“are you pregnant?”

empirestate

yesterday was one of those really weird days for me. someone tried to congratulate me in the hallway at church on “my pregnancy” and i found myself leaving early, trying my hardest to fight back a whole lotta stupid tears while i hoped no one could see what a mess i was on my way out.

why do people keep commenting on here and on instagram congratulating me on being pregnant or asking if i’m pregnant or trying to be the first person to discover that i’m pregnant?

i am not pregnant. i wish i was pregnant. but i am not pregnant.

if and when i’m pregnant again someday, i’m pretty sure i’ll share it. i mean, i blogged and over shared my way through something like that twice now and heaven knows i sure loved it. i really like being pregnant. and having babies. and being a mama.  it’s not for everyone, but it’s for me. and i’m grateful i’ve had the chance twice now.

i like to share, but then again, i also like being private. that might sound strange coming from someone who shares quite a few bits and pieces of her life with the public, but there are things that are harder for me to open up and talk about, even with close family members. i am still growing and learning everyday. i struggle daily with many things.  and there’s a whole list of stuff i just don’t feel comfortable chatting about in this space, at least not right now.  there are many courageous women online who talk about these things daily, everything from infertility and miscarriages to birth stories and family planning/child spacing. i can’t tell you how much strength i have found through many of their stories and voices. for a while i thought maybe i’m just not brave, if i’m not willing to share everything i’m going through like other ladies choose to do. but i don’t think that anymore. any woman, who goes through any step of pregnancy, birth, miscarriage, infertility, childrearing, you name it, is brave. so brave. whether she shares her full story publicly or holds it quiet for herself or her small circle of loved ones instead. my stories and anyone’s stories of childbearing are just as real and beautiful and difficult and miraculous and sucky and life changing. even if they’re not shared here or publicly.

i’ve been learning through my own experiences over the years and also through this weird pregnancy rumor that kind of took on a life of its own lately, a great lesson about how i want to interact on and off the web with friends and loved ones and people around me. there have been plenty of times in my own life where i’ve been insensitive or haven’t had the best etiquette when interacting with other people. i want to be more sensitive and thoughtful, especially when it comes to topics like this. we don’t ever understand or know someone’s situation entirely, and i want to make sure i’m helping those around me feel good about themselves and their situation. we women have a great power within us to build each other up, but sometimes human nature gets in the way and we kind of tear each other down through gossip or politics or critique instead. i am trying to work harder to respect my fellow women and their accomplishments and trials, and i aspire to lift and love every day.

i just thought i might share this here, because i’ve struggled with the whole conversation around women’s bodies and are you pregnant or why aren’t you pregnant and it’s my own right to know the inner details of your ovaries conversations since i was first married, to be honest. i guess i’m just a little bit tired of it.  i know sometimes people are genuinely curious and mean well with their speculations and when they try to congratulate, but sometimes these topics are a little bit sensitive, and they can really really hurt. i think these sorts of conversations can still happen, but there are kinder ways to go about them with friends or people online, without assuming you know what’s going on and jumping the gun to tell them so…

“ok sister, you look pregnant! show us that baby bump already.” how about no. how about i show you when i’m ready to show you and when there actually is a baby bump and in the meantime we stop making each other worry about if we look bigger or smaller or pregnant or 5 pounds heavier according to your opinion and be mindful that someone could be struggling with pregnancy or miscarriage and good grief an eating disorder and you aren’t helping her at all. can we just quit speculating altogether about each other? 

it’s been a good reminder for me, and maybe this can serve as a good reminder for you. we’re all doing our best, we’re all struggling with something, and we all deserve a kinder and gentler interaction with one another. i don’t know, i just can’t let go of any of these thoughts today so thank you, blog, giving me a place to unload…

so nope, not pregnant. winter was just really delicious. ;) thanks to many of you for your kind encouragement and support. i’m grateful for so many of you. i really truly am. and for this place to share bits and pieces of my life as a woman and wife and mother in the city as i try my best to press on each day as well as i know how. have a wonderful monday, friends.

  1. Jaymi

    I kind of lost interest in this blog awhile back, it veered to a place that I wasn’t interested in. Nothing wrong with that, it’s life, it’s how things work.

    But with this post? So much respect for you right now.

  2. ally

    great post, and super graceful and mature of you. i am one of those people who looooves to talk about fertility/infertility/babies/breastfeeding with everyone i meet, but these can be sensitive topics that not everyone wants to share about. so thanks for the reminder.

  3. Kelly

    Good for you, Naomi! You’re a very brave woman for sure…and I so respect and encourage your thoughts on women standing up for each other instead of tearing each other down! Power on, lady!

  4. Rebecca Penny

    I have followed your blog for the last four years and it has gotten me through the thicks and thins of my own life. Your blog is a sweet reminder that there is a beautiful girl with a beautiful family out there in New York that gives me hope for my own life. You have given me laughs and smiles through some very dark times. And I want to say thank you. You’re a beautiful mama and a beautiful soul. I know you don’t know me but just know there’s a girl down in Texas who prays for your lovely family over a cup of coffee and blog reading every day. Keep your chin up, lady. You look great and you are great and anyone who tells you otherwise wastes your time. All the love to you Davis family’s

  5. Anna Almeida

    You are a wonderful beautiful and great woman, wife and mother! Don’t worrya bou tothers comments and opinions, ometimes that’s the best option. Keep brave and strong as you are,
    Anna

  6. ashley mikell

    this is such a good reminder. you’re not alone in having one of those leave-church-crying days. i think we’ve all been there and unfortunately we are all too quick to forget how that feels when curiosity kicks in. wishing the best for you!

  7. sara

    naomi, you are such a gem. and i hope you know you have the support of millions no matter what you are going through in life. xo

  8. Maren

    Dear Naomi,

    you are such a kind, wonderful and brave women and I just want to thank you for sharing (as much or as little as you wish) your life with us. I am a reader since the beginning (before your lovely children even were born) and it was delightful and amazing to see you grow into the role of a loving mother of two and become the women you are today. thank you.
    I wish you and your sweet family all the best of luck, joy, health and love. And maybe one day in the future (hopefully soon ;) ) you can announce ‘the big news’ again – because lets face it: you are the most gorgeous pregnant women I have ever seen!
    Stay strong and don’t get any sort of negativity or comments (in general) get you down; just remember who you are and what you are blessed with (e.g. a loving family and husband plus super cute children).

    Greetings.

  9. Cecilia

    Well said!

  10. Abby

    Beautiful. All my thoughts exactly but put so eloquently.

    Thank you.

  11. well said! I think is so nice you wrote this ;) happy monday!

  12. Kaylan

    Beautiful post, Naomi. It’s amazing how intrusive people can be, almost like they seem to think they have a right to know things about you, just because you blog and share. I appreciate your voice and your encouragement.

  13. Chelsea

    Kudos lady! It’s a fine line in this space to decide what and how to share these sorts of details and whatever and however you decide to share aspects of your personal life is at your own discretion- no questions asked, nothing owed to the masses. Whatever is going on, I hope you find your way through and fine peace with the resolution.

  14. amber

    wow, definitely well said on your part! love this post, and i can imagine how annoying that would be… sorry. it’s so true… other people don’t realize that “harmless” comments like that can be hurtful because they don’t know what the other person is going through.

    nice post. great way to say it.

  15. Lonka

    you are simply gorgeous. i think you are a beautiful, pretty woman, and must be a great mother. dont care about negative things, people are jealous, you know

  16. I am so sorry you are having to go through this! Blog world is such a gray area when it comes to sharing personal details – it’s so hard to find the happy balance when you share so much of this but not enough of this, and then when you have a big enough platform – readers think that they have a right to demand a certain kind of information. And that’s not fair to the blogger.

    For the record, I think you look GORGEOUS!

  17. I’m so sorry you’ve been made to feel this way… It’s very unfair and I hope it doesn’t happen anymore… Also putting this out there so that people just think before they say something, is so much good. I was asked about having another baby when Ollie was 2 and a bit.,. By a total stranger at the post office…. She said about it being time to give him a sibling and when I just glanced at her and went back to what I was doing she said “oh you won’t have him an only child will you??” In a very judgey tone. We had lost a baby just months before and were in that time trying again. I felt invaded by this total stranger and I just walked away. Thank you for writing this and I hope you get your hopes and dreams super soon. xxx

  18. ida

    keep your head up, naomi. you are a beautiful and successful woman and a mama of two lovely kids. you are strong and smart and fun and creative, I know that, and I haven’t even met you! xoxo, with love from austria.

  19. Natalie S.

    Yes to every word! As someone who has been experiencing recurrent pregnancy loss, I will never make assumptions about women’s reproductive choices or situations ever again. Thank you so much for posting this.

  20. E

    I’m sorry people have been weird and crazy about this and made many assumptions. Women have so many desires – to be dating, to be married, to be in a different life stage, and I think we often project those desires on each other. I will admit I wondered the same thing, simply because you alluded to some congratulatory dinners and updates. But I never would’ve asked, because it’s not my place to know unless you decide to share.

  21. Callie

    Thank you for this and for being vulnerable (I’m sure it wasn’t easy). I’ve been reading since before Eleanor and this post reminded me of your old ones.

  22. Jackie

    Oh my. I know this so well. I cant believe people have been bugging you like this. I feel it’s such an insensitive thing to do. People kept asking me about being pregnant so much just before we finally got pregnant for a second time. We tried and it didnt work for ages and it’s the worst when people keep asking you. Also, how dare they? Maybe I just had a miscarriage and chose not to share that with them?!

  23. Carrie

    Awww, Naomi. I don’t often comment or read comments, but I saw one of the aforementioned comments the other day and had a strong desire to comment in return, but ultimately didn’t want it to be perceived in a not-so-pleasant way (which seems to happen often when comments go back & forth). I can relate to so much of what you said here, having had the same speculations from folks since my marriage and after having a daughter. Often, I don’t think folks, or women, can understand until they’ve gone through things for themselves. I remember asking girlfriends years ago if they were going to have children, if they were planning on another, how long they thought they’d wait- seemingly innocuous questions, until they’re the questions folks are asking you, and they don’t feel so innocuous anymore. All I can say is that it’s made me better- better at being more sensitive to other women. Better at understanding this is all in God’s hands no matter how much I’d like for it to be in my own. Hopefully you’ve just helped some women to be better too- maybe they won’t have to wait to be in the same position to “get it”. Praying for all the best for you & your family. xo

  24. Jessie

    Very well written! Children, family planning, and how you or any of my friends and family choose to discipline, etc. is none of my business; it is entirely between you, your husband, and the Lord. Thanks for sharing bits and pieces of your beautiful life in your own way and not trying to be like someone else. That’s what makes your blog so unique and fun to read.

  25. Shelly

    Honestly, nope, you do not look pregnant. I think why most people were speculating this was because you haven’t been as active as you have been in the past. Not a lot of detail and not a lot of pictures (of yourself). You’ve also been hinting at changes in your recent posts, so I think that’s why people started assuming. Also, same reason the people at GOMI (that I lurk through) have been commenting on that, too. A lot of them feel like they *know* you, and expect that you would be pregnant with your 3rd by now.

    Like I said, from the few pictures on here (& instagram), you don’t look “bigger” to me. It actually looks like you lost weight. But anyway, who cares? Please don’t look at it to mean that you need to start dieting. You look fine. :)

  26. Bess

    Love this, love you. Thank you for such a great reminder.

  27. jess

    thank you.

    ((times a million. thank you for this))

  28. Jen

    Yes! Love this post. As someone who struggled with infertility for years, I can definitely relate. People can be so insensitive. And now, as a mama to twins, you wouldn’t believe some of the things people say . It really is so tough and it’s hard to remain graceful in these situations– I’ve been known to shoot back with a sassy quip now and again. :) At any rate, …thanks so much for posting this. Hang in there, Naomi. :)

  29. Julie

    Hey, Other bloggers are no more courageous than you for sharing so much! Just different in what they choose to make public. You are more courageous in some ways, even, because you deal with it yourself and yourself alone. Maybe even with close friends and family, like a normal person. :) I think you’re great. Please don’t EVER feel pressured to share those intimate details with all of us. It’s none of our GD business unless you want it to be.

  30. Annie

    Thank you for being so damn respectable. I think you do all of this (blogging, mothering, etc) with so much grace. Lots of love to you and your family.

  31. Amy B

    Thank you….thank you….thank you!! Recent conversation with a sales clerk:

    Me: Hi! Which shirts on this rack are 60% off?
    Sales Clerk: All of them!
    Me: Oh yay! I love this one!!
    Sales Clerk: Great….since you are about ready to have a baby, you can probably use some new clothes!
    Me: I’m not.
    Sales Clerk: Oh really? Wow. I looked at you and figured you were going to have a baby any day now. Don’t worry…I am chubby too.

    Seriously. NOT OKAY. I may be “chubby” as she liked to point out, but I told her unless she is seeing a woman literally giving birth she should never make the assumption. EVER.

    Thanks for letting me know I am not alone :)

  32. Soph

    Thank you for this post, Naomi. This was really brave of you and I have such great respect for you right now. It’s not often that your writing gets so blatantly honest and uncensored and I understand it’s not easy for you. Please don’t let comments like these on the internet or in real life get you down, you are a wonderful person and although I don’t know you, I think you’re a great mama to those gorgeous kiddos of yours. Rock on, you beautiful person!

  33. When will women learn, don’t congratulate someone on being pregnant until they say to your face “I’m pregnant”. It’s just like…DON’T. Just don’t. Because you never know what’s really going on. What if she’s not pregnant and you’ve just now called her fat? What if she WAS pregnant and recently had a miscarriage that no one knew about? What if she’s had a really hard time getting pregnant and is really struggling emotionally with the fact that she can’t get pregnant?

    People need to know that pregnancy is a touchy subject for many. So until a woman says to you “I’m pregnant!”, just don’t say anything.

    xo Denise
    lovelybohemian.blogspot.com

  34. Angela

    Well said. I’ve never commented on your blog before but I wanted to do so now. It’s so difficult to find that line between public and private, but don’t feel guilty for staying authentic and true to who you are. At the end of the day that is all that matters. When someone is privy to the intimate parts of your life they are walking on sacred ground, but often the masses don’t see that as so. I enjoy reading your blog and I”m inspired by the wonderful things you do share. So thank you. “onward, brave mother, onward.”

  35. Dana

    I really appreciated this post. As someone who has concealed my pregnancy from the internet I find it extremely brave that many women share this time of their lives. I have attempted to create more community in my friends and loved ones during the pregnancy, not wanting to be burdened by the added pressure that the internet can bring!

    So, keep what you can to yourself. Thank you for sharing what you do. And never be afraid to speak your mind on these subjects. I think you have a lot to add to the conversation of motherhood expectations versus reality and also body image in regards to pregnancy, post-baby and before.

    xoxo
    Dana

  36. Ash

    Are you SERIOUS?! What is wrong with us women that we do this to each other?

    I’m pregnant with my second right now. I’m about 6 1/2 months along , and I feel like I already look like I did when I was 9 months pregnant with my first. And boy, do people (women) like to tell me that! “Wow, you’re REALLY showing this time around!” “Did you get big this fast when you carried baby #1?” “There’s no way you’ll make it to your due date.” I am by all means a healthy person – I am a former collegiate athlete. I am 5’9 and weigh 130 pounds normally (not that it’s anyone’s business). But can a girl help it if she has over 8lb babies and just gets a big ol’ belly when she’s pregnant?! Sheesh.

    I hate that I let these kinds of comments get to me. Especially for us; it wasn’t so easy to get pregnant. I struggled with hormone issues and a miscarriage. I have a vibrantly healthy little one and a half year old currently, and what we pray will be another healthy baby girl on the way. I have to choose every day to be thankful for these blessings (because hello, they are HUGE ONES!) rather than let dumb comments get to me. But man, you are right about our human (sinful) nature. It is hard a lot of times.

    Anywho – sorry to do a little venting of my own on your blog. I just hear where you’re coming from . This post spoke to me so much.

    So whatever you’re going through – - more power to you. I don’t know you personally, but it sounds like you have such a strong head on your shoulders, a loving and kind heart, strong faith, and a great support system around you. You can get through anything! And look at those adorable babies of yours! Too many blessings to count right there = ).

    Hope you have a good week, Naomi.

    Thank you – always – for sharing.

  37. Kelsi

    I loved this so much. It is so tricky to determine what to share with the world and what to keep to yourself, and I have long thought you are brave for sharing even as much as you do. And I’m also grateful for it, because I learn a lot. Thank you for your courage, for making yourself vulnerable so that others can learn and experience along with you!

  38. Zoe

    This post was such a wonderful reminder to encourage and love others. I am personally trying to keep a more positive attitude. I’ve never commented before, but I want you to know I absolutely love your blog and what you do share with all your readers. A new blog post from you always makes my day!

  39. meghan jane

    I think this is my favorite of all your posts. I 100% agree with you, and think it’s so strange that this is a socially acceptable thing to ask. Before I got pregnant with my first baby, someone asked me for a prayer intention. When I said “of course! what would you like me to pray for?” she said, “that you get pregnant.” It’s so invasive and inappropriate, especially in a world where so many have problems with fertility. Lots of love to you.

  40. Brooke

    I hate that you’ve had to endure crappy remarks but I know how you feel! People feel such freedom to ask hyper-personal questions of the young married! But this post was great and a good reminder to be sensitive and caring. :)

  41. Mia J-M

    It’s sad that this isn’t the first post I’ve read along these lines on a blog… But it’s also really great and brave of you to address it! We all have different plans and intentions for our family life, and no one should feel that they need to justify themselves. Thanks for the message!

  42. Jessica

    Thank you! It seems such a trite phrase, but truly, thank you! I recently had to listen to a 5 minute diatribe about why I should have another baby. It was a family friend, and she meant well. However, it brought up all the things I already struggle with on a daily basis. My struggles not hers. For me it is a private struggle, not one that I want to share and explain to every person that thinks I should have another baby. So when I say thank you, it’s because I read this and thought “Yes!” And for a moment, I knew it was ok for me not to share with the whole world.

  43. Erin

    This was totally beautiful and I am sure will resonate with a lot of women. Such a personal topic, and yet one that so many feel they can weigh in on. Even people who mean well usually come across as rude and insensitive, especially to those of us who might be struggling with trying to become pregnant (or have any of a million other issues). Kudos to you and your brave soul for writing this today, and thank you.

  44. Katherine

    Wonderful post!

  45. Erin

    I am 100% with you! I’ve been married for almost 4 years and the question I’m most frequently asked is, “when you having kids?” Ummm, maybe never? Then after I politely say that, I get a look like I have 5 heads. Is it wrong for a 27 year old married woman to maybe not want children? I’m undecided. I might adopt…I don’t know!! I didn’t realize that children were a requirement for marriage. UGH! haha, yes most people are coming from a nice place, but I’ve had my fair share of acquaintances give me advice and how I NEED to have children, they’re so fun! your life won’t be complete without them…ummm..wow. Just know there are a lot of us going through this struggle and yes, we all (myself included) need to be more thoughtful or respectful to fellow women regardless of their situation. Let’s embrace each other!

  46. Erin

    I’ve been reading your blog for some time now and have never commented but this hit me in the best possible way. I recently got married at the age of 33, which, here in Iowa, is about ten years later than average. I have had people constantly (read: con.stant.ly.) asking when we’re going to start having babies, as I’m apparently aging at a spectacular rate. Reading this was wonderful and I wish I could share it with all those that have felt the need to weigh in on our family-planning process. I admire your strength and your voice. Thanks for this post.

  47. Jade

    You are such a gorgeous human being! Thank you for your honesty, vulnerability, and beauty. You and your little family are so loved. You bring a wealth of inspiration, liveliness, joy and beauty to so many of us. Hope you can feel all the lovin’ and support. <3

  48. Jess

    I saw some of the comments on your Instagram and though they were ridiculous. You shouldn’t have to share what you don’t feel comfortable sharing. Your private life is just that, and you look beautiful (all the time!)

  49. Tanya

    Every day I get “wow, are you about to ready to pop or what? due any day now?” only to hear “You’re only 30 weeks? you’re TINY!” from someone else a few minutes later. And by ‘someone else’ I mean: a woman. Ladies, have we learned nothing from our own experiences? Stop it! Just stop it!

    And same goes for commenting on how big/small/smart/fast/talkative etc. our kiddos are. Stahp it!!!

    And while I’m at it, here’s another favourite of mine: people love commenting on the spacing of my children (cause like, yeah, I had COMPLETE control over that). I get “woah, you are one BRAVE woman!!!” from some strangers, only to hear “oh wow, 2.5 yrs apart? It’s too bad they won’t really be able to play together” from others.

    In essence: keep on keepin’ on mama. You’re fantastic. Thanks for sharing. We all need a reminder to watch our words!

