about that time last week where i didn’t have a baby in my arms. or on my hip. or even, in sight.

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so there were a couple of days last week where i felt entirely overwhelmed with the whole mama thing. we’re in this new phase of crawling everywhere, standing up and falling down (sometimes hard), sticking everything in our mouth, and biting down really hard with two new little bottom teeth that are sharp! (as her mama and current food source, trust me when i say those things couldn’t be sharper!) i love this little munchkin to death, but last week almost killed me.
i’m also not entirely sure how it has happened, but friday i realized i had never been away from eleanor for more than 2 hours at a time (when josh takes her on little daddy daughter walks around the hill or plays with her while i run an errand… or those two hours where i saw the harry potter movie in july while my sweet mama had eleanor outside of the theater. but come to think of it, i had to run out mid movie for 5 minutes to feed her. so never mind on that one.) but anyway, since february 1st, we’ve been together pretty much twenty four seven. i think the main reason has to do with the fact that we didn’t try to give eleanor a bottle until june (in retrospect, i realize that was somewhat an idiotic move) and by that point she was all ‘um? a bottle?! haha. no thank you.’ so since i only nurse her and we don’t have the whole solid foods thing down very well just yet, it’s not possible to be away longer than a few hours at once. and also, let’s be honest here…i’m a little bit obsessed with that baby girl of mine. so being away from her for long stretches of time usually sounds like the worst and silliest idea ever.
but last week did me in. one night, i found myself up until past 2am even though eleanor and josh had gone to bed around ten just because i wanted to have time to myself. i was completely exhausted and needed to sleep but i also just really wanted to sit there in the dark and be alone for 5 minutes. to take a hot bath and shave my legs in quiet. to browse the internet. to listen to music. i was so tired. but i wanted alone time. and 2am seemed like the only time i could get it. and that, my friends, is when i realized…i could really use an hour (during daylight?!) or maybe two. or if i’m being really selfish here, maybe an entire morning to myself? and so, i told this to josh the next day who said, ‘well. yeah. i’ve been offering to watch her while you take a day to yourself since um… february?’ and it’s true. he has. but i’m always like, ‘nah. i got this.’

so guess who had a morning all to herself on saturday? it was a little bit strange, a little bit awesome and a little bit relaxing all at the same time. i went and got my hair fixed up (i won’t even tell you how long it has been since my last cut. my sorry sad split ends.) and just sat around and relaxed. while i was on my own, josh took eleanor to my favorite place, 2amy’s, and brought me back my favorite pizza, arrancini and roasted olives to-go! that was probably the biggest surprise and highlight of my day, when my sexy man showed up with my favorite meal and a baby in his arms (what is it about a man with a baby? then add my man with my baby…plus a pizza? i love him.)
it’s a funny thing being a mom. because that entire morning away from my baby, i really missed her. but i’m learning if i’m going to stay sane as her mommy, i need some alone time every now and again. this mama thing is hard hard work. hard work, yes…but also, it’s the most rewarding and special calling in life. even when i have to hold eleanor as i pee because she doesn’t want to let go, i still love every second of it.
  1. I loved that incredibly honest post. I usually don't comment, but this made me feel like I just wanted to give you a big thumbs up for being a brilliant mum and knowing when to take a bit of time out for yourself. You deserved that.

  2. Sophie

    Wow, that sounds really honest and not at all selfish. I'm far from having a baby, but I feel I can understand you. Sounds healthy t admit that kind of feeling.

  3. Cassie

    You've just spoken some serious truth to the reality of motherhood. And the last line kills me. So glad you are working on taking that time. It makes us better and more patient parents, I think. x

  4. Very lovely, thoughtful post. :)

  5. i do love your honest posts on motherhood.

    except i misread the "morning to myself" as "month to myself" and thought, wow…where is she going with this? i'm glad i re-read and realized my mistake.

    …and now i want a pizza.

  6. Meagan

    Your honesty here speaks volumes. It's validates so many universal feelings that mothers across the world feel. It's that guilt of wanting and needing to be alone, and finally realizing that IT. IS. OKAY. Beautifully written…

  7. Love the honesty. A little alone time is so refreshing. We all need it and quite frankly need to take more of it!

  8. alex

    it is so brave and encouraging to hear you talk about a mother's right to alone time – although i don't have a mini yet, i can only imagine what a struggle it is to strike the balance.


  9. shelly

    good for you! also the last line about killed me. thanks for the chuckles!!

  10. Sara

    it sounds like you are doing an amazing job. everyone needs their alone time. And, my cousin is a colorist at immortal beloved, so I like your choice of escape venue =)

  11. Thank you for posting this! I think especially in this area (northern va) its common between moms to appear to have it all together and to look like your the mom who doesn't need a break from your kids at all! Since I had Judah (december) I haven't had more than a few hours away from him, and thats typically doing Target Runs or going to the store to get something. I think for our own sanity we need some mama time, alone, and it shouldn't be staying up past 2 am to get it. (I do it ALL the time) but I typically regret it when 5 am rolls around and I realized I've had 3 hours of sleep but Judah needs to be fed.

