this pregnancy has been a lot harder, a lot more painful, a lot bigger and a whole lot more uncomfortable than when i was carrying eleanor. because of this, i keep catching myself complaining about being pregnant more than i’d like to admit. and how unfortunate. because deep down, i’m so thankful we’re having another baby. and so proud of my body for being able to keep up with the demands of growing this tiny human so far. and how many times in my life do i get to experience this? i don’t know that answer, so i really want to be sure i’m not only focusing on all the pain associated with this pregnancy and instead be content, and happy, and thankful that it’s happening at all.
so while i’m on the topic, it really hasn’t been that awful. i know many women have it much worse than me (oh bless you, women!) and when i think about it, there have been quite a few wonderful moments so far along the way that i’ve loved.
for example, i don’t think feeling those baby kicks inside my tummy will ever get old. or hearing the sweet congratulatory messages from strangers as they smile and pass by. or listening to my baby’s quick heart beat at the doctor’s office every few weeks. or pulling out those little newborn onesies all over again and realizing just how tiny they really are.
or my own baby girl, who is not so much a baby anymore, poking and pulling at mama’s new ‘outy’ belly button in wonder. giving the big belly kisses and rubbing it gently. with no ability just yet to even grasp the concept that she’s about to become a big sister to a little brother. about to meet her future best friend (or so this mama hopes) and someone she will grow to love and share so much with over her lifetime. and then there is my husband….who rolls over in the morning half asleep and places his hand on my belly and asks how his wife and baby boy are doing. after i answer he always responds with a sweet i love you. and i love him back, so so much.
it makes all those endless trips to the bathroom, the constant fatigue and sleepless nights worth it, you know? it’s all pretty wonderful, too.