it’s ok.

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naomi10naomi11

monday was one of my hardest days yet as a mother. it was snowy and rainy out. we never left the apartment. we played, we sang songs, we read books and colored and the kids even napped. but by 3:30 in the afternoon, i was done for the day. i put my kids in the tub for their bedtime bath even though it was only mid afternoon and i sat on the floor beside the tub while they played in the bubbles and cried. eleanor looked up and scrunched her face while extending her hand towards me and said, “mama cry. mama sad?” i told her yes, i was sad. and that i was tired. and that mama wanted a nap. she asked if i had a boo boo. i told her no boo boo, but she kept asking to see my boo boo. she asked to kiss it better. i told her to kiss my cheek. that it would help me feel better. she stood up in the tub and held my face between her wet hands full of bubbly soap and kissed me. i cried even harder (which may have confused her) and thanked her for my kiss. it was just so sweet and tender. and it helped put everything in perspective. it helped me feel a little bit better.

in those moments where you are beat by 3:30 in the day but the day is hours away from over and you aren’t sure you’ll make it to dinner time…. in those moments where you might feel alone or anxious or overwhelmed with this big job of motherhood, where you sometimes don’t have any idea what you are doing yet you are trying your best…in those moments where others, whether some place online behind a screen of anonymity or even straight to your face at a grocery store tell you you aren’t doing it well enough and criticize your parenting choices without thinking twice about what they are typing or saying as they turn every parenting issue into a battle…  just know that you are doing a wonderful job. you are doing your best. and your best is good enough. if your kids go to bed after 9:30 instead of 7, it’s ok. if you let your baby crawl around on his hands and knees of a museum floor, that’s ok too. if your baby is still breastfeeding past two or was formula fed since birth, co-sleeping with you or sleeping in a crib, wearing cloth or disposable diapers….at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks about it.

what matters is that after you researched all your options, you have decided what is best for you and your family, and that you are doing your best. you love your little family (most days!) and they love you back (…. most days!). what matters is that you are making the most out of your life together and enjoying it as best you can.

it’s ok to cry. it’s ok to have bad days, too. and it’s ok if the way you’re choosing to do it isn’t the way another would.  i’d like to think i have pretty thick skin (putting anything out here on this thing called the internet has sure toughened it a bit). but  thick skin or not, we are all human. and there are days where it is difficult to put on a tough face and carry on.  but not all of us are judgy and critical. so don’t let ‘those people’ get you down. no one has this thing figured out perfectly. and we are all in this together.

after eleanor kissed my boo boo better, i reminded myself of this, wrapped my littles up in their towels and carried on as best i could the rest of our day together.

*photos by tim coulson. they don’t really have anything to do with this post, really. but i like pictures with posts. so there you go!

  1. Izzy

    You are an awesome mother and when your children grow up to see all the beautiful memories you’ve archived on here they will be so proud. All the best to you all x

  2. Meghan

    Thank you for this post. You have no idea how much this means to me this morning. It’s weird because I read your blog and get a peek into your life, all the while you have no clue about me. But the sentiments and timing of this post make it seem like you know me :) Thank you for the courage to write so honestly, and know that it is needed and appreciated. Best to you and your family.

  3. Tyler

    I am a new mom, I read all the time but never comment, and I just had to come back and let you know… When I read this the other night, I really needed it. Thank you! Also, would love to hear more about how you mange nursing and traveling!

  4. Oh Naomi, I know you won’t read this comment as it is number 503 and a few days late. but as a fellow momma with extremely close kiddos (a set of boys 15 months apart followed by a set of girls 18 months apart) I, like so many others, have been there! It isn’t even that you are crying because of sadness, just sheer exhaustion. Everyone told me to wait until the youngest was six months and then it would be easy. I think the truth is it is never easy, just a different kind of hard. Often I am overwhelmed thinking their entire eternal salvation rides on me. That the choices they will make when they are older are effected by if I am not too tired to read scriptures to them, if I had a moment to whip together an FHE. It is so much to bear and sometimes all this pressure just wells up and overflows with tears. I like to think it is these times that our heavenly father sends us an extra dose of patience or a boost of energy. I know the internet gives you a tough skin but it also lets you know you are not alone. And as these 500 some comments show, you certainly are not! Sending you hugs from Paris!