    I love him, I think he is the best christmas gift, sweetest blessing in the world, but now that he is more mobile (and yes putting everything in his mouth) I need some mama time alone. Just for my sanity. And yes my husband looks even sexier coming into the door with Judah in his arms :-) He took our son last Saturday to run errands :-)

  12. I love that your life isn't perfect. It makes you relatable. So often I find that blogs give us a false sense of some glamourous life we aren't leading, but I'm more jealous of yours than any of those.

    Glad you're finally getting some alone time.

  13. I can relate to your entire post because I go through the same thing with my 10 month old son. It is very hard at times, and I know exactly how you feel. Thanks for posting this, I thought I might be the only one who needs some time to myself to just be me.=)

  14. That was such a good post. Very encouraging advice for ladies that are not mothers yet. It makes people, like me, believe that I can do this someday. Thanks for your transparency! :)

  15. MellyB

    My baby freaks out if I go to the bathroom without him. Swear. Plus my husband is out of town for work half the time. So in order for me not to shove marshmallows in my ears and stick my head in the freezer, I need a little alone time every once in a while. Then I come back a happy and we all cuddle and laugh and smile really big. For the most part. Most days. I like to think.

  16. You are doing great. And everyone needs alone time. That is really important to stay sane and relaxed. Maybe you can do it now on a regular basis. And I am sure Elenoar enjoys some Papa time as well.
    I hope I will be such a great Mama one day.

  17. colleen

    love this post and hearing more about your experience with motherhood. i'm not a mom but we always have to remember to spend some time with ourselves – if a job, relationship, friends, volunteer activities, etc. – are becoming too much. so glad you got the morning to yourself and a big high five to josh for helping give that to you.

  18. delaney

    kudos :) if we want to help others we first have to help ourselves, and it's not selfish at all. that's why planes tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping those around you! best wishes xo

  19. Mrs. Ham

    hope you feel rested up! i dont blame ya for taking a morning to yourself. i can only imagine needing a break but also missing your baby at the same time..


  20. Ahh – appreciate the mommy honesty! I am a little bit glad to hear that you're not actually completely perfect as a mother!

  21. Being a mama is hard hard work and it is so so great. Alone time is so so important. I'm glad you got some and recognize the value in that. It makes you appreciate the kids so much more when you miss them and have the desire to come home again. At least I do.

    Plus, it really really helps when you know there is a sexy man at home taking care of them. I love my man as well. He's great to my four bubbas!

  22. Thank you for this post! :) I am due with my first in December and I know I will probably face the same dilemma since I live by no family and not a lot of people that I would want to watch my baby! I want to breast feed exclusively, too, but I know I need to bottle feed from the beginning so he will get used to it! You are such a good mom and make me excited to be a mom. :) Definitely, you should have time to yourself at least once a week and you will be an even better mama!

  23. It's a very smart, unselfish thing when a mama realizes that she has to have some time to herself in order to be a good mama.

    I know a mom who goes away to a hotel for a weekend -once a year- just so she can 'reboot'. She spends her time reading, taking hot baths, eating,and also thinking about how to be a better mom and where her family can improve. I love that idea!

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I am a mother of four and have gone through all of the emotions for sure, but it still feels better when you know others have felt the way you have, you know?


  24. I'm expecting a little girl any day now. It's my first. And I love reading your posts about being a Mummy.

  25. Totally on the same boat here! As we were saying on Twitter, Jacob is one day older than E, and we suck at the whole bottle thing, too. MY husband Josh has also been trying to give me alone time but I would always feel guilty taking it. I love my little dude so much, and can't stand to not be cuddling him, but last week was the breaking point for me,too. Josh kicked me out of the house for a few hours. I went shopping, had a coffee (while it was still hot!), and caught up on my internets!

    Its so hard to remember to take care of ourselves as new mommas. I have a tough time when I'm not the very "perfect, I have my baby on my all the time" mom I think I should be, but we have to care for ourselves so we can be rested and good for our families!
    Good luck finding some more bits of alone time here are there. Oh, and the Ergo makes it totally easy to pee while you have your baby on you :)

  26. Rachee

    Fabulous post! I'm go glad you wrote this! It's hard, but mommas need to realize we need to take care of ourselves AND our little ones.

  27. that was an amazing read. i love your honesty. my husband and i are trying to get pregnant with our first. i can't wait, but i'm trying to enjoy my alone time while i still can! lol. c: glad to see you were able to have an entire morning to yourself and i hope you get more! <3

    [ blog | twitter ]

  28. Mary

    I loved this post! I've often contemplated holding a baby while peeing, but always took it as a sign that I was going nutso kablutso {that's not a real thing}. I think sometimes as new mothers we feel that deep inner strength inside us and think that means we can be Superwoman and do it all, when really we still need help. Holy cow, it's super hard sometimes. I've looked at my fussy babes {I have six-month-old twins} during a busy morning and said, "I need to eat breakfast now, so I can be a good mama for you in a minute." From this side of the Internet, it looks like you're doing an excellent job, and raising an adorable and happy baby.

  29. Gosh, so true! I'm always refreshed by these honest motherhood posts. Sometimes I think "Am I crazy? Am I the only one who is completely overwhelmed by all of this?!" I think it is SO important for moms to be honest… about the good and the bad!