  50. Bea

    High five, Naomi!!!
    I can’t find a job, and my sister prays every single day for having a baby, but….I still don’t have a job and my sister is not going to have a baby….and guess what people ask us?
    :)
    Hope your Monday is now great!!!

  51. Em K

    While I think this post needed to be written to remind people that some things are just not their business and a lot of readers will appreciate this post, I’m sorry it got to the point where you had to write this. Thank you for sharing and hopefully reminding people that you never really know what’s going on with the state of someone’s uterus. and for the reminder, it’s rude to ask!

    Emmett – Hippie Lace

  52. amanda

    AAAAmen. thank you for sharing this- and all you do choose to share! people are shockingly cruel sometimes- sometimes intentional, sometimes not. anyway, thank you, and i’m so sorry for those people who don’t know how painful their words to you are.

  53. Eny

    Bravo.

  54. People can be kind of nuts. They feel like they know you because they see so much of you in this space. But as a fellow ‘blogger’ I know that the internet does not bring true closeness. So much more goes into relationships. And just because we share certain aspects of our lives online doesn’t mean we are required to share EVERYTHING. I for one have no clue why anyone would assume you are pregnant. My husband and I have been married for almost two years (together for seven) and every time I tell my family, friends or the internet I have something special to share it is always assumed I’m going to announce I’m with child. Like you said, we are all battling various things and to be judged on wether or not you are having a baby is just ridiculous. I just hope that you and your beautiful family are trying to find happiness every day. Wishing you the best, no matter what…

  55. Jay

    Naomi, thank for you this. It is EXACTLY this kind of vulnerability that builds other women up, and validates us in our existences. I have different life circumstances than you and cannot always relate to your blog content…I am not always a consistent reader of your blog. But, this, THIS is why I still come back periodically to see what’s new. These are our shared experiences and you are incredibly brave to speak up about them. Take care.

  56. S

    Amen sister! Yesterday I burst into tears in the foyer of my church because someone, after hearing that I’m not dating anyone right now, asked if I’ve chosen the single life as my vocation. Umm, NO, but it’s not something I can just magically make happen! In her defense, she’s a really wonderful person, and said all sorts of nice things to make me feel better after, but really? You’re right, we’re all carrying around our own heartbreaks, and I’m following your lead in taking this as a reminder to be kind and conscious of how my words might inadvertently hurt others.

  57. Sarina

    Thank you for writing this. It’s good to be reminded that insensitive comments can have the power to really upset someone. Making assumptions is also pretty harmful. Someone once told me, ‘to assume something is to make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me”.
    I don’t have kids yet, we’ve been married over 2 years – but we do get the ‘she’s having a baby’ thing quite often. And I agree, it’s tiring.
    Thanks again for writing this post, I don’t guess it would have been an easy one to write, but thank you.

  58. Kate

    Your honesty is what’s important. Keep it up and don’t feel pressure to share everything because keeping something for yourself is what keeps life interesting and special in this over-sharing generation. Lots of love!!!

  59. Catherine

    I really needed this post today. Thank you so much. I have gone through some things recently that I haven’t shared with many people outside my husband and a few close family members. This post made me feel less alone. As a fellow mama I appreciate your ability to share whatever you feel comfortable doing, and please know you give a voice to us mamas out there who maybe aren’t so brave. Also to us mom’s out there who had a delicious winter (it was cold!) haha ;)

  60. Marie

    Bravo Taza! I so, so agree with you. I’ve experience multiple “nosey” moments like this from people, as if they are trying to “catch” me in a secret pregnancy or something. Then about six months ago, I was pregnant and suffered a miscarriage, making the constant questions about when we are going to start a family even more painful. I’ve told just a few of my closest confidants about what happened. Having babies and a family is a wonderful thing, but it’s not for everyone, and it’s not easy for everyone to get, so people need to be respectful of each individual journey and understand that they don’t actually know what is happening with others on that journey, and in addition, it’s none of their business.

  61. This was a beautiful post, but I’m so sorry that it had to come from a place of hurt. I am constantly astounded by people’s lack of a sense of privacy and what is appropriate when it comes to couples and how/when/if/why/where they have babies. People say something if you wait too long and they say something if you don’t wait long enough. We have two kids, 3 and 19 months, and we still get our fair share of these comments. Why do I need to reach a certain amount of kids before the questions and prodding will stop? So thank you for this, because you’re right, you never know what’s going on in a person’s life. Not to mention that having children is one of the most private of personal business. I really wish I could give you a hug right now! You’re incredible and please don’t ever feel bad about yourself. You’re wonderful and beautiful, inside and out.

  62. Shannon

    great post. i think we all know that person and have been that person asking those questions. personally, i have never gotten the ‘are you pregnant’ question but i am in a serious long term relationship (house, dog, whole 9 yards) and i constantly get asked why my boyfriend hasn’t proposed. why does he have to? why is it any of their business? we are happy in the place that we are in, why do we need to get married or feel the pressure to get married. at first i would laugh it off but as it happened more and more often it just became more hurtful and i would get into my own head and start questioning our relationship. maybe he should be proposing, maybe he doesn’t take our relationship as serious as i though. something i never even use to think of would have me so worried all of a sudden, just from a simple comment. although i cannot relate to the pregnancy questions at least i know what i am in for! This serves as an excellent reminder for myself even to be more sensitive to those women around me. you are a gem.

  63. Rachel

    Great post!
    What people seem to think, with all those instagram, blog and facebook is that they have the right to judge you, just because you like to share, .
    But they don’t (and neither do I!). I can’t imagine how hard it is to be judged and criticized by people you don’t even know,
    I just hope this will not bother you too much, you seem to be the most careful, thoughtful person and you really don’t deserve it.
    Keep blogging, loving life like you do, it’s inspiring!

    (Sorry for my english!)

    With love from France

  64. Jamie

    This is such a beautiful, inspiring post. It makes me want to be stronger, kinder, and more open.

  65. Esti

    In our community it is also really common and encuraged to have A big family. We are one of the few families in our shul to have only one … I have also left services feeling as you did. People tell me all the time that i should/need to have more …. But what if it isn’t up to me? Sending love and all good wishes.

  66. Lucy

    This infuriates me so much.
    You are totally right in your thinking and feelings.
    Why are our bodies not our own any more?
    Why as soon as we get married or reach a certain age are we told to hurry up and when’s there gonna be a baby?
    Why as soon as we’ve given birth do we get asked when they will be a big brother or sister?
    I love being a Mama to my 2 year old son, he is my world. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a Mama, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to get asked these questions all the time.
    My husband and I tried for many years with a fertility problem and after losing one baby we got our son.
    It is no-one elses business, why can’t people think and be more sensitive?
    I’ve seen these comments on your blog and instagram and have got so angry.
    Please don’t think it’s all of us because it isn’t, and I get you.
    You share what you want to share. This is your blog, for you to share or not share whatever you feel.
    Thank you for your honesty.
    X x x

  67. Carli

    What a heartfelt, honest post Naomi. I’m so sorry you experience this type of prying and inappropriate treatment through mediums you’ve chosen to be vulnerable on and to share your life with others through. It’s not solicited or deserved. I think your words here are kind and justified. I’d love to be part of a community of females who build one another up and support each other on all life’s journeys vs. tear one another down (whether intentionally or unintentionally) because of the anonymity the internet sometimes offers. Like you said, we’re all struggling with something whether the world knows it or not. Let’s choose kindness and understanding when interacting with one another instead. Hoping you’re feeling a whole of that today instead!

  68. J.A.

    Such a thoughtful, well-written post by one of my favorite bloggers. I always appreciate the kind, compassionate spirit that comes through in all of your writing, Naomi. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with such intrusiveness lately. And it disappoints me that women seem to be the usual targets for this kind of intrusion.

    I was at a dinner party recently where a woman made disparaging remarks about having kids after 40 (meanwhile there was a 42-year-old new mother at the table) and about how necessary it is to have more than one child (there was a couple there who I knew were unable to have another child and who felt so blessed to have their “one and only” baby.) So the woman in question put her foot in her mouth a few times because she failed to consider that other people might not share her perspective.

    It seems it’s often part of the human condition to be oblivious to the feelings of others and/or purposefully judgmental and unkind. The former is more common, I think, because we all are most invested in our own lives and experiences, so it can be easy to forget that other people have experiences separate from ours.

    As for people who voice their judgments and/or make unkind remarks on purpose, this seems to be an attempt to make themselves feel more secure and justify their own life choices. Sometimes a subconscious competitiveness is behind it: like, “if I let her know I think she looks too fat/too thin/too this or that, then I can feel like I am winning at this competition I’ve set up in my own mind, and if I feel like I’m winning, then I can forget my self-doubt/loneliness/insecurities for a while.” It doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it can help “shoo” their judgments out of your head when you know they’re not really about you…

    Still, wouldn’t it be a much better world if we all worked on being just a little more sensitive and empathetic?

  69. Leah S.

    I always get the “When are you having a baby” question and although I know people mean well, it’s really no one’s business! It’s such a private decision and I agree that as women, we need to be more careful in the way we speak to each other. A few weeks ago a women co-worker asked me if I gained weight (which I was already super self-conscious about). I said yes, and she said I looked better and that I was too skinny before and that I looked anorexic.. Ummm, ok thanks for the compliment, NOT! Who wants to hear that?! NO one. So thanks for this posting and saying out loud what many of us are thinking. Keep on enjoying life!

  70. I love your blog and all the joy you bring to the world with your happy family, i almost never comment but i just wanted you to know that there are lots of us that admire you and support you, even if we are strangers, know that here you have a friend in the distance.
    Hope you feel better.

  71. Priscilla

    Thank-you, thank you for sharing even tiny glimpses into your life! I didn’t share my first pregnancy with the internet and don’t intend on sharing the second one. I agree that women that are willing to share all of the intimate details from pregnancy to birth are brave but it is definitely not for everyone. Just remember you are beautiful both as a mother and a woman.

  72. amy

    i truly think most of the comments of “oh, i bet she’s pregnant!” comes from some women who just desire to be the first who thought of it. like “see! i knew it! i said it first!”

    lame.

  73. Laura

    <3

  74. michelle

    I am a long-time reader but have been on the fence about this space for a while (it feels so edited and catalogue-y at times that, at my low points, it has made me feel inadequate since my life with two little ones doesn’t look as perfect as yours). Today’s post with your real, honest thoughts is so refreshing. I’m private too (even sharing what I have in this comment makes me feel a little uncomfortable!), so I understand your not wanting to bear your soul online and share all of your struggles here. But today’s post resonated with me and made me feel as though I also want to be gentler and kindler to other women. Regardless of the details of our lives or our struggles, we women also share such similar pressures and plights that we should stick together. Thanks for your candid post today, Naomi. I’ll be back hoping for more posts like this.

  75. michelle

    *meant to type “bare” and “kinder”.

  76. Becky

    After losing a baby (I also have a 5 and almost 2 year old) someone asked me when I was due the other day. Ummm, I’m not. Just never lost the baby belly. And I would’ve been due in a couple months, but I lost a baby, so thanks for bringing it up (rolls eyes). I’ve been insensitive on accident in the past, too, so I understand the lady was well-meaning, but it still stings. Hugs to you!

  77. katie

    Thanks so much for this post. I agree with you entirely and hope we can all learn to be more sensitive about this topic, especially for those who aren’t as comfortable sharing this kind of information with everyone, like me.

  78. Miranda

    Thank you. THANK YOU for saying this. I turning 30 in a few months abd I have, not yet, been pregnant, let alone be near being a mummy. I have wanted to be a mummy from a very young age. I don’t mind turning 30, but I do mind all the comments. “30, ey! You need to hurry up now!” “The big 3-0! Are you trying?” “So… You’re setting to become an old mum”.

    Yes, I DO know time is “running out”. Yes, I do know I’m not going to be ‘a young mother’. But NO this is NOT my choice. I have been praying for over 5 years now, and so far, I am no where near pregant. That bloody hurts. No, being an auntie doesn’t make it easier. Yes, I love my nieces and nephew to bits. But I am not their mama.

    So, thank you, for writing this. I hope some people I know will read this. I wish you nothing but good and I hope your prayers will be answered. If you don’t mind I would like to include you in mine, even though I’m from a different faith. I won’t do it if this is a problem for you.

  79. Elise

    Well said, Naomi! I have so much respect for you!

  80. ezrazoe

    so strange… where would this rumor be coming from? Odd… sometimes I swear just by wearing baggier tops people start to get things in their heads. To act on it and ask about it is just odd. It’s tactless really.

  81. Chelsey

    Thank you so much for writing this. I have been married for almost 3 years, and I get asked that question AT LEAST once a week. Very few people know about the miscarriage my husband and I went through, and how insensitive those “Will you just get pregnant already?” questions can be.

  82. Lorene

    I just wanted to apologised as I did left a comment on your instagram saying that I thought you were pregnant as well, I feel really stupid now as I said that only because of pinterest posts, how dumb… and the picture on which one I commented where it looked like you were making a video or photos like the one you made to announce about your child. But for the record, you look amazing with a fabulous body, and it doesn’t look like you’ve put on weight at all – or that you have 2 kids for that matter ;)
    Once again, I’m sorry that my comment may have hurt your feelings and I’ll definitely think twice before leaving comments from now on – which I don’t do often at all to be honest.

  83. Chelsey

    sending lots of love your way Naomi! I loved reading this and agree with you 100%. Keep on being your amazing self:)
    xoChelsey
    http://westcoastcapri.com

  84. Hi,

    Not long after I had my second baby one of my partner’s friends asked if I was expecting, I was still a size 8 but a few pounds heavier and had just finished a Sunday dinner! I was mortified! So was he! People just don’t think sometimes, but I am very careful now! People have to be about 8 months so I’m totally sure before congratulating them!! :)

  85. Meg

    You are absolutely right. No more speculations. Just the facts. And the fact is, you are continually one of the most inspiring and gracious humans there is.

    I hope you’re granted the peace you deserve with your wonderful family.

  86. TJ

    I’m so sorry! I can only imagine how hurtful it can be to have people speculate something when it isn’t true. Especially when it has to do with something so personal and physical. We really do have to be careful how we approach all topics when it comes to women’s bodies. We are all beautiful, each size and color. Embrace. And you are right, you will tell us if and when you get pregnant in your own time. Own you, girl! :)
    xo TJ

    http://www.hislittlelady.com

  87. Melissa

    You kinda rule.

    And hey, I can’t blame you if you put on weight. Shake Shack is amazing and they are getting one here in Chicago too, so let’s all be food pregnant together. :)

    I never understand people speculating or gossiping about bloggers. Either you share too much or not enough. People love you or love to hate on you. You’re doing a good job, and this was a great post.

  88. colleen

    your courage is beyond words. you are so loved, naomi davis.

  89. Jennifer

    YES to all of this. What a needed reminder that everyone we meet is on a journey full of beauty, pain, difficulty and also joy. May we affirm the good in everyone we come across and be sensitive to what they may be facing.

    Also… The insight and honesty and depth of this post is what sets this blog apart from so many others. Your wisdom and sincerity is edifying and inspiring! xoxo

  90. Melissa

    People. When we will learn, to just keep our traps closed.

    As a mama of 2, both under 3, I struggle everyday. I don’t love what I see in the mirror…but I’m learning to. You are loved. You are lovely. And quite frankly, you are awesome. So, rock on with your bad self.

  91. Kimberly

    just make sure you enjoy what you’re doing, all the other stuff doesn’t matter. lots of love to you and your adorable family xoxo

  92. Kelsey

    My husband & I are coming up on 3.5 years of marriage, & we can both sense the question on the tips of everyone’s mind – When WILL they have a baby?? At only 25, I feel no pressure to start popping out little ones, but the speculation is crazy. It was encouraging to read this. So, thank you :)

  93. Stephanie

    Bravo! I agree with some of the others that it’s a little ridiculous that a post like this was even necessary, as your private life is YOURS and you will share what you want when you want, but it’s also a little refreshing to see a bit of heat in one if your posts. Your life does come off as dreamy and picturesque 95% of the time so to see a bit of raw emotion normalizes it all. And I get it, this blog is a happy place for positivity, that’s not a criticism at all. It’s your blog so it can be whatever you want it to be. It’s just crazy how readers get so upset when bloggers do not consistently include struggles and challenges regularly. How quickly the public can become so infatuated, obsessed and jealous, needing to know every detail about someone’s life. I guess, it comes with the fame?! It doesn’t make it right, but perhaps that’s the reality. Good for you for setting boundaries. Stay true to yourself and listen to your gut. You’re doing a great job and remember that the only people who’s happiness you need to be concerned with is you and your family.

  94. I also wish I was pregnant. But I’m not. And it’s hard everyday. And you’re right; no one will ever know your inside story completely. Being on this side of things has taught me–the same as you–that even intended kind words can be hurtful. The best is when you have friends and family who give you space and are available when you do want to share part of your story. I’m hoping that for you!

  95. kirsty roberts

    Awful, awful, awful! Your private life is just that, private. Yes you’re a blogger and you share a lot and for that we are all grateful! I absolutely love reading about your family and check your blog daily (don’t judge me ;-))! You inspire me to be a better mummy to my 3 children and to appreciate my husband and family more. You also inspire me to dress better but thats another story! Us women have a hard enough time as it is with ridiculous pressure to be perfect, the perfect body is thrown at us on a daily basis through tv, media, even adverts for toothpaste or food we have to see semi naked flawless models brushing their pearly teeth. We then have to deal with being mothers to our children as best we can while others (usually parents themselves) tell us we are not doing it right, sleep training? Food diaries? Ive gone through it all. It doesn’t matter what we do, we never win because theres always someone who disapproves of something. I was at my mother in laws yesterday and my sister in law was trying to feed my 10month old a chocolate bar, I literally had to force it off her because she wouldn’t listen to me that I didn’t want her to have it. She makes me feel stupid every time I see her even though she only has one child and I have three. (Did I just tell the world that? Oops) my point is, I promise there is a point, is that us women should be building each other up, supporting each other not competing against each other or putting our fellow sisters down! I’m sorry you’re going through this, you come across as such a confident, smart and kind person. Don’t let anyone make you feel like thisinintentionally or otherwise. Sorry for the essay!!!

  96. Al

    Motherhood is not for everyone, but it is for me.. I so evvy you… This energy you have (you show here on the blog), this smile. Having 2 kids and my mama living just nearby, I wish I had half of the energy you seem to have:) So I very much wish you more kids someday, You make a wonderful, inspiring mama! For now, I agree with every single word you wrote above.

  97. Mallory

    Hi Naomi! I’ve been reading your blog back since before you and your husband had your beautiful children and have never commented before, but I feel compelled to now. You are such a beautiful woman inside and out. God has made you this way! I just want to give you some encouragement. I adore your sense of style and often shop with a ‘What would naomi wear mentality.’
    Thanks for sharing your special life with us. You’ve certainly encouraged me through high school and now part of my college career. Thank you and you look great, but more importantly you are a kind person!

  98. Its amazing that you talked about this topic today… I had exactly the same situation twice today. I really don´t know why the people around me think that a pregnancy could be a possibility right now, and even if it would be a possibility, I would love to decide when I tell the world my miracle…
    I thought that the whole pregnancy thing is about keeping and holding my own miracle! I don´t have kids yet, but I am exited to have kids one day and then world, I promise, at one point of my pregnancy you will know and see it! ;-)

    Don’t worry, you are so beautiful and whats more important, you have such a beautiful mind!

    Love from Germany and the fatcatconnection
    http://lasagnolove.blogspot.de

  99. Lise

    Taza, keep on smiling… You seem to be a beautiful person with a good heart.
    You can be proud if what you are achieving. Take care.

  100. Kate

    Thank you for talking about this. I am only 22 but have known I would not be able to have kids since I was about 19. Its really hard when people assume things and you don’t want to tell them otherwise. I know I’ll somehow become a mama one day but not necessarily ready to tell others it might not be through a traditional way. This post…like many of your others, really touched my heart ;)

  101. Felicia

    Sorry you had to experience that. Beautifully written. xo

  102. Amanda

    Winter was extra delicious for me as well ;) Thank you for your post. I too have been asked one too many times if I was pregnant, when in fact I have never even been close to pregnant. Some of us just show our meals better than others :) I appreciate your words today and feel inspired to appreciate woman’s bodies in all their forms without comment. There are so many other features that can be focused on.

  103. Beverly

    Thank you!
    I ran into one of these conversations last night, with people that I LITERALLY just met. And they just kept asking personal questions! It made me uncomfortable and like, why do they care? They don’t even know me. I know they were just trying to give me advice, but I really didn’t want to hear it. People need to realize when to stop.