  5. Darling

    I had a similar day late last week and this was exactly what I needed. To know that someone out there was feeling the same and im not the only one….. and to find out it was someone as awesome as you well it made my day even more. Im a judgment free person as well and I have been talking about this for a while now. We are all doing our best, we are all amazing mothers and if we could just see that in each other we would be the support that we need. Thanks! I emded up mentioning it in my blog post.

  6. danielle

    ugh, amen sister! These sorts of things are so refreshing, knowing that I’m not the only one who just loses it sometimes!

    Being a mama is tough work!

  7. Maria

    I’m not a mom but I’m a preschool teacher and I know that the best thing you can do for your kids is spending time with them! And you do plenty of that. You’re a great mom and don’t listen to those annoying “know-it-alls”!

  8. Thank you for this post.

  9. Hannah

    This made me tear up a bit (PMT). A lovely, true post – I will be sharing with any other mums I know, very inspirational!

  10. Megan

    I’m not a mother but this really put things into perspective for me. Thank you for sharing. I have these kind of days when two little ones don’t even rely on me.

    Thank you!

  11. Elizabeth

    I feel so much saner after reading this post…I don’t have a blog but have definitely felt just like that (and sometimes the voice criticizing me is…me!) Thank you for your beautiful outreach, I love it all. xo, E

  12. You and I had a similar day and i imagine most mamas have all been there. the difference is you had an outpouring of support and i had two comments that carried me through :)

  13. Tess (Meyer) Watts

    I don’t know if you will even see this- since I am a few days late but thank you!! THANK YOU.,.. sometimes I feel like I am the only one who feels this way.

  14. Babou

    Thank you for writing this
    And Eleonor is such a good hearted child, bless her

  15. Kieren

    Blogs come and go, but yours is something special (at least to me). I have been reading for about 4 years now and since Day One you have been an inspiration to me. Your love of life and family is so obvious. You have encouraged me to continually search for beauty in the people, places, and things I love. This is extra lame, but I dread the day that you close the blog or it becomes private. It will feel like losing a friend!

    Anyway, I just wanted to add my voice to the chorus of supporters. You are a wonderful woman, wife, and mother. Keep up the great work!

  16. Cathy

    Thank you for this beautiful post. It was so honest and really encouraging too actually

    Cathy x
    Turquoise Flamingo

  17. With a little reflection you know it was a moment and I hope the other side of that is you know that the children are no worse off for that moment. My gosh, look at every photo on your blog, what a gorgeous, happy, exuberant family you have. You are amazing and whether you cry or not, they know it.

  18. Courtney

    This post is wonderful. I am a first time mom. I cry A LOT, It’s hard to keep it together sometimes. I thank you for this post. I have followed your blog for a while now, and love it! It is so nice to see women of our faith sharing it proudly. President Gordon B. Hinckley once said, “Happy is the man who can brush aside the offending remarks of another and go on his way.” I think you do that well. You are a wonderful person and have a beautiful family. Keep sharing!
    Thank you again.

  19. Talia

    Glad I decided to check out your posts tonight, I needed to read that! I really enjoy your blog and give you a high five! I have a soon to be 1 year old and a 1 week old! Everyone has opinions when they really should focus on their own lives. We have to be respected as mothers and if someone chooses not to like our ways then as the old saying goes “if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all”… (Something to that effect)

    Keep doing what you do! You bring smiles to people lives!
    :)

  20. Lisa

    Seeing how I’m the 520th comment not sure if my comment matters or will be read but it’s worth saying anyway… as you know “when you are discouraged thinking all is lost… count your many blessings!” Girl you have it good! A gorgeous family, two healthy and beautiful children, amazing talents, and more importantly an enteral perspective. You have chosen to post your life on the world wide web and fortunately for you- get money from it. No one’s forcing you to do it. Open your eyes and recognize the MUCH beauty around you!