    So glad you got a morning to yourself. You deserve it, and more often than every 7-8 months!

  30. I am jealous of your alone time! I unfortunately have alone time I don't want because it's work and that's when my daughter is at daycare and I hate every minute of it. I guess in some ways, I'd like less alone time now than I did when I was home with her and she was a no-bottle nurser and attached to me at the hip. I don't mind her independence but I wish I could be a more frequent part of it.

    Makes no sense, I know, but that's emotions for you!

  31. mattie

    love this! yesterday was a hard day for me. combine no free time, two children, a baby who will only nap in my arms and who wants to be held all day, and a toddler who is really whiny lately and it was a recipe for disaster. i felt like i was on the verge of crying half the day. when daddy got home, i passed off the baby and went to the gym. worked my butt off (which helps me feel more positive about my post-baby body as well) and came home and felt like i could handle it again. i couldn't believe how much that hour of doing something for myself made a difference. plus its good for the kids to have alone time with dad, too!

  32. what a very honest and true post…all of us mothers feel like this at some point…being a mom is wonderful, i wouldn't change it for the world…but sometimes you just need some alone time…

  33. Mariela

    Very honest and true, we need those breaks, so we can be a better mom, wife and person, glad you take your time, have a nice day.

  34. Alli

    Can I just copy and paste this to my blog?? Lol. My baby girl is just a month older, and the only time away from her has been to see Harry potter as well. Couldn't ask for it to be any different though!

  35. Jessica

    I love this post.
    An honest, honest post.
    I've just been kind of feeling a little bit intimidated lately by how blogging is very focused on EVERYTHING postive and it makes it seems like the blogs I read have perfect lives.
    I love this because you're showing that life isn't perfect and it is, in fact, hard work.
    So thank you. :)

    You're a fantastic mom. :)


  36. i enjoy and love your posts like that. so honest! :)

  37. erin

    i totally relate to everything about this post. we had trouble nursing in the beginning because of a bad case of jaundice and once we finally got the hang of it, i was terrified to try a bottle. weeks turned into months and before i knew it, i was in your exact same position. we eventually got her to drink from a glass with a straw (she's a unique kid) and i finally got some much needed alone time. live and learn.

  38. i can totally relate, i was barely ever away from my son in the first year of his life. & i tried giving him a bottle after only a week of breastfeeding and he still rejected it, so who knows with that. the key thing for me with alone time is to write down what i want to do before i am alone. cuz it seems like if i don't i get all confused and don't know what to do with myself and end up calling the wrong person and burning food. xx

  39. If you don't take care of yourself, you can forget being able to have a clear-head for taking care of a little person!

    It's like they tell you on the planes, put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then help those around you.

    A happy momma (and I'm a firm believer that alone time is essential to being happy), is when a momma is at her best.

  40. I fully understand. I have two boys, 7mo & 2.5 yrs, who I stay at home with. You wrote exactly how I've felt many times. I don't know what I would do without my husband being so hands on. If I have a tough day, I can hand them off when he gets home and lock myself in the bathroom for a bath with a pile of books, magazines & my iPod. Nothing better. Ironically, I keep hoping my toddler will decide to come in & say hi. :-) Mothers are complex creatures. Never feel bad about taking time for yourself, it's better for the baby in the long run. Good luck with the solids too, we're right there with you.

  41. Jessica

    Love this post! You're an honest and wonderful Mom…a true inspiration. Keep taking those moments for yourself…they are much needed and much deserved.

  42. I too, never allow myself any down time. It gets so stressful with such a needy high maintenance baby 24/7. It's funny how you crave "you" time but the whole time you're thinking about them.

    Take care!

  43. Brit

    I know exactly how you feel. And you don't realize how much you need a break until you get it. You're such a great momma, you deserve any break you can get.

  44. t.

    i remember the first time i had a break from my baby. he was about 5 months old and i went and got a haircut! it was just a couple of hours, but it was definitely enjoyed.

    i was wondering how the elimination communication was coming along for you guys?

  45. my little boy is just 6 months and i'm slowly having to learn that too…sometimes it's hard to let people help, especially with your own baby!
    Smoking Crayolas Blogspot

  46. Diana

    I know it's easier said than done…but don't feel guilty for needing some time away from little E. You're a fantastic mother, and mommies need time alone. It's that individuality that makes a good mother a great one, like you!

  47. I'm SO there right now! Love this.

  48. Meghan

    As a new momma to an almost 2 month old precious baby girl, your last sentence just about sums everything up…"even when i have to hold eleanor as i pee because she doesn't want to let go, i still love every second of it."

  49. Meg

    Oh my, I'm right there with you! We waited wayyy too long for the bottle, and I'm a bit obsessed with my girl as well. Luckily she has no teeth yet. Ouch! I'm glad you got a few hours away. You deserve it!

  50. I don't actually have a child but I think you are completely right! Everyone needs alone time even without a child, so with I'm sure it's even more important. I also think taking time away for you, also sets a good example for your baby girl. It shows her to value herself and nurture herself too. I hope you keep this up and take care of you!