  104. Yeah, I actually saw a comment the other day from someone asking if you’re pregnant and I thought, “wow, that’s bold!” I think, because your readers are allowed a small glimpse into your life, some may have forgotten that we don’t actually know you in real life and the more intimate details of your personal life are off-limits. I’m glad you posted this as a little reminder :-) Best, Melissa

  105. Heather

    Good post. I have a six month old and the first time I went out on a date with just my husband I was asked when the baby was due. I pretty much cried the rest of the night and was already completely self conscious of my post baby body. People should not comment unless they are family or
    Know for sure if you’re pregnant. Although it’s really none of their business even then.

    http://www.seashellsandeggshells.blogspot.com

  106. jovana

    taza, whatever it is you’re going through i hope it gets better soon. i really wish that for you from the bottom of my heart.

    your blog has comforted me when i was stuck in mama/wife survival mode by showing me that everyone goes through that sometimes and that it’s ok to struggle occasionally. life is beautiful even though some parts of it can be pretty ugly. your blog is a happy place even when you talk about things like this, probably because you’re a wonderful, sweet, humble human being. but i don’t see it as “all happy all the time”, to me it sounds very real and honest even though you don’t elaborate too much on the less pleasant bits.

    thank you.

  107. Katie M

    I have been there, and it is beyond difficult. I had a woman I didn’t even know ask me when I was due at Costco. I told her I wasn’t pregnant, and it was beyond awkward and hurtful. I learned a long time ago that you NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant. It is just common courtesy. While I do have a child, I suffered through 6 years of infertility, and continued infertility afterward now for almost 5 years.
    Thank you for sharing your point of view. I hope it helps many to think before they speak.

  108. Karla

    Naomi I feel like I am a part of your family…and I caught myself yesterday thinking…are you all ok there over the ocean as you havent blog as much recently… and we have never met see! we are happy to read whatever you decide to share with us and we are greatful that you open the door of your home for us even slightly… you have right to say NO! if you feel uncomfortable it is your space and you put limits.. take care you all! lots of love from UK/originally from Poland -Karla

  109. Emily

    Naomi, you are such a beautiful, caring, loving, intelligent and wonderful woman. this post is also brilliant and although i have no children myself and don’t intend to for a little while, i’ve seen this happen to other people whilst I’ve been out and seeing a woman break down and cry is never nice but especially not when its a sensitive topic brought up by a stranger. i (and so do many other people) completely understand that you need to keep some things private, and that’s more than okay, people can’t expect you to share every little aspect and detail of your life if you’re not comfortable with that.

    your blog has been one of my favourites for a very long time and i’m always checking back to see if you have any new posts up. keep being the wonderful person you are and never give up.

    Beauty and Lifestyle Blog

    xx

  110. Mariana Chávez

    Talking about privacy, you know what? I thought it was really rude and out of place when in one of your Instagram pictures someone asked what Josh does for a living, and someone though it would be a great idea to show she has stalked your husband, and then answer the Instagram question.

    It made me angry! Really! Just like you wrote, you’re sort of a public person, but you own a life as well, a life that we all love. Not beacuse of that people can go around saying ‘Hey! Look out for Josh in bla, I think he is a bla or something’. It’s just not right. If you both haven’t decided to share what he does, why do they take that place and write about it?! Sorry… it annoyed me. Congratulations on you putting on some limits to your audience, It can totally get out of control.

    A huge hug Naomi, remember that you are the one in the diver’s seat. Kisses from Mexico :*

  111. Abbey

    Well said, Naomi! I saw the weird pregnancy speculation comments sparking up on one of your Instagram photos the other day, and I thought it was a little offhand as well. Based on the comments people left on there, and other photos in general, I feel like people treat you like an object sometimes — as if you don’t have feelings or aren’t a “real” person, or some other nonsense. It’s jacked up and weird and I am glad you are stepping up and calling it out! Hurrah!

  112. victoria

    for you to be able to write this post and share it proves that you are undeniably very brave

  113. Lucy

    I honestly feel that most people aren’t trying to be mean or malicious, they are just curious and interested in other peoples lives. Yes this can be nosy, and yes there are always those who say it with innocence in mind but don’t actually think about how they are saying something. I do also think that we take what people say to us very personally sometimes, and we reflect our fears and insecurities into those conversations or observations from other people. What we all need to learn is just to be a bit nicer about everything and to everyone, and to ask the right questions at (hopefully) the right time. It is obvious that you are hurting at the moment, and it is no ones business but yours and your little families. Your blog shares so much, but it is also obvious that you keep much private, and you should! Stay strong pretty lady, stay in your little world for a while if you need to and don’t listen to the those that make you feel pressured. Looking forward to hearing more from you soon, whenever that may be :) for now I’ll enjoy your beautiful kids faces on Instagram and dream about living in NYC.

  114. Grace

    Naomi,

    I am so sorry you felt the need to write this post. You are strong, beautiful, and from what I can tell a wonderful and loving mother/wife. I look up to you in so many ways (I don’t mean that in a “TAZA KNOWS ALL” way). I just love the way you look at life and always appear to do what you feel is best. We are all trying to go through life in a way we feel would make us most happy and it can be hard when others step on our toes. Just keep your head up! You are fab!

    XO

    Grace

  115. Stella

    Thank you for this post. It’s so true that people tend to loose their sense of what is appropriate when it comes to this subject. When I was pregnant I was SHOCKED by the comments of complete strangers….”Are you have two?” ( um, no) “Girl, you are about to pop!! What are you going to name it?” Not only did the comments about how “big” I was or how high I was carrying sting, but they personal inquiries, into my baby’s sex and name were very difficult to field. Sorry, strange man in the check out line at Lowes Home Improvement. I am not about to divulge the name of my unborn child to you. To be honest I haven’t even disclosed it to my family. Now, two years after the birth of my son, the questions keep coming. When are you having baby two???

    So, please ignore ( although it’s much easier said than done) these oh so rude commentors. You are stunningly beautiful, uber tall ( I met you once on the street in NYC, so I know this to be true!) and full of grace. Be strong, be well and enjoy that an incredible family of yours! xoxo

  116. Jessica

    Oh Naomi, if you weren’t already my favorite girl on the web, you would be now. Thank you thank you thank you for this post.

  117. RHONDA

    look at how many heartwarming messages here, Naomi! I saw one of those comments from Instagram couple days ago and I thought that was an very inappropriate question to ask. We always overlook negative comments at some point that totally ruin our days. So be the bigger person, ignore those comments, live your life in the way you like!

  118. Krista

    One of my favorite quotes ever is by Ryan Reynolds: “Never ask a woman if she’s pregnant until she’s crowning.” Lol. Crude to some, but it’s so true! Asking a person if they are pregnant is so taboo and tacky and very intrusive. I love your blog Naomi, and really loved this post. You have every right to keep as much as you want private from us readers. You owe us nothing :) Keep smiling and know we’re all supportive of you :)

    Cheers :)

  119. Dara

    Preach it, sister! I am so proud of you (weird… yes) for standing up for yourself (and maybe anyone else feeling the same way). I respect you saying something so much. I noticed a comment asking about your ovaries on instagram a few days ago and was floored! people can be so careless with their words. Thanks for saying something.

  120. Geez, people can be horribly nosy and thoughtless sometimes. I find it is even worse on the internet because one can hide behind a handle and say the most atrocious things, things that they would never dare say in the real world – to someone they don’t actually know! Blogging and online sharing can be a double edge sword because people feel like they have some weird pseudo-ownership or right to know about every last thing. I’m sure I’ve wondered if you’ll have another child simply because I am in awe of you as a mother of two and I see how much you love it even when it’s really tough. Never in my wildest dreams would I think to prod you about that. It is not even close to being my business!

    I am a big advocate of “lifting up” rather than putting down and I’m glad you mentioned that. I wish more women would wake up to the fact that there is real strength in kindness and encouragement. Ok…end of rant ;)

  121. Jackie

    I came upon your blog and the timing couldn’t be more perfect with your post and what I’ve been dealing with myself lately. The questions have been coming given the fact that I’ve been married for over a year and am coming up to a big birthday, as if that number implies I need to have a child. I completely agree with what you said about not knowing what someone’s situation may be and I too have become more sensitive to this topic and conversations with others. So thank you for this post. I commend you for your honesty and openness.

  122. JM

    One of my absolute pet peeves is seeing/hearing/reading about pregnancy speculation. It happens with celebrities all the time, the tabloid papers with the ‘Is XX hiding a pregnancy bump?’. It is so incredibly rude and thoughtless.

    Aside from the fact that it is an incredibly personal issue, we already have a situation where young girls are too obsessed with their weight. We don’t need to add to the paranoia of wondering what you might look like if you’ve put on a kilo or two. You wouldn’t walk up to someone and say, ‘Hey, you look like you’ve put on some weight’, so why would you say something else that suggests the same thing.

    It is absolutely nobody’s business and all of us should stop speculating and let every woman talk about if and when she’s ready. I’m sorry you’ve been having these experiences recently and I hope all the speculation stops for good and you can just share what and when you want.

    On a side note, I can guarantee that all of your readers appreciate you being real and honest in this post. Obviously it’s your blog and entirely up to you what you choose to write about, but it seems everyone prefers these posts that make us all feel a little closer, like we all understand each other a little better. You know, the real life stuff that makes us connect… Just a thought… Obviously up to you.

    http://lifeiswhathappensblog.wordpress.com/

  123. lacey

    amen sister. i love reading about your little family, and living in a big city vicariously through you, by how YOU decide to share. you are such an inspiration to so many, me included, and i just want to give you a big high five. c:

  124. Rebecca

    Naomi, I’m a long time reader and have even advertised with you for my small business back in like 2009 or something. Love your blog. This post is amazing and something I talk about a lot with people. Thank you for writing it and sharing it. Tell it girl. Thank you!

  125. Diana

    I am sorry about my comment, find it a little hypocrital, seriously understand that this is your blog and you open yourself however you just want to share and portrait the happy moments and when things get rough you just don’t feel comfortable sharing and go on the defense of how people are not nice…again finding that you are not being truth to your readers, I myself lost my son to SIDS and had face a lot of you write on this entry, that’s what makes me a little upset!Be honest!

  126. Elizabeth

    Wow. If YOU, of all people, look ‘pregnant’, then there’s just really no hope for the rest of us. Now, excuse me, I’m off to find a tub of ice cream!

  127. Jean

    Wow, those are some rude comments. I don’t know why some folks feel obligated to have to know all the fine print in your life. I mean, I know some of us are on social media & all, but we all still deserve our privacy. And honestly, I don’t understand why those folks just don’t move along instead of having rude comments to say around here.

    Thank you for this post, Naomi. This is beautifully written.

  128. Kelci

    Longtime reader, (6 years!) first time commenter. I admire your tact, your grace, and your addressing of this issue. Your life is your life. Where people picked up the idea that they have any right to comment on your body is beyond me. Thank you for your honesty. You and your family are beautiful, inside and out. I wish you nothing but the best!

  129. Sierra

    You are very brave.

    You are very beautiful.

  130. g

    Hey Naomi .. Although I read your blog consistently it’s the first time I leave a comment.. But this time you just touched my heart ..as a married woman for 5 years without children I could identify with every word you said.. It turns out that all over the world is the same thing.. I just want to say that I feel you and love you very much .. Kisses from Israel.

  131. You are a very brave and lovely person- even though I don’t know you! :)

    As someone who has experienced years of infertility, I understand all too well. Those comments and assumptions used to always get me down. And after an unsuccessful ivf attempt, we decided to pursue adoption and now have a beautiful one year old daughter!

    Just keep on keeping on! Focus on being the best version of you! Continue being a great mom to those 2 beautiful kids of yours, ignore all those weird comments and questions- and somehow everything will fall into place. :)

  132. Stef

    I’m guilty of thinking you were pregnant. I’m sorry about that. This post was very thought provoking without being accusing.

  133. Jenni

    I was asked twice this past week if I was expecting! Not ” do you guys want more kids?” but asked as if I already looked pregnant. That question is ramping up a lot right now for me…. maybe because in other people’s minds, “it is time” for us to have another. Says who??

    I, for some reason, don’t get offended by it, but I totally understand what you are saying. I have a dear sweet friend of mine who has dealt with infertility for two years, and she views those comments much differently. She has made ME more aware of those conversations as well. Thanks for sharing!! Enjoy those beautiful babies that you already have, right?

  134. Sami Jo

    Thank you so much for this. I’ve only been trying to get pregnant for 2 years but I literally had someone ask me the other day, “Why aren’t you pregnant, what is wrong with you?” Umm ouch! Comments like that hurt. Every time. Thanks for reminding me I’m not alone.

  135. Misha

    Taza – thank you for such an honest and heart felt blog post. I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling with these issues. It can be hard enough when family and friends (even in the nicest way) ask about deeply personal issues, I can’t imagine what it’s like to be getting that inquisition from internet folks. Hang in there and keep being an amazing mama and wife! XO

  136. Ariel

    Naomi, I think you handled this wonderfully. I have seen the comments you are referring to on instagram and I am always disgusted how some people just ask or suggest things like that. I just think it’s so rude, I mean where does anyone get off thinking that is okay? I actually showed some to my mother (who follows you too) and said even if I knew you in real life I wouldn’t ask something like that! It’s awful. I’m sorry some people feel so entitled to know everything about your life, you deserve some privacy and respect. It’s sad people don’t understand that. Hugs to you.

  137. Casey

    This sounds like the spunky Naomi from the blog I started reading waaaaay back in 2009. Oh how I’ve missed her. :) Forget the advertisers. Forget the sponsors. Keep it real, Naomi. This is the girl we all love. I think she’s back!!!!

  138. such a beautiful and real post! I am young still but I’d love to have a family and be a mom one day! So whenever that happens I’ll be happy to share it but for you it must be hard with so many curious readers!
    xo
    The Beauty Break // http://beautytimebreak.blogspot.com

  139. Laura

    Well said. I think I used to be a lot more insensitive about bringing up pregnancy with friends and family. Then I miscarried our 2nd baby. I learned to be much more sensitive and careful with my words because you just never know what someone is going through. Hang in there.

  140. Randi

    Don’t let the rumors get to you. You are a seriously gorgeous woman and daily inspiration to me as a parent. I just announced my own pregnancy hours ago. And I am really feeling this post. I have been feeling so bloated and fat myself. I don’t have a baby bump yet, I just look like I ate a lot of pizza and have been so self conscious that people are looking at me thinking I am so fat. And now I can yell from the mountain tops “I’m PREGNANT!”

    You are so fit and lovely, you’re kids are beautiful. You seem like you’re doing wonderful job. I am hoping my own family will be as sweet and lovely as yours. Stay strong Mama! And know that beauty comes through not only on the inside and outside, but also through those two wonderful children of yours!!! Xo, Randi

  141. Liz

    Thank you.

  142. Lauren

    I can relate. A long time ago a “friend” took an unflattering photo of me and circulated it on her social media pages, starting the rumour that I was pregnant. I got messages of congratulations from people I hadn’t spoken to since high school and it was humiliating and hurtful to have to explain countless times that I just looked bad in the picture.
    It challenged my existing body image problems, which I continue to struggle with to this day.
    It also put a weird strain on my relationship at the time.

    I never ask women if they’re pregnant because I know how much hurt it can cause.

    You’re brave.
    And you have the right to keep whatever you want private.
    There is no reason for your readers to know every corner of your life.
    We will like you anyway.
    xxx

  143. Erin

    Thank you for writing this.

  144. Kelsey

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I like it when you are more open.

    Don’t you think it’s kind of mean to make the person who asked you that question feel bad? I think it’s understandable that they would ask that, it’s not in good taste, but it’s also not in good taste to slam them on your blog.

    I am curious about how you feel about sharing so much about your children on here. I know a lot of bloggers change their children’s names on the blog or just use initials or try not to talk about them too much. I’ve heard things like “it’s not my story to share”. Have you thought about when they’re older and their friends and anyone can google them and find this? Do you ever wish you could have a small family blog again? What made you guys decide to make your family a brand?

  145. Angelica

    Naomi, Thank you for this post. I have an eating disorder. No one knows, not a sole, not even my husband. A few years ago I was going through a really healthy time in my life, I put on a few pounds, I wasn’t purging, I was really proud of myself, and then someone commented that I had put on weight. I said nothing, just smiled and walked away. I barely made it to my car before I collapsed in tears. It broke my heart, and still to this day, I think about it, and worry about putting on weight, looking fat and someone saying something like that to me again. I wish i had said something- stood up for myself, said “well, i feel great” or even “i am recovering from an eating disorder”. I am taking it day by day, moment by moment, but that day, and your post have taught me not to judge other women- how interesting it would be to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes….

    Good luck to you, Naomi. You and your beautiful family deserve only wonderful things! Thank you for your blog. It brightens my day!

  146. Gracie

    You are a rockstar!

  147. Jacqui

    Your blog/brand/bread and butter is you personal life. It’s not recipes or DIY tips, it’s your family. That’s your offering. I had still born twins and suddenly went from pregnant to not pregnant after several years of infertility, so I know all about insensitive comments, but a congratulations sounds like an innocent faux pas.

  148. Anna

    Naomi,

    I am in a Beth Moore bible study right now at our church called “Sacred Secrets” and last week this idea really stood out to me- “be authentic to all. be transparent with some. be intimate with few.” There are spaces of our lives that are sacred between us and God and/or just us and our husbands or intimate friends and that is a beautiful thing.

    You are doing a good job. I understand where you are coming from. I am so glad that I have had my own private pregnancy struggle to be able to be more merciful and sensitive to other women. This Christmas season was absolutely the worst with so many intrusive extended family members (from my husbands side of the family) trying to pry into a private sector (and at the same time not supporting me in ways I was desperate for!) I appreciate your transparency in this blog post. I admire you and as a young wife and hopeful to be mama I look up to you Naomi. I am praying for you Naomi and I am proud of you.

  149. Sending love and thoughts and prayers to your and your family!

  150. ari

    this is great to see you stand up for yourself and admit that something is bothering you. i really admire you for writing this post. your ovaries are YOUR ovaries.

  151. Kelly

    This happened to me a few weeks ago and I was so insulted. People need to mind there own business and thank you so much for addressing it!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  152. kari

    Thanks for saying this. There is power alone in admitting that you are not ready to share, but are ready to love others more. Whatever may be your struggle be encouraged that you are a woman who carries power with you. Whether that be the life giving power of creating a child, or the simplest ways of speaking truth and giving a compliment to a stranger. Thank you for not being afraid to say you’re uncomfortable with the way we treat one another. In your quietness your voice will be greatly heard.

  153. I can’t remember if I’ve ever commented, but had to say YES! This is exactly how I feel. I had a miscarriage last year and a few months later shared about it, but now regret it. Everyone feels the need to ask when we’re trying again and if I ever say something like, ‘Man, I’m tired today’ it’s instantly, YOU’RE PREGNANT! No, I’m not, but thanks for reminding me of that. And don’t get me started on the texts I get from friends when I post a selfie when I’m wearing a slightly loose fitting shirt. I understand babies and pregnancy can be great and exciting things, but I feel like people are being so nosy when they keep prying for information before you’re actually pregnant!

    Anyways, thank you for sharing your thoughts and I hope good things continue to come your way.

  154. Leticia

    Bless your heart, Naomi! If it’s not “Are you pregnant?” it’s “You’re having another one?” Or “Are all of them yours?” :) just let it roll of your back honey. I know it’s hard sometimes especially since you’re in the “public eye”. Please know that you are 100% validated in wanting to keep whatever part of your life personal. I think you and your little family are awesome! Keep being you! :0D

  155. Lisa

    Oh, goodness. I loved this post. I really appreciate your perspective. I know that you mostly share sweet bits of your life here, but we all know it is just a glimpse. And I know I am appreciative of you sharing your creative and full life here. Your comments today made me have two thoughts: 1) Life experience is such a blessing. Especially hard life experience. Those hard things are what give us empathy and compassion. I know through my miscarriages, breastfeeding issues, child behavioral issues, family tragedies and loss, I have been given the gift of perspective and a softer heart. A desire to be more gentle with those around me. 2) The hymn, “Lord, I would Follow Thee” “Savior may I love my brother, As I know thou lovest me. In the quiet heart is hidden, Sorrows that the eye can’t see…” My favorite. Anyway, thank you for your honesty and thank you for your sweet presence here on the interwebs :)

  156. AP

    Amen girl! I recently had a miscarriage- and people just don’t realize what they are saying sometimes. A co-worker went into labor the day I found out I would miscarry- and several other co-workers (who didn’t know I was preggo/about to miscarry) kept saying “you’re next!”. Really?! Really?! Why would you say that to someone who you know nothing about?! Let’s just leave each other alone!