  21. Nicole

    Beautifully stated and very true. Thank you for sharing.

  22. kitten

    after having a terrible afternoon, this is exactly what i needed to hear. it’s ok.

  23. Amelia

    I want to thank you! I found you blog quite by accident, Pinterest photo of your kids play room, but stayed and started to read your posts. I was actually in tears because I’m so thankful to know that I’m not alone in those same feelings. I have twin girls 18months and while most days are amazing there are moments where I break and think maybe I’m doing it all wrong and am mentally done. But then they pull me out of it by giggling and going mommy mommy and I realize how very lucky I am.

  24. kristen

    beautifully said. thank you.

  25. AQ

    Naomi, when I am fortunate enough to have children of my own, I hope to be even half the mother you are. Reading your blog for a few years now, I am always in awe of how hard you work to give your children as many different experiences as possible so that their horizons may be broadened. When they are old enough E and S will no doubt tell you this themselves, but you are a wonderful mother, and you could not possibly hope to do a better job than you are already doing.

    :)

  26. Awena

    Of course it’s OK. It’s OK to cry, it’s OK to feel these emotions that you had. As a mum of 2 young children, I completely understand what you went through. You are not alone. I think as we raise our children, we all go through these moments and emotions, wondering if we’ll manage until the end of the day. As you say, no one can judge whether or not we do a good job. You are the best judge of how you raise your children. We all do our best for our children in the circumstance that we are in, whatever our situation.

    It sounds like you are a fighter, so I’m sure that your day today is a better one. Take care.

  27. J

    Oh Naomi. You were the answer to my prayers. Thanks for reminding me of what matters most.
    Sending many hugs from Leipzig in Germany! You’re such a wonderful mother! J

  28. Dalia

    Well I just want to say that I think you’re a great example of a good mother, wife and friend. I’ve been following your blog for a couple of years now and from the things you share with us I can tell you’re a great, humble, nice and happy person. We are not perfect and sometimes have those bad moments but that’s why I’d like to share this video with you. (you may have already seen it…)
    Keep up the good attitude and remember that we ALL have those bad, tiring moments.

    xoxo

    https://www.lds.org/pages/moments

  29. Alice

    Lovely post, Thanks for sharing with us. I don’t have a family yet and can’t even imagine how tough it could be. You are doing an amazing job, Hope I will be a great mama like you one day. Love. Alice

  30. Sally

    Thank you!!

  31. Jillian

    That was beautiful. THANK YOU.

  32. Melissa

    You never fail to amaze me, Naomi! You are doing a wonderful job, beyond wonderful! Stay strong.

  33. Natalie

    <3

  34. Sara

    I have been reading your blog for about 4 years now and am constantly inspired by you and your amazing little family. You inspire me to become an amazing mother one day. Your kiddos always look so happy and I can just tell you are a great momma! So thanks for always sharing so much of your life with us readers and being so honest. Once babies are in my picture I will definitely be looking back through your blog for parenthood inspiration and tips, something that even if you don’t think you are a pro at, you are pretty stinkin’ great at!

  35. Paulina

    I admire you. Even though I don’t know the taste of motherhood (but I’ve been an auntie for quite a long time now), I think it’s a tough job to be a mom. And it’s a full-time job, with no shifts. Cause your children count on you, want to see you smiling, being happy. But it’s not only sunny in this mother-children relationship. It’s often cloudy. But the thing is to accept it and just go on. You have a beautiful family, I can’t stop smiling watching the photos of your children. In some way I envy you. My life is such a mess ;] and yours is so complete.

    Be strong!!!

