here’s to a good day, and an even better weekend!

friday2 friday01

hi there! i hope you had a great week and are about to have an even better weekend. i’m sure crossing my fingers for one.  to be honest, the last few days have been on the rougher side for me.  i haven’t been sleeping well at night, and that in and of itself is a large part. but also because i have been allowing feelings of inadequacy to creep into my life. there is always room for bettering oneself, but i feel like sometimes i am barely keeping up with my day to day to even get to that list of things to improve. you know? “survival” mode. sometimes i swear i just can’t even get out of survival mode!

i want to be the best wife and mother and friend and sister and daughter that i am capable of being. i want to take proper care of myself and my family. i want to have a home that has a spirit and energy of love and peace. one that is on the cleaner side (not crazy clean- but beds made, no cheerios on the floor kind of clean. baby steps.) i want time to finish projects that i have started that are important to me. i want to find more time for service, less time getting caught up in stupid drama that seriously should not even be going on. i want to read more parenting books. i want to finish the parenting books i started over a year ago. i don’t want to let stupid little things that i have no control over get under my skin.  i don’t want to let things go bad in my fridge. i want to exercise more. i want to use that juicer we invested in weeks ago and still haven’t used. i want to listen to my girlfriends and compliment them more. i want to never lose my keys again (they are lost somewhere in the apartment right now. of course. me and those freaking keys, man!)

i’m trying to make changes so i can be and do these things. little changes, nothing big yet. i don’t want to set myself up for complete failure. ;) little things like straightening up the house before we leave each morning so we come home to a clean one. or setting aside an hour each saturday morning to just read my parenting books. or only go grocery shopping with a list and meal plan in mind so nothing goes bad in my fridge. or look for the positive things in friends and others and verbalize it to them rather than just think it. little steps…but we’ll get there.  i’m planning to check in with myself each sunday night through the remainder of the year and see where i thrived and what needs more work each week.  life is too short to let some silly feelings of inadequacy take over.

so this is where i’m at.  coming to realizations, making changes, trying to live life better.  please wish me luck. i wish you luck, too! support! we all need more of that, don’t we? here we go. have a great one!

  1. I don’t happen to be a mama of two little ones…but I know the feeling of inadequacy well. This was something I was struggling with/pondering over last spring. I actually wrote a post about it. Perhaps you’d find some encouragement in reading it. I feel like God has, and is continually changing my perspective in this area. I love reading your blog, Naomi. You’re in my prayers tonight.

    http://teafor2elzingas.wordpress.com/2013/05/16/i-once-was-lost-but-now-am-found/

  2. Erin

    Sweet pictures!

    Maybe you just need to take some time for yourself every now and then. It’s great that you want to be there for everyone but you’ve got to be there for yourself too. Good luck with everything <3

    Erin

  3. Nathalie

    I really liked this article because I feel I’m in the exact same place, well, besides the fact that I live alone and have no children yet, which means I have a lot more time for myself, but anyway, you are right we should totally support each other, and I support you a 100% :)

  4. siheme

    hello taza,

    i already posted in your blog. This time, i just wanted to say that you have to remember that we, women, men, can t be perfect all the time. Do what you can do for your kids, for your husband, for yourself but you cannot please everybody. Expatriation taught me that. I noticed that American have this tendency to be perfect all the time, and as a French girl, I find this exhausting really! have a wonderful sunday my dear!

    instagram: sihemesebaa

  5. Lize

    Dear Naomi,
    I just want to let you know that you are a great inspiration to my life. Especially now that I am expecting my first child. The love and care you put in every post just makes my day. I really love watching your kids grow up to being such beautiful little human beings. Thank you, for that!
    With love,
    Lize
    Holland

  6. Kate

    This post really speaks to me. Currently, I’m trying to balance student teaching, a part time job, and a long distance relationship all while maintaining some sanity. I appreciate your honesty and wish you the best! Hope you found some time to relax this weekend!

  7. Emily

    So easily relatable. sigh. Great post! Encouraging. =]

  8. Lynn

    I have been feeling the same way recently… and have said the very words “stuck in survival mode” about a dozen times this past summer. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels that way! Thanks for inspiring me to take little steps!