  157. Taza! The fact that somebody would try to make a judgment on whether or not your body is looking different kind of makes my stomach twist. You’re such a beautiful woman, and my heavens, skinny! If someone is trying to tell you that you “might look pregnant” then you should punch them in the face. Forget about being your typical endearing Naomi, that chick deserves a punch.
    Anyway, you’re wonderful.

    xoxox

  158. Phillippa

    You go girl! I support you for saying something. Sometimes people feel they can say things on their phones or behind a computer screen that they would never in real life; even if it is just overly nosy and none of their business. You’re also beautiful and your family is a ray of sunshine on my instagram feed! :) Thank you for letting us in to your life and YOU have a wonderful sunshiny spring week!

  159. Melany

    I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said! Pregnancy is such a sensitive issue, and so is weight, Those are two things that really need a more sensitive approach. I have two small children and winter was delicious for me as well! Ha! As a result, my husband has picked up an elliptical machine today, haha! It would be nice to be lose a few winter pounds but I also want to have more energy for my kids. Thanks for sharing, this post was great.

  160. Jess

    You are precious. Thanks for sharing your heart and being confident in the woman that you are. Also, as a younger woman that is not married yet, thank you for giving an example of a fun and supporting wife and mother.

  161. Kay

    I knew I was lucky in the mother-in-law department when, at my wedding shower, someone I hardly know asked me “When are you gonna start having babies?!” and before I could even begin to formulate a thought or answer, my mother-in-law said very loudly “SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO ANSWER THAT!”

    I am so glad spring is arriving and I hope it bring some warm sun to shine in your soul!

  162. Marin

    a beautiful post. it’s refreshing how much you love being a mother and adore your children. it makes me excited to be a mother to my own children one day. thanks for sharing bits of your life with us.

  163. I like it when you show your other side of life. Life is hard, sometimes we all feel vanurable and sad and a try and all that. It makes you look more real and sweet. Social media changed a bit a lot about how we interact with people. There are pros and cons, but we adapt and we keep going discovering this new world. Humor is the best defence and personnaly i find it silly both extremes: “wish i had your life”, “you are a hypocrit”. We are who we are and when it comes to blog-non real world, it s fun y and interesting to see different views of life and ways of thinking about life. Who cares what others think? It was a nice glimpse into your way of thinking and be! It s nice to open up sometimes, publically and privatelly sometimes! Nice day to all and keep smiling :)

  164. Alexandra Maria

    Naomi, you have put a huge smile on my face with today’s blog. I wish you were part of my friends… I am a stay at home mommy of 3 girls (3 & 2 years old, and 6months), and it is your blog that I read and get inspire and happy for all that you do. God bless you! :)

  165. Anonymous

    Thank you for this. I am currently pregnant but I have kept it a secret because I am so sick of being judged for the fact that I haven’t had a second child. Us women need to not be so judgmental or assume that the way you like to live your life is the only way for everyone to live life. Everyone will do things how they feel is right for them and no one deserves to be looked down upon because it’s different.

    You Taza are a beautiful daughter of God, who is a wonderful example of a loving wife, mother and so much more.

  166. Emily

    I honestly was wondering (sorry!), just because I know you have shared you love having babies, and because you have not been here as much, and the timing between your littles. But I understand the painful journey of mother hood, so much more, having lost our daughter when she was 5 weeks, losing our son when he was 7 weeks old, facing secondary infertility, adopting, nearly losing another child, having him live, having our last miracle baby girl last year, and all the while, facing the seemingly innocent question: “how many kids do you have” and the most painful when I would give the answer of two “well don’t you want more?” They had no idea what we had gone through, and no idea what the pains we had faced. I learned that I just had to let the questions roll off my back, and continue to hold my head high, with dignity. Bless you Naomi and thank-you for sharing.

  167. Alena

    I have been thinking about these things lately. Having a couple of little ones in close proximity and having been unable to lose some of the love I gained with them has been hard on me (especially with comments.. Either good or bad). So, it’s left me thinking about how I can be more intentional and sensitive when taking to people about our bodies or lives or anything, really..

    Anyway, lots of love to you. Been a longtime fan of yours.. Since you offered a loooong time ago to help us find housing in dc and then I was too insecure to introduce myself when we were in your ward for the summer. Doofus. :) hope your week turns around with all this sun I hope you’re getting!

  168. Jess

    Thanks for writing this. We all fight our own personal battles everyday. Virtual hugs to you!

  169. Shannon

    Great reminder, and well said, and you look like a million bucks!

  170. Katelyn Canon

    I’ve been reading your blog for a little over two years now, but have never felt the need to interject my opinion into your life.

    I would like to say though that you are such an inspiration to me. You are poised and graceful in a way that I hope to be.

    Also, I think you just look like Naomi – which is lovely. Thank you so much for reminding us to lift each other up.

  171. hanna

    You have a lot of guts to write this, and I’m glad you did! -Hanna Lei

  172. Erin

    Naomi, this made me well up a little bit when I read it. I hear about women making these kinds of comments to each other all the time, and I’d just like to say two things about this. 1: you’re the most beautiful kind of tiny. WHAT “baby bump,” might I ask, was spotted? 2: I pray the Lord blesses you with this pure and righteous desire of your heart. You are a wonderful mother. The kind you’d expect Heavenly Father to send a dozen or more too just for the warmth and nurture of your home.
    Thank you for the honesty in this post. take care.

  173. Sarah Gabrielle

    That was such a beautiful message, l am trying everyday and l thought maybe im the only one who does. Clearly l am not and everyone has those bad days. But l totally agree with you on people being kinder to one another and helping each other out. Thanks Taza as always you inspire me xx

  174. Maker

    I so greatly appreciate your words about women. We are strong and capable but, even more, we should be compassionate and kind. And that compassion doesn’t stem from knowing what others are going through, but from giving them the space to breathe and be themselves without any explanation.

    It’s funny. I know from this blog that you are a dancer but for some reason, in this post, I got a wonderful feel for what type of dancer you are. While I’m sure you were technically great, I bet your real strength came from the emotion and passion in your performance. Sometimes being vulnerable is the most beautiful expression of our humanity and the greatest testament to our strength.

    I hope you remember during this time to give yourself plenty of space to breathe and just be, without any explanation at all.

  175. Molly

    I have been enjoying reading this blog for over two years now (you are an amazing photographer and I love the way its laid out).

    I have not once commented, but I felt the need to comment on this just to say that you could have given birth to a third child and not said anything and it would be okay (albeit a little weird considering how much your kids appear on this blog and the clear love you have for them). But the point is that this blog is not you life and as much as I think some people who like to think so, we are not your friends. I’m sure that you have met some wonderful people through blogging, but the vast majority of readers are just people who for a multitude of reasons enjoy this blog.

    From you blog and your writings you seem like a lovely person, but I do not know you, I have not sat and shared a meal or a conversation with you. Please do not take this as a criticism, I do not mean it as nothing more than to point out how ridiculous I think it is that people would be commenting on and describing such intimate parts of your life.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for doing this blog, it is one of the best I have read and I always look forward to new posts.

  176. Mel

    I got asked that the other day and kindof felt bad for the lady who asked and didn’t want embarrass her so I laughed it off with “No, it’s my pie baby” Later on my insecurities came out to my husband “Have I put on that much weight..?”

  177. Jessica

    This happened to me once! I felt so ashamed and self conscious and objectified, To know that it happened to you, with your beautiful, graceful, slender, dancer body, makes me feel comforted in the fact that comments like this are not a reflection of our bodies, but are a product of other people’s own thoughts. Thanks for sharing so strongly and openly.

  178. Mrs D

    Thank you so much for this truth Naomi! This is why I keep coming back to your blog! You have a beautiful heart, a strong and courageous spirit and a wonderful way with words.
    Interestingly, this topic has been on my mind and heart a lot lately. Probably because I’m a 30 year old wife with no children (yet) and people make comments or ask us about when we are going to have children all the time. I get it. We have been married 5 years and together for 11 years all up. But it’s still incredibly frustrating. Sometimes I just want to be blunt and respond “What business is it of yours?” Or “How do you know if we can/can’t have children?”
    I would love to be a mother someday but I trust that God’s will and timing is perfect. If/when it happens I would be so honored and blessed!
    But for now, if you don’t mind, when people ask me about pregnancy and when I’m going to start having babies, I might just steer them to this very relevant post!
    Keep doing what you are doing pretty mama!
    xo

  179. Hayley

    This is a great piece. You definitely don’t owe the Internet an update on what’s going on inside your uterus! These aspects of our lives are called our private/personal lives for a reason, and everyone should have a right to keep certain matters private if they want to (whether they happen to run a popular blog or not).

    I know people probably mean well, but they should put themselves in the other person’s shoes a bit more. I’m constantly getting questions about how I’m single and I need to hurry up and find a boyfriend (I’m 21! I have plenty of time!) and really that kind of idle instruction to find a guy before all the good ones are taken is so unproductive. It’s not going to help me find a boyfriend and, likewise, people gossiping about you aren’t going to make you get pregnant.

    You’re doing an awesome job, Naomi, you love your kids to bits and they clearly know it. Well done :)

  180. Kat

    It is never okay to ask someone if they’re pregnant and the more people that understand that, the better! Thanks so much for this post Naomi xx

  181. E

    Dear Taza,
    I have admired your blog for two years but this is my first comment. I have wanted to write before but I think that this time around, I was compelled by our shared passion for respect. Thank you for your brave post. I love your words and I hope people read them and actually pay attention to what you are asking.

    I am a mother to two boys but they did not come easily to my husband and me. Indeed, I know too much of the pain of infertility, miscarriage, and loss that you wrote about. I appreciate your willingness to be honest about feelings that are very hard to articulate – you did a great job, and I am behind you.

    Best wishes,
    E

  182. Naomi, thank you so much for sharing this! I’m sure I won’t say anything that hasn’t already been said by so many other kind souls in the comments, but I just wanted to echo their sentiments and let you know that the way you addressed such a sensitive subject with the utmost grace and tact, as well as the courage you displayed in being vulnerable and sharing a piece of your heart, is incredibly inspiring. Thank you for being real and for saying things that need to be said. You’re wonderful!

  183. Lucy W.

    Taza,
    I’m not sure if you’ll ever get around to reading this (afterall, I’ve had to scroll through so many kind words to just get to the comment box) but I hope that if you do, you can be comforted, encouraged, and lifted up. I’m so sorry that you’ve been made to feel hurt. I’ve loved being a reader and have been allowed a glimpse into your and your family’s life. I find your blog incredibly aspirational. Your love for your husband and little ones is so pure and true. Reading your stories throughout the years has warmed my heart and rekindled a desire to find my soul mate and god willing, start a family. I went to NYU and lived in nyc for years after and have always been delighted that a family such as yours lived there. You guys are such a light to me and your stories have brought me so much delight and laughter. Thank you for writing so vulnerably through all of life’s ups and downs. Thank you for your honesty and courage to write this post. You have every right to express your hurt and frustration. I no longer live in the city that stole my heart but continue to read your blog religiously to get my nyc fix and to feel encouraged and warmed by the love that you feel towards your family and the love that your family feels for my beloved city. Thank you for writing-please continue to journal. You’ve inspired me in more ways than one. Chin up Taza, you’re a rockstar.

  184. Samowar

    I am very sorry, it sounds very painful!
    To tell the truth, when I saw a photo of you in the previous post I also suspected that you must be expecting. It’s the blouse – that straight fit that doesn’t hug your beautiful frame – and the fact that from your blog it’s so clear what a wonderful mother you are and how much you love your babies. And if I had that question in my head – than only as a good luck thinking.
    But I’ve always known that one should NEVER ask that question.
    And recently it happened to me. At a party someone looked and looked at my loose blouse. Again, and again. And there it was: “Are you pregnant”? I shook my head. To myself I thought: “Would you like to hear that right now, inside of me there’s a two-and-a-half months old fetus/baby that stopped developing several weeks ago. I just had a miscarriage of twins – and one already has passed, but the other one is still taking his/her time.” Would that person be horrified or disgusted? I don’t know, but I am sure that person was not looking for this kind of information, so I didn’t offer it.
    I also probably wouldn’t be able to say that much, as I’d start crying the minute I’d open my mouth.

  185. Agnesss

    Dear Taza,

    I totally understand your point of view. Im almost 30 and I miscarried 3 times already. Last time this January. Generally i don’t feel ready to talk about that, but today i felt that this is good moment.
    Few weeks after it happend one person also aksed me if i’m pregnant. That was the most painful question ever..

    Keep well.
    You are one of the strongest and the most amazing person that i “know” :)

  186. Aleisha

    You don’t look pregnant but I also know it is a vital rule that unless someone says they are pregnant, don’t assume. I’ve been lucky enough the only time people asked was when I was 6 months pregnant but never say never!

    Buttonforabird.blogspot.com

  187. Sophia

    I’m praying for you, Naomi!

    The Internet provides that anonymous space where our worst urges and instincts can be secretly be fed – just like curiosity.
    We all really have no idea what is going on and I think it is healthy that way. So thank you for valuing these struggles and joys of life that are just meant to be known by you.

    Lots of love!!

    PS: I think you have a beautiful figure! I have no idea how you’ve kept it that way with two kids! :)

  188. brittany

    you. do. not. look. pregnant. and people are stupid. especially people at church (sometimes)

    i have struggled with an eating disorder for over 6 years now. my weight goes up and down like a yoyo. when i am on an up swing, i get asked if pregnant. when i’m on a down, i get asked if i am sick. it’s just the way my body reacts after years of mistreating it. i am finally in a good place and healthy, but man, it is crushing when someone points out that i’m bigger than i was 2 or 3 years ago.

    somehow fellow church members think it’s ok to ask questions that they should’t just because we are fellow church members!! this does not make us bffs, and no, I’m not sick or prego. so put your nose back into that hymn book and out of my face!!

    i feel you, girl. and you are stunning. sometimes i look at you and think ” i want to look like that. and live in nyc. oh and i’d also like that bugaboo buffalo!!!” haha!

    best to you and yours…

  189. Caitie

    The facts that so many women can relate to this post says something about how badly we need to change the way we talk to each other about huge topics like this. You call em like you see em and we are grateful! Thank you for saying it so eloquently and putting your vulnerability on the line.

  190. Rebecca

    I’ve always been very sensitive about this subjcct, even before struggling with infertility myself for 3 years. There are many choices people make in their lives, and sometimes it’s not a choice. I figure people will tell me when they are ready, and I don’t ask otherwise, or assume anything. Through the last 3 years we were very open about our struggles, in the hopes people would understand that it’s not so easy for everyone and questions can hurt a lot.

    We were finally blessed and I’m now half way, and somehow I’m still able to hide it so well I think many people don’t even know yet I’m expecting. Which I don’t mind at all, after all these years I’m just happy to enjoy this by meself (well, with my partner of course). I hope your post means as much to many others as it meant to me.

  191. Gemma

    Thanks for this Naomi, I got married in October and all I get is questions about children. People don’t know that me and my husband have been trying for a baby since late December and we just haven’t caught yet. It puts so much strain and pressure on us and especially me. I am very down at the moment as I want a baby more than anything and every month it doesn’t happen I feel like someone is smashing a rock in to my heart. I’ve noticed when you are trying to, everyone else seems to be getting pregnant and it hurts. So questions and intrusions from strangers really doesn’t help. Thanks for having a voice on this topic, it really helped me. You are wonderful xxx

  192. Virginia

    Naomi,

    You are such a strong, brave and gorgeous woman! I am a new mom and I have found so much love and inspiration in this blog.
    I love the way you approach the good and not so good things in life, I love when you share little things from your life, but I also admire the way you keep family matters private. Because it makes you genuine.
    I respect you for the great woman you’ve become and I am sure you will continue to become, and the great mama and wife you are.
    Please don’t let anyone make you feel sad, many of us appreciate and love the way you are.
    I send you my best wishes all the way from Spain!xo

  193. Lucie

    Dear Naomi,

    thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. I am very much on board with everything you write here, having myself (as probably all women out there) suffered very personal and inappropriate questions about pregnancy. I try not to be bothered by them but it’s not always easy, especially when they come from people whom you consider close friends or family and whom you thought of as sensitive and intelligent.

    Thank you also for sharing all of your pregnancy/baby experiences with Eleanor and Samson. Currently expecting our first child (after a miscarriage), your tips and comments are very helpful to read.

    I am sending you all my love and crossing my fingers for an upcoming successful pregnancy for you.

    Lucie

  194. steph o

    Struggling with expanding one’s family for any reason is so emotionally fraught on its own. I can’t imagine doing so while fielding public speculation about it. My yearlong struggle with infertility (before giving birth to my beautiful baby girl) was the hardest, and I would just about burst into tears if anyone brought up the idea of me being pregnant or having kids. Hopefully this post helps the lucky ones who have never had to struggle emotionally, physically, or financially with having a child to be more thoughtful in the future.

  195. Anna

    Hello Naomi,
    I have never commented here before but I follow your blog for years now.
    I have so much respect for you and your values. And it is really your decision if you want to tell your public something or not.
    Thank you for your reminder to be more sensitive and to have more sympathy with everyone’s situation.
    Thank you for inspiring me a lot, when it comes to optimism, compassion, creativity and fashion…
    Thank you for staying who you are and not being some replica like so many people.
    Thank you for sharing your feelings with us, which is very brave.
    Thank you for reinforcing positivity in every detail of (y)our life.
    Because that is so important!!
    I am a teacher and try to stay positive as often as I can.
    Empathy. That’s what you have.

    Thank you Naomi. Thank you that you are so cool:)
    Anna

  196. Connie

    I am one of the persons that wondered and commented if you are pregnant or not, mostly because I saw a bit of a bump and not because you looked heavier. I apologize if I offended you in any way, but you do realize that this blog is EXCLUSIVELY ABOUT YOUR PRIVATE LIFE. So think about it: you show everything about your life or at least this is what you make us believe, but all of a sudden you are all shy about it. This is not a fashion blog, nor a cooking blog, nor is a travel blog, is a BLOG ABOUT YOUR PRIVATE LIFE, so than again you are expected to tell us about your private life.

  197. Sara

    How is it possibly in 2014 people have still not caught onto the fact that it is rude and invasive to ask a woman if she is pregnant?

  198. Sanna

    Go Naomi! So well written. Hugs

  199. erica

    I needed this post. This is literally a page out of my life. thank you

  200. Molly

    Thank you for writing this at just the right moment. Know that your vulnerability has made a lot of other women feel better understood and not so alone.

    I am, in fact, pregnant and I’ve been astonished by the golden ticket it has been for people to comment on my body. Suddenly, everyone’s a doctor. I’m carrying low, I’m about to burst, actually I’m quite small, my belly is pointy, or it’s so perfectly round, and all these things mean something about my health or how I’ve been caring for myself.

    Perhaps, unless we’re medical professionals (or close friends with a genuine concern), we keep our comments to ourselves. We’re all interesting enough to find another avenue to connect to each other unrelated to something as obvious as a person’s physical state.

  201. Makayla

    Naomi, i have been a follower of your blog for a few years now, but i rarely comment. I would just like to thank you for posting this. I have only been married for a year, and straight away the questions start about when we are having a baby. I am a bit sick of people at church assuming that i am pregnant, or constantly checking to see if i am pregnant, especially as we are struggling with infertility. It is definitely something that i think people need to be more sensitive about. I am trying to be braver about the topic, but i still feel sensitive if people bring things up to me.
    Thank you for your post. Love your blog.
    :)

  202. I want to give you a giant hug. You inspire with everything from your words of wisdom, to your style to how much you love your littles. While this is a public fourm you deserve respect and kindness. It is never a bad thing to remind people that we need to think before we speak or post something on the internet.

    Xx

  203. Christina Gibson

    You couldn’t have possibly known how much I needed to hear this today. I have been asked that a few times and, as someone with a 10 year eating disorder, it sends me right back into the hell that living that way is. Thank you, thank you.

  204. J'aime

    Dearest Naomi

    I have read your blog from the very beginning & loved where it started & where it is now. I love your love & joy for your family, life & work but whilst I habitually read your blog, I would never be so presumptuous or downright rude as to ask if you were pregnant. I wouldn’t even do that with my closest friends & we talk about pretty much EVERYTHING. As women, there is so much wrapped up in our bodies & how we feel about them, pregnancy & wanting/trying to get pregnant….it is a minefield at times & we should be sensitive to that, whether it is a friend or someone whose lives we follow on a day-to-day basis. Yes, your blog is about your private life & I’m sure if & when the day comes, you will share the happy news as you did with your last two beautiful ones & those of us who have respect for our fellow ladies will rejoice with you in your announcement. However, that does not excuse people lambasting you for sharing your private life & then being upset when people who do not know you ask if you are pregnant. You choose to share your life with those who subscribe to your blog, but it is also your choice to tell us what you want, when you want & it is also our choice to read your blog & therefore have some respect for someone else’s private life. We do hold exclusive rights to your life, no matter how sad some of us are that obviously think we do & have nothing better to do than ask personal questions.
    So sorry you have had a rough time at the moment, you are not alone. I am currently pregnant with my first & I am due in a week & a half & it’s been a tough journey. Whilst I am a very sharing person, there are some things that remain private until I wish to share them, irrelevant of whether or not I have a blog. I only hope I can raise my child & maintain my integrity & grace as well as you do Naomi. Much love to you & your lovely family.