    Love,
    Paulina.

    http://restlessblonde.blogspot.com/

  36. debra

    You know, I’ve never left a comment here, feeling like i didn’t need too. but, i read your blog cause it makes me happy, to see your very sweet family, the way your able to have two small children, take them on trips to Europe or San Francisco and do it with ease (or it seems). i don’t know you and the chances of you reading this is slim, but you’re great! your babies are beautiful, your husband and family love you, and your doing everything fine.

    i don’t have kids but i do see the way you raise those SUPER CUTE munchkins and hope that when i do have a little one i will be just as caring, lovable, fun and witty of a mom as you are. what’s sad about now a days is people don’t realize what comes out of their mouths, and if they do and know its rude, well… fuck em. what matters at the end are that your children are safe and know they are loved.

  37. Lizette

    Wonderful, wonderful post! Mamas need to here it from other Mamas every now and then. Beautifully written….thank you, xoxo.

  38. you are my top “mama” blogger. i just love your colorful, sweet family. we don’t have kids yet but you are such an inspiration in how you raise E & S and your strength in the church. you’re a pretty rad chick on your own too! i hope to be somewhat like you.
    my mama raised 2 little girls on her own and we turned out pretty well. just sayin’. you’re doing a swell job. i love how E seems to have this instinctive bond with you to hold your pretty face and kiss your boo boos. with such concern. those kiddos are precious.
    x- Kali

  39. Carolyn

    So glad to see all the comments here filled with love and support. Being a mother is the best and hardest job in the world, hands down! My kids are almost all grown up now but I remember those days and there was no one or no internet to remind me it was okay to be me, imperfections and all. And why are some moms so competitive or women so mean-spirited to one another? I’ve never understood that. We’re not all that way, fortunately. My favorite quote is, “The only failure in a family is to quit.” That doesn’t mean you can’t have a bad day, a good cry, or a getaway when you need to, just as long as you come back and try again it’ll all be okay. Thanks for sharing your Real life. You’re a brave woman!

  40. Liliane
  41. Have you ever thought about writing an ebook or guest authoring on other sites? I have a blog centered on the same subjects you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my readers would appreciate your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e-mail.

  42. bethani

    oh my! this is just the posted i needed this week. honestly! i had been slacking on my blog reading and made it a point this morning to sit down and catch up on the “davis clan.” so someone up in the big wonderous sky must have known i needed this little pick me up this week.

    i became a first time mommy literally two months ago. and just went back to work this past monday – which just happens to be temporary. next friday is my last day as a full time working girl in the corporate world. turning in my badge for a more stay a home mom position with a little part time work on the side.

    but i must say these past months have been the hardest, yet some of the most joyous months of my life. i have never felt so pressured by some of the thoughts and voices around me on how to raise our child. and it does get overwhelming. being a mom is hard enough. being a mom with all the “extra voices” is impossible. making the decision to leave my job was very difficult and was something that had been discussed for many months before our sweet little even got here, but the negativity that some people have for our decision made me question myself several times, but i finally had to make put on my ‘do whats best for my family’ persona first before ‘whats best for everyone else.’

    so thank you thank you thank you for this post. it made me feel like i’m not the only one out there going through these mom difficulties.

    and i definitely can not wait for those “boo boo” kisses from my little to put a smile on my face like e does for you.

  43. Carla

    I aspire to make motherhood look as good as you do… thank heavens for bubble baths to soak up even thirty minutes on those impossibly long afternoons!

  44. Magda

    Naomi, you made me cry .. Thank you for that post! You’re amazing mom! :)

  45. Anne

    This is wonderful! You’re a great mom, keep doing your thing mama!

  46. Joanne

    Thank you so much for writing this. I’ve been having similar days lately but haven’t had the guts to admit it and put it out there.

    Best,
    Joanne

  47. Kim

    Oh, I think you’re doing a wonderful job at this motherhood thing!! Thank you for such an honest post. It’s true, we all feel this way from time to time. Love and grace your way.