  9. here’s to also embracing the little things to make those big things less stressful!

    i love it when you post your thoughts Naomi!

  10. Kelly

    I have been feeling this way SO MUCH lately!! Thank you so much for sharing. It feels so good to know others feel this way and struggle sometimes, too.

  11. Kelly

    You can absolutely do it and do not worry, everyone looses their keys!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  12. Debbie

    Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable post. You may not realize it, but looking at your blog, it seems like you have the perfect life and everything you do comes easily and effortlessly. It’s nice to hear that you are human too. Good luck with everything and know that we all feel that way too!

  13. Anita

    I’m not sure if your 200th and something comment is something you will even read, and I am sure many others have said the same….but I hear ya sista. I’m in my late 20’s with three kids under the age of four and as I am typing this my youngest is screaming in his crib as I try to help him learn to sleep on his own because I can’t possibly carry him all day long anymore like he would like. These last 5 years I’ve either been pregnant or nursing and so I feel (like many other moms) I know a little something about survival mode… I’ve nothing profound to say other than I hear ya. Today in Sacrament meeting a lady with 9 grown children spoke about how difficult it was at times, but it is the pushing up against obstacles that prepares us and strengthens us to progress and become better. When I look back I do see a little progress here and there and I think thats what counts…as well as seeing my children grow into the wonderful little people they are and know that I have been a part of that ;)

  14. Stephanie G

    I’ve never commented to your site… but GOLLY GEE thank you for being so “normal” right now! I feel like this so often with my little ones and I’m not an entrepreneur with various side businesses! AND you take the time to record your lives with a beautiful blog -almost daily! You’ve got a lot going on! I always so admire you! Being a mom of littles is a LOT of work!

  15. Paige

    You and me both with the keys! And I completely agree with all of the above. there are so many areas of my life that I want to improve in as a wife, mother, and friend but it seems so daunting when there is school work, chores, cooking, one day right?

    Paige
    http://thehappyflammily.blogspot.com

  16. Janssen

    What a lovely post – I think you are one of the most successful bloggers I read who keeps her blog feeling real. Nicely done.

    Motivating me to spend a bit of time tonight prepping for the week ahead.

  17. Thank you so much for being so personal and letting the downside of reality be a positive outlook for an optimistic change! Crazy how so many of us can relate to you at the same time.. I really REALLY look up to you, so thank you again :) hope you have a great week!

  18. Angelina

    Your authenticity is wonderful and much appreciated. Know that you are always supported and never alone!

  19. Lydia

    amen. I am right there with you two littles,life can be hectic and I often feel like I am a step behind. Something that has helped me is doing ’10 things before 10am’ – this include, feeding the kiddos, getting them dressed, making beds, emptying the dishwasher etc….
    helps to come home to a tidy house and then you have the afternoon to catch up on some zzzzz’s guilt-free….
    xo

  20. Libby

    Taza! Its crazy, I’ve been checking in with your blog for well over a year but I only found out your name was Naomi like six months ago… silly me.
    ANYWAY, and I know you probably get this sort of feedback a lot and I’m not one to post comments along with the millions of other people and clog up your life but I want to say I was actually upset when you said you’ve been feeling inadequate, let alone losing sleep over it! That’s madness.
    You’re blog is an inspiration, it constantly reminds me that life is a work in progress especially when I think back to just last week and cringe at what at the time I thought was fashion, From your days at Julliard to the life you’re creating day by day with your family in NYC. You go girl, you’re the complete opposite of inadequate! Keep doing what you’re doing! You inspire me to take control and keep working to get the style and the attitude and the surroundings I want!
    Thank you.
    Libby x

  21. I feel like my first words in every single comment are “thank you for being real” .. but um.. it’s true! and I am definitely thankful you are. I always have to remind myself to take everything one day at a time. life will absolutely try and eat you alive! it’s important to soak in each moment and then take things day to day.. or we just miss out on a lot of things.

    one day the littles will be helping you clean, too! so that’s always a bonus ;)

    things will straighten out! we’re cheering you on!!
    bless.

  22. Magda

    i recommend an app called LIFT (if you are using iPhone) it tracks your chosen healthy hapbits and really motivates!