  51. joolee

    yes, that alone time is SO essential. my three kiddos are much cuter and i'm much more patient with them after i've been away from them for a time! and YES, you just love, love, LOVE your husband even more for letting you get away, don't you?? my husband knows i'll go nuts if i don't have some alone time, whether it's during the day to go shopping, running or reading a book late into the night. :)

  52. I can totally relate! You are doing great and yes, we mamas do need our alone time every now and then. It's good for everyone. Happy mama = happy baby and family! :)

  53. Leah

    I'm with you 100%. I've come to realize being away from my children from time to time actually makes me a better and happier mom, AND wife.

  54. Kiasa

    Well done Naomi! It's so tricky to find the balance (still after 5 yrs and 3 kids) . When I have those kinds of weeks I txt my favorite sitter and ask her when is the soonest she can come. (Luckily you have Josh!) It is so rejuvenating to have time away, even for a bit.

  55. I completely relate. COMPLETELY! Right now Gwyneth is attempting to eat my computer charger. I am pumping milk and writing this. I have peed holding her. I have had every minute of every day interrupted by her squeaks, squeels, laughter and tears. And I know how sharp those little teeth are… (shudder). Tonight I am starting a ballet class. It's once each week and only an hour. I know I'll miss her terribly but I also know it will be good for me. You are clearly an awesome mama and I'm glad you got some "you time".


  56. Emily

    You and your family are awesome. Glad you got a little bit of time away. :) I was the same way with my daughter- she wouldn't take a bottle and actually cried all the time for the first five months of her life and I couldn't leave her with anyone (I mean, isn't it hard enough when it's your own child crying all the time, much less someone else's). We finally left her with a babysitter when she was about 19 months old and she did great. It was actually a little bit weird to just go out with my husband alone.

  57. s a m

    you can take care of others best when you take care of yourself. You can only give when you have taken the time (oh, just a little time) to nuture what's inside you. Way to go girl.

  58. this post was so good for me. i have a six month old baby girl and although i am blessed beyond measure to have her, i get frustrated never having alone time. so im glad im not the only one! thanks for sharing your honest and sweet thoughts.

  59. Kelly

    hahahaha, I have a 14 mon old and I have peed so many times holding him. that made me laugh so hard. I love your blog cuz your so honest and funny. not to mention completely adorable. You are a WONDERFUL mommy. I mean, from what I "see" anyway ;) I love to come to your blog and see my other friends commenting on your posts and we dont even know it. lol. like my friend from back home….Hey Paige!

  60. I can sooo relate to this post! My baby is 3 weeks younger than Eleanor and I recently felt like I hit a wall. I couldn't go on any longer without a little me time. And as soon as I got it, I felt a world better! mommyhood is a really funny thing because as soon as you're away from your little one, all you want is to be with them again.

  61. Krystal

    My baby girl is about 4 weeks old and I just had my first tough night with her this past weekend. Yikes. Good for you for taking some time to yourself. I think that to be alert and fresh and the best mom possible, we need some time once in a while alone to relax.

  62. Samantha

    Just know that you are not alone. I think it's especially true for first time moms. In my case, I was with my son for the first 5 1/2 months and then went back to work suddenly- I was an emotional basket case. You will be a better mommy if you take care of yourself though. I find that if I can work out or simply shower I am much happier throughout the day.
    Also, I got the baby bullet to make my son's baby food- maybe it will make you feel better if you know Eleanor's food is home made.

  63. Loved this post. Exactly how I've been feeling, though my baby girl is only 3 months. Can I ask were you nervous to be away a whole morning in case if she got hungry while you were gone? I've been wanting a haircut desperately but it seems impossible to do since she wants to nurse so frequently.

  64. Emily M.

    mommy alone time is vital to our existence, i swear! it is funny though how the whole time you are away you are thinking about your baby anyway, so it's hard to relax completely. being a mother sure is a whole new ball game! i'm glad you took time to yourself. i remember a few months ago you wrote about how you didn't understand why people left their babies for dates, etc. i was worried about the whole burning out thing- because it's bound to happen if you don't get some time to yourself. i think it's definitely a positive thing, because you get a break and are then EXCITED to see your baby, and your baby also gets a break (can you imagine how bored of us they get?!) and also exposure to other people so that they aren't attached to your leg all the time. win win situation! and LASTLY, your hair looks absolutely amazing!

  65. Whit K

    Thanks for sharing. I have a little babe about the same age and sometimes I feel guilty because I feel like a need a couple hours to myself.

  66. buhdoop

    Best post of the year. I love your blog best when you write what is on your mind about life or whatever.

    I loved reading this post and will probably re-read it when I need Mommy perspective. Or just whenever.

  67. Amen. I still have trouble sleeping sometimes because I just want a little time to myself. The free morning thing is a much better idea!

  68. Melu103

    what a great post ..
    you are an amazing mother!

    it's not selfish to want some
    time alone. You need to relax
    and get refreshed so then you
    can come back to your baby
    girl and give you 100 percent
    attention and energy.