  205. Allie

    I’ve enjoyed reading this blog for a few years because of the picturesque life it details. This post, however, is full of the contradictions that arise when a blogger who has essentially made a business out of posting about her personal life asks for privacy. You have branded yourself, your husband, your children and once upon a time, your dog, by posting your likenesses on the internet and hocking bleach pens and handbags. Now, because you feel hurt about looking pregnant, you are talking about women’s bodies and boundaries? You are the opposite of the celebrities on Capitol Hill who are demanding that the photographers stay away from their children. I mean, you are essentially your own paparazzi.

  206. J'aime

    Sorry for the typo, that meant to read

    “We do NOT hold exclusive rights to your life, no matter how sad some of us are that obviously think we do & have nothing better to do than ask personal questions.”

    Oh baby brain!

  207. Samantha

    It’s funny you posted this today. I check your blog every few days and I was thinking today that you have seemed off and distant from this space. I wondered what was wrong in that back of my head kind of way. I’m am so sad to hear that people have found a way to claim that they know you, your choices and where you are at. How terribly exhausting and frustrating. Although you recognize the extent in which people feel as though they can comment, since you have opened your world to all if us, it must still be overwhelming and exhausting. I hope by addressing these issues within this context those individuals will step back, even if for a moment, to reflect on their comments and thoughts. Thank you for allowing us to have a glimpse of your world, but it is indeed a glimpse and we must all keep that in perspective. Privacy is important. Take care of yourself. You deserve it first and foremost.

  208. Victoria

    Unfortunately, people don’t always think before they speak. My boys are all grown now but when I was pregnant with my third, I can’t tell you how many random strangers walked up to me to let me know they hoped this one was a girl. I honestly wanted to spit in their faces! Being able to even have 3 healthy babies was a blessing beyond anything.

    After the birth of my third beautiful son, the comments got even worse. Right in front of my 4 and 2 year old, women would say “Oh well, you’re still young, you can try again”. I would reply “try again for what? I already hit the lottery with my 3 gorgeous boys”. And it was always women who made the rude comments!

    Enjoy this time of your life so that one day, when your babies are grown, you can look back with smiles and fond memories. Your uterus and its contents are nobody’s business but your own and just because you’ve shared things on your blog does not make you obligated! You’re a wonderful mom doing a wonderful job of raising 2 beautiful kids in the least kid friendly part of the country. You should feel very proud of yourself!

  209. Monica Kate

    I never comment on your blog, but read it every day. Loved bumping into you in DC and @ Church…winter may have been “delicious” as you say, but you look amazing, simply radiant and I don’t think they asked because you looked pregnant…they most likely asked because they think mothers like you need to have oodles of kids because you: have darling kids, remain a fashionista after kids, and make it look so charming. each day is an elegant vignette into your life and more little feet and chubby hands need to be in you and Josh’s space. …or so she/he may have thought. That is it. We are all just a bit jealous. That being said, didn’t you just have a baby? goodness me! you handled this situation with more grace than I would have! I would have made a few enemies that day. Keep making us jealous, we adore it, you, and your sharing your lives with us.

    MK

  210. Julia

    Like so many others, thank you for being so brave & posting on a topic that truly affects all women. Everyday assumptions and comments are made based on appearance with very little or no knowledge of the person, their struggles, or emotions inside. It’s unfair you have been struggling with these assumptions lately, however, I applaud you for standing up to them by deciding to be more mindful of your own behavior. All to often I feel we are hurt by other’s actions & reprimand them for them without looking at our own.

    P.S. My sister and I are similar in age gaps as your children. When she was an infant, I wandered up to the alter, made it under our pastor’s cloak, and interrupted communion (to say the least). After retrieving me, my mother had to do the long walk down the aisle, so I think you are golden. :)

  211. Lauren

    I’m a long-time reader and I’ve never commented but I have to say I so appreciate the honesty in this post. I don’t follow any social media so I was unaware of the pregnancy blowup but I’m sorry that people feel so entitled to your life. I think readers sometimes forget that a blog is a curated glimpse at a person’s life, not a personal journal. I read a comment above saying that this blog is about your private life and I respectfully disagree. This a blog about what you CHOOSE to share about your life. There’s a huge difference. In any case, I identify with what you’ve said about strangers / friends / family feeling they have the right to comment on a woman’s body, and the negative effect it can have on that woman. Keep rocking on, sister!

  212. Libby

    Big hugs. Been there. Heard that. Fought that battle. Responded in all kinds of ways….I like the way you have handled this.

    Through my own struggles I’ve learned to stop asking questions about other people’s family planning. Ever. But I do appreciate the few people who have asked “Would you like to have kids someday?” or “Would you like to have more children someday?” It’s infinitely better than “When will you have (more) kids?!?!” Much less likely to provoke me to want to scream: I.DON’T.KNOW.

    :)

  213. Beautiful post. I couldn’t agree more w everything you said.

    juliettelaura.blogspot.com

  214. CH

    Don’t you wish we could just erase “baby bump” from the lexicon? Ugh. It sounds like an innocuous phrase but people almost always use it in such an intrusive, voyeuristic way.

    And… maybe I’m the only one who finds this weird. But your post is basically a really polite way of saying “MYOB about other people’s bodies” and half the comments on it are talking about your body! They are obviously meant as “compliments” but I wonder if people realize that talking about your size in any way is exactly the opposite of what this post is about.

  215. Katy

    Fantastic post. I admire your honesty and strength. Keep on keepin’ on.

  216. Harriet

    To be honest I was really upset to read this. I think people forget the courage it takes to write a blog and essentially expose you’re life to the outside world. You are an incredibly courageous mother and if I could be like you when I have babies I will be more than happy. Your life decisions are between you and your husband (family) at the end of the day. I admire your honesty, even with the smallest things. All you have to remember is you’re a great wife, a fantastic mother, and rather perfect in God’s eyes!

  217. Anne

    You are so inspiring. Bravo for this post, and for keeping some privacy in your life. You deserve it!

  218. Anne-Marie

    My husband and I were surprised by our first pregnancy and intended to keep our news private until we had time to adjust to the idea of parenthood. I was devastated when, at a friend’s birthday party, several guests called attention to the fact that I wasn’t drinking, teasing me and pressuring a response as to the state of my uterus. It became a central topic of conversation at the gathering, making me feel uncomfortable, unsafe, and, frankly, hurt. I wasn’t ready to share. Since then, I’ve developed a lot of empathy for women who feel forced to divulge information before they are ready — even to close friends at a birthday party, even to fellow church members, even on a public blog.

    I think your earlier blogging voice was unguarded, perhaps because there was less at stake for you. Now that you have a family to protect, I hope you’re able to find a way to write authentically while still maintaining your privacy. I don’t envy you in that task, but I do wish you the best.

  219. Emily

    “…winter was just really delicious.” What a great line!

    And a good blog post. Well-written and honest.

    Appreciated reading it.

    Keep smiling!

    E.

  220. Maelle

    Very well said :) I had no clue that people were assuming you were pregnant so i was certainly not expecting a post like this, but i wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. I’ve been reading your blog for the past 3 years now and it seems to me that you have found the perfect balance between what you are willing to share with us and what you keep for yourself and your loved ones. This balance is something that i really appreciate. Not sharing every single moments of your life or your struggles does not make you less brave than other bloggers, it makes you different and humble. I love your blog for the positivity and modesty that it brings out. Reading it had got me through rough periods of my own life and it gave me hope and something to look up to. You are a beautiful person in and out.
    Lots of love from France xx

  221. Carie

    I just love your “winter was delicious” comeback! It’s so strange how women of that certain age become public property to one degree or other. I’m currently expecting our third and showing far bigger and sooner than with the first and oh the comments!!

  222. Wendi

    Naomi,

    I, too, have struggled with these same questions. And I love when you share your heart like this, even if you don’t give details. i don’t need to know them. But it’s nice to connect in this way every once in awhile.

    Women, I think, are often quick to ask questions or make comments they shouldn’t because they think they have the “right” to…since we’re all women and we will all struggle with issues about marriage, pregnancy, fertility, babies, child-rearing, menopause, etc. at some point in our lives. But we don’t have that right. I love reading birth stories, but I’m not going to ask someone what her story is unless she chooses to offer it to me. You made it clear a long time ago that you wouldn’t share your birth stories or certain details because…well…that’s your choice. And I think that should be respected, regardless of how public your life might seem. We only see glimpses each day. That doesn’t give us a free pass into your whole world.

    I hope your day gets better. And when and if you get pregnant again, or choose not to, or decide to adopt or WHATEVER…know that we are happy to hear it from you when you DECIDE to share it.

    Wendi

  223. Lauren

    Great post! I don’t know why people can be so extremely nosy/insensitive/tactless sometimes. I’m sorry that you even had to post a response to that kind of behavior, but I applaud you for standing up for yourself and many other women out there in the same boat. You are a true inspiration to modern moms and women all over, including me! Thank you.

  224. Lauren E.

    Oh man, this hit me at a very appropriate time. You’re right – we really never know someone’s situation. I’ve been in a happy relationship for four years now and am so unbelievably tired of being asked when we’re getting married. When? When we’re ready. And we’re not. I feel like bursting into tears myself some days. It’s a gentle reminder to stop putting expectations on others. Thanks for this lovely post. Bravo.

  225. You are brave. Even if you choose not to share EVERYTHING you put a lot out there and for a lot of people. With that comes risk, judgement, rumors, etc. But you have stood strong and you will continue to do so because you are an amazing individual and we all know it! Chin up love, great things are in store for you.

    xo

    Michaela

    http://michaelajeanblog.com

  226. Sarah

    Love this post. Really enjoyed you addressing that persistent rumour in this manner – nice one! Xx

  227. Janis

    Well said! :)

  228. Lori!

    This is a question that no one should ask. You never know what someone is going through.

  229. Liz

    And I was thinking you looked super skinny in all your photos!

    Since you aren’t pregnant, I say your family needs to take a trip to a roller coaster theme park and take advantage of being able to go on all those fun rides.

    In the meantime, good luck!

  230. Mélanie

    Bonjour !

    Je suis française et je suis ton blog depuis longtemps déjà …
    C’est la première fois que je te laisse un commentaire. je tenais à te remercier pour cet cet article… J’ais fais une fausse couche en décembre à 2 mois de grossesse et je me sens seule, j’ai l’impression d’être la seule et de n’être comprise par personne. Depuis j’ai surmonté cette douleur et avec mon mari nous essayons d’avoir un autre bébé mais nous supportons mal la pression sociale qu’il peut peser sur nous (c’est pour quand ce bébé ? vous y travaillez au moins ?)
    Beaucoup de bonheur avec ta formidable famille <3
    Une french lectrice =)

  231. Thanks for sharing this word. There are many of us out there that can relate to the feelings you expressed in this post. I once had someone ask me the day after a miscarriage if I was pregnant. I almost cried right there in front of her, then screamed at her for bringing it up, but I pulled myself together and reminded myself she had no idea and certainly meant no harm. But, I did go home and cry. You just never know what people are going through. Such a good reminder that we should all be so very sensitive to this, I’ll never ask another woman when she “plans’ to have another baby again? It’s just none of our business, like you said, if she wants you to know, she’ll tell you. Thanks again for having the courage to share this bit of wisdom here, Best wishes to you and your sweet family.

  232. Mayoli

    Naomi,

    What a beautiful post. Thank you for being so open and so honest. I married my husband a little over a year ago and neither of us is ready for kids yet. I was so surprised/shocked/awkward the first time that a family member asked me if we were planning on having kids soon.
    I was enraged and wanted to rant but in this post you have managed to express everything I felt at that moment and more and you did it so gracefully.

    You are a role model and I hope that you know that you are gorgeous!

    xox

  233. Sometimes church can be the worst place for insensitivity and nosiness. After our son passed away people constantly asked us when we were going to have more children.

    Hang in there and continue to chart your own course through life.

  234. Vandy

    I feel like you were able to take all of the thoughts floating around in my head and put them down in words. Thank you thank you thank you. The world needs more women like you.

  235. Grace

    Naomi you do not look pregnant AT ALL!!!!! saw your tweet about tight pants after winter and thought “yeah right…you should see me try to fit into MY jeans…i’ll make your winter weight look like a big lunch!”

    saw some comments on insta and was very confused! the internet is a very tricky place to share even the smallest detail of your life. there will always be strange or nasty comments. you are an awesome woman and an inspiration to so many! I hope you don’t get too discouraged or self- conscious, you are seriously beautiful and really gorgeous!

  236. Franziska

    Dear Naomi
    Thank you for this personal and open post. Without oversharing or letting anything hang out that should be aired first you touched upon a very relevant topic. I love nice pictures of your adorable kiddies but it’s this recaptured realness (is that even a word?) that draws me in and onto your blog. I wish you the openness and courage to keep finding the balance of sharing what feels right as well as partial deafness to all the insensitive chatter out there you simply don’t need.

    smiles, Franziska

  237. Grace

    ps: every single picture of you, you look really skinny!!

  238. Andrea

    I always feel the need to apologize when I find a blog via GOMI, so I apologize.

    A few years ago I went to a casual, outdoor wedding, wearing a casual, outdoor wedding outfit. We drank and danced and had a nice time. Fast forward to a year later, when I ran into one of the other wedding guests at a cookout, who proceeded to ask me if I had “had the baby”. I told her that I hadn’t had a baby, and she proceeded to inform me that when she had seen me the previous year at the wedding that I was pregnant. I assured her that I was not (and the fact that I had a drink in my hand for the entire wedding should have been an indication) and she insisted that I was! It was the most awkward, uncomfortable exchange ever. The dress I wore to that wedding is at the back of my closet until I can find some poor sucker to donate it to. Ugh.

  239. Paige

    So grateful for this post! I feel like so many people decide to make things their business when they’re not. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through all this lately and truly hope that people begin to be kinder to you and your family and show a little more class towards you. I totally agree that simply because you don’t share your entire life on the internet does not mean that you’re scared or not strong, it’s just simply private, and some things you just don’t want the whole world knowing.

  240. Melanie

    This has been such a sensitive topic to me for years. I have large growths in my abdomen that make my otherwise skinny frame look pregnant. When we were trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant and coworkers would stop me in the hall and ask me if I was, I would go home and cry. When I would shop at a children’s store for a niece or nephew and the stupid shop attendant would look down at my belly and ask me when I was due while smiling some stupid know it all smile, I would walk out. No, no, it’s none of your business no.

    I was able to go on to have two amazing children and endured snarky, mean remarks about my size the entire time. I am currently pregnant with a third and the prognosis is not great. Because of that I have no desire to share anything, too painful, yet people are incredibly offended that I won’t announce it.

    For some reason pregnancy possibility makes everyone feel entitled to information. I don’t get it.

  241. Erin

    Oh dear, I’m sorry. I’ve been asked that too, and it’s hard not to let it make you sad for a few days, even if you were previously feeling fine. Let alone struggling with disordered eating, or infertility, or a load of things I am probably ignorant of that others are bravely living with every day. Sending good and supportive thoughts your way.

  242. kelly

    well said. thank you. i think a lot of women out there feel this on a daily basis and it is very hard sometimes to get through the day. thanks for being real and being you.

  243. Becka

    I think your message is completely right and I think it’s really brave of you to write this. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  244. rockon

    I had a miscarriage many years ago.It was a very emotional time.I remember being jealous of other pregnant women,it would have been easy to lash out at others.However I had the grace to be grateful for the two children I already had.I know the pain of loosing a much longed for child.It was a very very emotional time full of tears and sadness.It was really hard when people asked if I was pregnant.I just wanted to explode and scream.But it wasn’t their fault they really did mean well.I just couldn’t see it then.Sometimes life throws us some cruel blows.If any of you are going through a miscarriage and infertility. I send you love.I send you peace.I send you a hug.I send you hope.If you believe in god like I do.I want you to know that god is with you in the midst of the storm.Love love love you all………..

  245. Claudia

    Hi Naomi,
    I don’t think I’ve ever commented on your blog but I just had to tell you that I’ve been following for years and am so sorry you are going through this. You are a beautiful and uplifting woman and I have nothing but love and respect for you. Thank you for sharing bits and pieces of your life with strangers like me.
    Love,
    This proud mama of 4 from Eugene, OR

  246. Renee

    What beautiful words! I have thought exactly the same ideas! I think it’s a difficult situation – just wait until she announces. Plus, it’s the couple’s pregnancy, why would you want to rob from her the fun of announcing, once the Lord blesses them with a pregnancy.

    I’m glad you shared, even if it’s difficult for you. Don’t worry, the Lord has it all. It’s all on Him!

  247. Kate

    Bravo, Naomi! I love, love, love this.

  248. Love this post Naomi. You are such a genuine blogger. Kudos for you for writing it and being so sincere. You truly an inspiration.
    I must confess, I do hate when I see comments like that PLUS how people love asking “where is that from?” for every little thing on instagram. Just like the picture and move on peeps. I cringed every time.

  249. Emily

    I’m so sorry for the hurtful comments. After my second son was born I was asked 42 times in a year if I was pregnant again. I kept count after it kept happening. It was devastating to me. I struggle with infertility and I’m not a size 2 but I for sure didn’t look pregnant and it was so hurtful. Now? I do NOT ask. If someone tells me they are pregnant, great. But even into the 9th month of pregnancy I do not bring it up first. You just never know what someone is going through. I hope what you are struggling with gets easier for you. You’re wonderful and I love to read everything you have to say!

  250. Tracy

    I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks in August of last year. Today is my due date, and it has been hard. This post really made me feel like I’m not alone in this. Thank you.

  251. Jolie

    I was thinking you looked TONED, those beautiful dancer legs you have! You look fantastic, and your hair is amazing blonde. Keep on doing what you’re doing.

    xo from Texas

  252. Madison

    Seriously?? You don’t even look pregnant!!?? Which is why I don’t understand where these rumors started? You look great and are perfect in every shape, way and form. Much love!

  253. Liz

    You are so right. It’s nice to not really see people’s bodies or even their fashion in some sense, just to tune into their energy–which ends up directing us to the most joyous people! And you are one. I don’t look at your shape and while I love your style maybe I don’t see that as much as your joy…Thank you for all your lovely sharing and inspiration!!! xo

  254. BV

    Thank you for addressing this. I have been bothered by all of the instagram/ blog comments lately. If people haven’t noticed it is winter. Winter entails puffy jackets, big sweaters and layers. Winter apparel does not mean you’re covering something up. Even if you were… it is your prerogative because it is your body. People are so quick to judge but most comments come from excitement and curiosity, so don’t let it bring you down. Naomi, please know that you have so much support and the positive outweigh the negative, You read the minds of so many people and put this out there for all to see and although you had a rough moment and had to experience this first hand you are now saving women from having to go through that experience because you are educating women on being on the receiving side of that conversation and it isn’t always as nice.

  255. I think you’re making a much bigger deal out of this than is warranted. You’ve been vaguely dropping hints about exciting hush-hush news to be announced “later” and everyone who reads this blog knows that you and your husband priortize a large family as one of your life goals. Your readers just get excited (and excited for you) and no one is asking this question from a “holy cow, she’s fat she must be pregnant!” standpoint. It’s more of a “she’s got big exciting news, let’s hope it’s another baby!” standpoint. People love to read about your family life and look forward to watching you grow your family.

    And I agree, you can’t pick and choose the parts of private life anymore when you put your family out into the world as a monetized brand. It just doesn’t work that way – ask any celebrity in Hollywood.

  256. Thank you so much for writing this! As someone who is teetering in the infertility camp, lately I’ve been hyper aware of my words and words of others. Most really don’t mean harm but in their ignorance hurt still occurs. It’s a good reminder for all of us to think before asking questions about private matters.

  257. Stephanie Perkins

    There are so many things people say…. one of the best things to think silently when people say things that aren’t necessaricarily worth the time of day is, “Pray, and don’t worry.” That’s the beauty of your life, it is solely your own :)

    So go own with your rock star self and “Pray my dear sister, and don’t dare worry” :)

    Love surrounds you always – Stephanie

  258. Taylor

    Thank you for your speech/rant. It was actually very appreciated. It’s hard, especially in the blogging world, to decide what to and what not to share with the internet world. I love telling people all the exciting things in my life, but I’m like you and I also enjoy keeping them to myself. Also, it’s so much easier to share the good than the bad and the hard and sometimes the truth. I try to keep things real on my blog and let my own readers know that, no, I’m not perfect. My life is crazy and hectic and I’m just doing my best to keep my head above water most days. But at the same time, those things are often private and not really worth sharing. The parts that are tough and also parts that hurt a heck of a lot more if someone were to comment rather harshly on it.