  48. Jenna

    Some parts of the internet shouldn’t be allowed to exist. I know all about those days you are describing (both the criticism and the exhaustion and feeling blindsided because you thought you were making an okay choice and then it blew up in your face). You know what though? Your kids don’t know anything about the mess that is the internet. They just think you’re an awesome mom. And the rest of it doesn’t really matter.

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  50. I’m sorry mama. I know it’s hard. I remember those days (and still have them). But now as a divorced mom to 3 that has gone from stay at home mom to full time working mom, I miss those days! One day they’ll be big and independent and you’ll cry because you miss them. :)

  51. Strangely enough, I thought about the comments on your Instagram account more than once over the last couple of weeks regarding the picture of Samson crawling on the floor of MOMA. How easy it is to comment on the life of another through the anonymity of a screen – well said I studied psychology in grad school and one of my most favorite professors talked at length about being the “good enough mother.” It’s not the perfect mother who raises the best children, in fact that often creates more problems than it does good outcomes. Rather, it’s the mother who is vulnerable, honest, and messes up a time or two that raises the healthiest children. It’s through the honesty of the mother, her vulnerability in being human, and the reconciliation of her “mess ups” with the child that her children learn have the best chances of growing up healthy.

    I don’t know you, but your honesty in this post makes me think you’re on the right track. Best to you and to your sweet family – may your children crawl on many more floors of the world’s finest art museums.

  52. It burns me up how people feel the need to point their fingers and judge others based off of a single picture, as if they’ve never made a mistake before. I just want to say that you’re absolutely GORGEOUS and so is your family. Embrace it, and know that you inspire hundreds with this adorable little blog of yours.

    Have a wonderful day and remember to smile! :))

  53. Natalie

    Beautifully written… Thank you!

  54. Hannah

    thanks for sharing- as a new mom, it really meant so much to me. words are such a powerful thing, and too often they are used critically. and i think often times when words are critical or judgmental, the root is jealousy, ignorance or insecurity. where there is a negative comment, i know there must be hundreds more that support you and credit you as an inspiration. you are such a positive voice and bright light in this sometimes dark thing called the internet. blessings and joy to you and your family!

  55. Jordan

    I cried. Thank you so much for this, Naomi. I needed this so much today. You are a great mother. And personally, I loved seeing your Vine video of Samson crawling in the park and at the museum. I would do the same thing. :) Keep doing what you are doing.

  56. Corazon

    thank you for this. good to know i’m not the only one who has days like this!

  57. Emily

    Thank you for this post and for baring those less beautiful moments of motherhood. It’s beautiful and real. I had an entire Easter weekend like the day you mentioned here and it’s so good to know that you’re not alone.x

  58. Alethia

    It is amazing and refreshing when another mother voices a feeling that you identify with so completely that you have to stop and read their post over and over again. God bless you and your family for letting your special light shine. YOUR light and YOUR family doesn’t have to look or behave like anyone elses. I admire you and reading your blog inspires me.

  59. Kristi

    Thank you so much for this. As a first-time mama of an almost 4 month old I really needed to read this this week. I love following your blog and your beautiful family, and it is comforting to read a post like this and know I am not alone.

  60. Mia

    Just adding my two cents; thank you. I don’t have a baby (yet), but have just had a much-loved friend to stay with her six-month-old, and she needs to hear this; every woman who has/will have a baby needs to, and so does everyone who tries to put their two cents in, however well on this they mean (and don’t they always think they mean well!).

    Your photos and blog make me really excited to start a family. Samson and Eleanor look so happy; I wish for exactly the same. Keep doing your thing, your way!