  23. lou

    You’re young… maybe it’s normal that spending the whole week between home and kids’ playground brings inadequacy feeling. I know many who would be driven mad! I don’t know you, so it’s very presomptuous of me, but have you ever considered putting your children one day a week in a pre-kindergarten sort of place? it would make them meet new kids, and you would have some ‘you’ time. I think maybe you need it? Some alone time, to take care of yourself? Also, do you still dance? You’re talking at the end of the post about new projects, new directions of life… I guess if you studied dancing, you must really like it? Maybe put a little bit more dancing in your life? Could you teach children for example? Part-time? Have a bit of time just for you. You well deserve it.

  24. Anita

    I honestly truely completly Love Love Love you for beeing so honest and reflected. I often have the same feelings and I try not to take them to hard. Go on Girl. You are greatfantasticloveleybeautifulandeverythingelse :-)!

  25. Alexandra

    I will share this daily chore schedule. I think is good to do some cleaning and to have time to do things with the family. I hope it helps you as it has helped me.

    http://www.artbookbindery.net/timewarpwife/CleaningSchedule.pdf

    I also can’t find my wedding ring, which is lost somewhere in my house or I think a little 1 year old pirate buried it somewhere.

    God bless and I wish you the best!!

  26. Faith

    No one is perfect. I don’t know you, but unless you’re pretending for the cameras you seem like a perfectly imperfect young mother. Get some help i.e a maid service every two weeks for example and stop trying to do everything in your quest for “perfection”. Relax. Be gentle to yourself. You have a very active life, you’re keeping yourself fit, you express appreciation for your life, you have a spiritual practice….. you’re fine.

  27. Randilea

    Such a good post! I’ve really been struggling with a lot of these issues as well. I beat myself up too much about things. The other day another blogger I follow posted something about her training for a half marathon. She said that she also beat herself up too much when she messed up then she said something that really stuck with me. In essence it was would you treat a friend like you treat yourself? Of course the answer is no! I would never say the things I say to myself to another person. That’s helped me a little. I’ve also started taking some time each night to think about the positive things that happened during my day and focus on those things. Slowly but surely I’m going to get there!

  28. Carolyn S.

    I also often struggle with feelings of inadequacy. I read the book “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown a few months ago and boy, was a complete life-changer! Definitely worth the read!

  29. Anne

    Sometimes I read a blog post that is exactly what I need to hear that day! This was perfect! Goals and baby steps are where it is at! Good luck to us all!

  30. I feel like I spend a lot of time feeling this way. A LOT of time. Being pulled in so many directions does that! (And lack of sleep is a huge trigger for most people.)

    I hope you feel better/feel like yourself soon!

  31. Sarah

    Grocery shopping tip: I had a friend recommend a meal planning service to me – “The Fresh 20”. It makes our weeknight meals healthier, more budget friendly, and it reduces waste! (I hear you about throwing away food because I didn’t get to use it in time.) I have two young kids (5 & 2) and the recipes are simple enough to cook with them running around. :)

    Good luck on your goals! You got this. :)

  32. Terena

    hi there! I don’t have children yet but I can relate to that feeling and I have been loving your blog for the past year! it makes me so excited about having a family and I love that you capture and show the good as well as the tough times..thank you for your honesty! The only way i have known to really be able to shake off these feelings so they don’t get in the way of life is tapping! I would love to offer you a free session in return for all the relaxation and comfort you have given me through this blog! you have my email in case you are interested! In just one hour you can get some relief on all these feelings! its simple! with love and gratitude, Terena

  33. Katelyn

    At the moment I too am going through feelings of doubt in my character and am constantly berating myself with negative critique. I was reading an article in the new issue of Time which is all about health and one article was about meditation. I quickly started meditating for 15 minutes a day and it has helped my mind to reevaluate how I perceive life and my actions. I really recommend it and think it would help to settle your soul. I also got the mindfulness app for the iphone which has guided meditation to help you start.
    You are such an amazing mom and a lovely woman and you deserve to feel that way every moment. Don’t be afraid to take the time to honor your soul and heal your mind.

  34. Laura

    Don’t worry about it – I have two the same age. As they get older you can get back to all these other things and be good at them again.