    :) you are truly a great mom!
    don't ever doubt that


  69. Great post!! We all need a break from mamahood from time to time and also a break where we can have alone time with our husbands so they can see us as not just "mommy mode". Glad you got away and refreshed!!!1

  70. Libby

    That last bit cracked me up. I can't tell you how many times I've taken potty breaks with one of my kiddos snugged in the Bjorn…not the easiest task in town!

    Motherhood is a crazy, wonderful animal. But you definitely deserve a wee hiatus from said animal now and again!

  71. Ginny

    I am glad you gave yourself permission to treat yourself. Although motherhood is quite the experience–so I've heard, and am about to embark on–I have also heard to be the best mommy you can be, you still have to remember to take care of yourself!

  72. This post could have been written by me, almost 4 years ago when I had my daughter. I could count the number of times on one hand when she had a bottle. I was rarely away from her. It truly does start to wear on you, even with a baby as adorable as your's! That's why when I had my second baby (about 6 months ago) I decided that he would have bottles and that I would spend time away from him, even if it was only a couple of hours. It makes both of you love and appreciate each other all the more! Being a mom is such a trial and error thing, so challenging! However, it is so evident that you are a wonderful mom to your baby girl!

  73. Libby

    Moms must need their alone time if I as a nanny need my alone time too! Sometimes I just feel like I may go crazy! You and josh should go on date nights too! Just the 2 of you for at least 2 hours. My mom has said that her marriage would have been a LOT better if she and my dad and done that and kept to it. Just 2 hours a week to be by yourself, no baby talk, only you two!

  74. miriam

    I totally 100% understand. I have been home alone maybe twice since my 11 month old was born. And generally, the only reason I'm alone is because I really need to get some cleaning done and my husband is going somewhere. And cleaning with my alone time? Totally doesn't count! And evenings when my husband is working, and the baby goes to bed at 8, and I have some time? I find myself looking at pictures of her, and sneaking in to peek at my sleeping baby.

  75. Meghan

    i have read your blog for years now but have never commented. but reading that you have held eleanor while you peed made me laugh out loud perhaps the loudest that i ever had. it is nice to know i'm not the only new mama that has done that :)

  76. Dianna

    mommy alone time is nessesary!

  77. it must've been amazing to have some me time :) You sound like such a great mama!

  78. Cristi

    I can totally relate to this post (the bathroom part and all)… and I tool learned that every mommy needs a break…even if we miss them the entire time we are away.

    How can we fill our children's cup if we don't have a full one ourselves. Good for you for taking the time! I want to see pics of your hair!

    Your baby girl is a lucky baby to have you as her mommy.


  79. Angela

    Naomi, you're such a good mama! Everyone needs that alone time, though, and I'm glad you got some. And Josh and Eleanor got some daddy-daughter time. :)

    What a sweet post!

    ~ Angela

  80. This is such an awesome post! It is important to remember that taking care of mama also falls under the taking care of baby category sometimes!

  81. I have lived with family near and without, it makes all the difference to have a few extra sitters around. That is great your husband took her. And I can't agree with you more that late nights to do nothing are sometimes needed! Good luck with the solids,

  82. robyn

    you make me want to be a mama. and i've never seen anyone rock red lipstick like you.

  83. As a person planning for motherhood soon, it is good to read things like this, and know it's ok if I just get worn out. It's not selfish to have time alone, because it helps your kid out in the long run.

    I've also wondered how moms pee when their baby needs attention. Good to know. :D

  84. I'm right there with you sister. Even though I've only been a mama for three months I have learned so much. I don't think it's at all selfish to need 'you' time. I figured that out after only one week when I broke down to my mom and told I had to get out and left the babe for a mere 20 minutes to get a drink at the gas station. It still felt good.
    The day baby girl took a bottle I cried. Because it meant freedom for just a few more hours. That sounds bad but I know you get it. And that's why I work one day a week. My sanity, and I can appreciate being home that much more. Here's to 'you' time! :)

  85. i think all women, the mothers and one's like myself (not YET a mother!), can appreciate some real, honest word about motherhood. it gives me a sense of relief that when i do become a mother, i'm allowed to feel that way that you're talking about because every mother has gone through it.
    thanks again for such a wonderfully honest look at motherhood! xo.

  86. Olesya

    Thank you for the honesty. I'm not a mother myself but am a pseudo aunt to so many little ones. I love taking my friends out who are moms for an hour or two just so that they can have a moment… feel like women and not moms for just an hour. It is absolutely necessary if you want to stay sane and functioning!

  87. I really admire you and this blog. You sound like a wonderful mother! I really enjoy reading your entries and seeing your beautiful daughter and family ;]

  88. Jessica

    It's always so refreshing when bloggers & others in the public eye are candid and real about their lives. I am not a mother but dream of being one someday, and you only heighten that dream! Also I really admire the fact that you are not scared to share your faith :) Thank you for being a wonderful role model for me and, I'm sure, many others!