    Keep doing what you’re doing, girl.
    Oh, and you look great! Definitely not pregnant (and when/if you are, you’ll look just as cute!)

    xoxo
    Taylor

    http://www.welcomehometaylor.com

  259. you go girl. so much love and respect for you. sending joy your way!
    xx

  260. B.

    Thank you for putting it out there , it is so very important. People can be so insensitive (i am sure i have been before as well) . I can completely sympathize . I had a daughter 5 years ago… When she was about 17 months i had a breakdown (most likely due to hormones/ weaning) , that .out of the. blue It hit me like a train and made me end up in the emergency room etc etc…. I recovered fairly quickly, BUT the memory of those dark few weeks have forever changed me and as much as i long for another child i cripple with fear every time i think about getting pregnant again. Needless to say people ask me all the time : how come you don’t have an other one yet? when are you having another one? Most people think it is very odd and that there must be something going on with our relationship . It could not be further from the truth of course but i don like sharing intimate details of my life with everyone i meet. It does not help any that i used to be very vocal about how many kids i wanted…. i am hoping that someday i will have the strength to overcome my fears and bring another child into this world! Thank you so much for sharing this with us , it means a lot. we all need to be a little more sensitive towards other human beings……

  261. Tara

    I’ve followed your blog for several years. Being an east coast girl, lost in the south, I’ve always enjoyed being able to visit home territory vicariously. I’ve also loved to see the process of trying to blend family life with the desire to continue to thrive creatively. Lately, it seems like there has become more and more of an adversarial tone between yourself and your followers. I’ve also noticed a lot more in the way of plugs. I wish you the very best in all you do, I just don’t need to dial into general reprimands addressed to your following.

  262. Krystal

    Um….not quite sure how people got the idea you ‘look’ pregnant. I think you look gorgeous! I so agree that even though you are a blogger….you have your own personal life and emotions. I used to get asked all the time ‘when are you having a baby’…..mean while I was unable to have children naturally and had to go through fertility treatments. And there is nothing worse than not being pregnant and now feeling like people think you look fat or something. I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth plenty of times in all types of situations in the past and I am trying very hard to keep my mouth shut regarding personal issues. Personal space is so very important no matter who you are. Just because you blog doesn’t mean we deserve to know every tid bit of your life. I know it’s hard to open up to even family and good friends sometimes…..so I know this is weird but if you ever want to just vent or babble or whatever……send me a line :) Sometimes talking to people you don’t know and can’t see is theraputic. Have a great day!

  263. Effie

    I’ll be honest…I totally thought you were pregnant. There’s been a lack of action on your blog and instagram and I just assumed you were busy with your two kids and not feeling well due to a pregnancy. I never commented, but I totally thought it. Obviously it’s your prerogative to post however many times you wish, and I guess I’m just a spoiled blog reader expecting a new and exciting post every time I visit.

    I hope that whatever it is you’re going through, you are able to find peace, and know too, that your readers support your honesty, so speak up if you want! When you get honest and real with us it humanizes you so much!

    xoxo

  264. Taylor

    I’m sorry that you’re struggling, but I love this post. Sometimes I come to your space and feel a little inadequate. I have no idea how you juggle it all. But every now and then you show this really vulnerable side of yourself and it makes for the most wonderful insights.

    I was relatively thin after graduating college. Roughly a size 6 or so. I have always been a runner and was in great shape – BUT I have terrible posture. I stand with my hips pushed forward, and quickly learned that if wearing the right dress, this stance makes me look pregnant.

    Two of my most embarrassing moments happened when total strangers asked me when I was due and in fact I wasn’t pregnant at all. One such occasion occurred when I was meeting some of my boyfriends’ childhood friends for the first time.

    More understandably, a bank teller asked me if I was pregnant one week after delivering my first. I was fragile and cried the whole way home.

    It’s wrong to ask for so, so many reasons.

  265. renata

    I remember long long ago, your babies weren’t born and you said you were a bit sad. When i came to the comment form, i saw readers were having a discussion about what was going on or not in your life, that you’d probably wanted to get pregnand and stuff like that… and i was so shocked! Like… wtf? Why do people take so much time to speculate about someone elses’ sadness and dare to comment on that online, i just couldn’t get it. There are so many things that can make you feel sad, and if it’s not being able to get pregnant COME ON, you don’t have to be that smart to know it’s a really sensitive issue for a woman and a couple to drop it just like that!It’s common sense! But, you know, haters will hate, and love prevails, the amount of people showing love and supporting you will always be way larger.

    XoX

  266. Olivia Ley

    So well said. Thank you for your vulnerability,.. has helped me tremendously.

  267. Georgiana

    Dearest Naomi, I’m so sorry you went through this.It must feel so terrible to be put on the spotlight like that, like people are stripping you of all privacy. I think today’s society is nosy, and people feel like it’s their rght to give their opinion even when not asked (I live in Romania and one of the many things that bugs me about Romanians is that a complete stranger can walk up to you and treat you like they’ve known you all their life, not in a good way I mean, so I can only imagine what it’s like for people to comment like that on your body (which is like a ballerinas, if you know what I mean:)) or any aspect of your private life. But I also think that they didn’t do it maliciously, they just didn’t reaslise they were crossing that thin line. You seem like such a darling and caring person, beautiful in and out, and it’s sad to see how people can objectify you like that (like it happened with the hair as well). Many blessing to you and your darling family, thank you for being an inspiration! Hope everyone’s healthy and happy!

  268. Brooke

    Amen! So graceful. Thank you for the reminder of the journey, that we are all learning (I know I have a lot to learn) and that we all need to keep trying to remember these things. Love your blog and the reminder to enjoy each moment which this blog helps me to remember when I get pushed down and bitten by the get up early/kiddos/get to work/dinnertime/bathtime/bedtime/will I ever have me time? rush each day. This is a safe place so thank you for making it that way. Whatever is going on in your life – thank you for sharing or not sharing or whatever you choose to do that it is a safe place for you too. I am sad that someone has made you or anyone feel sad – it’s hard out there. We can all learn from each other. Thanks Naomi. Blessings.

  269. kate

    perfectly said. i’ve struggled with infertility for 10 yrs and a recent second failed attempt at in-vitro is the heartbreaking conclusion to our family. luckily we have 2 beautiful children we were blessed to adopt. but my heart still breaks. and breaks. and unfortunately weaving through others comments about whatever pricks at the moment is part of the journey. sorry to hear about what you’ve recently experienced, both with peoples assumptions, and whatever heartbreak you’ve had otherwise. keep your chin up :)

  270. Heather

    I just wanted to say how well written this was, and how sadly true it is that so many women choose to tear each other down rather than build one another up. Also, just because you have a blog doesn’t mean you deserve to keep some things private. Why is it that some people get so caught up in a stranger’s life that they feel it’s their right to know everything? Unfortunately social media has made people feel that they don’t need to take any responsibility for what they say and that they shouldn’t have to care how it might affect the person they’re talking about.

  271. Someone asked me if I was pregnant the other day and honestly I just wanted to break down into tears because 1. I am not pregnant and 2. I feel like I have worked hard to get my body back into shape after my first baby who is only 11 months old.

    I guess winter was really delicious for me too.

    Thank you for your honest words.

  272. Emily

    YEESH girl, I don’t know how you do it. People are just crazy sometimes. I, like so many others, love seeing you and your family. You’re just the cutest thing ever and those babies?! fuhgettaboutit- they’re adorable. haters gonna hate. So you keep doing your thing and pay no mind to them.

  273. marcy

    Hello Taza.I suppose blogging about your life FOR PROFIT can be a grey area.I mean on one hand you’ve reaped the rewards financially and received plenty of freebies over the years.Not to mention you get to stay home with your kids.My point is this.As one of your regular readers I respect your right to privacy.So many things can go wrong with pregnancies.Which is why if I suspect someone is pregnant I give them privacy and respect to share the news when they see fit.My apologies if this is a sensitive and emotional time for you.From reading your post I would say it clearly is.Perhaps this is a good time to take your blog in a different direction.Ask yourself is the invasion into your personal life worth the perks and rewards.Remember that the next time you thank your readers for supporting the sponsors that support your family.

  274. Helen

    CONNIE… I cannot even believe you just posted that comment after a post like this. It’s unfair for Naomi for me to post this and start a “fight” with you. But seriously, have some respect. Irregardless of what kind of blog this is, it’s HER blog, and she is free to share what she wants and not what you want to read about. Ridiculous.

  275. Leith

    Thank you for this! While searching for a recipe I once saw on a blog, I came across GOMI. A snarky site if there ever was one. And it just makes me feel so sad, that other people seem to thrive off of speculation, judgment and hate. Or feel entitled to know every detail of someone else’s life. You share what you choose to share and I’m so grateful, because your blog inspired me to write my own blog. But I for one am glad you don’t share too much. Mystery is half the fun, and you don’t owe us anything :) Cheers to you! – Leith
    http://www.thesanfranciscan.co/

  276. Alicia

    Wow girl my heart goes out to you. I had the opposite problem, I was pregnant with twins and saw people shy away from asking if I was pregnant. That made me feel like they couldn’t tell if I was just fat.

    I’m glad you opened up about your hurt feelings at church.
    And I think you shouldn’t feel at all guilty keeping pregnancy, or anything related to yourself. Its not weak at all. It shows discernment. Your vulnerability in this post showed bravery.

  277. Lauren

    I am still amazed at how many people have not figured out how impolite it is to comment on whether or not a woman is pregnant before she announces it. I’m always so relieved to see posts like this and hope that it will help spread the word to people who comment so carelessly. I had someone years ago who asked me if I was pregnant (which I was not) and unfortunately it really bothered me for months. Amazing the harm that a thoughtless remark can cause. You look awesome. I have never suspected you of being pregnant and I wish you the best in growing your adorable family!

  278. Jo

    There’s a weird blogger fanverse thing where some people like the idea of figuring it out FIRST, or commenting FIRST, or whatever thing that makes them feel more in the know/connected/special. Sherry Petersik posted something quite similar on their blog a while ago. You look as beautiful as ever and people are just silly. It’s never appropriate to call someone out on their “pregnancy.”

  279. Jessica

    I really appreciated reading this today. I’m four months pregnant with my first baby and I have found that some women want to share their horror stories with me, from how painful labor is to how long it took for them to heal afterwards. Sometimes they want to share a friend’s story. I find this appalling especially when it’s delivered in a way they think they are helping me or giving good advice. I’ve cried because of it. Regardless of whether someone means well, I think this like your experience with people asking you if you’re pregnant lacks tact. You really have to learn to block it out and that’s not always easy. :/

  280. Jenny

    You go, giiiirrrlll!

  281. Susan

    listen sister, you live a bloggers life, You have grown you blog from nothing to one of the top mommy blogs out there, so therefore you shouldn’t be offended when someone thinks they know you and speculates on your life. You and your hubby have decided to share your life with the world, Of course if you look like you have a baby bump then your audience of thousands will think so too. I think it’s fair that most of us have been waiting for you to up and tell us that you are pregnant. It’s the life you decided to live so therefore if you don’t want the world up in your business then don’t blog anymore. sheesh.

  282. Just wanted to say well done for letting other people’s ill-judged comments wash over you and for moving on. I am a mother of two and have certainly been made to feel self-conscious about my body at times since I had my babies. The other day a woman I vaguely knew at the post office asked if I was expecting again and I felt embarrassed saying no, but maybe I was probably still carrying baby weight (my youngest is 22 months old). I am neither fat nor thin, but yes I have a bit of a tummy since giving birth to two babies who were over 9 lbs each. I wish there was not this obsession for women to snap back to their pre-pregnancy shape, or to immediately work towards losing any weight they might have gained during pregnancy for the sake of pretending that pregnancy or birth hasn’t affected or changed their bodies. Women should be supportive of each other, not trying to trip each other up.

  283. GKA

    I’ve only recently discovered your blog. I liked it. Now I love it. You motivate me to be a better person.

  284. kaitlynn

    you are BEAUTIFUL and strong

  285. tina

    Taza, ur so brave and respect you more than ever. It’s really ashame that ppl use this nedium to pull ppl down. Everyone here loves u and that’s why we come to this space bc ur such an incredible person and bring beauty in everything. I hope you can get some rest despite all the unnecessary harshness you had to go through!

  286. Rosanna Brown

    Great post! Some people have a hard time respecting boundaries. A thought that always help is knowing that people usually mean well. i got those comments for a while but I learned to brush them off by remembering how bless and happy I was with my life. You are an inspiration to many and I hope people learn to respect your privacy!

  287. Heather

    Preach. I’m with you.

  288. Kirsty

    Hi Naomi,
    As a ‘new first time’ mother who had a miscarriage followed by the stillborn of our first daughter, I can completely relate to the pain of speculation and inappropriate comments on fertility. When I had the miscarriage so many people told me I should feel lucky that I knew I could get pregnant. I didn’t feel that way at all.
    When my daughter died at 33 weeks, I was told that I’d have another one and it would all be ok. I am blessed to have my own little 10 week E but oh my goodness I absolutely still ache for my angel.
    It’s sad that fertility is such a public subject and people feel that they have a right to know your plans and comment on your feelings. I’m truly sorry that you have been made to feel sad by someone else’s thoughtlessness.
    I wish you love and light in your choices and wanted to let you know I admire your family and love to read your posts so much I have your blog up constantly on my phone and refresh every morning ( umm..I promise I’m not an obsessive!). How blessed you all are to have each other xxx

  289. haley

    first of all, you’re so dang classy.

    second of all, thank you.

    i have a really hard time knowing boundaries with things people say, because i try to believe they’re coming from a good place, but often feel alienated by the comments and judgments that are so quick, and so biting.
    just last night, after a week of tension and heartache with my boyfriend who lives way too far away, two friends i haven’t seen for months asked “when will you guys have kids?!” i was stunned.
    and i am not even sure i want kids, much less am ready to share my feelings on the subject. and i sat there feeling sick. i almost lost my relationship this week, and now they want to talk about kids? i’m still reeling with stress. ack. i’ve just felt awful.

    because of this post i realized i can let it go, but also that i don’t need to punish myself for being angry and stressed out by the comments i heard last night. you’ve made me feel like my internal response was totally warranted.
    thank you for the reminder that it’s okay to get frustrated and to stay private and to feel that i have a right to my privacy, to a little opacity in my life.
    you’re an amazing human being, and a truly wonderful woman. thank you for the reminder that we all have truth inside that isn’t for everyone. and that we shouldn’t feel bullied into sharing.

  290. Sara Vee

    I thought of this http://iwastesomuchtime.com/on/?i=44587 with which I agree. I am currently very pregnant and not online about it because I do not want to hear about how I look. Big, good, really two more months??! Yes. I am how I am. I had a beautiful, healthy boy the first time and this time I am hoping for another healthy child. Am I a skinny perfect photo worthy preggo? Nope. I am me. Pregnant. Thank you for this blog. I think you are amazing. Winter is getting closer to over. You can do it!

  291. Brooke

    I’m not normally one to comment but I really want to add my praise along with everyone else’s here; I 100% wholeheartedly agree with everything you have written, bravo!

  292. N. davis

    You’re an amazing example. Thank you for this post and Thank you for your constant example of motherhood. You inspire me, as a mother, to try new things with my children and to be brave. This post was just that, brave. Continue to be just that.

  293. Carol

    Your post just reminded me to make a note on my calendar to talk to my children later (when the time is right) about certain topics to be more careful about when speaking to others.

    When I was 19, I worked as a summer intern at a laboratory. The office secretary was a larger woman, and after being absent for a week or two, she came back with photos of her newborn baby. The first thing that popped out of my mouth was, “Oh, I had no idea you were pregnant!” What an awful thing to say. I was 19, and hadn’t learned to develop a filter between my brain and my mouth. I felt just terrible and ashamed of myself after the realization of what I’d done dawned on me. I talked to other trusted and more socially experienced adults about it, and that’s when I learned that pregnancy and physical appearance are two subjects to be more sensitive and careful about. [My own parents didn't give me so much counseling on these things. I can't really say why. They just didn't. They were poor struggling immigrants, and I'm not sure if maybe that was part of it. We did grow up very much isolated from the community around us though, as we were so 'different' from everyone else around us.]

    Anyways, you cannot imagine how terribly I felt. I went back and apologized to the secretary. She already knew me well, knew my character, and she was a very gentle and kind woman, so she graciously accepted my apology. Over the years, I’ve learned much about so many things, sometimes by trying to be thoughtful, and other times by making regretful mistakes.

    I thought your post was very well written — you made your point, yet you were gracious about it. In contrast, I find a lot of the “comments” to be very ungracious, harsh and judgmental. We all make mistakes, and the majority of us are more than willing to learn from those mistakes, and make amends for those mistakes. Furthermore, people tend to absorb teachings/corrections more deeply when they are meted with love and caring, not with contempt and scorn. You were gracious, and it is regretful to see so many others so quickly jump on their high horses after you set such a good example.

    [For the record, I was not one of those speculating anything about you. I read your blog simply because it's like a little window of sunshine in the day. I read it just to enjoy the moment, and when I'm done reading and entry, I'm done and move on.]

  294. Erin

    I don’t know – I can really see both sides of this. I am not a mother, nor have I been pregnant but I know what it feels like to have people feel entitled to know about my personal life (35 and single…sheesh), making unfair assumptions and saying hurtful things. It royally stinks and I get really angry sometimes at having to defend or explain myself so often when it is something that is sometimes so painful to deal with personally in my head. I want people to know that I am enough, but all they can see is that my life is empty because I haven’t found the right person or had kids yet. It’s hard to be happy when people keep telling me how miserable my life is because I am not settled down yet. I am a teacher, so throw in the comments of hundreds of students, in addition to family and people at church, and you get the picture. So i can sort of relate.

    On the other hand, I can see where your fans and acquaintances might jump to conclusions, however unintentional they may have been on your end. When you share pictures of yourself kissing your husband, him napping with your children, of yourself in your grubbies (or at least your version of them ;) ) while joking about how you haven’t washed your hair in a few days, anniversaries and special dates, knowing fully that you have literally thousands of people checking in, you have invited them into private moments of your life. Because of the nature of your site, you COUNT on them checking in. Then posting teasers about having a surprise to share soon…

    It isn’t fair and it isn’t anyone’s business to assume. You’re right. But being this hurt when you put out teasers hoping to pique your readers interest and they just interpreted it wrong is also unfair. Based on this post, you can guarantee that there is new speculation now as to why this has bothered you so much. All you needed to say is (if speculation is what you don’t want), “I am not pregnant. Please don’t spread rumors.” Adding in a “Mind your own business” would have been a nice touch too.

    You continued on with a heartfelt and beautiful explanation that so many appreciate. I applaud you for that. You got down and personal. But you should also understand by now that the more personal you get, the more strangers feel entitled to your life. You unfortunately set a boundary that is unclear to the people who read your blog who have little else to do but get all up in your space.This is a great change to reevaluate though and change that boundary.

  295. Rosie

    Thank you Naomi for writing this.. I’ve been married for 6 years, and the whole time people are asking me ‘so when are you having babies?’ We have been trying for 5 years! it’s so stressful, I just wish some women were more sensitive. You have a lovely family and I do love following your journey. Chin up lady x

  296. Dainora

    this the first time i comment on your blog since we both were pregnant (you with Eleanor and I with my baby). I really like your blog, yours life stories in pictures and words. everything is so bright and full of joy. when i have bad days i come to see whats up so good at your family is going… :) everything seems just perfect about your family. but with this post and these genuine words you seemed to me like a REAL lady not the perfect picture any more. i completely agree with all you have said… and want to say, i like you now even more :) Wish you all the best. (Sorry for my broken english :) )

  297. Sophie

    I think people get a tad gutsy when behind a computer screen. You look beautiful babes; no bigger or smaller than usual and your usual is gorgeous. Thank you for sharing. X

    Sophie x

    http://your-girl-is-lovely.blogspot.co.uk

  298. mandee

    I don’t think the rumors were because you were gaining weight, you’re super tiny. I think they were because you seemed to wear looser fitting shirts that look like they *might* be hiding a bump. still totally tactless for people to just jump to that conclusion. anyway, you are beautiful and i totally look up to you, even though you are younger than me haha. waaay more mature, though.

  299. ricci

    take it easy, naomi. nobody really knows how someone comes up with the idea that you are pregnant again. on every pic you post you look great and in the best shape of your life :)
    but believe me, I really can relate to the (insulting) comments people utter sometimes – I am 32 and no husband or children far and wide…that seems to attract silly requests magically :/
    just enjoy the time with your beloved ones and answer those unpopular questions with a smugly smile ;)
    all the best for the 4 of you and thanks a lot for sharing your life, thoughts and moments (your words & pictures really help me to get over the dog days)! dearest greetings from frankfurt / germany

  300. Mitali

    Oh thank you thank you thank you for this post. I get asked if I am pregnant sometimes too. Haven´t lost the babyweight from three years ago which sucks and my belly looks pregnant sometimes. But I struggle with this enough as it is…when people ask if I am pregnant I just want to hide somewhere and never come out ever again.