    The way that you are present with your little kids is wonderful. You are doing the most important thing. This age will be over soon and you will miss the wonderful incomplete chaos.

    This is what I tell myself…

  35. Bozena

    Hi,

    I’m writing to give you my support – I believe you can do everything you want! :) I’m sure about it.

    Hugs from Poland,
    Bożena

  36. dod

    Good Luck Naomie! I’m sure you can do it and me too! Fingers crossed!

  37. Mari

    so very true! that’s why I read elder utchdorf’s talk “forget me not” so often. every time there is a part or piece that helps and inspires. put that on your Saturday morning reading list :) great post!

  38. Britta

    Oh Taza! You are human, not perfect! Those ‘imperfections are probably things that felt other people relate to you so well. Not to mention, from my perspective as well as the many who commented before me, you have left enough of a positive and lasting impression on all of us that we think you will care enough to know we all support and believe in you – which must mean you are doing things right.

    Enjoy those human qualities about yourself (better yet-embrace them!) so often, my favorite part of reading your blog us that you are perpetually your positive self. I have long admired that about you. You seem to have a unique ability to laugh and enjoy when other people would yell or become irritated, and the appearance of your children’s behavior us a direct reflection of that – ie Eleanor giving Sampson kisses in the images above. You have clearly established a positive and loving enviro emit for those two-so consider yourself a part of that; don’t dyop having fun just because someone else or yourself told you you shouldn’t anymore. You only get one shot.. Less fretting and more enjoying!!

  39. Belen

    You are amazing!

  40. Carolina

    Love this post, I am just passing through a difficult time in my life, so I understand you. hope you keep on those babie steps, you are a great woman with a wonderful energy. You will do it.

  41. Monica Ramos

    Sometimes you put things in the back of your mind and forget and then nights like the one you are having now take place. Last night I literally cried out of frustration and then regretted crying because I felt weak. I asked for strength and confidence and direction and today I saw this post and I felt peace.
    Sometimes just knowing that you are not the only one experiencing those feelings is all the comfort you need.
    I looooove you Naomi! You are my inspiration.

  42. elena

    i seriously needed this today. it’s nice to know not EVERYONE has it together all the time. that would just require too much work anyway ;)

  43. Kelcey

    Thank you so much for saying this. I have been feeling the same way lately and am small steps to make changes. It’s nice to know there are other out there who feel the same way.

  44. Sommer

    I echo each and every one of these sentiments… If you haven’t read the Happiness Project yet, you should!!!! Might just change your life or give you a little perspective! Love your blog :-)

    Sommer

  45. This is exactly how I have been feeling lately and you put it into words. It feels like all of the sudden I have been struggling with balance and that all these things have caught up to me at once. But baby steps are where it is at! One thing at a time and one day at a time. Things will get done and if they don’t there’s always tomorrow.

    Chrissy

  46. Such a beautiful, transparent post. I think we all (mamas) have those feelings of inadequacy at some point or another. It is hard to be on top of everything at all times! Flexibility is so key in motherhood. I think you are doing a wonderful job of choosing the best parts… Prioritizing time with your sweetie and your little ones is always more important than making sure that the floors are sparkling. ;-) I am with you on taking baby steps to improve, though! For me, it’s been gym time early in the morning before anyone else is awake (so I can actually take a shower before the day begins), 15 minutes of cleaning after Olive goes to bed and keeping a list on the fridge door with the produce for the week (so I know what I need to be eating before it goes bad!). xo

  47. Renee

    You are a wonderful person to start with and then you are always trying to better yourself which makes you magnificent! Praying for you always,
    Renee

  48. Dona Win

    Best of luck taza! I’m a senior undergraduate student and I always get the “you’re still young and should live life to the fullest before you become an adult” speech. But I too, have high expectations of myself that I struggle with daily. Constantly I need to remind myself, “I am good enough” and you are too.

  49. Amanda P

    You are an inspiration- Thank you for reminding us and yourself what is important- Family & Friends.

    Being more mindful is so so important- but it is also a reminder to not be too hard on ourselves. This is something I struggle with in my own pursuit of peace and order.

    best xoxo

  50. Kim

    I can totally relate to this! We all want to be the best we can be. It’s nice to know others are going through the same thing. All the best from England, Kim.