  89. Tiera

    Good for you for taking time for yourself, you deserve it! And I'm sure Josh LOVED his daddy-daughter time :)

  90. I understand the separation anxiety. I had my daughter when I was 17 and I chose to nurse her, so naturally we were inseparable. When she was about 3 months we introduced the bottle and she looked at me like I was crazy. So we continued nursing until she was 14 months. Yes, even after all the biting and nipping. After that I just had to stop cold turkey. But I don't regret a minute of the nursing/bonding moments. Especially when she is 6 years old now :)

  91. Rachelle

    i know! all of what you said, i know. it's important to have a small amount of alone time there and there to stay sane. but sometimes that time is so hard to find! ha! but you're doing awesome! its good to be a mom. :)

  92. This is your best post by far. So honest, and real, and true. I love your blog. You are a great mama. Also, you really made me want a trim and a pizza :)

  93. T.

    You are the sweetest thing. Thank you for that post…you are an inspiration!

  94. Cortney

    I'm really glad to read this post. I remember reading about how you didn't understand why people left their babies behind on date nights, and how you just couldn't do it, etc. I'm not a mom, but a lot of the other mom were saying "just wait, you'll know when you need your alone time and then you'll crave it!". I think it's good you recognized your needs and took care of them. Especially as a breast feeding mama, you are so intimately and constantly tied to your baby that it is even more important to have breaks. Babies are dependent anyway, but when you're the sole food source it must add an extra layer of overwhelming.

  95. Jacob

    so sweet! glad you had some time to yourself! that is important, too!

  96. molly

    i couldn't agree more! we just moved and the network i once had to give me some peace and quiet is now gone. it is SO tough. my husband travels a lot so when he is here i want to get family time. thus, by the end of the week i have some what lost it! so, thank you for this post, makes me feel less alone in this world of being a first time mom!

  97. You are absolutely right that you need time to yourself! Shoot, I don't have a child yet, but there are days when I just need to be by myself, doing my own thing, like getting my nails done or just sitting in silence and browsing the Internet while the husband cleans or runs errands or does laundry (to be fair, he always offers to do these things anyhow!) Time away from homework and co-workers and the gym….we all need that alone time. Don't feel bad for taking it.

  98. naomi!
    I found myself both smiling and laughing with your post. I too am nursing a very attached 3 month old little girl. Sometimes I wonder who needs who the most, i'm pretty sure most days i'd like to think that she needs me, but who are we kidding, we're completely hooked on our babies. I constantly battle with spending alone time because I feel guilty but my hubby demands (sometimes he literally takes her away from me! ha) that I take some 'me time'. All mammas need it, especially new ones. I commend you for nursing as well, its one of the best things you can do for that beautiful little Eleanor!

    Best wishes,

  99. Brooke

    it's so incredibly refreshing to read that i am not alone! 17 weeks without more than an hour or two away and i am just now starting to really feel it. if you don't mind me asking, what/how did e eat while you were gone? i gave up on the bottle and started showing her the sippy cup. even if she just wastes my milk, i want her to become familiar with it!

  100. Erin

    It is so good to have a chance to miss them. Sometime we need that time away just to realize that going pee while holding (or nursing a baby) isn't so bad after all. :)

  101. paige

    even though this seemed like the best thing you could have done for yourself (and it was!) it was also the best thing you could have done for your husband and baby. us women need to refuel on our own every once in a while in order to be there in full force for the ones we love. you rock! xoxoox

  102. I'm still figuring this out even though my oldest is going on six. It's so easy for me to say "I got this!" and so easy to push myself until I'm beat. But I try to remember that this is the only time our kids will be this little, though I truly truly hope that we'll have perfect memories of all the sweet moments when all is said and done on this earth. Friends, too, can be lifesavers. My best friends all have kids the same age as mine and trading off for playdates has been a huge blessing and sanity-saver.

  103. oh girl I am in the SAME boat! only a 3month old, an almost 3 year old and a hubby who is deployed. I am home visiting family and went to the grocery store by myself and realized it was the first time I'd been alone in over 9 weeks! I love my life and my girls {obviously} but that sliver of "me time" was so so precious. unfortunately my little chicklet won't take a bottle- she acts pissed when I offer it to her! so that's a struggle I'm working through because really? momma needs some time to herself :)

  104. I loved your post Naomi.

    I am an older Mom with all my four kids raised. I wanted to put out one thought for you.

    When I was in the thick of mothering I never once felt like I wanted to get away from my children. I loved being a mom, and I loved my kids and our time together. I did however, need breaks from the heavy responsibilities that come with being "the Mom".

    It wasn't about a break from the kids, it was about a break from the burdens and requirements of the job of being mommy. See the difference?

    Embrace and enjoy those breaks without guilt!

  105. lindsay

    With three kids I'm now a pro at taking "me" time. Even if it's just a really long shower… Great post!

  106. Alexis

    You are NOT alone! I have two children and my youngest is 10 1/2 months old! Not much older then your little cutie. But like you, Paul (my baby) has never taken a bottle and looks at me like I'm nuts! But he does eat solids now:) I still breastfeed and he still has no teeth! The thing with you going to the bathroom is so familar to me, as I do it EVERY DAY with Paul! But I have learned to put Paul in his pack n play in the mornings and have my 4 year old daughter sit next to him in the room while I take a shower by myself! You are a wonderful mother and you will get the hang of it!