  301. Resi

    Happy Spring Naomi! And cheers for honest posts on private issues. Thanks for sharing whatever you share – no need to feel pressured. Keep private what you want. Stay true to yourself :) the rest is just a little extra which we get to enjoy too. Cheers!

  302. Kristin

    As a newer mom – I have found that life becomes so much more challenging and I don’t know if this goes for all- but I became so much more sensitive. Life as a mom is tough. It is beautiful and wonderful and exhausted and demanding . And then you have the opinions of others constantly thrown at you. I too had a horrible Sunday full of stupid tears after family publicly made fun of a parenting choice I had made. All I can say is, when you feel this hurt and moved negatively , it is important to stand up for yourself and am glad to see you have done so. Otherwise , these feelings of inadequacy etc just build and build and it can be a dark way to live . So . I hope from this post you get some relief . Some weight off your back. And feel good about going forward . You know you are a good mom. Don’t forget it and don’t let anyone make you question it. People can be atrocious! Spring is officially next week…. Aka – warmer days and sunshine ahead to look forward to! Xo

  303. Megan

    I feel like there must be more to this story then you’ve divulged. Maybe the tone of the folks is different than I’m imagining? It just sounds to me like people were trying to be supportive. I really don’t understand why it’s so insensitive and wrong for someone to ask if you’re wanting to have more children. Ok maybe there’s some rumor you are and the person is wrong. I feel like most people would just be trying to be nice by congratulating you or asking you questions. What if you were pregnant and they congratulated you or asked you questions to show a sincere interest? Would that bother you? I’m sorry I just don’t think you’re being fair about this.

  304. Emily

    Hi, First time to comment. It seems simple, if you don’t want people interested in your private life, then don’t spend so much time and energy promoting your private life. You know?? You obviously put your family and kids on display purposely, for the public to see. You spend lots of time publicizing your personal life, yet you cuss people out when they feel part of your personal life?? If you don’t like it, stop blogging/instagraming to the whole world. It’s not rocket science.

  305. Natasha

    Not shure if you”re gonna read this at all, but i feel like writinig it anyways ;)

    I”ve read this article of yours twice now and just loved avery line of it. It”s so sincere and genuine, that”s why it is so touching.
    I”m a brazilian girl (yes, you”ve got some readers here) who has a completely differente life and ambitious from yours, and yet I”ve been reading this blog for about four years now and in some way I identify myself in here. You know why? Because of posts like this!

    I don”t know if you”re aware of that, but you and your familly are inspiring! Not only because of the beautiful pictures, neither the life in NYC, nor the perfect babies you have. It”s because you don”t even try to hide the fact that everyday life is a struggle, but most of all, it is still beautiful and worth the bad moments and unsureness and fails. That” why I keep visiting this blog. So I can remember this when I”m really down.

    Keep doing what you”ve been doing so far. You are inspinring! And in your way, you are making this world a better one.

    Kisses from Brazil!

    (PS: You should come down here next winter, since it will be summer here)

  306. Bonny

    I’ve been reading your blog for several years now, and it has always struck me that your blog although it may seem personal it isn’t the exclusive rights to your private life. There are definite things you keep private, which in my opinion is actually a lot. You and Josh do make beautiful babies, and Eleanor and Samson have stolen our hearts. You are adorable Naomi, and after reading some of the, “I have a right to defend myself and just be rude.” comments on here, just know they’re feeling guilty for crossing the line. Have a great day, and by the way aren’t you excited for spring and flowers and trees in bloom. I know I certainly am.

  307. LIZZIE

    Can I get an AMEN from the church?! Preach girl. I totally know where you’re coming from. Lift one another up, don’t push and pressure them down. You are simply lovely!

  308. Maureen

    So proud of you.
    Don’t listen to anyone else except yourself. You know exactly what to do and say. :)

  309. Whitney

    This was a breath of fresh air. :-) Thanks for posting.

  310. Donna

    Naomi,

    you are an amazing soul. you are beautiful. you are strong. that is all you need to know. you inspire people everyday by the amazing mother, wife and lady you are. I have followed this blog for years, not because of what you wear, or what you believe, or anything specific, but because you are you, such a great person that brings light to this world!

    much love,

    Donna

  311. Mallory

    I agree about the prying and you don’t deserve to be hurt or for people to be insensitive about your privacy. The woman, who was an acquaintance should have known better than to ask you and that was pretty rude. That said, you clearly desired some level of exposure–not saying the randos on the web are correct in saying “i’m pretty sure you’re pregnant and just not telling us” but also this IS the internet after all–your work is based on the internet and followers and without people caring about your life and your family and your own personal affairs, I’m not sure you’d have much of a following. In most cases, this is great because it gives you a community and a second family, but just like a family, there is going to be times when you feel like someone isn’t sensitive–again not saying these people have the right to know or question, but you must know that some level of this job is not going to be perfect–as is true with all jobs. I’ve also seen a few of the comments you mention and while sure they are inappropriate and showed a lack of sensitivity but I’m not sure anyone was trying to tear you down or even imply that you’ve put on five lbs. Part of me wants to say, “ugh I’m sorry people can make mistakes and be rude and that’s annoying” but also part of me wants to say “pick your head up, everyone’s job has a downside–don’t let this get to you so much.” Anyway, not trying to start anything controversial just wanted to give a different perspective.

  312. C

    Amen! Thanks for this post.

  313. Admittedly, with your previous post I had the thought “oh, maybe pregnant” after you said you had been feeling crumby and that you went to dinner as you had some things to celebrate. But then shortly thereafter I had the thought “Or, maybe was just sick and also had some things to celebrate.” Either way, none of my business. And not really a huge impact on my life. So, you know, either way all good. I read your blog because you take lovely photos and focus on the things I think are important in life. So keep up the good work. I think this post was a good reminder that we give each other our breathing space and take things at face value.

  314. Brooke

    I’m really just confused. Sometimes I look at you in the pictures you post and don’t understand how you’re so tiny. Not in a bad way, you look like a healthy woman who takes good care of herself and has a very svelte figure. But…..pregnant? I just don’t get that!!! If you said you WERE pregnant I’d have a hard time believing it.

  315. yoreney

    i remember seeing one of the comments in your instagram (the “are you pregnant” comment), the one where you were in a long coat, and i remember thinking : 1. i can’t even see your belly with that coat on, let alone a baby bump, if there was any. 2. you don’t look like you have a belly in other pictures (not even a “2 burgers large fries and some dessert” kind of bump.) so i was wondering what the fuss is all about.

    i gained close to 70lbs when i was pregnant with my 2nd and almost 2 years later still has 20lbs to lose. i’ve had a number of people asking me when i’m “due”. it does hurt especially knowing i work hard to lose the pounds. some people mean well, some are just plain ignorant to these things. please know that with belly bump or not, you look GORGEOUS! and most importantly healthy (all those walking and pushing a double stroller must’ve helped a lot ;))

    also, people, please remember that although this is a life blog (and the blogger choses to share her life with you), real life etiquettes still applied. and please bear in mind that although you may “feel” like you know naomi in real life but in reality, you don’t. you only saw the “edited” part of it.

  316. Michelle

    Seriously, it’s one of those things if you don’t hear it from the horses mouth don’t say anything!! Aside from that, I’ve never seen any pic of you and thought you look pregnant at all so please don’t feel bad about yourself because you really don’t look pregnant.

  317. Liz

    Thanks for this post and for all that you do share on your blog. So many people think that you and your little family are wonderful and inspiring. Sending love and good thoughts your way!

  318. Suze

    I AM 35 weeks pregnant with my second baby and all people seem to ask is “how much weight have you gained?” and “are you going to have more?” I’m sure people are well meaning, but you’re right and I totally agree with you – some questions just aren’t for saying. Anyway, well said post. I’m sure it was somewhat difficult for you to write and I’m sure some people will be offended but oh well. Way to be a great momma!

  319. Emma

    I couldn’t agree with you more! I am tired of people feeling as if a woman’s fertility/infertility/pregnancy etc is somehow open for public discussion.
    As someone who is pregnant right now and only recently shared the news at 18weeks, I was gobsmacked by how many times I had to evade the questions and roaming eyes. I even had people upset that I hadn’t shared earlier!
    As someone who experienced multiple miscarriages and troubles falling pregnant I wish more women would be sensitive to others and their right to privacy. This topic really gets me going!!
    Thanks for writing about it.

  320. You’re such an inspiration, Naomi,

    I started my blog almost two years ago and an aspect of this has been something that I’ve struggled with and continue to struggle with. People always ask why I don’t post about certain things and end their statement with, “your whole life is out there, it shouldn’t even be a big deal for you!’ But there are so many aspects of my life that are private and I want them to remain that way, but so many people have trouble understanding that.

    So thank you for this beautiful post. You are beautiful and all of your struggles and private matters are meant to be exactly that: private, unless you decide otherwise.

    Sending positive energy and vibes your way! <3

  321. Emily

    I commented earlier and it came across very rude. I’m sorry. I could have stated my point with kindness. Have a great day!

  322. mw

    I cannot imagine someone thinking you LOOK pregnant. Woman, you’ve got a fab bod. I’m sure the tears had more to do with wishing you were pregnant rather than looking like you might be pregnant, but either way you’ve got a lot of ladies on your side; take comfort in that.

  323. Lynette

    This post, this post was brave.
    Good for you.

  324. Elle

    This is exactly what i needed to hear. Thank you for being so brave & expressing what I have always needed the courage to say. :)

  325. Kristin

    I love everything about this post. Thanks for sharing.

  326. Robin

    Sending lots of warm vibes your way :) Thanks for this post.

  327. Paulina

    I think people often just don’t understand the way you write about your life. I love your blog because you wrtite about things as they are today not how they will be tomorrow. I love that. But some people need to be ensured about another great day that you are gonna have in your life tomorrow and it’s not how life works right? We never know… Best wishes to you and your family :)

  328. amy

    I love this!! I think people forget sometimes that sometimes we don’t want to share, and that’s okay. Especially on topics that may be a bit touchy for some.
    I love this post Naomi!!

  329. Alex

    Oh, I’ve sooooo been there. I feel every single word of yours. Just breathe deeply, look at your wonderful kids and enjoy your family. Thanks for sharing!

  330. Holland

    You are so inspiring. Just know that your story, some parts private and some public, is powerful. You are so very brave. Thank you.

  331. Thays

    I wish you have the strength to go through “debate” about you having the right for privacy or not. It’s ridiculous! You are indeed very brave to establish a line for what you feel comfortable sharing, and I admire you for thaht

  332. Such an important point to make. I was recently surprised to see many instagramers asking Kendi from Kendi Everyday if she were pregnant. I was mortified for her as I knew it was probably just the past few tops she’d chosen to wear that were loose. As someone who has chosen not to have kids it is so tiring to be asked over and over…no one seems to like my answer and I want to say The why did you ask!?

  333. jen

    fantastic post Naomi! I too can be a somewhat private person when it comes to certain areas of my life and it’s hard when people make assumptions. we never truly know what someone may be going through! xo

  334. This is was so wonderful. I really appreciate you sharing. I know many can relate, including myself.

    Keep up. You are in my prayers, and I have much respect for you.

    Victoria @ http://www.thesoutherntrunk.com

  335. My ex-stepmom once had a woman at church say that she was glowing and pregnant. There were several things wrong with this–(1) it was just too crass to say to someone without any reason (2) she was a bit overweight and sensitive to it (3) my dad got the snippity-snip so that was irrelevant. It really irked her and it made the woman look like an insensitive jerk (it didn’t help she has a bit of a loud personality, anyway). Some people just love to speculate about weight or mention it when they notice it. Through my own body image issues, I’ve learned to not say anything about someone else’s weight, because it’s rude and it doesn’t help that person. When I lost a bunch of weight, people were so happy for me. But they forget I did that for me, not them. And the way they were raving made that little anxious bird in the back of my mind sound off the “was I not good enough before?” alarm. Which is silly, and they’re only trying to congratulate you, but weight is just such a tricky thing because of how much it’s connected to confidence. And when it comes to children, miscarriages, etc., you’re absolutely right… You never know what’s going on with someone fertility-wise or if they’re in the process of trying or if they’re scared of getting pregnant at all. Don’t worry them with their comments.

    At the end of the day, we all just need to live our lives and worry less about others’. When something good or bad happens, trust that if you matter, you’ll hear about it. Until then, don’t speculate, assume or gossip.

  336. Dianna

    5 year fan | first time commenting

    High five, Naomi! Beautifully put. Thanks for reminding us all to be kinder and more considerate. I hope, if anything, most readers will take that message from this incredibly brave post you’ve written, rather than focusing on the simplicity of the pregnancy question itself. Not that that wasn’t rude and hurtful (because I know it is), but it’s about privacy and etiquette and boundaries and respecting that regardless of your high blogger status. And, of course, being more sensitive in our interactions with one another in general. Good on you for sticking up for yourself!

    I imagine it must be difficult to be in your shoes at times; with the struggle and torment you may feel in things you share, and possible backlash after being so vulnerable. Whatever you do, don’t get hung up on the very few comments here challenging your message or trying to invalidate your standpoint simply because you choose to share your personal life via that lovely blog of yours. Just know, the reason you have such a tremendous following is because you are one amazing person! A terrific mother, a talented blogger and you’ve got such a positive way of sharing while still keeping it real. The outpour of supporting comments is a true testament to just how awesome you are! Big hugs!!!

  337. Holly

    Thank you for being the voice for so many women on this topic! I am a single female, and the whole when-are-you-going-to-get-married, -what-about-kids, are-you-going-to-be-single-your-whole life thing comes way too often & gets old after awhile.
    I admire your ability to speak so eloquently about this topic. As women, we need to support each other in our personal decisions on the path we each choose to take and not invade in others’ business about these things!

  338. Olivia

    I have followed your Instagram and blog for a bit now and enjoyed your adventures and young family. Blogging is a tough gig as you essentially have to sell yourself and family (personal choice) to an audience in order to garner both a following and ad revenue.
    Unlike many celebrities, you made a conscious choice to capitalize on selling your persona as well as your family. Eventually it leads to unwanted and unwelcomed attention as you have recently experienced.
    It would appear you are at a critical juncture in your young life.
    As captivating as the positive validations are, it is you who must determine your self worth. Perhaps it’s time to move forward, be grateful for what you had and focus on getting you and your family out of the spotlight. Perhaps then, you will have the peace you so very deservedly need.
    Namaste

  339. Allie

    Thank you for sharing. It seems everyone in my life is pregnant right now – old and new friends, family, and even several bloggers I follow. Some handle it gracefully and some completely inundate social media on a daily basis with every single detail. I struggle with feeling genuine joy for most because I want it so badly for myself (but spouses aren’t always in the same place sadly). I am so tired of being asked about it from everyone, even complete strangers and appreciate you shedding light on this and encouraging more sensitivity.

    I hope over the next few weeks more people can just focus on your sweet family and be respectful of your privacy. Sending loving thoughts and air hugs from down south!

  340. Julie B

    I’m not sure if you read through all these comments, but I just have to say that a think you are well within your rights to feel exactly as you do. As someone who’s personally suffered a miscarriage, and with many friends who have had infertility difficulties, I am so aware of how these questions can be received, even when people don’t mean it maliciously–it’s still hurtful. I’m sure putting your life out there in such a public way encourages people to ask questions they wouldn’t normally feel they have to write two, which must be very difficult. I think it is so wonderful and brave that you do what you do on a daily basis. I love coming to your blog so much and I have my own little Eleanor and love comparing their journeys.

  341. Janna

    I love you so! I’m a big girl…I gained a bunch of weight after a severe spine injury. I’m very fit and spine is strong enough to work on it but losing weight is a slow process. Because of this spine issue I can’t have children. This makes it especially painful when people ask if I’m pregnant. I feel stupid and upset and after I say “nope, just fat….can’t have babies bad spine=tubal ligation”, they feel stupid and upset too. Why can’t people just be respectful and take cues from others? I think you look spectacular and if you gained weight….I can’t see it. Your body is magical, your children a sparkling stars, and you letting me perk into your life allows me to see motherhood. A view I will never have. Thank you for sharing…your blog means a lot to me. I send you light and love….and I pray for those who accidentally hurt us with their stupidity.

  342. Rose J.

    I was asked the same question a couple of weeks ago, and surprising as it may sound it didn’t bug me. Maybe it’s because I’m 42, and have learned to not let things get to me. It doesn’t help having had two c-sections which resulted in a muffin top, and I can see why this certain question was asked…plus she asked me only because she knew that I had been trying for another baby, but that was two years ago.

    Anyway…try not to let certain comments consume you, in time you’ll learn to let things go, but I’m sure it’s hard with the tons of followers you have following your every move!

    Take care, and thanks for your post. I’m sure it will help many young women out there who have personal issues as to why they aren’t pregnant!

    xo

  343. Livi

    It’s awesome that you shared this! It’s totally your prerogative to decide which details you keep/share in your life, and everyone needs to be respectful of that! Just because you’re awesome enough to have a blog, its not everyone’s business to know everything about you!

  344. Kristie

    so proud of you for speaking out about this. some “people” at church are so insensitive. i too, had fertility issues and WOW, people got in my business WAY too much. your site is a breath of fresh air. your family is darling!

  345. Maggie

    Uh what the heck?? You are one sexayyy mama! If you are pregnant, then I am about ready to pop… and I’m not even pregnant. Plus, you do what you want and feel is best. People are cray sometimes and feel like they can tell you what you should be doing. I get that all the time. You go girl!

  346. Anna

    We lost our first son a few years ago, and agonizingly, were unable to get pregnant again for some time. we were left childless. Oh the questions we endured! Are you pregnant, or worse, aren’t you pregnant? And worse and worse and worse. I couldn’t bear to repeat them. I know it is easy to make careless comments, but Hopefully this post has made all its readers think twice about pregnancy remarks and will save someone the grief of an unwelcome question.. You cannot possibly know who has endured what.

    Happily, our home is now full of the most beautiful toddler banter, and another sweet addition is on her way. Can’t wait.

  347. Jacquie

    What a sweet message. The past few years I saw my engagement, marriage, every detail of my life, to now my first pregnancy — AND I’m not on facebook/social media — somehow be known by “everyone” before I could announce it to more than one or two people. I actually saw a gmail chat occur between someone who I would consider a colleague share my special news the moment I told her (or rather, she saw the ring on my finger) and it was one of the weirdest infringements on my own sense of control I’ve ever experienced. I never know how to stand up to this.
    I really appreciate how you expressed this issue as one of respect, and building each other up. It seems those in healthcare fields are so much better about this, because their jobs require a respect for privacy and confidentiality, I’ve noticed. But it is perhaps a sensibility that has become lost in the modern info-share that is social media, unfortunately.

  348. Kathryn

    You could be talking to someone who’s completely broken and not even realize it. <3

  349. Heather

    I have loved your blog for years, Naomi and I think you’re a great, strong woman!

  350. Naomi, I am sure since I am comment 3 bagillion it won’t be read but just in case and just in case the previous three bagillion didn’t do it for you I just have to say I am so very glad you hold some things private. Your life is YOURS what you choose to share is lucky for us and we enjoy it but I feel like in order to keep it special some things should be held close. My friend Rubi just had her home shared in a magazine. She said in the end it was a horrible experience and she almost didn’t want to live in her home any more. Now her private special spaces were splashed across a magazine and people were contacting her trying to find out where to get all her decor, special pieces she had slowly procured. Your life and blog is much the same. I am sure you are emailed and asked constantly where samson got socks or E got shoes or you got a hat. While copying is flattering it can also be wearing. And don’t even get me started on the looking pregnant thing. After briefly meeting you in Paris and following the blog all I kept thinking was man this girl has a rockin metabolism! Keep on doing exactly what you are doing and more of what makes you happy!

  351. Cat

    Yup. And honestly, thank you. Well-meaning questions can lead to tears in very short order on this topic. i found myself responding to my husband’s well-meaning aunt’s question, “When are you having another?!” over the holidays with “well, I just had a miscarriage so I don’t know” and realizing I needed to be better with this topic too. How about just “your toddler is precious” and don’t ask when/if/why we’ll have more. But I have asked similar questions in the past and wonder who I’ve hurt. We all need to give each other a little space on this topic. And trust us – you’ll know when you know. So don’t ask about a potential baby just ask how we’re doing. I too love being a mother and wife but I am more than that, and asking how I am is ok too:)

    Thanks so much for sharing. It kinda made my day.

