i just finished frosting somebody’s birthday cake in the kitchen. the entire time i had to fight back the biggest baby tears. i am an emotional wreck today. eleanor is officially two. part of me is mad today is already february 1st because i am not ready. it is difficult to admit to myself that we are already here. even harder to say aloud. it went too fast. scary fast… they aren’t kidding when they say you blink and they’re fully grown. i have decided to stop blinking from now on.
and so here we are, february 1st 2013. my baby girl is two years old.
lately, eleanor carries around one of those little rubber blue bulb syringe things we got at the hospital when she was born. she uses it as her microphone when she feels like singing. it also serves as her ice cream cone when she feels like having a lick. she even sleeps with it… and just when i think she is fully out for the night and try to pry it away from her little grasp, she tightens her grip. ok eleanor, you can sleep with that snot sucker thing, sure. sometimes i crave an ice cream cone in the middle of the night, too. she has a fascination with the moon. we look for it in all of our books. we look for it when we are outside and we look for it when we are inside by looking out the window. sometimes we catch it and stick it in our pockets. and sometimes we play catch with the moon before we toss it back into the sky. the best is when she pretends to roll it under one of the cribs and says, “oh no! moon! where are you?!” and then goes searching the apartment from the moon… “are you here? noooo. MOON! are you here?!….. noooooo….” as she looks under furniture and in closets.
as we are leaving the apartment each day and are about the close the door behind us, eleanor says, “keys, mama? keys?” i did not train her to do this but i’m thankful someone is on top of things around here. she loves to skype with grandma and grandpa. in the middle of the night a few weeks ago she came and pulled me out of bed and led me to the computer in the front room. she then pointed to it repeatedly while signing “grandma. grandma.” sweet girl. how do you explain to a 2 year old that it is 3 in the morning and grandma is asleep? she cried. and then i cried because it is hard living so far from family sometimes.the other day i was sitting on the bed nursing samson and eleanor casually walked into my bedroom. she leaned up against my bed crossing one leg over the other and rested her head against her hands (one of which held a little blue crayon, naturally) and looked up at me. “oh, hi mama.” ”hi eleanor. what are you up to?” she used her hands while she spoke very fast about something that sounded very important and i nodded my head back and forth trying to catch little phrases of things i could understand while occasionally offering up responses like, “really?” or “wow!” or “and then what?” when she finished, she turned to walk back out, pausing before she got to my door to blow me a kiss over her shoulder. “bye, mama.” and then, you know, for the 798th time that day, my heart burst.
i am so thankful for you, eleanor. i love you more than you will ever know. happy birthday, sweet sweet baby girl.
first photo by carissa gallo.