  61. Batsheva

    looove your blog.
    this post is so well written and honest, especially bc when you read blogs (esp urs) life on colorful pictures looks so glamorous and perfect. it seems as thgh your kids never cry, always dressed perfectly, and everyone always sleeps peacefully!
    im a mother of 2 girls, a 3 mo old and a 2 year old, and let me share with you one of the best lines that i say to myself everyday (esp on days when i feel like crying @ 330 pm ) “the days are long but the years are short”
    all the best, and wtvr your doing, your doing a great job

  62. I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if I had such a large audience critiquing my parenting. Forget trolls & rude people.

    http://www.daniellediy.com

  63. Sarah

    oh, pretty girl. I hope you know that for every mean comment, and for every doubt in your mind, there are a thousand internet friends here who look forward to your posts every day. I’ve been quietly reading your blog for a few months and decided this was the first post I would comment on. You’re such an inspiration for being a good mother and a wonderful wife and some days, your pictures and your words are what makes me feel like I, too can have the happy days that you talk about. You are one of the main reasons I started my blog & I just love you for it (is that weird to say? that was probably weird to say). Keep your chin up, kiss those babies, and know that you’re making a difference.

    Sarah

  64. frankie

    thank you

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  66. Rosa

    Thank you for this post. It’s so real and resonates with all of us mommies. Keep your head high; you are an amazing mother! :)

  67. MARINA

    Hi!I just wanted to say that I read your blog from Spain and I love it. I love what you do with your kids, I find it very inspiring for me as a mum od 2 (and one more on its way!). Sometimes I read your posts to get ideas, but most of the times I read it to get the sense that to have a family is fun, is hard but it’s rewarding…I think you and your husband are doing a great job, you have two beautiful children. We should all enjoy!!!!There’s NOTHING like it in the whole wide word. Besos!

  68. Crystle

    I’ve only been a mother for three weeks, but having a newborn is definitely a trial in patience and stamina. I’ve felt down about my failures in breastfeeding, and guilty about the amount of disposable diapers we go through…but we’re doing the best we can, and the best for our family.

    Thank you for the boost in confidence I needed! Hopefully the kind comments (of which there are SO MANY!) from your readers can help do the same for you.

    Cheers.

  69. Kathryn

    Naomi, thank you for such a beautifully honest post. (and Eleanor is just the cutest) Although I won’t be a mother for years to come, your words are being filed away for future comfort.

  70. estee

    just catching up on this- you are unreal! i don’t have any sweet babes just yet but i do have some heavy days, and it really is okay! everything will be better in the morning!
    you are such an incredible example of love and grace, naomi! air fives and air kisses from the east to the west side of the island.

    xoxo

  71. Rachel Hagen

    Just catching up. You are so graceful and classy. There’s a lot more I can say, but I’m so impressed with such a great mom and person you are.
    xoxo
    ps I WISH I could nurse my kids that long, how’d you do it? S
    Weaned, although it looks like Abby’s not ready anytime soon…

  72. Jessica

    Naomi I’ve noticed some really nasty comments on your Instagram lately about parenting. I’m so sorry. Those people really are nuts. You’re a great mom. its obvious by how happy, well cared for, and sweet your kids are. This feels like a remarkably childish thing to say but, haters gonna hate. (there we can pretend we’re 13 together for a second ;) ) You’re a great mom who loves your family and is doing the best for them. Children are not made of glass and if they crawl around on museum floors or whatever they are going to be fine. Nobody has it all figured out. Nobody. All you can do is love them and do your best and you know what, I think you’ve got that covered. :) One day your kids are going to thank you for being such a great mom to them. Anyways suppppppppperrrr long comment, I just thought you could use some encouragement. You’re an awesome mom and person! Haters gonna hate ;)

  73. Renee

    I needed this!! Thanks :) amazing!

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  75. You are amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you any different! Being a parent is hard, tough, incredibly amazing, and personal. You said it well in your post.

    You are beautiful. You are such a great example to the millions who watch you.

    You’re just the best blogger ever and one heck of a momma too!!!! Its so obvious you’re doing so much good! xoxo Cassie