  352. Marlene

    It’s such a coincidence you wrote this post at the time you did. I went through three pregnancies and gained 60 lbs with my first one. I went from 95 lbs to 155 lbs when I delivered my son. I thought I would be like my mom and sis and shrink back to a size 2 at 3 months after delivering and not get any stretch marks…I was highly mistaken. I would lose all my weight after each pregnancy but could never lose my lower pouch. I was so self conscience of it and on so many occasions had people ask me is I was pregnant. I debated for years if I should get a tummy tuck to remove the pouch and the stretch marks, it bothered me that much! It didn’t bother my husband at all, only me. I know how hurtful it feels when someone comments your physical appearance. It also bothered me that I let it get to me. That I let my vanity affect how I felt about myself but let’s face it, we live in a society where being thin and beautiful does make a difference in how we feel about ourselves, at least to some extent. I did decide to go through with the tummy tuck and just had it this past Friday. I felt ready finally. I felt that I was at a point where if I didn’t get it I still felt beautiful inside and out.

  353. kristy manton

    I am comment number 359 on this post and we are all ‘Team Taza!’

  354. Heather

    I hear you. I’ve struggled with infertility as well, and everyone thinks it’s their business. The worst is when they give advice, as if I HADN’T thought of trying to “relax” or “take vitamins”!! Thanks for sharing your heart.

  355. Freckles

    Heck I got asked this the other day for pinning maternity inspiration on a board in Pinterest if I was pregnant. Would I like to have a child? Yes. Is it the right time for a child? No. My friend was so relieved. What would happen if I was pregnant, would she disown me as a friend? I went through a rough time with my fiancé last spring and gained about 20 lbs within a short period of time and got asked questions then. One side of my family feels the need to tell everyone’s little secrets even if you ask them not to tell. Reason? Because we are family and they have a right to know. I like having privacy too at least within the realm with our small and broken family. I have gone through a lot over the past couple of weeks and what I don’t want is EVERYONE knowing. They send you “oh I’m so sorry”and “we are here for you” but no one understands it better than you and other people need to realize that. I have been following your blog since a little after E was born and I absolutely love these deep posts because it makes me feel like that I am not the only person going through something and feels the same way. Thank You :)

  356. Brianne

    Thank you.

  357. Ady

    You are amazing, Naomi. <3

  358. Lindsay

    Love this Naomi! It’s amazing how much hate can come from the internet and you have absolutely every right to feel upset about it.

  359. Natalie

    THIS. is. brave.

    Thank you.

  360. Amy

    Okay, whoa…you rock. I have so much respect for you. What you said was straight forward and meaningful and sweet and so honest. Thank you for your blog, thank you for being selective in what you do and don’t share. No one has a right to know what you choose not to share and everyone should just be in Awe and grateful for what you do share with us –because it’s amazing! I like what the one person commented where they said “some people are doing to love you and some are going to love to hate you”. People will be jealous at your incredible life and some how think by breaking you down with insensitivity that they’ll in turn be better. Just stop people.
    You are gracious, beautiful (inside and out), caring loving mother (Wow!), kind, and just an old soul. That’s why everyone loves you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and heart.
    It is an important reminder to all us women to be ever sensitive about these tender topics. Let us be more kind.
    Thank you Naomi. God Bless you and the beautiful Davis family. :)

  361. Naomi,

    Beautiful.
    Authentic.
    Couldn’t have said it better.

    I have been a long-time reader of your blog (since 2008, I believe?), and like many I’m sure, feel like I have “gotten to know you.” I think if we we lived in the same city, we’d probably be friends. BUT, what people need to understand is that no matter how much they FEEL like they know you, they don’t. And they don’t need to know every detail of your life, or speculate what details the future holds. I am so, so sorry that you have to deal with such nosy, ignorant comments. I hope that by posting this, you have awakened something in people everywhere that will make them realize how inappropriate the “Are you pregnant?” question is.

    Please, PLEASE, please know that so many of your readers respect and support you. I am sorry for whatever it is you are going through, and just know you have every right to feel sad about the yearning you have to be pregnant. Whether it’s miscarriage or infertility or whatever reason, do not feel like you have to explain. Don’t let anyone make you feel that there is some spectrum of sadness for the obstacles that prevent someone from being pregnant.

    Thank you again for this post. You are AMAZING.

  362. Jennifer

    I rarely ever comment on a blog post, but BRAVO and THANK YOU!! I appreciate every word you said and support it all. Women’s bodies are beautiful and amazing in so many ways, and sometimes our society spends too much time analyzing them and objectifying them (oftentimes when the speaker doesn’t even realize it). I hope for my daughter that we get to a point when we notice women’s bodies less, and their abilities and minds and personalities more. All of us have our own personal journeys and that needs to be respected and supported. Thoughtfulness and courteousness are always appreciated and often too scarce.

    Take care and keep writing!

  363. Anna

    Wondering why you do not capitalize your I… Of course it is trendy and all, but are you for real?

  364. Margaret

    “when God sees you doing your part, developing what He has given you, then He will do His part and open doors that no man can shut”

  365. Julia Romero

    You tell them girl ! People truly need to be more mindful of what they say… i am sorry this person was this inappropriate/ insensitive, but I am happy you spoke your mind and got it out of your system !

    Love your blog. Tons of happy thoughts coming your way !

  366. Lauren H.

    Yes, I think everyone would agree it’s pretty forward to ask a woman if she is pregnant point blank or congratulating them unless you have heard from their very own mouth say, “I’m pregnant.” Plain and simple. But, at the same time, as an author of a lifestyle blog that you have chosen to be very public with, also allowing comments from absolutely anyone and everyone on both your blog and Instagram, it’s hard to feel very sorry for you. In fact, I’m trying really hard not to be ticked that you actually felt entitled to whine about it (regardless of whatever private trials you may be going through). Point is, you’re gonna have people asking dumb questions and saying things that are offensive and that you don’t like about your very public life for as long as you choose this lifestyle. It happens to “normal” people so you’d better bet it’s only gonna be worse for someone in the limelight like yourself. It sucks, I’m sure, but that is the price of being a “celebrity,” a status you choose and work really really hard for. You are your very own paparazzi for crying out loud! And you make a damn good living because of all your followers, including the rude and crazy ones. I enjoy reading your blog, but if I am supporting your family by reading, the last thing I want to see is a long reprimanding post because a small handful of people speculated that you were pregnant. The very people who contribute to your living, and who most likely commented with good intent. Wouldn’t a simple reply to the crazy ones, “No, I’m not pregnant.” suffice? Or better yet, ignore it altogether, because you must know – it will only get worse the bigger you become?And while I think the lady in your ward was not the smartest for congratulating you on your non-pregnancy, I genuinely hope she doesn’t read your blog with you publicly calling her out, when I am sure she only had good (ignorant, but still good, I’m sure) intentions. Yikes! So, whats the point of my comment? The point in me writing this is that hopefully, HOPEFULLY, you’ll consider another side to this whole scenario. I know I’m not the only one that feels this way, but it is much harder to say it without your posse attacking in return, which is why I think nobody dares. Good gracious! Off my soapbox now. Good day.

  367. MM

    I think this is because you instagramed saying that you and your husband had things to celebrate. I am not saying people’s reaction is justified, but remember that people love following you and something exciting for you is exciting for them so when you make comments public like that they want to believe that something exciting is happening for you.

    I think this was a great and honest post, but also don’t think it is necessary 100% other people’s fault

  368. hanalei

    You probably have no time to read all these but….

    Agreed. Trying to be a little bit better than I have been, and figuring out how much I feel comfortable sharing online as well. Women are beautiful no matter what struggle or celebration they are going through, thank you for saying so & sharing how you feel!

  369. Carolyn

    Naomi! I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed this post and how I was just nodding all of the way through it. Sometimes I can’t believe the amount of speculation I read online about you and whether or not you’re pregnant. To a reader/writer I can understand how these comments may seem harmless but to the person who is actually being accused, it’s embarrassing, heart breaking almost and it can make you feel so incredibly insecure/vulnerable.

    Thank you for spending the time to write this. It was really well articulated and, ugh I just loved the amount of girl power!

  370. Stephanie Berg

    Just relax!!! And laugh!!!!!

  371. Thank you so much Naomi, for sharing this. Your tenacity is appreciated. My heart goes out to you.

  372. edit goralsky

    But seriously, you should be more upset you lack an age appropriate understanding of English Grammar and the rules regarding capitalization.

    Maybe focus more on improving yourself so you can be a better teacher to your children than worrying about what others think or if the hidden meaning of their questions is that you’ve gained weight.

    Here’s a link you may find useful:
    http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/capital.asp

    And a hint – google “shift” key

  373. susanna

    After being married it soon started… ‘You surely will be having kids soon, won’t you?!’ After the birth of our daughter it continued: ‘Won’t you have a second child?’ Five years later I had a miscarriage which affected me and my husband very, very much. ‘When will you be trying again?’
    I stopped listening to those people, I stopped answering their inappropriate and insensitive questions, I started to ignore those people. And I’m much better and stronger now. :)

  374. i have the most pregnant looking body. permanently. people ask/congratulate me on it ALL the time since i was 19. just nope. i really appreciate this post.

  375. AP

    It’s happened to us all which is why we should all try to be more understanding (on both sides – the person asking “are you pregnant?” and the questioned). The issue here is being secure with yourself and your place in the world- again something we are all working on all the time, We can’t control other people but we do have control over the way we respond. I doubt many of your readers have bad intentions in asking/caring. Nobody’s perfect and let’s all be thankful for what we do have.

  376. Katie

    Sending hugs and love to you!

  377. Mari

    Thank you. I know I’ve cried many times over not being able to get pregnant and thoughtless words just don’t help. I know most mean well and some don’t…but sometimes it can just be too much. Hugs

  378. Lucie

    Whatever you are or aren’t Naomi – you look beautiful as you always do. You see like such a loving Mama to Eleanor and Samson and I love peeking into your life through your blog. But i also fully understand and respect your privacy. You’re being kind enough to share snippets of your life with us. Nobody should demand to know anything that you don’t feel happy to share. Sending hugs for support sweet lady!

  379. Gabriela

    thank you thank you! (o wait, I also did not use CAPS!)

    Same goes for commenting on women who do or don’t breast feed. Chill out people, everyone is trying their best. You never know someone’s story.

  380. Jennifer

    this is beautiful.

  381. Carrie

    Hello Naomi – I have been reading your blog for a few months now and view it as a weekly dose of grace, optimism and joy so thank you! And, thank you again for reminding us all of the importance of empathy when we know someone’s circumstances and sensitivity and discretion when we don’t. As someone who experiences constant judgement (I work outside the home, have a 3-year-old with autism and two stepdaughters who spend weekends and holidays with us so I am well used to being on the receiving end of criticism – some well meant, some not – and speculation), I often wonder why we (as in women) do this to each other and ourselves. Few people’s lives are exactly what they seem and everyone, no matter how “charmed” their existence may seem, has moments of trial and sadness. Thank you for giving us all a gentle reminder to be kind and to try, in those moments before we speak, to apply courtesy, common sense and compassion.

  382. Laura

    There are hundreds of people following you, just because you’re you. You are having people from around the world wanting to collaborate with you just because you are just such a lovely you.

    I’ve been randomly following your blog from the beginning with your cute little engagement tent and think it’s so fun to catch a peek into a charming little family with a lifestyle so different than my own. Thanks for sharing it with us and dealing with all the nastiness that must come with being a blogelebrity (just made that up).

    And p.s. I wish I was pregnant too ;).

  383. Laura

    And oh my gosh. I just read some of the comments above me. Holy mean! Mean mean mean. I don’t know how you do it girlfrand. Kudos to you man. Seriously people.

  384. Niec

    You have NO idea how incredibly relevant and thoughtful and perfect this post was for me (and I’m sure plenty of other women who struggle through a plethora of issues) great post, and thank you!

  385. chelsea

    I don’t comment often but can I just say GOOD GRIEF! If a person at all thinks that you have any kind of “bump” they are out of their damn mind-

    You are gorgeous, not that you need anyone to tell you that.

    This post just really lit a fire under my tail. I hate that you had to go through this garbage. It’s disgusting.

    Your heart swim suit is adorable though! Where’s it from?

  386. Zach

    Hi Naomi.

    I am a nineteen-year-old senior in high school. If you’re reading this you are probably asking why would a teenager be reading your blog. Well, first of all, I found you on Instagram. I absolutely adore your children. Your family is beautiful. To be honest with you, I want my family life to be similar to yours. The adventures you go on as a family are so inspiring. You have a deep passion for what you believe in. I am a Christian, and I believe that the family is just about everything. Everything as in morals, values, love, nurture, care, etc… It’s all just beautiful.

    Naomi, I think you are a beautiful, strong, brave, creative woman. You make one heck of a mother. You love them unconditionally, and it is beautiful. There may be tough times, but your children will always love you, As you have loved them.

    Naomi, you are so right. The speculation needs to stop. It’s inappropriate. However, it won’t stop, unfortunately. You just have to be brave in this world, and that is exactly what you are doing.

    You are being brave for your children and for youself. That is unspeakable beauty. That is why I admire you and your family.

    God bless. From a sensitive teenage boy.

  387. Chelsey

    Oh I love this post! You are an amazing woman, and an incredible mother! Thank you for posting something like this… I have to some small extent been going through this as well lately. Being married for a year and living in Provo pretty much the first thing people ask me is when I’m going to have a baby. When it’s not anyone’s business. Anyhow. Thank you. You are wonderful!!!

  388. michelle

    You are beautiful. 5 lbs, 10 lbs or 50 lbs heavier. Thank you for the inspiration and words of encouragement. You’re great and i love your blog!

  389. Erin

    At the age of 14, I was riding in an elevator, when a woman in a BRIGHT PURPLE two-piece suit asked me when I was due. Her question made me cry after I left the elevator, and I wondered why she would think someone my age was pregnant! Needless to say, I never wore that ill-fitting shirt again.

    You’ve had TWO babies, and have such an enviable personal style and body type! You’re doing amazingly well, and I think people are just so fan-crazy that they want to be up on the newest event before it even happens.

  390. Amanda H.

    girl…by no means do you look…”puffy”! i bet it’s just the way clothes are. i have a dress that makes me look like i’m pregnant when in reality i am not (will never be. all of our children will be coming through adoption). that little “poof” that comes from the material. so maybe that’s what people are seeing? because seriously…i want to have your body! lol i would LOVE to be a dancer and be eloquent like you. so please do not think it’s pounds. it’s not.

    people will ALWAYS be idiots! lol that’s how it will always be. making such idiotic remarks. no one ever learns. just know it’s truly not you. probably just a way a piece of material was.

    it’s like that FRIENDS episode where monica wears that over size shirt and people keep asking if she’s pregnant. by the third person asking she says “no! but i’m throwing this shirt away!” lol that’s where i think these fools are thinking it.

    so no no girl. you are just perfect!

  391. Emily

    “any woman, who goes through any step of pregnancy, birth, miscarriage, infertility, childrearing, you name it, is brave. so brave. whether she shares her full story publicly or holds it quiet for herself or her small circle of loved ones instead.” – YES. Oh thank you for this post. While this is a fun world, blogland, it’s a really weird one too. I love getting to know other bloggers and my readers, but we have to know that no, not all of us share everything… not every part of our lives and who we are is what we write about. ((HUG)) to you!

  392. Samantha

    You are all grace and poise. Bravo sweet lady.

  393. mary p.

    I have been a reader for almost six years now – yours was the first blog I really started reading on a regular basis. I have so much respect for you as a woman, as a wife, as a mother, and as a blogger. you provide so much inspiration for my own life – and as I embark on planning my wedding and hopefully eventual becoming a mother this conversation is one I am expecting and, to be honest, even dreading a little bit.

    I love your honesty. thank you for being such an inspiration!

  394. Hello Naomi,
    I’m not even sure you will read this comment, as there are 400 other comments to get through (and I’ll admit that I almost didn’t bother trying to compete for attention;-))
    I think obviously part of the reason people expect a pregnancy is because you are LDS and most LDS families are HUGE. I have to admit, I only come onto this space sporadically because it’s a little depressing to see you jet off to somewhere new every week, and that just isn’t possible for me right now. The other admission is that I did check in to see if you were pregnant (I had no idea there was any speculation, sorry ;-()
    I’m very sorry you are experiencing difficulty but i have to say that this straightforward post is really refreshing.
    I don’t discuss my personal life on my blog (as it’s design focused) but I had quite a bit of trouble conceiving my children. The doctors couldn’t tell me why, just that I had “unexplained/idiopathic infertility.” I also experienced two early miscarriages. It seemed that if I got pregnant without medical intervention, the pregnancy was over before it began.
    What made it sooooooo hard was the constant harassment by “well-meaning” friends of the family who thought it their duty to convince me it was time to start a family. It was so hard to keep from blurting out what was really going on, along with a recommendation to mind their own effing business.
    And it was so torturous hearing about one pregnancy after another, going to baby showers, pretending to be happy for expectant mothers. Even now, with two beautiful children, the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head when I hear someone got pregnant on the first try. I don’t know why, it’s so silly, i don’t even want to be pregnant right now… but i suppose old habits die hard. And, to be honest, I wouldn’t change anything. I think everything worked out just the way it was supposed to.
    If I may be so bold as to offer some advice: just try to keep things in perspective and remember all of your precious gifts.
    Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions. I have my phd in TTC ;-)

  395. Carolina Belle

    I’m praying for you guys!! I truly look up to you, and consider you a bright woman of God. I’m so proud that you are speaking your mind, and I respect every bit of your privacy. Good luck to you and your precious family!

  396. Molly

    Thank you for this message~ you are a beautiful person with a beautiful heart and soul. xo

  397. Keelin

    Thank you. It took me eight years to have my first and I disliked that whenever I wore an empire waist shirt or dress I got asked “When are you due”. I love empire waist shirts. I very much enjoy your candor here and I will pray that no matter what is happening that you feel God’s amazing peace. He is so soothing when nothing else is, bless you and your story. Thank you for sharing it.

  398. this was great…funny b/c when you blog people assume you share everything about your life…but in reality you share what you want readers to know. I always thing…hmmm…you read three paragraphs about my 7 day week…there is so much more you don’t know ;)

  399. this was great…funny b/c when you blog people assume you share everything about your life…but in reality you share what you want readers to know. I always thing…hmmm…you read three paragraphs about my 7 day week…there is so much more you don’t know ;)

  400. Khaki

    I think it’s hard for people to take yOu serious when you aren’t real and don’t open up about actual problems and struggles in your life. You seem like a celebrity since you have soooo many followers and well you look like one too …or make yourself look like one…good or had….so it’s easy for people to say things to youth at might be mean because it’s not like you’re a real person to them…I meAn real people have problems, right? Real people hAve struggles and stuff and until this post you never appears to have any, so I think people now might finally think of you as a real person.

  401. Bell

    I’m 38 years old and pregnant for the first time.
    The decision of having a baby was always very difficult for me, even though I have a wonderful, loving and sweet husband. I just didn’t feel ready before.

    I got so tired of people speculating over my life, fertility and even sexual orientation, simply because I was choosing not to have babies.

    I felt the same way as you ‘why is this everybody’s business?’ And why do people think I wasn’t happy or my marriage wasn’t working because we didn’t have any kids? I would never have babies without feeling emotionally ready… I know it was risky, as nature doesn’t wait for us women, but I’d rather not having any babies or even adopt babies rather than having them before feeling ready and become completely frustrated just because society thinks I have too.

    I don’t know why people are so obsessed with that… Why keep asking? Why so curious about that? This is really annoying and I understand you completely.
    Because you have a blog about your life doesn’t mean at all that you HAVE to share everything. It’s YOUR blog! Share what you wish… Good luck!
    (Thanks for letting me venting out here too)

  402. Katie

    Naomi~

    I’ve never commented on a post before, though I love reading your fabulous blog. I commend you for writing this post. I’ve witnessed too many people, all with good intentions, ask fellow women “when are you going to have a baby/you need to get started/that clock is ticking/you better…” And many of the subjects are struggling with fertility, have just suffered a miscarriage, do not want to have children etc etc, and accept the instruction gracefully. But it has to hurt.

    Thank you for reminding all of us that we know not what every single person is feeling/struggling with/suffering from. In this age of sharing and even over-sharing, some things are still sacred and private, and should be respected as such.

  403. Lindsay

    Hi Naomi!

    I know this post is coming so long after you posted that you’ll probably never read it, but I have loved reading about your little family every now and then (and I gave up blogs for Lent, so I’m reading old posts now that it’s over lol!)! I have to say, this is exactly the kind of post that made me fall in love with your blog in the first place (well, also your seriously-too-adorable-for-words family!). Keep posts like this coming! It’s so refreshing to read a person being real and honest in the blogosphere!

  404. When I initially commented I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when
    new comments are added- checkbox and from now
    on whenever a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment.
    Is there a way you are able to remove me from that service?
    Thanks!