haha!^^^
^^^and this sweet face! i can’t even begin to ever tell you what she truly means to me.^^^
^^^climbing the net is half the fun of it!^^^
^^^or getting trapped inside it!^^^