  107. sinika

    It took me a lot longer to learn this simple, amazing lesson! But when I have time away from my babies, I am always a better mommy the second I get back. Plus- my boys hardly ever get alone time with their daddy. Yay for motherhood!

  108. L!$@

    So glad you took the time you needed to be yourself so you can always be the best mum to Eleanor! :D The last bit about your man and your baby, sooo cute :D

  109. You are lovely. And your blog is lovely. And your baby is lovely. And your husband is lovely. (In a bow tie! HA HA!) I'm a big fan of yours and always read, but rarely comment. You get hundreds of comments. I'm like, "Can a girl get a comment up in here?" HA HA! I couldn't resist this time. I have a five year old. She's a fiery handful. I have a two year old. He's a little goober. Being a mom is SUPER DUPER hard, but the "time away" saves us. It's therapy. I believe it makes us better mothers. It's okay to do that…to take some time for yourself. You're not alone, hot mama. We're all in this together. It's a beautiful thing when women can truly support other women. MWAH! http:/callmemamaleisha.blogspot.com

  110. Juliette

    I'm following your blog since a while now, and it's amazing to witness your adventures through the years.
    You are a truly kind person, a gorgeous women and an amazing mom.

    It is also great to "meet" many other great gals through sweet comments and words.

    Yayy for you ladies, you made my day!


  111. I usually go straight for the pictures, but this time – I hung onto every word. Incredible post, and yes – I agree – you ought to have time for yourself every now and then. I think it's important for you, and E.

    Good job.


  112. VLS

    Naomi, I am very curious: what did you and Josh end up doing about feeding E while you were away?

  113. Meagan

    I had one more semester to finish up after I had my daughter and it was definitely one of the most trying times of my life. It was so hard to keep my life balanced. I neglected "me" time for toooo long. I had a night class for 2 hours and I had a friend come over to watch my sweet baby because my husband had to work. trust me, I screened all of my friends and they know it too. I finally picked my friend because she was a NURSE. hahaha I was such a looney. Anyways, while I was in class, I was thinking, no one in here knows that I am a mama. And that really disturbed me for some reason. it was hard right then, when she was only 2 months old, and I was still post partum, to think that I could have 2 hours once a week, learn about STD's (health science major) and have discussions other than how many times she had pooped that day. I would know it was time to go home because my milk was overflowing by the end of that class, but I think 2 hrs is good enough to recharge almost every mama.

    Anyways, now, she is 2 yrs old. and it is even more difficult to run out of the house alone (my hubs is in law school now). So I wish I took advantage of those newborn, sleep all the time, stage to go to the grocery store in peace and quiet!

    You are a great mom and don't forget it. Your family is so adorable and you should never feel guilty for wanting some alone time. HECK I want alone time just in the bathroom! My toddler loves to point out what I'm doing in there! I'm never going to be alone again!!!! :-)

  114. it's interesting to read this, because i found it crazy when i first started reading your blog that you wouldn't leave e to go on dates with your husband. as a young mother myself (22) i thought i would go crazy without some alone time to focus on each other! and yes, even myself occassionally. a morning off is a big step, maybe date night will be next. does babies good to have to be on their own with other people too, helps them build trust and it's good for her to learn to be away from you and know you'll be back.
    Congrats on the big step =)

  115. molly

    love the honesty. being a mom is hard. so hard some days. but by far the best job ever. and alone time is a must :)

  116. Alexia

    this definitely is my favorite post! its always nice to see people being so open about life's (little & big) struggles, so thank you for sharing! your family is absolutely beautiful and eleanor is the cutest little thing i have ever seen!

  117. Ingrid

    what a great post. i am the same, hate time away from my kids but know i need it to be a good mum. it gives you the energy to keep going and it is so awesome to see your kids again! x

  118. Wow, this describes my experience with my 6-month old to a tee. I was feeling like I was on such a tether. So I copied a friend and started on one bottle of formula a day so that I could stock up on breast milk and not feel so tied to the house. (Which was hard decision for me because he'd been 100% nursed up to that point). I'm lucky he'll take a bottle. Now I have boat loads of breast milk in the freezer (that I wonder if I'll use it all) but the point is I CAN leave if WANT to. Ahhh, motherhood!

    http://www.TXMILK.com (Texas Moms I'd Like to Know)

  119. Wow, this describes my experience with my 6-month old to a tee. I was feeling like I was on such a tether. So I copied a friend and started on one bottle of formula a day so that I could stock up on breast milk and not feel so tied to the house. (Which was hard decision for me because he'd been 100% nursed up to that point). I'm lucky he'll take a bottle. Now I have boat loads of breast milk in the freezer (that I wonder if I'll use it all) but the point is I CAN leave if WANT to. Ahhh, motherhood!

    http://www.TXMILK.com (Texas Moms I'd Like to Know)

  120. Briel79

    Mom's definitely need breaks and time to themselves! It's also good for the baby. :)

  121. I stay home with my kids and then work (online for Google) at night. I work until 11:00 pm and end up staying up 'til 1 or 2 every night for that very reason–there has to be some me time, when I'm not being pulled in 3 different directions! You are not alone, my friend. Hurray for sweet husbands who make mothering easier. I'm a better mom when I have some time to myself!

  122. Also, I learned after baby #1 that offering a bottle from day one does NOT cause nipple confusion. It causes happiness and peace in the home. Next time you'll know! :)

  123. ashley

    I appreciate your thoughtfulness and your honesty in this post. Thanks for this precious reminder.

  124. minta

    thanks for sharing, going through same thing now with my 7 week old… such a blessing but I definitely need me time sometimes.

  125. Laine

    This is such a tender post. My little son is one and I can so relate to your words! He is the delight of my soul but it was very hard to really take some time for myself occassionally. I needed him as much as he needed me! It is amazing how strong the connection between mama and baby is and how off it can feel to be apart. But, it really is a necessary thing. We are newish to DC and it can be pretty isolating to be a new mom in a new place and even harder to have time away or time alone. I nurse my baby and it is a lot of pressure to be so wholly responsible for your child's well being in every way (except for dada cuddles and play time, of course!). To be completely on every second is very draining. It is wonderful to have some time to allow your brain to relax that focus for a bit. That said, Henry is my sidekick (or maybe I am his…) and I really love having him with me as much as I can. There is nothing like seeing that baby-face light up after we have been apart!

  126. Lindsey

    Oh man I feel you, seriously. I feel so guilty saying it.

  127. Thanks for the honest post. One criticism I have of mommy blogs is that a lot of them try to portray a perfect life every second, when I know for sure that life just isn't that photogenic, nor happy all the time. Posts like this makes blogs interesting and draw me in. Thanks for sharing!

  128. arynfine

    Completely relate. I feel extra guilty when I take alone time, because my husband is writing his dissertation, so he sort of works from home. Its really difficult to find a balance I'm comfortable with – I want him to write and write well, but I also want time alone and time for all three of us to be together!

  129. melissa

    i'm sure you have this under control, but i just wanted to throw this out there–my baby boy never saw a a bottle until he was like 7 months old and he, too, was like "what the heck? i don't think so…" but i was running an overnight race and leaving him with grandma, so what worked for us was to have dad only feed him bottles and i only breastfed. it took a couple of tries but he did end up doing both just fine!

  130. Blicious

    i just adore you! can we be friends? hehe you guys are so great!


  131. I know you get about a gazillion comments on each post a day but I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed reading and relating to this particular post. I had a baby boy the end of January. I of course adore him but the occasional day does happen where I am just waiting for him to go to bed for the night so that I can get an hr for myself before I need to hit the sack. Here's to you getting a few more "alone" days.

  132. db artsy

    Oh, I love new moms, you are so cute! I too felt the same when I left my first daughter for a dentist appointment – I was freaking out!
    We also attempted the bottle too late, so it took a while before I felt comfortable taking off for a couple of hours.
    But let me tell ya', once she started sleeping thru the night, I got to go out at night with my girlfriends, and sometimes even with my hubby! What a difference.
    It does not mean you're selfish, it just means you want to stay sane. I needed it for sure.
    Since then, I've taken a few trips with my sister and best friend. None with my hubby cause no one dares take care of my hellions for more than a night (next year we'll bribe someone!).
    So, enjoy your time by yourself. Even doing groceries by myself at night, when it's not as busy, feels like a treat. :)
    By the way, she is looking soooo gorgeous, good job mama.

  133. Silvy

    loved this post, so honest and true! thanks for writing!

  134. OMG, I just got my haircut by Nate at Immortal Beloved like 2 weeks ago. I got bangs and one of my inspiration pictures was from your blog. How dorky am I!? If your hairstylist saw, I bet your hairstylist probably chuckled to themselves like "I know that girl"

    Thanks for the bangs inspiration!

  135. Thank you so much for the honesty of that post. I had one of those days today, and my husband was good enough to come home from work and give me a much needed break. Needless to say, I felt like a horrible mother to my 7 1/2 month old because I needed a break and couldn't do it all myself. When I came home, I caught up on your blog and was very uplifted by your entry. It helps to know others have the same needs for an occasional break. Thank you!!!

  136. Izzy

    Thank you so much for this honest post. Us mammas tend to get so guilty over even a minute away from our baby. You're taking care of yourself, and that in turn will make you even a more awsome mom.

  137. I love reading posts like this… makes me feel good to be reminded of the fact that there are actually other women in this world who struggle from time to time with being a mom. [duh.] Thanks for being so honest! This makes me feel normal. =)

  138. Emily

    Just found your blog.

    I've written many similar things like this on my own blog. You're definitely not alone.

  139. You really are a rockstar. My daughter is 15 weeks old and she's still only nursing… but I can't imagine how taxing that would be to not have the option to pump the times I do need to be apart from her. Motherhood is such joy, and such sacrifice… so hearing an honest voice on the sometime challenges is refreshing.

    Also, how wonderful that you are blessed with such a giving partner… so you don't have to feel guilty when you do want a little morning to get your hair and nails done. =)

  140. nanb

    I hear you! my baby girl was born feb 2nd this year and we were too lax about getting her to take a bottle too :(. Ah well, I have a morning off next week when i'll be getting a massage, soooo looking forward to that!